My thoughts about reading fanfics...
Okay, so for quite a lot of people I am really weird and for another few of them I am kind of rude... All because I do not read fanfics. At all. Well, if somebody writes especially for me (for example on my birthday) I would read it of course, but those are the only exceptions.
Why I don't read fanfics, even though I love SakurAiba so much and I simply adore MatsuMiya? There are few reasons of that.
First of all - RL. I am busy with my work, my Japanese classes (I want to pass JLPT N3 in a month, so I am studying) plus another responsibilities that fell on me. Add to that my love to creating plots and writing fics and there is no much space for sleeping or doing anything else... Not mention that I want to watch a drama/movie/show or meet my friends...
Second - it's the fear that I will read a story which will inspire me to write something similar. Don't get me wrong, I have my own ideas really a lot a lot a lot of them and I am afraid that somebody, sometime, somewhere already published very similar story... Of course not that lack of knowledge will justify me but at least I will be sure that I didn't copy anything and the story is 100% mine. For my own peace and calmness.
Third - it's kind of connects with the previous one. It's the fear that I will find somebody who writes hella good fics and I will start doubt in myself. Don't get me wrong, I surely love my stories. I am kind of proud of them. But I don't have any confidence. And if I find something brilliant (in any field, not only writing) I start to think if I really should continue doing this, since I am not as good as I want to be. I have no idea if I explained that well... I have the same with criticism. When I feel I give my best, when I couldn't do anything more, when I put all of my strength in something and then somebody tells me it sucks I am closing myself even more and lose all the enthusiasm I had before. And I am doing everything to avoid doing the same thing in the future... Okay, this is complicated and sounded so simply in my head... So if you don't understand... *bows* Forgive me.
Lastly, I am more of a writer than a reader. I like to read a good book, but I prefer writing. I always repeat that I am writing junkie, that this is my drug and one of the really few things that makes me happy. In all that running around, stresses, sadness (more or less) I need something that makes me feel better. I have Arashi, I have friends who I can talk to and I have my writing.
That's why I am not reading fanfics. If anyone feels resentful, I apologize. All I can say this is me.
Why I don't read fanfics, even though I love SakurAiba so much and I simply adore MatsuMiya? There are few reasons of that.
First of all - RL. I am busy with my work, my Japanese classes (I want to pass JLPT N3 in a month, so I am studying) plus another responsibilities that fell on me. Add to that my love to creating plots and writing fics and there is no much space for sleeping or doing anything else... Not mention that I want to watch a drama/movie/show or meet my friends...
Second - it's the fear that I will read a story which will inspire me to write something similar. Don't get me wrong, I have my own ideas really a lot a lot a lot of them and I am afraid that somebody, sometime, somewhere already published very similar story... Of course not that lack of knowledge will justify me but at least I will be sure that I didn't copy anything and the story is 100% mine. For my own peace and calmness.
Third - it's kind of connects with the previous one. It's the fear that I will find somebody who writes hella good fics and I will start doubt in myself. Don't get me wrong, I surely love my stories. I am kind of proud of them. But I don't have any confidence. And if I find something brilliant (in any field, not only writing) I start to think if I really should continue doing this, since I am not as good as I want to be. I have no idea if I explained that well... I have the same with criticism. When I feel I give my best, when I couldn't do anything more, when I put all of my strength in something and then somebody tells me it sucks I am closing myself even more and lose all the enthusiasm I had before. And I am doing everything to avoid doing the same thing in the future... Okay, this is complicated and sounded so simply in my head... So if you don't understand... *bows* Forgive me.
Lastly, I am more of a writer than a reader. I like to read a good book, but I prefer writing. I always repeat that I am writing junkie, that this is my drug and one of the really few things that makes me happy. In all that running around, stresses, sadness (more or less) I need something that makes me feel better. I have Arashi, I have friends who I can talk to and I have my writing.
That's why I am not reading fanfics. If anyone feels resentful, I apologize. All I can say this is me.