Thoughts About An Old Flame...

[tsjocool]

I read a blog entry from someone I read daily.  She's gay, in a relationship and adopted a child who has a ton of emotional and behavioral problems.  The state they live in have basically refused to help the parents, the child or the family... simply because they're a gay couple who adopted.  In the past few blog entries they've posted, it seems

Comments

[nelsolidarida]

To some extent this is logical - people aren't one-dimensional, they are going to show different sides to different friends/acquaintances. I think I've gone through a bit of a chameleon phase each time I've made a major geographical move - it's partly that you do evolve a fair bit over a few years and have more scope to show that in a different context, it would be a slower progression when surrounded by the same friends as before. Generally there is some element of the 'real' person showing even when they are consciously blending in. Assuming we are thinking of the same blog, the girl in question is going to be a bit different as she has been through a lot more trauma - i.e. likely to be scared to show who she really is rather than just a bit careful to regulate what new people see.

[tsjocool]

I'm not so sure it's logical for a 40+ year old person to appear to have no real identity of her own... not without carrying some major baggage along with her... which she has. She's from rural Iowa. She knew she was gay in high school. She went to college and got involved with a woman. At the same time, she met her would-be husband. They got married because she said "it was what was expected of her". She had three girls. Her husband said he could not relate to girls and therefore was not going to really participate in their lives... which was true. While he provided for the family financial and security-wise, he was not there for any of the three girls or his wife. Tracy raised these three girls on her own. And they're great girls. I'm not exactly sure how long these two were married... but during that time, Tracy got involved with another woman with whom she had a secret affair for 18 years. This woman, while not directly involved with the girls as they grew up, has been someone the girls have known their entire lives.