やっぱりスランプかな

[tsuchi8562]

Recently I found myself being extremely harsh for myself when it comes to writing. My constant race to being perfect in my stories made the writing so damn hard I seriously have to spent more time than previously to get the effect that will please me. I know that you may say that those are just fanfiction stories and that I shouldn't be so worried about it but... From the beginning my main idea was that I am writing for myself. Of course I will post my stories but the most important thing is that I have fun writing and creating the stories. And I guess this is what made me feel like that. I want to satisfy myself with my stories so much that whatever I write it seems not good enough. I am re-writing parts more than ever now. It begun with The beginning and now it continues with my newest solo project Dreamcatcher... I write the story too slow, taking my time and even though it's good since I am not posting anything before I finish, it makes me somehow mad. I want to speed up and finish everything on my list plus continue with my book I started long time ago but at this time I just feel I am in slump... Sometimes I think I should rest and stop writing for a while but then I remember how much I love it. I gave too much of myself in this to just stop it, even just for a bit. I feel that without it I have nothing. And the loop closes... I try to write, I can't find the right words or ideas, I got stuck, I think I should take a break, I hear the voice in my head that I shouldn't give up that if it's me I will find it and then I try to write despite everything...

Does it have sense? Because I think everything I just wrote is chaotic... Ugh... Useless...