Into the Darkness ~Chapter 1~

[tsu]

Please read all the warnings, and bear in mind that they are there for a reason.
There is a strong possibility that this will seriously fuck with your brain and screw with your emotions. Really. You've been more than warned.

Title: Into the Darkness ~Chapter 1~
Author:

Comments

[mikkeneko]

Your first fic post? Is this your first fic? It has quite a lot of promise. Your mechanics are good, and you set up some excellent visuals. It's a very scary scene for Roy you've described, with Ed's life depending on him. Very sad the way they can be used against each other. :( I feel like things will get worse before they get better, but I'm holding out hope for a happy ending.

Keep on writing, don't give up!

[tsu]

I feel so loved! and bad that I've been out of comission for a week. I'll have more of this up later today.

[cryogenia]

O_O Wow, this is brutal. You do in fact throw us right into the action, and Roy's pain is very visceral. I also love the way these two can be used against each other...poor Roy. He doesn't even know if Ed is even alive, does he... D:

One note of concrit - the jump into the flashback is a bit harsh. You might do well to get rid of the explicit time marker (around a month ago), because that sort of cut is a bit jarring f^^; But otherwise, I'm certainly eager to see where this is going...who has them...what's going to happen...argh!

More?

[tsu]

More. A lot more. Its hard to get back into the swing of writing when I've been out of it for so long, I appreciate the concrit.

[threeonetwo]

That was really good. A bit creepy, but good! You write well. I wanna see what happens next, ahhgh. xD

[akari_hayashi]

Oh poor Roy and Ed. I normally don't really like dark fics, but this seems interesting enough so please keep writing!

[hopeonsun]

I love dark fics... can't wait for this one to continue! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥