Kingdom Hearts } Loophole, Loophole
Word Count: 1186
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Ships?: Kinda sorta Vexen/Larxene, implied Axel/Larxene, I-guess-if-you-want-it-to-be Xigbar/Larxene. Larxene's not a ho. She's a she-pimp. GET IT RIGHT.
Characters: Vexen, Larxene
→Cameos: Xigbar
→Mentions: Axel, Demyx, Zexion, Lexaeus
Rating: PG for sexual tension, I guess?
Spoilers: None!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any related characters. This was written out of enjoyment of the series, and no profit is being made.
Notes: Done for prompt #9 in my un_love_you claim: "Always wondered what this'd be like". Takes place after the events of A Woman's Touch.
The lab will never really be the same again.
Loophole, Loophole
The first thing a new member of the Organization learns about Vexen (besides the obligatory name, number, element rundown) is that he spends a majority of his time in the Castle That Never Was in the basement labs.
Furthermore, a majority of that time spent in the labs is time where you are simply just not meant to bother him. Such was the candid advice of one Zexion the Cloaked Schemer, and for the most part it was followed. Early in their careers as Organization members, Demyx and Axel made the mistakes of thinking not much harm could feasibly come to them if they were to bother the scientist.
They had been wrong. And Vexen was quite glad that he had made that line very clear.
The elevator door slides open as it hits the lowest floor of the castle, and Vexen doesn’t look up from his papers as he walks out into the first room of the labs, snapping on light switches as he sips at a mug of lukewarm coffee. As soon as the reports slip out of his arms and on to the desk, he straightens, eyes narrowed.
Something smelled fantastic.
Following the new scent, Vexen tries to remember if Zexion had started any new experiments regarding olfactory data, but found he couldn’t. He turns into the room the smell wafts from, ready to ask his long-time companion what he’s working on.
He stops dead in his tracks and has to prevent himself from choking on shock when he sees two blonde bangs and a distinctly feminine back in the midst of the room, sans coat and dancing to the tinny chords of an old radio in the corner. (There was music to pick up - from where? Still so many mysteries to this world…)
“Hello, Vexen!” Larxene practically sings as she turns to grin at him over her shoulder. Her blue-green eyes are bright behind the pair of protective plastic glasses she wears. She waves her hand in the direction of the radio and the sound disappears. “How are you today?”
“What are you doing here?!” Vexen splutters, storming in for all of two strides before the neophyte completely rounds on him, and he sees that she has a test tube full of some burbling liquid held in a pair of tongs. He has to bring himself to stop, frowning emphatically, not wanting to be in range in case she decides to throw it. Women were horribly unpredictable creatures.
Not to mention the fact that the test tube is from where the smell is emanating. He can’t place it - nothing found in nature, but not like that of perfume either. It is just alluring, whatever it is.
“Oh, Vexen, you’ve gone and answered my question with another question.” She ‘tsk’s in time with each wag of a gloved finger. “That’s not very polite.”
The scientist rolls his eyes impatiently. “I was doing relatively well until I discovered you here. Now what are you doing? It is forbidden for the neophytes to use lab equipment-”
“Unless one of you high-and-mighty elders gives us permission, yes?”
Vexen stares, disbelieving. Larxene smiles.
“Do you mean that ludicrous bet Xigbar and Xaldin made about you becoming a lab assistant? That was years ago, and you never even showed up or used this place-”
“No, but I certainly had the capacity to if I wanted, unless Xigbar has since rescinded his invitation,” Larxene replies, resting her chin on the knuckles of one hand and waving the test tube tongs casually with the other.
“Don’t hold it like that!” he snaps.
She places the steaming test tube on a holding rack carefully, shuts off the Bunsen burner, then turns back, a polite smile on her face. She starts toward him, crossing her heeled boots in front of one another as she twirls the pair of tongs like a gleaming weapon. “I really must ask your opinion, Vexen.”
Once she’s close enough, she runs her hands slowly up his chest, five fingers still entwined with her apparatus, until she can lock her arms around the back of his neck. “How do I smell?”
The florescent light glints off her glasses and cloaks her eyes with glare, but not her subtle grin. The smell wafts up into his nose and every neuron tells him to kiss her. He frowns to disguise the way his rationality battles with his instincts. Vexen mumbles an answer.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” she asks, standing on her toes and pressing her warm hips against him. He nearly chokes as she drags a single digit down his neck.
“Remarkable,” he hisses.
“Thank you. See, it’s my first time experimenting with pheromones. I still need to change some things for the final product,” she muses, fiddling with the zipper pull on his coat. “It’s something of a surprise for Axel.”
Vexen immediately wrinkles his nose, inhaling a good amount of her scent. “Axel?” he asks the wall.
“Um,” a voice from behind that he knows all too well makes him jump. He tries to wheel about to face it and push Larxene away at the same time, only to fail ridiculously. Larxene is wrapped fast around him, and his attempt to shove her off and turn at the same time results only in an awkward sort of embrace. It looks to the new arrival that they’re involved in a dance that requires a backwards dip gone horribly, horribly awry.
“Hello, Xigbar!” Larxene chirps, nestled in the crook of Vexen’s arm despite his attempts to dislodge her. He finally loses her when she shoves the test tube tongs into his chest and glides over to the scarred man, who looks utterly confused.
“‘Sup, Blondie,” he mumbles wonderingly, more out of habit than as an actual greeting. He blinks when Larxene cups his chin with both hands and plants a kiss on his cheek, making an exaggerated ‘mwah!’ sound. “Uh…”
“I can’t thank you enough for giving me permission to use these wonderful labs, Xigbar,” she hums, patting him on the shoulder and walking off in the direction of the elevator.
As she disappears, Xigbar turns back to Vexen, but he raises a hand for silence, pushing stray strands of dirty blond hair back into place. “What are you doing here? You’ve been-”
“Banishèd for nigh a decade,” Xigbar shrugs, strolling over to a desk near the doorframe he leans against. He scoops up a thick tome in one hand. “Gettin’ this book for Lex. He’s out the door on a mission to Neverland, but he asked me to give this back to Zexion.”
“Get out,” Vexen mumbles wearily, turning around and leaning against Larxene’s abandoned worktable, palms down on the spotless ceramic.
Seconds tick by and when Vexen looks over his shoulder, Xigbar still observes him with a piqued frown. “What?” he finally surrenders.
“Always wondered what it’d… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you turned on before,” the Freeshooter reports.
The ball of ice that Vexen hurls at him hits nothing but the corner of the doorframe and shatters, splinters twinkling as they rolled to the ground.
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Genre: Comedy, Romance
Ships?: Kinda sorta Vexen/Larxene, implied Axel/Larxene, I-guess-if-you-want-it-to-be Xigbar/Larxene. Larxene's not a ho. She's a she-pimp. GET IT RIGHT.
Characters: Vexen, Larxene
→Cameos: Xigbar
→Mentions: Axel, Demyx, Zexion, Lexaeus
Rating: PG for sexual tension, I guess?
Spoilers: None!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any related characters. This was written out of enjoyment of the series, and no profit is being made.
Notes: Done for prompt #9 in my un_love_you claim: "Always wondered what this'd be like". Takes place after the events of A Woman's Touch.
The lab will never really be the same again.
Loophole, Loophole
The first thing a new member of the Organization learns about Vexen (besides the obligatory name, number, element rundown) is that he spends a majority of his time in the Castle That Never Was in the basement labs.
Furthermore, a majority of that time spent in the labs is time where you are simply just not meant to bother him. Such was the candid advice of one Zexion the Cloaked Schemer, and for the most part it was followed. Early in their careers as Organization members, Demyx and Axel made the mistakes of thinking not much harm could feasibly come to them if they were to bother the scientist.
They had been wrong. And Vexen was quite glad that he had made that line very clear.
The elevator door slides open as it hits the lowest floor of the castle, and Vexen doesn’t look up from his papers as he walks out into the first room of the labs, snapping on light switches as he sips at a mug of lukewarm coffee. As soon as the reports slip out of his arms and on to the desk, he straightens, eyes narrowed.
Something smelled fantastic.
Following the new scent, Vexen tries to remember if Zexion had started any new experiments regarding olfactory data, but found he couldn’t. He turns into the room the smell wafts from, ready to ask his long-time companion what he’s working on.
He stops dead in his tracks and has to prevent himself from choking on shock when he sees two blonde bangs and a distinctly feminine back in the midst of the room, sans coat and dancing to the tinny chords of an old radio in the corner. (There was music to pick up - from where? Still so many mysteries to this world…)
“Hello, Vexen!” Larxene practically sings as she turns to grin at him over her shoulder. Her blue-green eyes are bright behind the pair of protective plastic glasses she wears. She waves her hand in the direction of the radio and the sound disappears. “How are you today?”
“What are you doing here?!” Vexen splutters, storming in for all of two strides before the neophyte completely rounds on him, and he sees that she has a test tube full of some burbling liquid held in a pair of tongs. He has to bring himself to stop, frowning emphatically, not wanting to be in range in case she decides to throw it. Women were horribly unpredictable creatures.
Not to mention the fact that the test tube is from where the smell is emanating. He can’t place it - nothing found in nature, but not like that of perfume either. It is just alluring, whatever it is.
“Oh, Vexen, you’ve gone and answered my question with another question.” She ‘tsk’s in time with each wag of a gloved finger. “That’s not very polite.”
The scientist rolls his eyes impatiently. “I was doing relatively well until I discovered you here. Now what are you doing? It is forbidden for the neophytes to use lab equipment-”
“Unless one of you high-and-mighty elders gives us permission, yes?”
Vexen stares, disbelieving. Larxene smiles.
“Do you mean that ludicrous bet Xigbar and Xaldin made about you becoming a lab assistant? That was years ago, and you never even showed up or used this place-”
“No, but I certainly had the capacity to if I wanted, unless Xigbar has since rescinded his invitation,” Larxene replies, resting her chin on the knuckles of one hand and waving the test tube tongs casually with the other.
“Don’t hold it like that!” he snaps.
She places the steaming test tube on a holding rack carefully, shuts off the Bunsen burner, then turns back, a polite smile on her face. She starts toward him, crossing her heeled boots in front of one another as she twirls the pair of tongs like a gleaming weapon. “I really must ask your opinion, Vexen.”
Once she’s close enough, she runs her hands slowly up his chest, five fingers still entwined with her apparatus, until she can lock her arms around the back of his neck. “How do I smell?”
The florescent light glints off her glasses and cloaks her eyes with glare, but not her subtle grin. The smell wafts up into his nose and every neuron tells him to kiss her. He frowns to disguise the way his rationality battles with his instincts. Vexen mumbles an answer.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” she asks, standing on her toes and pressing her warm hips against him. He nearly chokes as she drags a single digit down his neck.
“Remarkable,” he hisses.
“Thank you. See, it’s my first time experimenting with pheromones. I still need to change some things for the final product,” she muses, fiddling with the zipper pull on his coat. “It’s something of a surprise for Axel.”
Vexen immediately wrinkles his nose, inhaling a good amount of her scent. “Axel?” he asks the wall.
“Um,” a voice from behind that he knows all too well makes him jump. He tries to wheel about to face it and push Larxene away at the same time, only to fail ridiculously. Larxene is wrapped fast around him, and his attempt to shove her off and turn at the same time results only in an awkward sort of embrace. It looks to the new arrival that they’re involved in a dance that requires a backwards dip gone horribly, horribly awry.
“Hello, Xigbar!” Larxene chirps, nestled in the crook of Vexen’s arm despite his attempts to dislodge her. He finally loses her when she shoves the test tube tongs into his chest and glides over to the scarred man, who looks utterly confused.
“‘Sup, Blondie,” he mumbles wonderingly, more out of habit than as an actual greeting. He blinks when Larxene cups his chin with both hands and plants a kiss on his cheek, making an exaggerated ‘mwah!’ sound. “Uh…”
“I can’t thank you enough for giving me permission to use these wonderful labs, Xigbar,” she hums, patting him on the shoulder and walking off in the direction of the elevator.
As she disappears, Xigbar turns back to Vexen, but he raises a hand for silence, pushing stray strands of dirty blond hair back into place. “What are you doing here? You’ve been-”
“Banishèd for nigh a decade,” Xigbar shrugs, strolling over to a desk near the doorframe he leans against. He scoops up a thick tome in one hand. “Gettin’ this book for Lex. He’s out the door on a mission to Neverland, but he asked me to give this back to Zexion.”
“Get out,” Vexen mumbles wearily, turning around and leaning against Larxene’s abandoned worktable, palms down on the spotless ceramic.
Seconds tick by and when Vexen looks over his shoulder, Xigbar still observes him with a piqued frown. “What?” he finally surrenders.
“Always wondered what it’d… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you turned on before,” the Freeshooter reports.
The ball of ice that Vexen hurls at him hits nothing but the corner of the doorframe and shatters, splinters twinkling as they rolled to the ground.
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