Akai Batsu to Shiroi Ai - Chapter Forty
WARNING! THIS CHAPTER IS VERY GRAPHIC AND GORY. IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH AND CANNOT HANDLE MUTILATION, DO NOT READ
Hideto swooned as he watched Yoshiki move back and forth in his room, pacing as though he was contemplating something deeply. His arms were restrained in a jacket and his ankles were bounded by a chain, only allowing enough movement for a few steps. It felt…amazing. He was about to get what he wanted. Yoshiki was going to pay.
He looked down at the small security card in his hand and smiled. Everywhere he went, all doctors and nurses seemed to be so careless with their equipment. Even in this place. Maximum security? What a joke.
He swiped the card through the slot and the door clicked open. He walked in, shutting the door behind him and smiling at Yoshiki.
The monster seemed dazed, his eyes glassy as though he were on several different medications. He was a little disappointed Yoshiki was impaired, he wanted the man to put up a fight, he wanted to see the desperation cloud his face as he realized his doom.
“The demon,” Yoshiki mumbled, his eyes wide. He took a step back into the wall, blinking several times as if he thought he was hallucinating. “How…how are you here? Why are you here? Get out!”
Hideto took in a deep breath and grinned. He lifted his shirt, revealing the disassembled pair of scissors held to his skin beneath the elastic band of his hospital pants. He had lifted them off of a nurse and spent an hour twisting and breaking his nails to get them into two pieces. He grabbed the handles and pulled out both pieces. “Hello, Master Hayashi. I hope you have been well?” he said sweetly, stepping forward and spinning the instruments on his index finger.
He watched Yoshiki’s eyes go straight to the blades. “Get away from me!” he screamed, pressing himself against the wall as though he were trying to sink into it.
“Not a chance!” Hideto shouted, bending down and slamming one of the blades into his foot. Yoshiki screamed and reached for his foot, but Hideto backhanded him across the face, stabbing the blade into his cheek. He screamed louder.
He withdrew the blade and sat down on his lap, smiling as the blood spilled out from his cheek and down his lip from within his mouth. “You’re not so powerful anymore, are you, my Master?” he asked, feeling a rage beginning to build within him. He wanted to stay calm and cool during this process, he didn’t want to let his emotions take control. This was to be calm and calculated for maximum pain, to hurt him as severely as he could.
Yoshiki was going to feel the pain he felt for so long.
He took a moment, not looking away from Yoshiki’s pained and bleeding face. In a way, the heavy sedatives were a good thing. It would keep Yoshiki still for the more intricate processes he was planning to put him through.
“Leave me alone,” Yoshiki spat.
“Why? Why should I leave you alone? Huh? Why?” he screamed, pulling the other blade out of his foot.
Yoshiki groaned through the pain and became teary eyed. “Because I am already dead in here! I don’t need a monster like you haunting me in this place!” he screamed. “I have nothing! Nothing! My dolls are gone, my dearest dolls are gone. Can you not see I have nothing?”
Hideto paused and stared at him, seeing true pain in his face. He was actually distraught…the same way Hideto was about not being able to see his collection.
“No!” he shouted, stabbing the blade into Yoshiki’s thigh. He shook his head as the monster screamed. He would not sympathize with this man. He grabbed the free blade and slammed Yoshiki’s head back into the wall. “This is mine.”
Using as much force as he could, he quickly cut four lines around the symbol carved into his forehead, ripping the scar off and revealing the small network of blood vessels and bone beneath the surface. He slipped the bit of skin into his pocket and watching the blood pour from the wound down his face.
Hideto cupped his hand beneath the wound and let some of the blood drip into his hand, rubbing it between his hands and enjoying the warm sticky feeling. He wiped it on Yoshiki’s shirt and smiled at him. “How does it feel?” he asked.
“It…hurts…” Yoshiki gasped.
“Good,” Hideto smiled at him. He looked him up and down, smiling faintly at the pained and gored man before him. He bit his lower lip and frowned, a strange feeling filling him with a strange sense of dread and pain. This was the man who had twisted him and tormented him for years, and now approaching was his demise. It was a very strange feeling, like he was losing a piece of himself.
He pulled the blade out of Yoshiki’s leg and grabbed him by the throat, staring straight into his dark eyes. “You are going to feel the pain I felt, you’re going to be purified-my way,” he growled. He slammed Yoshiki’s head back into the wall and tugged the collar of his shirt, forcing him down onto the ground.
Hideto cut the tie that bound his arms between his legs and promptly yanked down his pants.
“What--?” Yoshiki began before his throat erupted with screams, the pink haired man stabbing the blade in and out of his anus, twisting it and yanking it. It sounded like ripping paper as the blade tore through the sensitive flesh, and the act itself was so diabolical it made Hideto cringe a little.
He flipped Yoshiki over, the man still screaming from the pain tearing through his lower half. Hideto grabbed his penis, pulling the blade slowly over the skin before pressing down halfway down the length, slicing into the thin-skinned organ. The man on the ground screamed even louder. “How does it feel to be purified? Huh? How does it feel for the “master”?” Hideto screamed at him, quickly pulling up the blade and stabbing Yoshiki in the throat.
The man’s eyes grew wide as it dawned on him that he was really going to die. Hideto began stabbing over and over into his throat, the skin ripping up and revealing the network of tubes and veins. He tossed it aside and reached down into the gaping wound, watching the life fade from Yoshiki’s eyes.
He wrapped his hand firmly around the fragile windpipe, feeling it expanding and contracting still as Yoshiki tried to breath. The gurgling man on the ground was overcome with one last look of terror as Hideto ripped his wind pipe out of his neck, the tendons and ligaments popping and snapping.
Gasping for his own breath, he reached into his pocket and withdrew the bit of scarred flesh he had removed from his forehead and placed it into the hole where his throat had been. He then reached a bloodied finger into his mouth, between his top teeth and upper lip, and withdrew a small piece that remained within his collection. The tattoo he had removed from Kaoru.
He smiled down at it and sighed contently. “I did it, Yume-chan, I did it. He’s gone, he will never hurt us again,” he said softly, sitting down on the blood soaked ground. He reached for one of the blades and carefully placed it on his thigh, just above his femoral artery. He no longer had a purpose.
Hideto began to saw away at his own skin, going to a peaceful place in his mind to block out the pain of the dull scissors cutting through his muscle. He pictured Kaoru, back in high school, helping him out in math class. It was such a wonderful image.
He looked down at the bit of flesh and smiled as he felt a sudden spurt of blood shoot out onto his hand. He groaned, the pain catching up to him as he realized he had cut through the large artery. He continued to look at the small tattoo, smiling as he bled out onto the floor.
Finally, he was at peace.
* * * * *
Kyo rolled over in bed, looking at Toshiya and smiling faintly to himself. There he was, the man of his dreams…and his waking hours, for that matter. The man who refused to let him go, the one who never gave up on him, the one who risked it all just to be with him. How could he have been so blind? So foolish as to think Toshiya would be better off without him? Despite all of his disorders, all of his problems, Toshiya still wanted to be with him.
He was the luckiest man on Earth-no, the luckiest person. Neither man nor woman was as lucky as he was.
“Good morning, my little warumono,” Toshiya’s eyes opened and he smiled at Kyo. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah, I did. I slept really well,” Kyo smiled at him and rolled over, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and sitting up. He groaned and stretched his arms above his head and grinned back at Toshiya. The shirtless doctor looked so peaceful and content-aside from the scar on his chest. It bothered Kyo, to see that mark on the two men that meant the most to him.
He sighed and stood up, scratching his head and running his hand through his messy hair. He moved into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror; his skin was still a slight yellow from having overdosed, but all his bruises and abrasions were healing and he was beginning to look like a normal person.
A normal person…
He opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a toothbrush, looking back at the small pack of razors at eye level. How badly he just wanted to grab on, just hold on to it so he could have the safety of knowing it was there. Kyo shook his head, swallowing hard and fighting back the threat of tears. He was going to get better, he was going to fight it. Toshiya was counting on him.
He began to brush his teeth, continuing to stare at the razors, unblinking. It was no longer about his needs and wants, Toshiya was involved now. He was going to stay on the right path, he wasn’t going to give in again. He couldn’t. He couldn’t disappoint Toshiya like that again.
He spit out the toothpaste and rinsed the brush under the faucet, still staring at the blades. It was almost as if they were calling to him, telling him to be rid of that little bit of stress and anxiety that was holding him back-and the fight to not use them on himself was only adding to that stress.
With a heavy feeling in his heart, he shut the cabinet and looked at his own reflection, realizing that despite his efforts he had begun to cry. He reached up and touched the surreal tears, looking down at his moistened fingers in awe. He didn’t think it would be this hard…
Kyo wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and moved into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed and bowing his head to gather himself. He had to fight it with every ounce of himself. He was strong, he had coping mechanisms…he could do it. He took in an unsteady breath and stood up, moving over to the shopping bags from the previous day and pulling out a short sleeved t-shirt and jeans.
He quickly dressed himself, looking down at his outfit and smiling. Fucking Bou, saying that his clothes were for teenagers. He looked just fine in them.
“You’re ready to go visit your brother?” Toshiya poked his head back into the room, smiling at the outfit. “You look like a teenager.”
“Shut up,” Kyo couldn’t hide his smile. “Yeah, I’m ready to go.”
Kyo felt very anxious as he walked back into the hospital, looking around frantically as though the guards would jump on him and give him a shot of Ativan. He had only been gone for a little bit, maybe they would think he had escaped? His hands tightened around the bag of donuts he was carrying in for all the patients and he glanced nervously at Toshiya.
“They won’t try to take me back, will they?” he asked in a low voice, eyeing a nurse he had once hit in the face.
“No, they won’t, don’t be silly,” Toshiya chuckled and wrapped an arm over his shoulders. “Don’t worry, just relax. And move faster, we want to catch them before their group sessions start.”
Kyo took in a deep breath as they turned into the ESMS inpatient ward, Toshiya sliding his ID card into the scanner so the door would open. He stepped into the hallway, the door locking behind them. Kyo looked back at it, wondering for a moment if it would ever open for him again.
“Oh my God, what happened here?” Toshiya asked, peeking over the desk.
Kyo stood up on the balls of his feet and saw the ground behind the desk covered in dried blood. He moved into the entertainment room and looked at the patients sitting in there. “What happened?” he asked.
“Uh, some crazy guy broke in here last night and killed a bunch of nurses. He hurt Bou and Kaoru pretty bad too,” Aiji said. “Oh, and hi Kyo, it’s good to see you.”
“Same,” Kyo said frantically, moving over to his brother’s room. He opened the shut door. “Kaoru? Are you okay?”
He stopped mid stride into the room, dropping the bag of donuts and staring wide eyed at the spectacle before him. Toshiya moved in behind him and stopped as well, a small sound escaping his throat as though he were going to say something.
Kaoru was pressed up against the wall, Bou on top of him and kissing him fiercely as though they were caught up in the moment. Bou jerked back and looked wildly for a moment before spotting Kyo and Toshiya. “Hi guys!” he said, bouncing up as though nothing had happened and moving over to Kyo first. He hugged him and bent down, picking up the bag of donuts and looking in it. “Are these for us?”
“Uh…yeah…” Toshiya responded slowly.
“Awesome!” Bou bounced over to Kaoru’s bed and jumped onto it, pulling out a chocolate donut and handing the bag to Kaoru. “Fucking donut-gasm, man. Thanks!”
Kyo silently moved over to the empty bed and sat down, staring at Kaoru. “Well, this is surprising!” he finally exclaimed with a grin. “Does someone care to explain this one to me?”
Kaoru shrugged, still pressed against the wall as though he were afraid to move. “It just…happened,” he said uncertainly.
“I made the first move,” Bou said with his mouth full of donut.
“So…is this an actual relationship or just fucking around out of boredom?” Kyo asked, looking between the two of them.
“Well, I’d like to think it’s an actual relationship…but hell, that’s up to this guy,” Bou said, pointing to Kaoru.
“It’s a relationship,” Kaoru said softly, finally moving from being mashed up against the wall and sitting at the edge of the bed. He folded his hands and hung his head slightly.
“Well, that’s good that you have someone,” Toshiya finally said, moving over and sitting next to Kyo. He wrapped an arm around him and smiled.
Kyo looked at his brother for a long time, smiling faintly as he realized that despite his brother dating someone half his age, it was the best thing that could have happened to him. That meant that Yoshiki was no longer number one in his mind, it meant that he would no longer have to worry about his brother going back to that monster.
This day could not get any better.
“So, are you two alright? We heard you were attacked,” Toshiya asked, looking for marks or wounds on them.
“Yeah, we’re fine, just a little sore. I’m gonna have some rockin’ scars on my back though,” Bou turned around and lifted up his shirt, revealing the grotesque array of gashes and stitches. “Check that shit out, pretty gross huh? They put us on some painkillers and I have to say that I am on cloud-fucking-nine.”
Kaoru lifted his shirt a little to reveal that he had similar wounds on his chest. “Who attacked?” Kyo asked.
“Some crazy pink haired guy, he had cool hair but he was out of his fucking mind,” Bou shrugged. “What was his name? Hideto?”
“Yeah,” Kaoru nodded. He looked at Kyo and Toshiya. “They moved him to Sasayaki this morning. Apparently he skinned and mutilated a guard, and killed all the nurses and a doctor.”
Kyo sighed. “Well, at least he will no longer be here.”
“Yeah…” Toshiya added, his eyes seeming hazy. Kyo looked at him, pursing his lips. Just the mention of Sasayaki made something tick inside of Toshiya and he would revert back to the memory of what had happened to him.
“Well, if you two love birds can break away from each other, let’s go take these donuts to the rest of the guys, yeah?” Kyo said, clapping his hands loudly to snap Toshiya out of his daze and bring him back. He forced away the sadness that he felt from the look on his face, knowing that the memory of what had happened to him was plaguing him again. It tore Kyo apart to know that the things that haunted him so greatly were now among the things that Toshiya was haunted by.
He wondered for a moment if he had never met Toshiya…would he still be the normal, strong doctor that he always had been?
Or was fate just a bitch?
“Yeah, I’m sure Rame and Reita will love to see Kyo again,” Bou said, standing up and fixing his clothes; he jammed the rest of the donut into his mouth and grinned grossly.
“Close your mouth, you little brat. I can kick your ass now that I’m not a patient here,” Kyo laughed.
Kaoru grabbed a donut and handed the bag back to Kyo. “Thanks for bringing those,” he said before taking a bite.
“No problem, I can’t leave my favorite brother to sit here and rot to hospital food,” he said, smiling even wider as he watched Kaoru eat. He was off his hunger strike. That meant the hold was gone, Yoshiki’s hold on his older brother was gone. If they both could get better, it would be like old times. Back when they were kids.
Those were the best memories of his life.
“Oh, and about Bou-“
“No need to explain, I understand. He’s a good kid, and if you two have feelings for each other then who am I to stop you? There are more taboo things,” Kyo shrugged, walking out of the room.
“Yeah, like a doctor and his patient getting it on,” Toshiya laughed.
“Bow-chicka-wow-wow!” Bou laughed, pelvic thrusting the air as he walked into the entertainment room. “Our favorite person in the world, Sir Kyo is back!”
“Oh god,” Rame groaned from behind them.
Kyo spun around and grabbed him, kissing him sloppily on the cheek. “Don’t run, sexy thang! We have donuts, and damn are the good!” he laughed, pushing the homophobic boy into the room. “Everyone grab one, it’s the best food you’ll get in here.”
He tossed the bag to Aiji. “Thanks Kyo,” he said with a smile, taking one out and handing the bag to Reita.
“Thanks,” he mumbled as he handed the bag to Rame.
“So, where is Die?” Kyo asked, putting his hands on his hips and looking around. “And what about skeletor? I miss him.”
They all looked at each other and Aiji smirked. “Um, he’s having a meeting with his doctor. That is why group hasn’t started yet…” he said carefully, not wanting to let Rame and Reita in on the inside information.
“Oh yes!” Bou rushed out of the room and down the hall.
“What is he going to do?” Kaoru asked.
“Bou! What the fuck?” came a loud cry, followed by insanely high pitched laughter.
“That’s what he was going to do,” Kyo grinned, peeking down the hall as Bou stumbled out of the room, holding his side as he laughed.
“I’m gonna pee!” he cried, his eyes watering and his face twisted in painful laughter.
Kyo laughed and wrapped an arm around his brother. “You got yourself a good one,” he grinned and kissed his brother on the cheek.
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Hideto swooned as he watched Yoshiki move back and forth in his room, pacing as though he was contemplating something deeply. His arms were restrained in a jacket and his ankles were bounded by a chain, only allowing enough movement for a few steps. It felt…amazing. He was about to get what he wanted. Yoshiki was going to pay.
He looked down at the small security card in his hand and smiled. Everywhere he went, all doctors and nurses seemed to be so careless with their equipment. Even in this place. Maximum security? What a joke.
He swiped the card through the slot and the door clicked open. He walked in, shutting the door behind him and smiling at Yoshiki.
The monster seemed dazed, his eyes glassy as though he were on several different medications. He was a little disappointed Yoshiki was impaired, he wanted the man to put up a fight, he wanted to see the desperation cloud his face as he realized his doom.
“The demon,” Yoshiki mumbled, his eyes wide. He took a step back into the wall, blinking several times as if he thought he was hallucinating. “How…how are you here? Why are you here? Get out!”
Hideto took in a deep breath and grinned. He lifted his shirt, revealing the disassembled pair of scissors held to his skin beneath the elastic band of his hospital pants. He had lifted them off of a nurse and spent an hour twisting and breaking his nails to get them into two pieces. He grabbed the handles and pulled out both pieces. “Hello, Master Hayashi. I hope you have been well?” he said sweetly, stepping forward and spinning the instruments on his index finger.
He watched Yoshiki’s eyes go straight to the blades. “Get away from me!” he screamed, pressing himself against the wall as though he were trying to sink into it.
“Not a chance!” Hideto shouted, bending down and slamming one of the blades into his foot. Yoshiki screamed and reached for his foot, but Hideto backhanded him across the face, stabbing the blade into his cheek. He screamed louder.
He withdrew the blade and sat down on his lap, smiling as the blood spilled out from his cheek and down his lip from within his mouth. “You’re not so powerful anymore, are you, my Master?” he asked, feeling a rage beginning to build within him. He wanted to stay calm and cool during this process, he didn’t want to let his emotions take control. This was to be calm and calculated for maximum pain, to hurt him as severely as he could.
Yoshiki was going to feel the pain he felt for so long.
He took a moment, not looking away from Yoshiki’s pained and bleeding face. In a way, the heavy sedatives were a good thing. It would keep Yoshiki still for the more intricate processes he was planning to put him through.
“Leave me alone,” Yoshiki spat.
“Why? Why should I leave you alone? Huh? Why?” he screamed, pulling the other blade out of his foot.
Yoshiki groaned through the pain and became teary eyed. “Because I am already dead in here! I don’t need a monster like you haunting me in this place!” he screamed. “I have nothing! Nothing! My dolls are gone, my dearest dolls are gone. Can you not see I have nothing?”
Hideto paused and stared at him, seeing true pain in his face. He was actually distraught…the same way Hideto was about not being able to see his collection.
“No!” he shouted, stabbing the blade into Yoshiki’s thigh. He shook his head as the monster screamed. He would not sympathize with this man. He grabbed the free blade and slammed Yoshiki’s head back into the wall. “This is mine.”
Using as much force as he could, he quickly cut four lines around the symbol carved into his forehead, ripping the scar off and revealing the small network of blood vessels and bone beneath the surface. He slipped the bit of skin into his pocket and watching the blood pour from the wound down his face.
Hideto cupped his hand beneath the wound and let some of the blood drip into his hand, rubbing it between his hands and enjoying the warm sticky feeling. He wiped it on Yoshiki’s shirt and smiled at him. “How does it feel?” he asked.
“It…hurts…” Yoshiki gasped.
“Good,” Hideto smiled at him. He looked him up and down, smiling faintly at the pained and gored man before him. He bit his lower lip and frowned, a strange feeling filling him with a strange sense of dread and pain. This was the man who had twisted him and tormented him for years, and now approaching was his demise. It was a very strange feeling, like he was losing a piece of himself.
He pulled the blade out of Yoshiki’s leg and grabbed him by the throat, staring straight into his dark eyes. “You are going to feel the pain I felt, you’re going to be purified-my way,” he growled. He slammed Yoshiki’s head back into the wall and tugged the collar of his shirt, forcing him down onto the ground.
Hideto cut the tie that bound his arms between his legs and promptly yanked down his pants.
“What--?” Yoshiki began before his throat erupted with screams, the pink haired man stabbing the blade in and out of his anus, twisting it and yanking it. It sounded like ripping paper as the blade tore through the sensitive flesh, and the act itself was so diabolical it made Hideto cringe a little.
He flipped Yoshiki over, the man still screaming from the pain tearing through his lower half. Hideto grabbed his penis, pulling the blade slowly over the skin before pressing down halfway down the length, slicing into the thin-skinned organ. The man on the ground screamed even louder. “How does it feel to be purified? Huh? How does it feel for the “master”?” Hideto screamed at him, quickly pulling up the blade and stabbing Yoshiki in the throat.
The man’s eyes grew wide as it dawned on him that he was really going to die. Hideto began stabbing over and over into his throat, the skin ripping up and revealing the network of tubes and veins. He tossed it aside and reached down into the gaping wound, watching the life fade from Yoshiki’s eyes.
He wrapped his hand firmly around the fragile windpipe, feeling it expanding and contracting still as Yoshiki tried to breath. The gurgling man on the ground was overcome with one last look of terror as Hideto ripped his wind pipe out of his neck, the tendons and ligaments popping and snapping.
Gasping for his own breath, he reached into his pocket and withdrew the bit of scarred flesh he had removed from his forehead and placed it into the hole where his throat had been. He then reached a bloodied finger into his mouth, between his top teeth and upper lip, and withdrew a small piece that remained within his collection. The tattoo he had removed from Kaoru.
He smiled down at it and sighed contently. “I did it, Yume-chan, I did it. He’s gone, he will never hurt us again,” he said softly, sitting down on the blood soaked ground. He reached for one of the blades and carefully placed it on his thigh, just above his femoral artery. He no longer had a purpose.
Hideto began to saw away at his own skin, going to a peaceful place in his mind to block out the pain of the dull scissors cutting through his muscle. He pictured Kaoru, back in high school, helping him out in math class. It was such a wonderful image.
He looked down at the bit of flesh and smiled as he felt a sudden spurt of blood shoot out onto his hand. He groaned, the pain catching up to him as he realized he had cut through the large artery. He continued to look at the small tattoo, smiling as he bled out onto the floor.
Finally, he was at peace.
* * * * *
Kyo rolled over in bed, looking at Toshiya and smiling faintly to himself. There he was, the man of his dreams…and his waking hours, for that matter. The man who refused to let him go, the one who never gave up on him, the one who risked it all just to be with him. How could he have been so blind? So foolish as to think Toshiya would be better off without him? Despite all of his disorders, all of his problems, Toshiya still wanted to be with him.
He was the luckiest man on Earth-no, the luckiest person. Neither man nor woman was as lucky as he was.
“Good morning, my little warumono,” Toshiya’s eyes opened and he smiled at Kyo. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah, I did. I slept really well,” Kyo smiled at him and rolled over, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and sitting up. He groaned and stretched his arms above his head and grinned back at Toshiya. The shirtless doctor looked so peaceful and content-aside from the scar on his chest. It bothered Kyo, to see that mark on the two men that meant the most to him.
He sighed and stood up, scratching his head and running his hand through his messy hair. He moved into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror; his skin was still a slight yellow from having overdosed, but all his bruises and abrasions were healing and he was beginning to look like a normal person.
A normal person…
He opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a toothbrush, looking back at the small pack of razors at eye level. How badly he just wanted to grab on, just hold on to it so he could have the safety of knowing it was there. Kyo shook his head, swallowing hard and fighting back the threat of tears. He was going to get better, he was going to fight it. Toshiya was counting on him.
He began to brush his teeth, continuing to stare at the razors, unblinking. It was no longer about his needs and wants, Toshiya was involved now. He was going to stay on the right path, he wasn’t going to give in again. He couldn’t. He couldn’t disappoint Toshiya like that again.
He spit out the toothpaste and rinsed the brush under the faucet, still staring at the blades. It was almost as if they were calling to him, telling him to be rid of that little bit of stress and anxiety that was holding him back-and the fight to not use them on himself was only adding to that stress.
With a heavy feeling in his heart, he shut the cabinet and looked at his own reflection, realizing that despite his efforts he had begun to cry. He reached up and touched the surreal tears, looking down at his moistened fingers in awe. He didn’t think it would be this hard…
Kyo wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and moved into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed and bowing his head to gather himself. He had to fight it with every ounce of himself. He was strong, he had coping mechanisms…he could do it. He took in an unsteady breath and stood up, moving over to the shopping bags from the previous day and pulling out a short sleeved t-shirt and jeans.
He quickly dressed himself, looking down at his outfit and smiling. Fucking Bou, saying that his clothes were for teenagers. He looked just fine in them.
“You’re ready to go visit your brother?” Toshiya poked his head back into the room, smiling at the outfit. “You look like a teenager.”
“Shut up,” Kyo couldn’t hide his smile. “Yeah, I’m ready to go.”
Kyo felt very anxious as he walked back into the hospital, looking around frantically as though the guards would jump on him and give him a shot of Ativan. He had only been gone for a little bit, maybe they would think he had escaped? His hands tightened around the bag of donuts he was carrying in for all the patients and he glanced nervously at Toshiya.
“They won’t try to take me back, will they?” he asked in a low voice, eyeing a nurse he had once hit in the face.
“No, they won’t, don’t be silly,” Toshiya chuckled and wrapped an arm over his shoulders. “Don’t worry, just relax. And move faster, we want to catch them before their group sessions start.”
Kyo took in a deep breath as they turned into the ESMS inpatient ward, Toshiya sliding his ID card into the scanner so the door would open. He stepped into the hallway, the door locking behind them. Kyo looked back at it, wondering for a moment if it would ever open for him again.
“Oh my God, what happened here?” Toshiya asked, peeking over the desk.
Kyo stood up on the balls of his feet and saw the ground behind the desk covered in dried blood. He moved into the entertainment room and looked at the patients sitting in there. “What happened?” he asked.
“Uh, some crazy guy broke in here last night and killed a bunch of nurses. He hurt Bou and Kaoru pretty bad too,” Aiji said. “Oh, and hi Kyo, it’s good to see you.”
“Same,” Kyo said frantically, moving over to his brother’s room. He opened the shut door. “Kaoru? Are you okay?”
He stopped mid stride into the room, dropping the bag of donuts and staring wide eyed at the spectacle before him. Toshiya moved in behind him and stopped as well, a small sound escaping his throat as though he were going to say something.
Kaoru was pressed up against the wall, Bou on top of him and kissing him fiercely as though they were caught up in the moment. Bou jerked back and looked wildly for a moment before spotting Kyo and Toshiya. “Hi guys!” he said, bouncing up as though nothing had happened and moving over to Kyo first. He hugged him and bent down, picking up the bag of donuts and looking in it. “Are these for us?”
“Uh…yeah…” Toshiya responded slowly.
“Awesome!” Bou bounced over to Kaoru’s bed and jumped onto it, pulling out a chocolate donut and handing the bag to Kaoru. “Fucking donut-gasm, man. Thanks!”
Kyo silently moved over to the empty bed and sat down, staring at Kaoru. “Well, this is surprising!” he finally exclaimed with a grin. “Does someone care to explain this one to me?”
Kaoru shrugged, still pressed against the wall as though he were afraid to move. “It just…happened,” he said uncertainly.
“I made the first move,” Bou said with his mouth full of donut.
“So…is this an actual relationship or just fucking around out of boredom?” Kyo asked, looking between the two of them.
“Well, I’d like to think it’s an actual relationship…but hell, that’s up to this guy,” Bou said, pointing to Kaoru.
“It’s a relationship,” Kaoru said softly, finally moving from being mashed up against the wall and sitting at the edge of the bed. He folded his hands and hung his head slightly.
“Well, that’s good that you have someone,” Toshiya finally said, moving over and sitting next to Kyo. He wrapped an arm around him and smiled.
Kyo looked at his brother for a long time, smiling faintly as he realized that despite his brother dating someone half his age, it was the best thing that could have happened to him. That meant that Yoshiki was no longer number one in his mind, it meant that he would no longer have to worry about his brother going back to that monster.
This day could not get any better.
“So, are you two alright? We heard you were attacked,” Toshiya asked, looking for marks or wounds on them.
“Yeah, we’re fine, just a little sore. I’m gonna have some rockin’ scars on my back though,” Bou turned around and lifted up his shirt, revealing the grotesque array of gashes and stitches. “Check that shit out, pretty gross huh? They put us on some painkillers and I have to say that I am on cloud-fucking-nine.”
Kaoru lifted his shirt a little to reveal that he had similar wounds on his chest. “Who attacked?” Kyo asked.
“Some crazy pink haired guy, he had cool hair but he was out of his fucking mind,” Bou shrugged. “What was his name? Hideto?”
“Yeah,” Kaoru nodded. He looked at Kyo and Toshiya. “They moved him to Sasayaki this morning. Apparently he skinned and mutilated a guard, and killed all the nurses and a doctor.”
Kyo sighed. “Well, at least he will no longer be here.”
“Yeah…” Toshiya added, his eyes seeming hazy. Kyo looked at him, pursing his lips. Just the mention of Sasayaki made something tick inside of Toshiya and he would revert back to the memory of what had happened to him.
“Well, if you two love birds can break away from each other, let’s go take these donuts to the rest of the guys, yeah?” Kyo said, clapping his hands loudly to snap Toshiya out of his daze and bring him back. He forced away the sadness that he felt from the look on his face, knowing that the memory of what had happened to him was plaguing him again. It tore Kyo apart to know that the things that haunted him so greatly were now among the things that Toshiya was haunted by.
He wondered for a moment if he had never met Toshiya…would he still be the normal, strong doctor that he always had been?
Or was fate just a bitch?
“Yeah, I’m sure Rame and Reita will love to see Kyo again,” Bou said, standing up and fixing his clothes; he jammed the rest of the donut into his mouth and grinned grossly.
“Close your mouth, you little brat. I can kick your ass now that I’m not a patient here,” Kyo laughed.
Kaoru grabbed a donut and handed the bag back to Kyo. “Thanks for bringing those,” he said before taking a bite.
“No problem, I can’t leave my favorite brother to sit here and rot to hospital food,” he said, smiling even wider as he watched Kaoru eat. He was off his hunger strike. That meant the hold was gone, Yoshiki’s hold on his older brother was gone. If they both could get better, it would be like old times. Back when they were kids.
Those were the best memories of his life.
“Oh, and about Bou-“
“No need to explain, I understand. He’s a good kid, and if you two have feelings for each other then who am I to stop you? There are more taboo things,” Kyo shrugged, walking out of the room.
“Yeah, like a doctor and his patient getting it on,” Toshiya laughed.
“Bow-chicka-wow-wow!” Bou laughed, pelvic thrusting the air as he walked into the entertainment room. “Our favorite person in the world, Sir Kyo is back!”
“Oh god,” Rame groaned from behind them.
Kyo spun around and grabbed him, kissing him sloppily on the cheek. “Don’t run, sexy thang! We have donuts, and damn are the good!” he laughed, pushing the homophobic boy into the room. “Everyone grab one, it’s the best food you’ll get in here.”
He tossed the bag to Aiji. “Thanks Kyo,” he said with a smile, taking one out and handing the bag to Reita.
“Thanks,” he mumbled as he handed the bag to Rame.
“So, where is Die?” Kyo asked, putting his hands on his hips and looking around. “And what about skeletor? I miss him.”
They all looked at each other and Aiji smirked. “Um, he’s having a meeting with his doctor. That is why group hasn’t started yet…” he said carefully, not wanting to let Rame and Reita in on the inside information.
“Oh yes!” Bou rushed out of the room and down the hall.
“What is he going to do?” Kaoru asked.
“Bou! What the fuck?” came a loud cry, followed by insanely high pitched laughter.
“That’s what he was going to do,” Kyo grinned, peeking down the hall as Bou stumbled out of the room, holding his side as he laughed.
“I’m gonna pee!” he cried, his eyes watering and his face twisted in painful laughter.
Kyo laughed and wrapped an arm around his brother. “You got yourself a good one,” he grinned and kissed his brother on the cheek.
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