私が見た夢
I lost her. It was unavoidable, I was very aware of that since the beginning. So why does it hurt more than hell? Well... Maybe it's because I am weak and not able to keep somebody important? Maybe I push away people with the way I am? Don't get me wrong, I meant my bad habits, my bad thoughts, あたしの悪口 and more. The thing is that I don't feel any reason I should change that. I am who I am, I won't be different. Mostly because I am too old for that but that's not only it. It is me... The myself I have created. Without that I have nothing, I am nothing. That's why I won't cry. もう泣かないよ. This had no sense anyway. That doesn't mean I will smile. Smile is not my thing. It's just not. Not being happy doesn't equal being sad. Not smiling doesn't mean being upset. So let me be the way I am, even if it means closing in my shell and letting in very few people.
And then I woke up...
And then I woke up...