(no subject)
Well, no snow, but damn is it cold out there....and thus starts the half year period when I really hate being outside.
(eat, gain weight, exercise, stop smoking....yes, yes, i know....)
Although, in doing more shooting recently, I have more incentive to become stronger, as aside from needing to be so to more effectively wield my dual revolvers, it'd help with "un-benched" rifle use as well. Right now I'm alright; good enough to keep my shots within an 8" circle at 200 yards, but still, I want tighter groupings. I also need to keep practicing with handguns, as I've a ways to go before I'm as good as I want to be there, and after elk season I likely will.
(if only i could make a living as a wandering gunslinger....actually no, I'm not quick enough, especially with those beasts, to fast draw, so maybe....armed vigilante? the way things are going in this country, who knows, i may not get paid for it exactly, but then, the spoils afterward would be worth something. how unfortunate is it that were something truly catastrophic to happen that negated the world as we know it....I would actually rise significantly in worth....as opposed to now, being very little....and perhaps that's why I'm still here.)
Actually, assuming anyone would survive something to such an apocalyptic degree, it wouldn't be a bad life....in the sense that you'd have total freedom and liberty (at the expense of many avenues we have to exercise such freedoms admittedly) and I for one would never starve (having already gun and ammunition at my disposal....plus i hear human meat taste like pork) nor really need too much else. Solar stills for water, shelled out wreckage for shelter....without the impositions of society constantly being jammed down ones throat, life might actually take on a very peaceful aspect. Of course there are many things we'd all have to learn to live without, but really, it wouldn't be SO bad; 'like living hundreds of years ago. And yes, life would be shorter I'm sure, at least the life expectancy would be less, and yes, you would have to work more to sustain yourself as there'd be no society to leach from, but, again....compared to the rubber stamped life of "you're born, you grow up, are tossed into the world were money rules and you're only worth is what others can use, likely get married and have kids only further indebting yourself to the machine, continue to work all your life possibly earning a bit more for a "luxury" here and there, cling to family and friends since no one else cares about nor has use for you after you hit a certain age, and then die. And that is our life. Cut, dry, and boring. Always under the thumb of someone elses agenda....unless you're independently wealthy enough to remove yourself from it all, and let the world do as it will, but then, what meaning beyond simply existing and enjoying your life would there be? And if we are only suppose to enjoy life, and that's it....then we are all also guilty of standing in the way of the happiness of everyone else. Plus, how dare you chastise rapist and murders, which I'm sure (hopefully) you do; they're just following the same path you are in a different way....you hypocrite....
Aeryk mentioned a while back that the human race is a lot like a virus, which is true. However by that definition, for the "greater good", we should all be killing each other....which many of us do. Perhaps the reason we do, and reason we hate people to the point of killing them is because we can recognize this aspect about ourselves, and on a level none of use are at all aware of, the powers that be are really pitting us against one another with hopes that we will die off and allow the natural harmony of things to continue. I suppose if one viewed the earth, or perhaps the cumulative essence of life thereon, to be cognitive on some level, that would make sense. As if the very world is whispering tones of destruction and death to us, with hopes that the virus will die off, allowing the world to recuperate some.
There are so many interesting theories regarding our lives and existence....and I like to think I've touched on quite a few, even in my short time here thus far. However the one theory I can't accept is that life is truly meaningless, for were that the case, I would be truly, truly evil. Of course, it's the not knowing that tips the scale, so better to err on the side of good, right? But then, that would require the devaluation of all aspects and notions of good currently in effect, as what's the point in helping another person when it requires resources you could have yourself used? Yet people do so constantly. And no, it's not simply a matter of not wanting to burn in hell, or conversely wanting to go to heaven, there is something more within all of us (and i say this knowing at least a few people without my spirituality who are genuinely good people, and who help others, with no benefit to themselves. and no, feeling happy for helping someone is not an incentive. the same "good" chords are struck when one person sees another in danger and goes to help. Putting ones own life in danger to help someone else? That's certifiably insane to one with no purpose in life....and yet, I know of those that have done that very thing, and still profess their live to otherwise have been an "accident of the universe" (as my Dad likes to put it).
Could it be that, in not having very much to deal with in my life, I've gained a perspective that so many others never gain? I'll answer that myself by saying yes, I think that's exactly it. 'Not to say that there aren't other factors certainly, but still, I've yet to be satisfied with anyone's input contradicting there being a purpose in life. We may not know what it is, but there is one. Through simple observation of how we human beings act (ignoring what we say, since words are generally premeditated, or otherwise speak on a basic level devoid of higher thought....either way, the things we say....especially, for instance, the happy self motivating things I try to rally myself with....are not always as we feel. Be it caused by pride in not wanting to admit a weakness, or whimsy in wanting to be accountable, or whatever reasons we have to do the things we do, most people are not as one with themselves as they act or profess to be. And of course, the more capable a human being is, the more they assume they're right all the time, since no one ever corrects them....as opposed to stupid people like me who others tend to simply ignore....though of course, in my mind, I'm like unto (not actually one, obviously) of a prophet with information others overlook....unfortunately, in this modern age, soothsayers are all pretty much regarded as crazy. Which maybe I am, since there are times I agree with both sides of a thing. Plus I get off track a lot, like right now.
You know, maybe there is no point to life, and human beings are simply so afraid of losing their life, that they will bow and comply when faced with opposition, rather than fight and overcome it. That would explain the shitty governments of the world, as I already fear that anymore the only ones who will rise to any form of power are those who have crushed others along the way....in my opinion, NOT someone that should be in charge of anything, let alone....everything. Are there leaders anymore? One who views them self as a part of the force they govern, rather than a mere king of slaves which seems to be the goal of everyone seeking power anymore.
Then there's me. Most people would have thousands upon thousands of selfish materialistic requests were they to, say, win the lottery. Sure, such things cross my mind too, but if I actually had that much money at my disposal....hmm....it'd be difficult choice between wanting to help as many people as I could with basic needs (maybe open a huge homeless shelter or something), or buying a toy on the black market that would allow me to be a world player....a player others would have to listen to....of course, there's only so long a person can walk around with a firework in their pocket before wanting to torch the thing off....which I would....of course I would; you don't start a post the way I did without wanting to watch the world burn on some level. Some level. It would be more inconvenient to destroy everything and rebuild, knowing that at some point down the road someone else will have to do it all over again, as opposed to fix it now. But, that's the question. Can we fix it? Obviously not if we continue to do things as they've been done....and it doesn't really look like anything is truly changing....so were I to place a bet, I'd say we'd be better of saving millions from starvation, depression and sadness in vaporizing them in an instant, rather than drag our downfall out to the point that everyone feels it as they continually do. Since we all die anyway, and as many of us don't believe there's any point to life (and for those that do, the true value of life is only realized upon death), why not do the humane thing and kill everyone, all at once, quick and painlessly?
You can't take anything with you, and if oblivion truly waits for us after this coil, then everything you've experienced and will experience is meaningless. Your want to live matters then equally as much as my want to slake my boredom....and there's really only one answer to solve all of everything evenly.
Yet here I remain. By my inaction I only really label myself as a hypocrite, repeatedly, for wanting to do more and yet never doing so. And had I the faith I profess, I would have the reason I seek to act. My problem is that I try to evaluate what the world wants of me, thus spending all of my time doing nothing and not acting because I might only be doing more harm than good. So I do nothing, waiting for people to have a use for me, and otherwise spending many days alone, unproductive. At some point I know I'll get bored of it all, and finally risk damaging others for my own personal advancement....but damned if pitting others against myself doesn't strike many a chord within me. I refuse to hurt innocence and good, and if I don't know a person....like the billions I don't....better to, again, err on the side of good.
But enough of this, I've gotten my point across. It's doubtful anyone will read this, let alone for it to have an effect. But then, that's really for the best, for if people really pondered the world around them as much as I do, they probably be just as unhappy with things as I am....so....ignorance is bliss. Meaning....my talking about all of this is intentionally trying to cause harm to others....see? 'Can't even keep to my word over the course of a single lj post. Ha! Oh well, i'm bored of writing, so this is the end.
(eat, gain weight, exercise, stop smoking....yes, yes, i know....)
Although, in doing more shooting recently, I have more incentive to become stronger, as aside from needing to be so to more effectively wield my dual revolvers, it'd help with "un-benched" rifle use as well. Right now I'm alright; good enough to keep my shots within an 8" circle at 200 yards, but still, I want tighter groupings. I also need to keep practicing with handguns, as I've a ways to go before I'm as good as I want to be there, and after elk season I likely will.
(if only i could make a living as a wandering gunslinger....actually no, I'm not quick enough, especially with those beasts, to fast draw, so maybe....armed vigilante? the way things are going in this country, who knows, i may not get paid for it exactly, but then, the spoils afterward would be worth something. how unfortunate is it that were something truly catastrophic to happen that negated the world as we know it....I would actually rise significantly in worth....as opposed to now, being very little....and perhaps that's why I'm still here.)
Actually, assuming anyone would survive something to such an apocalyptic degree, it wouldn't be a bad life....in the sense that you'd have total freedom and liberty (at the expense of many avenues we have to exercise such freedoms admittedly) and I for one would never starve (having already gun and ammunition at my disposal....plus i hear human meat taste like pork) nor really need too much else. Solar stills for water, shelled out wreckage for shelter....without the impositions of society constantly being jammed down ones throat, life might actually take on a very peaceful aspect. Of course there are many things we'd all have to learn to live without, but really, it wouldn't be SO bad; 'like living hundreds of years ago. And yes, life would be shorter I'm sure, at least the life expectancy would be less, and yes, you would have to work more to sustain yourself as there'd be no society to leach from, but, again....compared to the rubber stamped life of "you're born, you grow up, are tossed into the world were money rules and you're only worth is what others can use, likely get married and have kids only further indebting yourself to the machine, continue to work all your life possibly earning a bit more for a "luxury" here and there, cling to family and friends since no one else cares about nor has use for you after you hit a certain age, and then die. And that is our life. Cut, dry, and boring. Always under the thumb of someone elses agenda....unless you're independently wealthy enough to remove yourself from it all, and let the world do as it will, but then, what meaning beyond simply existing and enjoying your life would there be? And if we are only suppose to enjoy life, and that's it....then we are all also guilty of standing in the way of the happiness of everyone else. Plus, how dare you chastise rapist and murders, which I'm sure (hopefully) you do; they're just following the same path you are in a different way....you hypocrite....
Aeryk mentioned a while back that the human race is a lot like a virus, which is true. However by that definition, for the "greater good", we should all be killing each other....which many of us do. Perhaps the reason we do, and reason we hate people to the point of killing them is because we can recognize this aspect about ourselves, and on a level none of use are at all aware of, the powers that be are really pitting us against one another with hopes that we will die off and allow the natural harmony of things to continue. I suppose if one viewed the earth, or perhaps the cumulative essence of life thereon, to be cognitive on some level, that would make sense. As if the very world is whispering tones of destruction and death to us, with hopes that the virus will die off, allowing the world to recuperate some.
There are so many interesting theories regarding our lives and existence....and I like to think I've touched on quite a few, even in my short time here thus far. However the one theory I can't accept is that life is truly meaningless, for were that the case, I would be truly, truly evil. Of course, it's the not knowing that tips the scale, so better to err on the side of good, right? But then, that would require the devaluation of all aspects and notions of good currently in effect, as what's the point in helping another person when it requires resources you could have yourself used? Yet people do so constantly. And no, it's not simply a matter of not wanting to burn in hell, or conversely wanting to go to heaven, there is something more within all of us (and i say this knowing at least a few people without my spirituality who are genuinely good people, and who help others, with no benefit to themselves. and no, feeling happy for helping someone is not an incentive. the same "good" chords are struck when one person sees another in danger and goes to help. Putting ones own life in danger to help someone else? That's certifiably insane to one with no purpose in life....and yet, I know of those that have done that very thing, and still profess their live to otherwise have been an "accident of the universe" (as my Dad likes to put it).
Could it be that, in not having very much to deal with in my life, I've gained a perspective that so many others never gain? I'll answer that myself by saying yes, I think that's exactly it. 'Not to say that there aren't other factors certainly, but still, I've yet to be satisfied with anyone's input contradicting there being a purpose in life. We may not know what it is, but there is one. Through simple observation of how we human beings act (ignoring what we say, since words are generally premeditated, or otherwise speak on a basic level devoid of higher thought....either way, the things we say....especially, for instance, the happy self motivating things I try to rally myself with....are not always as we feel. Be it caused by pride in not wanting to admit a weakness, or whimsy in wanting to be accountable, or whatever reasons we have to do the things we do, most people are not as one with themselves as they act or profess to be. And of course, the more capable a human being is, the more they assume they're right all the time, since no one ever corrects them....as opposed to stupid people like me who others tend to simply ignore....though of course, in my mind, I'm like unto (not actually one, obviously) of a prophet with information others overlook....unfortunately, in this modern age, soothsayers are all pretty much regarded as crazy. Which maybe I am, since there are times I agree with both sides of a thing. Plus I get off track a lot, like right now.
You know, maybe there is no point to life, and human beings are simply so afraid of losing their life, that they will bow and comply when faced with opposition, rather than fight and overcome it. That would explain the shitty governments of the world, as I already fear that anymore the only ones who will rise to any form of power are those who have crushed others along the way....in my opinion, NOT someone that should be in charge of anything, let alone....everything. Are there leaders anymore? One who views them self as a part of the force they govern, rather than a mere king of slaves which seems to be the goal of everyone seeking power anymore.
Then there's me. Most people would have thousands upon thousands of selfish materialistic requests were they to, say, win the lottery. Sure, such things cross my mind too, but if I actually had that much money at my disposal....hmm....it'd be difficult choice between wanting to help as many people as I could with basic needs (maybe open a huge homeless shelter or something), or buying a toy on the black market that would allow me to be a world player....a player others would have to listen to....of course, there's only so long a person can walk around with a firework in their pocket before wanting to torch the thing off....which I would....of course I would; you don't start a post the way I did without wanting to watch the world burn on some level. Some level. It would be more inconvenient to destroy everything and rebuild, knowing that at some point down the road someone else will have to do it all over again, as opposed to fix it now. But, that's the question. Can we fix it? Obviously not if we continue to do things as they've been done....and it doesn't really look like anything is truly changing....so were I to place a bet, I'd say we'd be better of saving millions from starvation, depression and sadness in vaporizing them in an instant, rather than drag our downfall out to the point that everyone feels it as they continually do. Since we all die anyway, and as many of us don't believe there's any point to life (and for those that do, the true value of life is only realized upon death), why not do the humane thing and kill everyone, all at once, quick and painlessly?
You can't take anything with you, and if oblivion truly waits for us after this coil, then everything you've experienced and will experience is meaningless. Your want to live matters then equally as much as my want to slake my boredom....and there's really only one answer to solve all of everything evenly.
Yet here I remain. By my inaction I only really label myself as a hypocrite, repeatedly, for wanting to do more and yet never doing so. And had I the faith I profess, I would have the reason I seek to act. My problem is that I try to evaluate what the world wants of me, thus spending all of my time doing nothing and not acting because I might only be doing more harm than good. So I do nothing, waiting for people to have a use for me, and otherwise spending many days alone, unproductive. At some point I know I'll get bored of it all, and finally risk damaging others for my own personal advancement....but damned if pitting others against myself doesn't strike many a chord within me. I refuse to hurt innocence and good, and if I don't know a person....like the billions I don't....better to, again, err on the side of good.
But enough of this, I've gotten my point across. It's doubtful anyone will read this, let alone for it to have an effect. But then, that's really for the best, for if people really pondered the world around them as much as I do, they probably be just as unhappy with things as I am....so....ignorance is bliss. Meaning....my talking about all of this is intentionally trying to cause harm to others....see? 'Can't even keep to my word over the course of a single lj post. Ha! Oh well, i'm bored of writing, so this is the end.