A Wish for Freedom
Title: A Wish for Freedom
Author: trytofly5
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Warnings: forced feminization, dark!fic
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: Fifth in wife!verse. After giving up his life to became Jared's wife, Jensen doesn't think he can take it anymore.
A/N: Sorry for taking forever to update!
Jensen turned his head away from Jared’s scrunched up face. The panting was driving him crazy. He knew that it was healthy for husbands and wives to make love, but it just wasn’t worth it anymore. He gave up jacking himself off to orgasm, somewhere after they adopted their third child. It was simply too much effort.
The panting in his ear became louder. That along with the squelchy sound of Jared’s lubed cock entering his ass was simply too much. He wanted Jared off of him right now! He was tired. He had to get up in the morning and go about the routine. He had to make breakfast for Jared and the kids. He had to take the older kids to school. Then clean the house, do the laundry, get the bills done, do the shopping, and keep a baby and toddler entertained. All of this and he was expected to have dinner on the table by the time he got home. Jensen needed his sleep.
Jensen finally decided to squeeze his inner channel, bringing a moan out of Jared. “So tight,” Jared panted. He hated the talking more than anything. He would much rather has Jared pant in his ear than start the talking. It makes him uncomfortable. “So hot,” Jared continued.
Jensen grabbed is face and brought down for a kiss. Jared was so startled that he almost slipped out. They didn’t really kiss anymore. Sure, they had goodbye pecks when Jared was off to work, but nothing real. It felt strange, kissing Jared like this. It brought a pang of sorrow into Jensen’s belly. They used to kiss like this when they were dating, back when Jensen was seen as a man.
Jared’s hips stuttered a little and then slammed back in. He started convulsing on top of Jensen. Jensen almost sighed in relief, Jared was done. Jensen patted him on the back as Jared pulled out. Jensen couldn’t stop the wince. They didn’t have sex that often. They finally decided to make it a weekly thing after Jared insisted to see a counselor at their church. Jensen was too sad, he had said. There was something wrong with him, he had added.
Jared groaned and flopped down on the bed beside him. “Did you come?”he grunted out. The question almost shocks Jensen. He was a man! If he had gotten off Jared would have been able to tell.
“No,” he muttered.
“Oh,” Jared shrugged. “I’d eat you out, but that would be kinda gross.” That’s how it was. Jensen was this strange dickless creature, who only had one hole. He wanted to laugh. He couldn’t even be a proper woman with only one hole. Jensen had given up trying to convince Jared to touch his cock. Husbands don’t touch and pretend wives don’t have them.
They laid there in silence, not looking or touching each other. Jared used to spoon him after sex. However, Jensen started pulling away. That was one of the reasons Jared took him to the counselor.
“So,” Jared said. “I talked to a buddy earlier. We thought we’d go fishing this weekend.”
“Saturday is Amy’s dance recital,” Jensen snapped.
“She wouldn’t mind,” Jared muttered.
“Yes, she will!” Jensen said agitated. “She would want her father there.”
“She’s got her mother and her brothers and sister,” Jared sighed. Jensen couldn’t help but wince at the word mother. Even after all these years, it still stung.
Jensen turned away from Jared and buried his face in the pillows. He heard Jared sigh behind him.
“It’s a onetime thing,” Jared said. “And I need a break.”
Jensen didn’t say anything.
“Don’t be like this,” Jared growled.
“Be like what?” Jensen snapped. “Like an angry little wife?”
“Jen,” Jared began.
“Do what you want,” Jensen sighed.
Jensen didn’t sleep at all that night. He was too furious to be able to even close his eyes, let alone sleep. All that ran through his head was that Jared couldn’t even hold the title of father anymore. He wouldn’t even do the simplest act of going to their daughter’s dance recital.
“Still my angry little wife?” Jared tried to joke as he came into the kitchen, where Jensen was preparing their breakfast.
Jensen made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat as he slammed their plates on the counter.
“Jen,” Jared began.
“Kids!” he hollered up the stairs. “Danny has to be at school early today.”
“I love you,” Jared said digging into his breakfast.
Jensen rolled his eyes and went back to the stove to finish the kids’ breakfast.
“I said I love you,” Jared said louder.
“I heard you,” Jensen snapped.
Jared rolled his eyes and finished off his food. “Bye,” he leaned in to kiss Jensen, but Jensen pushed him away.
“Why don’t you kiss your fishing buddies?” Jensen snapped.
“Good lord, get off the rag,” Jared huffed as he left the house.
Today was Jensen’s lunch with the other wives. He didn’t particularly enjoy it. All the wives did there was sit around and discuss child rearing and housework. It was bad enough that he had to do it all the time, Jensen didn’t really want to talk about it too.
Jensen stopped paying attention to any of the other wives. All he could think about was what Jared said last night. He didn’t want to go to their daughter’s dance recital. He wanted to go fishing. Jared wasn’t in the room for their last child’s birth. The game was on and birth was apparently a wife thing only. Jared forgot their anniversary this year. He quickly bought Jensen a dozen roses after Jensen told him, but that wasn’t enough. Jared didn’t even care to remember when Jensen gave his life up for him. Jared never gave him as much as he gave Jared.
“I want to divorce Jared,” Jensen said quietly.
“What?” a blond haired wife shrieked.
“I want to divorce Jared,” Jensen said a little louder and more confident.
“And do what?” the blond asked. “He’s all you have!”
“I want to go back,” Jensen said softly.
“You can’t,” a black haired wife piped up. “This is your life.”
“What would people say?” a redheaded wife scoffed.
“You better make it up to your husband for saying such things!” the blond haired wife continued.
“Why?” Jensen snarled. “How does he deserve any of this?”
“He brings home the paycheck and takes care of you!” a brown haired wife said. “He deserves it!”
“Do you want to shame your family?” the black haired wife said. “Think of what it will do to your children!”
“Well, I don’t want to hurt them,” Jensen said softly. As much as he hated his life, he still loved his children.
“Then stop this nonsense!” an older wife said sternly. “Make your husband a good dinner and let him make love to you.”
Jensen did as he was told.