Questions 'n stuff.
1. in terms of sexual chemistry, do you believe there is a formula of dominance-submission that intimate couples perpetuate, or do you think it is more fluid? which "role" do you most closely identify with, and do you think adherence to that perceived role dictates (or at least firmly guides) how you see people you want to date/be with romantically?
Yes- to a degree. I don't believe that a majority of people have rigid, unchanging roles and preferences, but I do think that most people tend to prefer one or the other on the whole.
I would say that when it comes to personal relationships, I'm more submissive. I tend to react to the other person more than I initiate anything. I guess it's sort of because if the other person is the one to initiate something, I'm just going along with what they “started.” Initiating things makes me feel exposed and vulnerable and, in terms of intimacy, whorish. Which is stupid, but there you have it. I have preferences, morals, and opinions- sometimes strong ones- but so long as these aren't completely ignored, I tend to place others' wants and needs above my own. I rarely make demands on people, and I tend to avoid any conflict when possible, often waiting until I've reached the brink of a literal breakdown before speaking up about things that bother me. I can be dominant- I'm capable of it- but I don't like to be. It makes me uncomfortable.
I would say that this does definitely firmly guide my preference in partners. I tend to see submissiveness in potential partners as weakness, or indecisiveness. I prefer a partner with a dominant personality because I find it easier to deal with. I am, myself, very indecisive, so I find that I prefer someone who will take my thoughts and preferences into consideration, but ultimately be willing to step up and make the final decision so that I don't have to.
I feel like I only half answered that question in terms of “sexual chemistry,” so sorry about that. It still pretty much holds true either way, though.
Note that my role in personal/intimate relationships is radically different from my role in a work/school setting, in which I frequently find myself taking leadership/”dominant” roles. In that setting, I feel more comfortable being the one in control, who gets to make the final call on things.
2. most favorite OTP of all time and why? why does this OTP work?
Zidane Tribal and Dagger/Princess Garnet, from Final Fantasy IX. They've been my favorite couple since I was like, 9, and first played FFIX. I can't say what it is, specifically. They're both just such interesting, memorable characters. It's something about the way they sharply contrast, yet still compliment each other. The gentleman thief and the down-to-earth princess. He's so sweet and charming, and at the beginning, she's so high-strung and naïve.
Other pairings, like Rinoa/Squall, or even Axel/Roxas... I love them, it works, I think they're perfect together. But none of them have ever seemed quite as made for each other as these two. They're a perfect match, like two pieces of a puzzle- and they're the only pairing I've ever felt actually fit that analogy. They grew, changed, became different and better versions of themselves because of each other's influence, and were still perfect together at the end of it all. Maybe even more so.
3. what is your version of the "American Dream," and are you actively pursuing it?
Never really gave it too much thought, to be honest. I guess basically to get a steady job that pays well, own a nice home in a good neighborhood, have a decent car, marry someone you're compatible with, and who is not much better or worse than yourself, in terms of looks, or intelligence, or job position/earnings (these things tend to be what split up a marriage.) Maybe have a couple kids. Earn enough to live comfortably, perhaps take a vacation now and then, and be able to buy somethings you don't necessarily need when you want to, and still have a decent amount in the savings account, just in case.
As for me? Fuck no. “Average” has never been an worthwhile aim, to me (except grades, because I mostly coast by in classes.) If you're going to try and succeed, you might as well kick ass. I want to work for Google, in their Manhattan office, own a decently sized (but gorgeously decorated) home, with an infinity pool and a big enough yard for a nice formal garden and some fruit trees. My dream car is a Porsche (check out the silver Cayman S, unf~), but I'll settle for a silver convertible Mustang. I want a dog or two, in all likelihood no kids, and to marry my soul mate, whoever he turns out to be. If he's super successful and totally hot, well that's icing on the cake. I want to see as many of the beautiful things the world has to offer as I possibly can, spend my money, try new things.
4. what are three adjectives that you'd use to describe yourself? what are three adjectives that everyone else would describe you with? if these are noticeably different, why do you think that disconnect exists?
Me: Whiner, pushover, needy.
Others: Probably any of several variations on “nice”, smart (lolwut), and pretty (I get that a lot at work.)
I can be kind of hard on myself, I guess. I'm reluctant to admit to any positive characteristics in myself, both because I honestly don't see most of them, and because I'm afraid that it'll make me seem vain. I think I think badly of myself because I'm always in my own head. I know every thought I think but don't show to the rest of the world. So I judge myself more harshly.
As for being “nice”, I am very polite, and I think that people tend to like pushovers. Everyone likes getting their way. Thus they're more likely to think well of someone who lets them. And smart... I dunno. I'm fairly average, I think. People see that I read for fun and like computers, and for some reason they automatically equate that with intelligence. I can be *occasionally* quick witted, and I know some things that a majority of others might not, but I wouldn't say that I'm “smart”. Just.. not entirely stupid.
5. what are three things you must absolutely do before you die?
Fall completely and irrevocably in love with someone who is the PB to my J- who completes me- and who loves me back, with every bit of the same intensity. I want to be completely unforgettable and irreplaceable to at least one person in my life.
Do something- anything- that makes me feel as though I've achieved something of note. Something that people will remember. Not the whole world, though that would be nice. Just someone, somewhere. Something that makes me feel like a success. Like everything I did was ultimately worth it.
Find/build and own my dream home. Without being owned by it, because I never want to be one of those people who lives their whole life stuck in their house, putting all their money into it.
Yes- to a degree. I don't believe that a majority of people have rigid, unchanging roles and preferences, but I do think that most people tend to prefer one or the other on the whole.
I would say that when it comes to personal relationships, I'm more submissive. I tend to react to the other person more than I initiate anything. I guess it's sort of because if the other person is the one to initiate something, I'm just going along with what they “started.” Initiating things makes me feel exposed and vulnerable and, in terms of intimacy, whorish. Which is stupid, but there you have it. I have preferences, morals, and opinions- sometimes strong ones- but so long as these aren't completely ignored, I tend to place others' wants and needs above my own. I rarely make demands on people, and I tend to avoid any conflict when possible, often waiting until I've reached the brink of a literal breakdown before speaking up about things that bother me. I can be dominant- I'm capable of it- but I don't like to be. It makes me uncomfortable.
I would say that this does definitely firmly guide my preference in partners. I tend to see submissiveness in potential partners as weakness, or indecisiveness. I prefer a partner with a dominant personality because I find it easier to deal with. I am, myself, very indecisive, so I find that I prefer someone who will take my thoughts and preferences into consideration, but ultimately be willing to step up and make the final decision so that I don't have to.
I feel like I only half answered that question in terms of “sexual chemistry,” so sorry about that. It still pretty much holds true either way, though.
Note that my role in personal/intimate relationships is radically different from my role in a work/school setting, in which I frequently find myself taking leadership/”dominant” roles. In that setting, I feel more comfortable being the one in control, who gets to make the final call on things.
2. most favorite OTP of all time and why? why does this OTP work?
Zidane Tribal and Dagger/Princess Garnet, from Final Fantasy IX. They've been my favorite couple since I was like, 9, and first played FFIX. I can't say what it is, specifically. They're both just such interesting, memorable characters. It's something about the way they sharply contrast, yet still compliment each other. The gentleman thief and the down-to-earth princess. He's so sweet and charming, and at the beginning, she's so high-strung and naïve.
Other pairings, like Rinoa/Squall, or even Axel/Roxas... I love them, it works, I think they're perfect together. But none of them have ever seemed quite as made for each other as these two. They're a perfect match, like two pieces of a puzzle- and they're the only pairing I've ever felt actually fit that analogy. They grew, changed, became different and better versions of themselves because of each other's influence, and were still perfect together at the end of it all. Maybe even more so.
3. what is your version of the "American Dream," and are you actively pursuing it?
Never really gave it too much thought, to be honest. I guess basically to get a steady job that pays well, own a nice home in a good neighborhood, have a decent car, marry someone you're compatible with, and who is not much better or worse than yourself, in terms of looks, or intelligence, or job position/earnings (these things tend to be what split up a marriage.) Maybe have a couple kids. Earn enough to live comfortably, perhaps take a vacation now and then, and be able to buy somethings you don't necessarily need when you want to, and still have a decent amount in the savings account, just in case.
As for me? Fuck no. “Average” has never been an worthwhile aim, to me (except grades, because I mostly coast by in classes.) If you're going to try and succeed, you might as well kick ass. I want to work for Google, in their Manhattan office, own a decently sized (but gorgeously decorated) home, with an infinity pool and a big enough yard for a nice formal garden and some fruit trees. My dream car is a Porsche (check out the silver Cayman S, unf~), but I'll settle for a silver convertible Mustang. I want a dog or two, in all likelihood no kids, and to marry my soul mate, whoever he turns out to be. If he's super successful and totally hot, well that's icing on the cake. I want to see as many of the beautiful things the world has to offer as I possibly can, spend my money, try new things.
4. what are three adjectives that you'd use to describe yourself? what are three adjectives that everyone else would describe you with? if these are noticeably different, why do you think that disconnect exists?
Me: Whiner, pushover, needy.
Others: Probably any of several variations on “nice”, smart (lolwut), and pretty (I get that a lot at work.)
I can be kind of hard on myself, I guess. I'm reluctant to admit to any positive characteristics in myself, both because I honestly don't see most of them, and because I'm afraid that it'll make me seem vain. I think I think badly of myself because I'm always in my own head. I know every thought I think but don't show to the rest of the world. So I judge myself more harshly.
As for being “nice”, I am very polite, and I think that people tend to like pushovers. Everyone likes getting their way. Thus they're more likely to think well of someone who lets them. And smart... I dunno. I'm fairly average, I think. People see that I read for fun and like computers, and for some reason they automatically equate that with intelligence. I can be *occasionally* quick witted, and I know some things that a majority of others might not, but I wouldn't say that I'm “smart”. Just.. not entirely stupid.
5. what are three things you must absolutely do before you die?
Fall completely and irrevocably in love with someone who is the PB to my J- who completes me- and who loves me back, with every bit of the same intensity. I want to be completely unforgettable and irreplaceable to at least one person in my life.
Do something- anything- that makes me feel as though I've achieved something of note. Something that people will remember. Not the whole world, though that would be nice. Just someone, somewhere. Something that makes me feel like a success. Like everything I did was ultimately worth it.
Find/build and own my dream home. Without being owned by it, because I never want to be one of those people who lives their whole life stuck in their house, putting all their money into it.