The Round Ring Of Doom PART ONE
Title: The Round Ring of Doom
Author: Pain au Chocolat
Language: English.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters used in this fiction. Everything belongs to Akira Amano and the original plot of LotR belongs to J. R. R. Tolkien.
Rating & Warnings: R for Retarded. AU, OOC, gayness, x-over, parody, lime, grammar and spelling abuse, no sense whatsoever… KHR. Characters are OOC - I’m saying this again just in case someone missed it. This is parody and will most probably ruin the LotR for you.
Summary: It’s a KHR-fied LotR parody. Read if you can
Pairing: Squalo x Tsuna, a bit of manyTsuna
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This is what I would have submitted for the 5th eDoujin, but…it got too long...
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t was noisy, but then again parties tended to be so. Especially the parties organized by Sawada Iemitsu, the flashy and quite eccentric father of one Sawada Tsunayoshi, who would rather die than admit the blood relation out loud.
At any case, Iemitsu had decided to hold a celebration for his nth birthday - nobody knew quite how old the man was, since he was surprisingly tight-lipped about that fact. However, free food was free food, and therefore any questions could be ignored till the day after. Nobody was insane enough to risk getting kicked out of The Party of the century just because they wanted to know a technically speaking irrelevant number!
Tsunayoshi was hiding under a table - his Intuition was telling him rather profoundly that something bad was about to happen. And as usual, it was right; it had been barely two hours after start of the party when a firework mishap happened, lighting two tents and several mops of hair aflame. With morbid fascination the young brunet watched people running around screaming, laughing and some even singing.
‘How someone can ignore tents on fire and focus on singing, I will never know,’ Tsunayoshi thought while watching warily how Guiseppe wandered aimlessly, obviously drunk and tone deaf. ‘I wish for this to be over already.’
But, bad things tended to either appear in herds of several dozens misfortunes, or just last a lifetime.
This one, had anyone asked Tsunayoshi, seemed to last a lifetime. Several lifetimes, in fact. And when he saw his father asking for the crowd to quiet down for the sake of a speech he was no doubt about to unleash, this particular misery seemed to extend from a lifetime of an elf to simple eternity.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Iemitsu started. “Supposing that there are any real ones present right now, you peasants.”
“You would know!” someone - the voice sounded a bit like that guy, Moretti - laughed loudly.
“Yes, well, I admit to knowing you lot much better than what’s wise. Anyway, folks… I have lived here with you for many, many years.”
“Many more than you’d like to admit!” another voice yelled cheerfully, and Tsunayoshi crawled from under the table and inconspicuously joined the audience. Something was going on. His no-good father was up to something. He could feel it.
“Stop with the interruptions, dammit,” Iemitsu growled. “What I’m trying to tell you is that I have lived here a long happy life. Occasionally I have roamed these lands of Middle Earth and enjoyed that too. Here or there; I have liked both. However, I have… um… spent a long time here, so…”
‘He looks fidgety,’ Tsunayoshi thought with clear suspicion. ‘Uh-huh. He’s definitely done something crazy again.’
“So,” his father was saying, grinning widely. “It’s time for me to go again. From Here to There.”
And with those words, Sawada Iemitsu suddenly vanished, leaving his audience struck with surprise, till someone thought that surprise was as good of a reason as anything else to start a food fight, and in a span of few minutes the whole population of Namimori - a place known to the outsiders as the Shire - was involved, bar few key characters.
sunayoshi - who decisively was Not Worried about his father, ran towards Bag End, blissfully unaware of an obsessed stalker trailing after him. The brunet reached his home, and barged in to find his father packing.
“You!” Tsunayoshi screamed, pointing at the now guiltily fidgeting father. “What are you up to!? What did you do?”
“Hey, show some respect! I’m your fa-“
“Spill.”
“Fine,” Iemitsu relented. “But first there’s a guest we have to let in. That Grey Wizard friend of mine. You remember him, don’t you?”
“Ugh.” Tsunayoshi wished he could forget. “That creep.”
“Kufufufu… your words hurt me, my dear Tsunayoshi~” a familiar voice said right behind the brunet, who shrieked and dived under a table.
“You got in?” Iemitsu half-stated, half-asked.
“No lock could keep me away from Tsun- I mean… duty,” the Grey Wizard, a very handsome man with mismatched eyes of red and blue said smugly. Rokudo Mukuro was one of those people Tsunayoshi knew, but wished desperately that he didn’t.
“Why is he here!?”
“Well, son, there’s something important we need to talk about,” Iemitsu said, and dug out a ring. “Do you know what this is?”
“A ring,” Tsunayoshi said. “And an ugly one at that.” At this both Man and Wizard blinked with confusion.
“You do not… find it alluring?” Iemitsu asked.
“I’m not ring-o-sexual,” his son snapped. “And you can stop waggling your eyebrows, Mukuro, I don’t want to know what you do with rings.”
“But, wait,” Iemitsu said, waving his arms. “This isn’t right. Look at this ring, boy, look at it. Doesn’t it… you know, shine?”
“That’s what happens when you keep it in Detoxil overnight.”
“No. I didn’t mean that kind of shine. Isn’t it precious?”
“… no.”
“Look, I don’t think we’re on the same page here.”
“I don’t think that we’re even in the same book, father.” Iemitsu stared at the brown eyes of his son that peeked at him from under the table. So Tsunayoshi didn’t find the ring alluring at all? He didn’t hear any inviting voices and… and… didn’t suffer from odd possessiveness? Well, that was alright. What’s better than giving the ring to someone who didn’t want it?
“It’s yours from now on, Tsunayoshi,” Iemitsu said kindly. “I’m leaving, but I want you to have it.”
“No thanks.”
“Accept it,” Mukuro advised. “Sure, it’s not our engagement ring, so you have to keep your ring finger fr-urk!” Having an umbrella suddenly shoved down someone’s throat wasn’t a nice sensation. Honestly.
“Why do I have to have it?” Tsunayoshi asked, and Iemitsu sighed tiredly.
“You see… That ring is Evil,” Mukuro said after getting the umbrella out his- uh, well. After getting the umbrella out. “It has to be destroyed by someone who doesn’t want it, for the sake of preventing any last-minute possessiveness that will ruin the whole plot and kill dozens of innocents.”
“And what does that have to do with me?”
“Well, boy,” Iemitsu grinned, in a desperate attempt to come across as if he knew what he was doing. “You’re the one who’s gonna do it. Destroy the ring. All you have to do is to take the Evil to the Root of All Evil where every Evil is at its strongest, and then defeat ‘em all.”
“…”
“You see… there have been rumours of strange things happening outside of our dear Namimori. Unfortunately those rumours aren’t baseless - the Dark Power is rising in the Land of Mordor. This ring is actually the greatest of the Rings of Power, and was made ages ago by this dude called Byakuran, the Dark Lord of Mordor-“
“He wears an awfully lot of white to be a proper Dark Lord, though,” Mukuro couldn’t help but add.
“Byakuran is now searching for that ring,” Iemitsu continued. “And if he gets it, his power will grow immensely and he will rule every place in this world. To prevent that the ring has to be destroyed in Orodruin, the Mount of Doom in Mordor.”
“Why can’t we just hide this damned ring here?” Tsunayoshi asked. “Why must we defy logic, survival instincts and common sense by galloping right under his nose with what he wants?”
“Well, this is a bit awkward,” Iemitsu started fidgeting again, making his son sigh tiredly.
“You did something, didn’t you?”
“Uh… not really. But you see, the guy from whom I… uh… acquired-“
“Stole.”
“Acquired. The guy from whom I got the ring was a bit pissed off I suppose and went to tell Byakuran about it. The guy’s name is Levi, by the way. If you ever meet him, feel free to stab him. To death, thanks.”
“What do you mean if I ever meet him?” Tsunayoshi asked sternly. “Were you serious about sending me - your only son - to save the world from a life-threatening danger and a demonic enemy while you’re having picnics all across the globe?”
“Uh…”
“Don’t worry,” Mukuro interrupted. “What we’re asking from you is very simple - just take the ring to the elves of Rivendell.”
“Why can’t one of you take it?”
“Because I’d rather keep it with myself,” Iemitsu admitted honestly, still clutching the sparkling ring. “And Mukuro would end up remoulding it into an engagement ring.”
“Point.”
“And why would I agree?” Tsunayoshi asked, finally crawling from under the table for good. “I’m not willing to risk myself to save the world. You do it. Or find another hero.”
“No,” Iemitsu said. “Stop being so spineless.”
“I’m being cautious.”
“Do it, Tsunayoshi,” Mukuro pleaded with an odd smirk. “I’ll give you chocolate.”
“No.”
“Say yes or I’ll lick the chocolate off you.”
And so Sawada Tsunayoshi was forced to pick the lesser of two Evils, and say ‘yes’. Mukuro wasn’t sure whether he was happy about that or not. Especially since after half a minute from Tsunayoshi’s agreement, a certain silver-haired stalker stumbled into the room, offering his services for the trip.
emitsu left, and Mukuro left reluctantly a bit after him. Tsunayoshi stood silently for a while watching his stalker - Gokudera Hayato - who was still kneeling, before the brunet decided to grab something to eat before making any rash decisions. The ring in his pocket was almost weightless and didn’t feel hot, which made it seem like any other ring. How could it be Evil? A mere ring? That would be like Voldemort saying “It wasn’t me, it was the wand!”
“Tenth,” Gokudera started, using the nickname he was so fond of. Years ago when Gokudera and Tsunayoshi had met for the first time, the silver-haired boy hadn’t know Tsunayoshi’s name, opting to call him by the number on his shirt instead. Sometimes the brunet wondered what Gokudera would have called him, had he put on his ‘1989.55’ shirt. Not that he owned one.
“Use my name, Gokudera.”
“Are you really going to leave Namimori?”
“Yes.”
“You absolutely sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. What of it?”
“Well then,” Gokudera said in a slightly rebellious manner. “I’m coming with you.”
“Surely not,” Tsunayoshi replied. “You have to stay here, Gokudera. I don’t want you to risk your life-“
“I would do it for you!” the silver-haired boy exclaimed. “I… I would rather die than let you go alone! Please, let me go with you!”
“Mukuro gave me some instructions, you know. And while many of them have too much to do with bedroom acts, there were some important things as well. Gokudera, we’re going to a world that won’t be grateful for our interference. We’re going to a world where Evil is stronger than eve before. We might die, our precious people might die, and it’s pure hell out there.”
“As long as I’m with you, I don’t care,” Gokudera swore. “I’m coming even if I have to follow you on my own!”
“Fine,” Tsunayoshi snapped. “Do what you wish. Come with me. But there’s no life insurance.”
“I will protect you,” Gokudera all but sang, clutching the brunet’s hands tightly. “With my soul. And heart. And body. I’ll be with you forever. Only death will do us apart.” Carefully Tsunayoshi detached himself, and took a step back.
“Alright. I’ll just organize everything here, check on the people who’ll wonder about my father, and then prepare to leave.”
“I’ll carry your bags for you!”
“Uh… no thanks. Just don’t add to my burden.”
“Huh?”
“Like,” Tsunayoshi said awkwardly. “No need to hang onto me all the time. Personal space, you know.”
“Oh, alright,” replied Gokudera, thinking that while touching would be a no-no, there would be many opportunities to watch…
“We’ll meet Mukuro again at an inn - he gave me the address to it. He left to gather useful information for a week or so,” Tsunayoshi told his friend. “I suppose I’ll wait here for a few days - if he doesn’t return, I’ll just go forward to the inn he told me about.”
“And if we don’t find him there?”
“Then we must go to Rivendell without him.”
“What, wait, Rivendell!? As in the place where the elves live?”
“Yep. That one.”
Tsuna then proceeded to tell Gokudera what his father and Mukuro had told him, completely unaware of the two eavesdroppers hiding outside his window…
he following few days passed quickly in a blur, as Tsunayoshi did his best to settle the chaos his father had left behind. As if that wasn’t energy-consuming enough, having a chronic bad feeling and… and…
“Lambo,” the brunet hissed. “What are you doing here, camping in front of my door?”
“I’m enjoying the weather,” the younger boy said cheerfully. “And waiting for Yama.”
“Oh yeah,” Tsunayoshi muttered, realizing that he hadn’t seen his tall friend for a while. “Where is he?” Yamamoto Takeshi was one of Tsunayoshi’s closest friends and distant relatives.
“Haven’t you wondered why people aren’t crowding up here, Sawada?” Lambo asked. “He did it. He’s been protecting you and redirecting unwanted guests ever since your father disappeared. Ah, what an outstanding young man. Truly, if I was ever to go outside of Namimori I’d take him with me.” At this Tsunayoshi felt very grateful towards Yamamoto, while his Intuition was showing the red card. Something was off.
“I, too,” Lambo continued. “If anyone was to tell me to go on a trip right now, I would! I’m ready for it, you see? I’m itching to go on a trip!”
“Great,” Tsunayoshi grunted, preparing to close the door. “Go. See you when you come back.” He was about to shut the other boy outside, when Lambo threw himself against the still half-open door.
“I know about you going to the Outside World!” Lambo blurted. “And we want to go with you!”
“I don’t know how you found out, but you’re NOT coming with me.”
“Do you really think that going alone with Gokudera is a good idea!?”
"...You have a point there. But wouldn't bringing both you and Yamamoto make it worse? The three of you fight almost every single time you see each other."
"Though that's usually Gokudera's fault," Tsunayoshi added under his breath. “At any case, you’re not coming with m-“
“WAAAAAHH!” Lambo’s loud crying made the brunet twitch with annoyance. The sound was hurting his ears and made him feel a little bit bad too. Not to mention that Lambo’s tears were soaking the carpet of the hallway.
“Okay, stop,” Tsunayoshi ordered after seven minutes and twenty seven seconds. “You can come with me. Just stop that noise.”
And so it was decided that four young boys would set out to save the world.
hich one of you has the map?” Lambo asked.
“There’s one damned road in front of us, dork,” Gokudera growled, looking like Satan on a bad hair day. “We’ll dig out the map later.”
“We ought to head toward Brandywine river,” Yamamoto said. “Since we’re going to be chased by some evil guys who want the ring.”
“Who’d you know that?”
“Haha, a guess.”
“A guess my arse.”
“Guys,” Tsunayoshi admonished, turning towards the three while attempting a rather pitiful glare. “Stop being like that or you’ll end up like David.”
“Who the hell is David?”
“Precisely. So shut up.”
“Did you understand that?” Lambo whispered, and Yamamoto shook his head.
“Maybe it’s another Sawada-oddity. You know their eccentric sense of humour.”
‘I can totally hear them talking about me,’ Tsunayoshi thought with dismay. ‘Damn you stupid father. When I find you again the first thing I do is to beat you up. Then I’ll kill the Root Of All Evil that goes by the name ‘Mukuro’.’
“The sun will be setting soon,” Gokudera noted. “Have we really been walking for so long?”
“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Lambo chortled. “How much till we reach the River?”
“Hours,” Yamamoto replied. “It’s a long way to go on feet.”
‘Well excuse me for not getting us a carriage,’ Tsunayoshi thought frostily, before something else caught his attention. “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?” Lambo asked.
“It sounds like a horse,” Yamamoto muttered, while Tsunayoshi’s Intuition was once again going haywire.
“Let’s hide under that dark, rotten tree, from where we can peek up at the dangerous enemy without being seen,” the brunet said, and was the first to dive into safety. It took less than a second for the other three to invade his personal bubble in an attempt to hide, as a dark figure one an even darker horse stopped few feet away from their hiding place.
Right then, the ring Tsunayoshi had managed to successfully ignore so far, showed some of its Evil Powers and whispered into its bearer’s mind promises of ‘gold and silver and eternal life and pleasure if you put me on your ring finger, you pretty little thing. Yes, yeeeeesss… Shishishi…’
Uh… that went to a new level of disturbing and Hell would freeze over before the brunet would wear that ring.
“We have to hurry towards the River and cross it,” Yamamoto whispered, lips pressed against Tsunayoshi’s ear, making the latter rather uncomfortable. His brown eyes were still fixed on the dark figure, feeling more and more as if he should recognize him. It. And only when the rider left, did he dare to reply.
“Yes,” he said. “We have to hurry. Like, no seven lunch breaks or half-dozen breakfasts till we reach relative safety.”
“Actually if we’re aiming away from here, we can just go through the Old Forest,” Gokudera reminded them.“
“Thank you,” Tsunayoshi stated. “The obvious never occurred to me. Do you know the way?”
“I do,” Lambo spoke up, gaining three incredulous glances. “What? I can be useful too!”
“I’ll believe that when I see it happen,” Gokudera deadpanned. “Till then you’ll be the cry baby loser I have come to know you as.”
“SO CRUEL!” Lambo wailed. “To…le…rate…Waaaahhh!!”
“I think it’s safer to go around the forest and directly through the Barrow-downs,” Yamamoto said suddenly.
“Safer?” Gokudera scoffed. “Those hills are full of those ancient barrows, and you know what sorts of legends have been told about the place!”
“Listen, guys,” Tsunayoshi said. “Instead of going through screwed up places like the Old Forest and the Barrow-downs… how about we just go directly to the Bree? Yes, I know it won’t be an exciting tale to tell, but I’m really not too fond of risking my life just to gloat about it later.”
“You’re right as always, Tenth!” Gokudera exclaimed. “Directly to the Bree! Sounds brilliant!”
“Yeah. Direct road, best road!”
“Bree - here we come directly!”
“Uh, thanks. Let’s just get going now, alright?”
uch to Tsunayoshi’s happiness, the party of four reached the village of Bree in two days. Sure, they were dirty and tired and hungry - but they were alive and uninjured and without any traumatic experiences. Adding to their luck, Gokudera found the way to The Prancing Pony - the inn Mukuro supposedly would meet them in - rather easily.
In the inn itself were many sort of creatures, and while hobbits and mankind shared a startlingly similar outer appearance, the other races - such as Talking Horses - were easy to recognize. It wasn’t long after they entered when Tsunayoshi spotted a lone man sitting in the furthest corner of the inn. At the sight of this man the young brunet’s Intuition tried to signal the orders of screwing the world and going back home to hide under some table. And if that didn’t work, then just find a table and hide under it.
“Who’s that?” Tsunayoshi asked a random stranger.
“He’s a mysterious Ranger,” said the random stranger. “We know him as Strider. I suggest avoiding him - he’s mean. And nasty. And ridiculously evil.”
“Oh,” replied the ring bearer, and promptly turned his back to the dark figure. ‘He’s looking over here, isn’t he? I knew it! Damn you, Mukuro… You’re so dead when I find you again…’
“Let’s get a room for tonight,” Gokudera grinned and his beloved Tenth didn’t want to think of the implications in that statement. Tsunayoshi told him to proceed and sent both Lambo and Yamamoto to watch and keep the silver-haired boy from doing anything… explosive. The brunet had stood alone for barely a minute, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Sawada Tsunayoshi, I presume?” a mocking voice whispered against Tsunayoshi’s ear, making the boy shriek and turn. It was Strider, whose black eyes gleamed with something akin to sardonic mirth. “I’m here to take you to Mukuro - who owes me now a favour. I’ll be your guide and lead you to Rivendell where you’re without a doubt heading to.”
“Uh-huh,” Tsunayoshi twitched awkwardly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, mister Strider.”
“Listen, Loser-Tsuna,” the stranger said in a rather bored voice. “Without me you’ll get killed on the way. With me you will live. It doesn’t matter whether or not you trust me because what I say goes, go it?”
“I… I’ll have to consult my companions first.”
“Your sidekicks will agree to anything you do.”
“Yes well, but it’s a formality. To avoid all the future ‘we’re in this mess because of you’ scenes. Now I’m giving them an option to back out.” Strider’s dark eyes were clearly full of mirth when the man stared at the young brunet for a little while, before nodding slowly.
“Very well.”
And so, in approximately twenty minutes Tsunayoshi was leading his three faithful companions into a room where Strider was waiting. Then it took the better part of three hours to convince Gokudera that no, Mukuro wasn’t hiding under the bed and Strider wasn’t an enemy, and that no, Iemitsu really hadn’t said anything about letting his son become anyone’s wife during his absence.
“We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning,” Strider told them after their long discussions about Trust and Betrayal and Marriage was over. “You’ll sleep here, the four of you. Just in case.”
“What, you think we’ll be attacked?” Lambo asked, but ended up gurgling instead when Strider kicked him to the other side of the room. Gokudera nodded approvingly and Tsunayoshi sighed with dismay - it seems that the newest addition to their group would tolerate Lambo even less than Gokudera did.
“I can sense Black Riders nearby,” Strider said. “And they have, without a doubt, spies here in the Bree.”
“Who are those Black Riders?” Yamamoto asked.
“Enemies. That’s all you need to know for now.”
“You aren’t really nice, are you?”
“I don’t get paid for being nice. I get paid for doing my job and keeping you lot alive. Now shut up and go to sleep, and be prepared to wake up and escape quickly if something happens.”
“Huh?”
n that very evening, eight out of nine Black Riders broke into young Tsunayoshi’s house, only to find it empty.
“Shit. I thought he’d have waited a few more days, at least.”
“I told you we should have come here earlier!”
“Well, I thought he’d be more like his father… who needs a lifetime to get from point A to point B.”
“HAHI? He’s really not here? Where is he, then?”
“Bree, most likely.”
“I think so too. Luckily Uni is there - she’ll handle the situation long enough for us to reach her and help a bit. Ready to dool, kids?”
“Ready to… what, Iris?”
“Dool.”
“Tsch, fucking bitches,” a notably darker, angrier voice growled from the doorway. “Let’s stop wasting our time here if the trash is elsewhere.” The other seven Black Riders stared at the eighth who wasn’t the sort to wait for anyone.
“Xanxia sure is a bitch, isn’t she?” whined one of the Riders.
“That’s just how she is, Iris.”
“Come on, everyone,” a kind voice interrupted the conversation. “We really need to get going. Besides… I really want to be the first one to reach Sawada Tsunayoshi and use my sword on him.” With that the woman left, while the remaining six stood in a dumbfounded silence.
“Does she hate Tsunayoshi that much?”
“Oh no,” said one of the Riders. “She just… you… you know what her sword can do. And… and… I’ll tell you more when you’re older.”
“HAHI!?”
“Let’s just say,” the rider muttered dejectedly. “That Nana never wanted a son.”
sunayoshi woke up with a start, and shuddered. It felt as if someone Evil was talking about him in that ominous, dissatisfied manner. Then the brunet glanced around him, and shuddered again. Why was Gokudera sleeping so… close?
“You’re awake? Good,” Strider said, catching the boy’s attention. “My primal instincts are telling me that the enemy is near. Wake the other ones and we better leave unless you want to become steak for the Black Horses.”
“Black Horses?”
“By mere logic one can conclude that the horse shaped things the Black Riders ride are horses. Therefore they’re Black Horses. Now stop wasting time on useless questions and get to work, Loser-Tsuna.” Unwilling to challenge the dangerous man Tsunayoshi did as told, not even halting when a suspicious voice started whispering in his mind.
‘Shishishi… I’m in your pocket, sweet stuff~ How about putting me on?’
The voice was, without a doubt, extremely creepy even without the strange and perverted laughter. It reminded him somewhat of Mukuro, except that Mukuro had hands to go along with the voice (unfortunately).
‘Hey cutie~ You can hear me, can’t you? No one can resist me so just put me on already. It’s boring here, can you feel me?’
Ignoring the voice would have been easier, had it not been accompanied by a suspicious sort of background music. Why did his father leave something like this for his only son? Why couldn’t he get something simple, like a music box? Tsunayoshi was sure that he’d end up in a madhouse because of this shady ring.
In a few minutes Gokudera, Yamamoto and Lambo were all awake and packing their bags hastily. Luckily they hadn’t brought much and soon Strider was leading them out through the backdoor. Tsunayoshi had no problems with being quiet, but… it sure made the ring talkative. What a chatterbox! From what his father and Mukuro had said, Tsunayoshi had thought that the ring was important… but how can something so… stupid, perverted and arrogant be also feared and valued?
‘Because I’m a prince!’ the ring crowed inside the brunet’s head.
‘Excuse me, what?’ the said brunet thought with bewilderment.
‘Shishishi… why are you so surprised? You knew that I am special.’
‘How is a prince special?’
‘How am I not? My dear Tsunayoshi~ I can fulfil any dreams you might have if you put me on! So why am I still in your pocket?’
‘I just don’t see your appeal,’ the young brunet admitted in a bout of misguided honesty, rendering the evil ring speechless in a shocked stupor, thus giving Tsunayoshi the chance to focus on where he was actually walking. That was wise, actually, since making any accidental physical contact with Strider was bound to be fatal, even for an unwilling hero.
“Where are we heading to?” Yamamoto asked.
“Weathertop,” Strider replied. “From there we can go to Rivendell. You kids better hope that the Riders aren’t hiding in some bushes.”
“Just what are they?” Lambo asked again. “The Black Riders?”
“You’ll know when I think you’re fit to know.”
“Oh? Do we have to mature more or something?”
“No. I’m just too lazy to explain anything right now. Shut up and follow me.”
“The only road from here to Weathertop goes through the wilderness,” Yamamoto said. “It’s dangerous!”
“Every single person will die one day. Some just live longer.”
“You sure know how to get philosophical, huh?” Tsunayoshi muttered dryly. “How do you know Mukuro anyway? You don’t seem like the sort to hang out with someone like him.”
“I know him through unfortunate events, Sawada. The same way I got to know your father too.”
“Oh, okay.” That didn’t sound good. It sounded typical for Tsunayoshi’s father, but it didn’t sound good. “How long will it take us to reach Weathertop?” the brunet asked Yamamoto.
“If we walk like this without incidents, we should reach it by tomorrow midday.”
“Today midday,” Lambo corrected. “I’m sure that it’s past midnight already.”
“Yeah, fine. Today.”
Tsunayoshi’s Intuition was mouthing the words ‘Never, Tsu-kun. Neverrr ~~’
sunayoshi’s Intuition had the bad habit of being right. A bad, unbreakable habit, Tsunayoshi knew that when five Black Riders attacked them a bit before they were to reach Weathertop. From the brunet’s point of view the short battle involved lots of blackness… which was probably normal, considering who the opponents were.
‘Shishishi… wear me and I can hide you from them~’ the ring whispered, and since hiding sounded really good to Tsunayoshi right then, he complied. And as soon as he did so, he realized that he could see the Riders very clearly - faces and all. One of the Riders was suddenly hovering above the scared boy, who couldn’t stop staring at the sharp, light pink sword. Till he glanced at the Rider just before the weapon swing down at him.
“Mom!?”
His voice went unheard - perhaps he hadn’t spoken at all, only shouting in his head - as he felt a piercing pain when the sword hit his shoulder. Another pain, not physical and located closer to the heart, hurt much worse as he looked up at a face he thought he’d never see alive again.
His mother, Nana, had her typical gentle expression as she looked down at her only son. Her eyes weren’t angry, hateful or even hostile. They were kind, loving and sparkling with happiness. The sounds of the fight faded from Tsunayoshi’s ears and he felt his eyes filling with tears.
“Mother…” he whispered, hand pressed against his wound. He wanted to go closer to her, but something was stopping him. Maybe it was his Intuition that was sending an extremely panicked SOS ASAP PLZ message to anyone who’d know telepathy, thank you, and no Galadriel, you’re way to far to jog here in two minutes and put down that spork. Or maybe it was the fact that Nana was still pointing that pink, sharp weapon at him.
“It won’t kill you,” his mother said softly. “My sword cannot kill.” Really? Why did he feel so woozy then?
“I missed you…” Tsunayoshi whispered, feeling faint.
“I never wanted a son,” Nana stated calmly, looking directly at the boy. “I wanted a daughter.”
Ask, and ye shall receive.
t took some cheating and dirty tricks to chase away the five Riders, and Strider was really happy that the five weren’t the strongest - it seemed that Xanxia, Iris, Uni and I-pin (as the strongest four were known) were elsewhere.
“He’s dying!” Gokudera wailed, catching the man’s attention. “My darling is dead!”
“He’s still breathing, though,” Lambo muttered, poking the slightly glowing wound, before Strider pushed him aside.
“I can’t heal this here. Loser-Tsuna must be taken to Rivendell quickly, or we won’t be able to save him. If we cross the river of Hoarwell and head through the troll-country and back to the Road, I’m sure that we’ll bump into someone useful.”
“You sound so sure about that.”
“Things tend to sort themselves out if we don’t poke them too much,” Strider revealed, and threw the unconscious Tsunayoshi onto his horse. “Let’s go before his condition gets worse.”
“Tenth,” Gokudera was whimpering, looking ready to either cry or kill something black. “I’ll avenge you.”
“He’s not dead yet,” Yamamoto reminded him kindly. “He’ll pull through, don’t worry.” Lambo too would have said something, had he not been too busy staring at Tsunayoshi’s arse - the boy was bent over his horse and Lambo had always known that you’d need a dead libido to not occasionally notice Tsunayoshi’s finer body parts.
And so, they went forward. Gokudera was obsessively watching Tsunayoshi, wailing every now and then in misery. Strider had the blank sort of expression that told everyone around him in no uncertain terms that he was Extremely Bored. Apparently the boredom that had been kept at pay with the amusement derived from bullying Tsunayoshi had finally managed to catch up to the ranger.
Yamamoto was trying to be optimistic. The weather was nice, the company was alright, they were all alive - majority more certainly than the minority - and they were capable of upholding a steady pace that would take them to their destination well enough.
They rode for hours, stopped a few times and rode some more. Lambo started complaining about the lack of proper cushioning. The youngest in the group was clearly missing the comfortable home and fine meals.
Then, when they camped, Strider checked on Tsunayoshi again and felt that the boy wasn’t going to be a boy for much longer (a part of him also wondered why a dangerous enemy would be swinging a Gender Bending sword around. Then he decisively opted to not think about it)unless something miraculous happened and quickly. Barely had he voiced his thoughts when he saw a figure on a horse riding closer.
“Is it an enemy?” Gokudera asked, clearly alarmed and reaching for his explosives. Strider shook his head, recognizing the approaching person.
“No. Or well, depends. Right now I don’t think so,” the man stated, and stood up. It didn’t take long for the newcomer to reach them, and it turned out to be a beautiful young woman who jumped from the horse right onto Strider.
“Reborn,” she sighed dreamily, arms wrapping around the man who was trying to detach himself from her.
“Bianchi,” he greeted. “I need a favour.”
“Anything for you, my love~”
“Wait,” Lambo started. “How did she find her way here?” The woman - Bianchi - levelled him with a stare that clearly expressed her thoughts about the curly-haired boy’s intelligence and maturity.
“Love leads my steps,” she deadpanned. “No matter which road I opt to walk on, it will take me to Reborn, the man I love.”
“Huh, so that’s how you always find me,” Strider - or Reborn as this newcomer kept calling him - groaned. “I was starting to wonder…”
“What is this favour you wish for me to do?” Bianchi asked, batting her eyelashes at the man. “Any sort of… service?”
“Not now. I just need you to take that breathing corpse there to Rivendell using your impossibly fast elf-horse,” Strider stated, and nodded towards the unevenly wheezing Tsunayoshi. Bianchi stared at the young brunet for a while, before nodding slowly.
“I suppose I have to,” she said, and hauled the boy onto her own horse. “I’ll wait for you in Rivendell, my love. Be safe.”
In response Strider muttered something that vaguely sounded like a negative response.
_____________________________________________________________________
A/N: The first part is here. I hope you like it. Please keep in mind that this is not complete yet! It has at least four parts :D
Part 2
Author: Pain au Chocolat
Language: English.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters used in this fiction. Everything belongs to Akira Amano and the original plot of LotR belongs to J. R. R. Tolkien.
Rating & Warnings: R for Retarded. AU, OOC, gayness, x-over, parody, lime, grammar and spelling abuse, no sense whatsoever… KHR. Characters are OOC - I’m saying this again just in case someone missed it. This is parody and will most probably ruin the LotR for you.
Summary: It’s a KHR-fied LotR parody. Read if you can
Pairing: Squalo x Tsuna, a bit of manyTsuna
_____________________________________________________________________
This is what I would have submitted for the 5th eDoujin, but…it got too long...
_____________________________________________________________________
t was noisy, but then again parties tended to be so. Especially the parties organized by Sawada Iemitsu, the flashy and quite eccentric father of one Sawada Tsunayoshi, who would rather die than admit the blood relation out loud.
At any case, Iemitsu had decided to hold a celebration for his nth birthday - nobody knew quite how old the man was, since he was surprisingly tight-lipped about that fact. However, free food was free food, and therefore any questions could be ignored till the day after. Nobody was insane enough to risk getting kicked out of The Party of the century just because they wanted to know a technically speaking irrelevant number!
Tsunayoshi was hiding under a table - his Intuition was telling him rather profoundly that something bad was about to happen. And as usual, it was right; it had been barely two hours after start of the party when a firework mishap happened, lighting two tents and several mops of hair aflame. With morbid fascination the young brunet watched people running around screaming, laughing and some even singing.
‘How someone can ignore tents on fire and focus on singing, I will never know,’ Tsunayoshi thought while watching warily how Guiseppe wandered aimlessly, obviously drunk and tone deaf. ‘I wish for this to be over already.’
But, bad things tended to either appear in herds of several dozens misfortunes, or just last a lifetime.
This one, had anyone asked Tsunayoshi, seemed to last a lifetime. Several lifetimes, in fact. And when he saw his father asking for the crowd to quiet down for the sake of a speech he was no doubt about to unleash, this particular misery seemed to extend from a lifetime of an elf to simple eternity.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Iemitsu started. “Supposing that there are any real ones present right now, you peasants.”
“You would know!” someone - the voice sounded a bit like that guy, Moretti - laughed loudly.
“Yes, well, I admit to knowing you lot much better than what’s wise. Anyway, folks… I have lived here with you for many, many years.”
“Many more than you’d like to admit!” another voice yelled cheerfully, and Tsunayoshi crawled from under the table and inconspicuously joined the audience. Something was going on. His no-good father was up to something. He could feel it.
“Stop with the interruptions, dammit,” Iemitsu growled. “What I’m trying to tell you is that I have lived here a long happy life. Occasionally I have roamed these lands of Middle Earth and enjoyed that too. Here or there; I have liked both. However, I have… um… spent a long time here, so…”
‘He looks fidgety,’ Tsunayoshi thought with clear suspicion. ‘Uh-huh. He’s definitely done something crazy again.’
“So,” his father was saying, grinning widely. “It’s time for me to go again. From Here to There.”
And with those words, Sawada Iemitsu suddenly vanished, leaving his audience struck with surprise, till someone thought that surprise was as good of a reason as anything else to start a food fight, and in a span of few minutes the whole population of Namimori - a place known to the outsiders as the Shire - was involved, bar few key characters.
sunayoshi - who decisively was Not Worried about his father, ran towards Bag End, blissfully unaware of an obsessed stalker trailing after him. The brunet reached his home, and barged in to find his father packing.
“You!” Tsunayoshi screamed, pointing at the now guiltily fidgeting father. “What are you up to!? What did you do?”
“Hey, show some respect! I’m your fa-“
“Spill.”
“Fine,” Iemitsu relented. “But first there’s a guest we have to let in. That Grey Wizard friend of mine. You remember him, don’t you?”
“Ugh.” Tsunayoshi wished he could forget. “That creep.”
“Kufufufu… your words hurt me, my dear Tsunayoshi~” a familiar voice said right behind the brunet, who shrieked and dived under a table.
“You got in?” Iemitsu half-stated, half-asked.
“No lock could keep me away from Tsun- I mean… duty,” the Grey Wizard, a very handsome man with mismatched eyes of red and blue said smugly. Rokudo Mukuro was one of those people Tsunayoshi knew, but wished desperately that he didn’t.
“Why is he here!?”
“Well, son, there’s something important we need to talk about,” Iemitsu said, and dug out a ring. “Do you know what this is?”
“A ring,” Tsunayoshi said. “And an ugly one at that.” At this both Man and Wizard blinked with confusion.
“You do not… find it alluring?” Iemitsu asked.
“I’m not ring-o-sexual,” his son snapped. “And you can stop waggling your eyebrows, Mukuro, I don’t want to know what you do with rings.”
“But, wait,” Iemitsu said, waving his arms. “This isn’t right. Look at this ring, boy, look at it. Doesn’t it… you know, shine?”
“That’s what happens when you keep it in Detoxil overnight.”
“No. I didn’t mean that kind of shine. Isn’t it precious?”
“… no.”
“Look, I don’t think we’re on the same page here.”
“I don’t think that we’re even in the same book, father.” Iemitsu stared at the brown eyes of his son that peeked at him from under the table. So Tsunayoshi didn’t find the ring alluring at all? He didn’t hear any inviting voices and… and… didn’t suffer from odd possessiveness? Well, that was alright. What’s better than giving the ring to someone who didn’t want it?
“It’s yours from now on, Tsunayoshi,” Iemitsu said kindly. “I’m leaving, but I want you to have it.”
“No thanks.”
“Accept it,” Mukuro advised. “Sure, it’s not our engagement ring, so you have to keep your ring finger fr-urk!” Having an umbrella suddenly shoved down someone’s throat wasn’t a nice sensation. Honestly.
“Why do I have to have it?” Tsunayoshi asked, and Iemitsu sighed tiredly.
“You see… That ring is Evil,” Mukuro said after getting the umbrella out his- uh, well. After getting the umbrella out. “It has to be destroyed by someone who doesn’t want it, for the sake of preventing any last-minute possessiveness that will ruin the whole plot and kill dozens of innocents.”
“And what does that have to do with me?”
“Well, boy,” Iemitsu grinned, in a desperate attempt to come across as if he knew what he was doing. “You’re the one who’s gonna do it. Destroy the ring. All you have to do is to take the Evil to the Root of All Evil where every Evil is at its strongest, and then defeat ‘em all.”
“…”
“You see… there have been rumours of strange things happening outside of our dear Namimori. Unfortunately those rumours aren’t baseless - the Dark Power is rising in the Land of Mordor. This ring is actually the greatest of the Rings of Power, and was made ages ago by this dude called Byakuran, the Dark Lord of Mordor-“
“He wears an awfully lot of white to be a proper Dark Lord, though,” Mukuro couldn’t help but add.
“Byakuran is now searching for that ring,” Iemitsu continued. “And if he gets it, his power will grow immensely and he will rule every place in this world. To prevent that the ring has to be destroyed in Orodruin, the Mount of Doom in Mordor.”
“Why can’t we just hide this damned ring here?” Tsunayoshi asked. “Why must we defy logic, survival instincts and common sense by galloping right under his nose with what he wants?”
“Well, this is a bit awkward,” Iemitsu started fidgeting again, making his son sigh tiredly.
“You did something, didn’t you?”
“Uh… not really. But you see, the guy from whom I… uh… acquired-“
“Stole.”
“Acquired. The guy from whom I got the ring was a bit pissed off I suppose and went to tell Byakuran about it. The guy’s name is Levi, by the way. If you ever meet him, feel free to stab him. To death, thanks.”
“What do you mean if I ever meet him?” Tsunayoshi asked sternly. “Were you serious about sending me - your only son - to save the world from a life-threatening danger and a demonic enemy while you’re having picnics all across the globe?”
“Uh…”
“Don’t worry,” Mukuro interrupted. “What we’re asking from you is very simple - just take the ring to the elves of Rivendell.”
“Why can’t one of you take it?”
“Because I’d rather keep it with myself,” Iemitsu admitted honestly, still clutching the sparkling ring. “And Mukuro would end up remoulding it into an engagement ring.”
“Point.”
“And why would I agree?” Tsunayoshi asked, finally crawling from under the table for good. “I’m not willing to risk myself to save the world. You do it. Or find another hero.”
“No,” Iemitsu said. “Stop being so spineless.”
“I’m being cautious.”
“Do it, Tsunayoshi,” Mukuro pleaded with an odd smirk. “I’ll give you chocolate.”
“No.”
“Say yes or I’ll lick the chocolate off you.”
And so Sawada Tsunayoshi was forced to pick the lesser of two Evils, and say ‘yes’. Mukuro wasn’t sure whether he was happy about that or not. Especially since after half a minute from Tsunayoshi’s agreement, a certain silver-haired stalker stumbled into the room, offering his services for the trip.
emitsu left, and Mukuro left reluctantly a bit after him. Tsunayoshi stood silently for a while watching his stalker - Gokudera Hayato - who was still kneeling, before the brunet decided to grab something to eat before making any rash decisions. The ring in his pocket was almost weightless and didn’t feel hot, which made it seem like any other ring. How could it be Evil? A mere ring? That would be like Voldemort saying “It wasn’t me, it was the wand!”
“Tenth,” Gokudera started, using the nickname he was so fond of. Years ago when Gokudera and Tsunayoshi had met for the first time, the silver-haired boy hadn’t know Tsunayoshi’s name, opting to call him by the number on his shirt instead. Sometimes the brunet wondered what Gokudera would have called him, had he put on his ‘1989.55’ shirt. Not that he owned one.
“Use my name, Gokudera.”
“Are you really going to leave Namimori?”
“Yes.”
“You absolutely sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. What of it?”
“Well then,” Gokudera said in a slightly rebellious manner. “I’m coming with you.”
“Surely not,” Tsunayoshi replied. “You have to stay here, Gokudera. I don’t want you to risk your life-“
“I would do it for you!” the silver-haired boy exclaimed. “I… I would rather die than let you go alone! Please, let me go with you!”
“Mukuro gave me some instructions, you know. And while many of them have too much to do with bedroom acts, there were some important things as well. Gokudera, we’re going to a world that won’t be grateful for our interference. We’re going to a world where Evil is stronger than eve before. We might die, our precious people might die, and it’s pure hell out there.”
“As long as I’m with you, I don’t care,” Gokudera swore. “I’m coming even if I have to follow you on my own!”
“Fine,” Tsunayoshi snapped. “Do what you wish. Come with me. But there’s no life insurance.”
“I will protect you,” Gokudera all but sang, clutching the brunet’s hands tightly. “With my soul. And heart. And body. I’ll be with you forever. Only death will do us apart.” Carefully Tsunayoshi detached himself, and took a step back.
“Alright. I’ll just organize everything here, check on the people who’ll wonder about my father, and then prepare to leave.”
“I’ll carry your bags for you!”
“Uh… no thanks. Just don’t add to my burden.”
“Huh?”
“Like,” Tsunayoshi said awkwardly. “No need to hang onto me all the time. Personal space, you know.”
“Oh, alright,” replied Gokudera, thinking that while touching would be a no-no, there would be many opportunities to watch…
“We’ll meet Mukuro again at an inn - he gave me the address to it. He left to gather useful information for a week or so,” Tsunayoshi told his friend. “I suppose I’ll wait here for a few days - if he doesn’t return, I’ll just go forward to the inn he told me about.”
“And if we don’t find him there?”
“Then we must go to Rivendell without him.”
“What, wait, Rivendell!? As in the place where the elves live?”
“Yep. That one.”
Tsuna then proceeded to tell Gokudera what his father and Mukuro had told him, completely unaware of the two eavesdroppers hiding outside his window…
he following few days passed quickly in a blur, as Tsunayoshi did his best to settle the chaos his father had left behind. As if that wasn’t energy-consuming enough, having a chronic bad feeling and… and…
“Lambo,” the brunet hissed. “What are you doing here, camping in front of my door?”
“I’m enjoying the weather,” the younger boy said cheerfully. “And waiting for Yama.”
“Oh yeah,” Tsunayoshi muttered, realizing that he hadn’t seen his tall friend for a while. “Where is he?” Yamamoto Takeshi was one of Tsunayoshi’s closest friends and distant relatives.
“Haven’t you wondered why people aren’t crowding up here, Sawada?” Lambo asked. “He did it. He’s been protecting you and redirecting unwanted guests ever since your father disappeared. Ah, what an outstanding young man. Truly, if I was ever to go outside of Namimori I’d take him with me.” At this Tsunayoshi felt very grateful towards Yamamoto, while his Intuition was showing the red card. Something was off.
“I, too,” Lambo continued. “If anyone was to tell me to go on a trip right now, I would! I’m ready for it, you see? I’m itching to go on a trip!”
“Great,” Tsunayoshi grunted, preparing to close the door. “Go. See you when you come back.” He was about to shut the other boy outside, when Lambo threw himself against the still half-open door.
“I know about you going to the Outside World!” Lambo blurted. “And we want to go with you!”
“I don’t know how you found out, but you’re NOT coming with me.”
“Do you really think that going alone with Gokudera is a good idea!?”
"...You have a point there. But wouldn't bringing both you and Yamamoto make it worse? The three of you fight almost every single time you see each other."
"Though that's usually Gokudera's fault," Tsunayoshi added under his breath. “At any case, you’re not coming with m-“
“WAAAAAHH!” Lambo’s loud crying made the brunet twitch with annoyance. The sound was hurting his ears and made him feel a little bit bad too. Not to mention that Lambo’s tears were soaking the carpet of the hallway.
“Okay, stop,” Tsunayoshi ordered after seven minutes and twenty seven seconds. “You can come with me. Just stop that noise.”
And so it was decided that four young boys would set out to save the world.
hich one of you has the map?” Lambo asked.
“There’s one damned road in front of us, dork,” Gokudera growled, looking like Satan on a bad hair day. “We’ll dig out the map later.”
“We ought to head toward Brandywine river,” Yamamoto said. “Since we’re going to be chased by some evil guys who want the ring.”
“Who’d you know that?”
“Haha, a guess.”
“A guess my arse.”
“Guys,” Tsunayoshi admonished, turning towards the three while attempting a rather pitiful glare. “Stop being like that or you’ll end up like David.”
“Who the hell is David?”
“Precisely. So shut up.”
“Did you understand that?” Lambo whispered, and Yamamoto shook his head.
“Maybe it’s another Sawada-oddity. You know their eccentric sense of humour.”
‘I can totally hear them talking about me,’ Tsunayoshi thought with dismay. ‘Damn you stupid father. When I find you again the first thing I do is to beat you up. Then I’ll kill the Root Of All Evil that goes by the name ‘Mukuro’.’
“The sun will be setting soon,” Gokudera noted. “Have we really been walking for so long?”
“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Lambo chortled. “How much till we reach the River?”
“Hours,” Yamamoto replied. “It’s a long way to go on feet.”
‘Well excuse me for not getting us a carriage,’ Tsunayoshi thought frostily, before something else caught his attention. “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?” Lambo asked.
“It sounds like a horse,” Yamamoto muttered, while Tsunayoshi’s Intuition was once again going haywire.
“Let’s hide under that dark, rotten tree, from where we can peek up at the dangerous enemy without being seen,” the brunet said, and was the first to dive into safety. It took less than a second for the other three to invade his personal bubble in an attempt to hide, as a dark figure one an even darker horse stopped few feet away from their hiding place.
Right then, the ring Tsunayoshi had managed to successfully ignore so far, showed some of its Evil Powers and whispered into its bearer’s mind promises of ‘gold and silver and eternal life and pleasure if you put me on your ring finger, you pretty little thing. Yes, yeeeeesss… Shishishi…’
Uh… that went to a new level of disturbing and Hell would freeze over before the brunet would wear that ring.
“We have to hurry towards the River and cross it,” Yamamoto whispered, lips pressed against Tsunayoshi’s ear, making the latter rather uncomfortable. His brown eyes were still fixed on the dark figure, feeling more and more as if he should recognize him. It. And only when the rider left, did he dare to reply.
“Yes,” he said. “We have to hurry. Like, no seven lunch breaks or half-dozen breakfasts till we reach relative safety.”
“Actually if we’re aiming away from here, we can just go through the Old Forest,” Gokudera reminded them.“
“Thank you,” Tsunayoshi stated. “The obvious never occurred to me. Do you know the way?”
“I do,” Lambo spoke up, gaining three incredulous glances. “What? I can be useful too!”
“I’ll believe that when I see it happen,” Gokudera deadpanned. “Till then you’ll be the cry baby loser I have come to know you as.”
“SO CRUEL!” Lambo wailed. “To…le…rate…Waaaahhh!!”
“I think it’s safer to go around the forest and directly through the Barrow-downs,” Yamamoto said suddenly.
“Safer?” Gokudera scoffed. “Those hills are full of those ancient barrows, and you know what sorts of legends have been told about the place!”
“Listen, guys,” Tsunayoshi said. “Instead of going through screwed up places like the Old Forest and the Barrow-downs… how about we just go directly to the Bree? Yes, I know it won’t be an exciting tale to tell, but I’m really not too fond of risking my life just to gloat about it later.”
“You’re right as always, Tenth!” Gokudera exclaimed. “Directly to the Bree! Sounds brilliant!”
“Yeah. Direct road, best road!”
“Bree - here we come directly!”
“Uh, thanks. Let’s just get going now, alright?”
uch to Tsunayoshi’s happiness, the party of four reached the village of Bree in two days. Sure, they were dirty and tired and hungry - but they were alive and uninjured and without any traumatic experiences. Adding to their luck, Gokudera found the way to The Prancing Pony - the inn Mukuro supposedly would meet them in - rather easily.
In the inn itself were many sort of creatures, and while hobbits and mankind shared a startlingly similar outer appearance, the other races - such as Talking Horses - were easy to recognize. It wasn’t long after they entered when Tsunayoshi spotted a lone man sitting in the furthest corner of the inn. At the sight of this man the young brunet’s Intuition tried to signal the orders of screwing the world and going back home to hide under some table. And if that didn’t work, then just find a table and hide under it.
“Who’s that?” Tsunayoshi asked a random stranger.
“He’s a mysterious Ranger,” said the random stranger. “We know him as Strider. I suggest avoiding him - he’s mean. And nasty. And ridiculously evil.”
“Oh,” replied the ring bearer, and promptly turned his back to the dark figure. ‘He’s looking over here, isn’t he? I knew it! Damn you, Mukuro… You’re so dead when I find you again…’
“Let’s get a room for tonight,” Gokudera grinned and his beloved Tenth didn’t want to think of the implications in that statement. Tsunayoshi told him to proceed and sent both Lambo and Yamamoto to watch and keep the silver-haired boy from doing anything… explosive. The brunet had stood alone for barely a minute, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Sawada Tsunayoshi, I presume?” a mocking voice whispered against Tsunayoshi’s ear, making the boy shriek and turn. It was Strider, whose black eyes gleamed with something akin to sardonic mirth. “I’m here to take you to Mukuro - who owes me now a favour. I’ll be your guide and lead you to Rivendell where you’re without a doubt heading to.”
“Uh-huh,” Tsunayoshi twitched awkwardly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, mister Strider.”
“Listen, Loser-Tsuna,” the stranger said in a rather bored voice. “Without me you’ll get killed on the way. With me you will live. It doesn’t matter whether or not you trust me because what I say goes, go it?”
“I… I’ll have to consult my companions first.”
“Your sidekicks will agree to anything you do.”
“Yes well, but it’s a formality. To avoid all the future ‘we’re in this mess because of you’ scenes. Now I’m giving them an option to back out.” Strider’s dark eyes were clearly full of mirth when the man stared at the young brunet for a little while, before nodding slowly.
“Very well.”
And so, in approximately twenty minutes Tsunayoshi was leading his three faithful companions into a room where Strider was waiting. Then it took the better part of three hours to convince Gokudera that no, Mukuro wasn’t hiding under the bed and Strider wasn’t an enemy, and that no, Iemitsu really hadn’t said anything about letting his son become anyone’s wife during his absence.
“We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning,” Strider told them after their long discussions about Trust and Betrayal and Marriage was over. “You’ll sleep here, the four of you. Just in case.”
“What, you think we’ll be attacked?” Lambo asked, but ended up gurgling instead when Strider kicked him to the other side of the room. Gokudera nodded approvingly and Tsunayoshi sighed with dismay - it seems that the newest addition to their group would tolerate Lambo even less than Gokudera did.
“I can sense Black Riders nearby,” Strider said. “And they have, without a doubt, spies here in the Bree.”
“Who are those Black Riders?” Yamamoto asked.
“Enemies. That’s all you need to know for now.”
“You aren’t really nice, are you?”
“I don’t get paid for being nice. I get paid for doing my job and keeping you lot alive. Now shut up and go to sleep, and be prepared to wake up and escape quickly if something happens.”
“Huh?”
n that very evening, eight out of nine Black Riders broke into young Tsunayoshi’s house, only to find it empty.
“Shit. I thought he’d have waited a few more days, at least.”
“I told you we should have come here earlier!”
“Well, I thought he’d be more like his father… who needs a lifetime to get from point A to point B.”
“HAHI? He’s really not here? Where is he, then?”
“Bree, most likely.”
“I think so too. Luckily Uni is there - she’ll handle the situation long enough for us to reach her and help a bit. Ready to dool, kids?”
“Ready to… what, Iris?”
“Dool.”
“Tsch, fucking bitches,” a notably darker, angrier voice growled from the doorway. “Let’s stop wasting our time here if the trash is elsewhere.” The other seven Black Riders stared at the eighth who wasn’t the sort to wait for anyone.
“Xanxia sure is a bitch, isn’t she?” whined one of the Riders.
“That’s just how she is, Iris.”
“Come on, everyone,” a kind voice interrupted the conversation. “We really need to get going. Besides… I really want to be the first one to reach Sawada Tsunayoshi and use my sword on him.” With that the woman left, while the remaining six stood in a dumbfounded silence.
“Does she hate Tsunayoshi that much?”
“Oh no,” said one of the Riders. “She just… you… you know what her sword can do. And… and… I’ll tell you more when you’re older.”
“HAHI!?”
“Let’s just say,” the rider muttered dejectedly. “That Nana never wanted a son.”
sunayoshi woke up with a start, and shuddered. It felt as if someone Evil was talking about him in that ominous, dissatisfied manner. Then the brunet glanced around him, and shuddered again. Why was Gokudera sleeping so… close?
“You’re awake? Good,” Strider said, catching the boy’s attention. “My primal instincts are telling me that the enemy is near. Wake the other ones and we better leave unless you want to become steak for the Black Horses.”
“Black Horses?”
“By mere logic one can conclude that the horse shaped things the Black Riders ride are horses. Therefore they’re Black Horses. Now stop wasting time on useless questions and get to work, Loser-Tsuna.” Unwilling to challenge the dangerous man Tsunayoshi did as told, not even halting when a suspicious voice started whispering in his mind.
‘Shishishi… I’m in your pocket, sweet stuff~ How about putting me on?’
The voice was, without a doubt, extremely creepy even without the strange and perverted laughter. It reminded him somewhat of Mukuro, except that Mukuro had hands to go along with the voice (unfortunately).
‘Hey cutie~ You can hear me, can’t you? No one can resist me so just put me on already. It’s boring here, can you feel me?’
Ignoring the voice would have been easier, had it not been accompanied by a suspicious sort of background music. Why did his father leave something like this for his only son? Why couldn’t he get something simple, like a music box? Tsunayoshi was sure that he’d end up in a madhouse because of this shady ring.
In a few minutes Gokudera, Yamamoto and Lambo were all awake and packing their bags hastily. Luckily they hadn’t brought much and soon Strider was leading them out through the backdoor. Tsunayoshi had no problems with being quiet, but… it sure made the ring talkative. What a chatterbox! From what his father and Mukuro had said, Tsunayoshi had thought that the ring was important… but how can something so… stupid, perverted and arrogant be also feared and valued?
‘Because I’m a prince!’ the ring crowed inside the brunet’s head.
‘Excuse me, what?’ the said brunet thought with bewilderment.
‘Shishishi… why are you so surprised? You knew that I am special.’
‘How is a prince special?’
‘How am I not? My dear Tsunayoshi~ I can fulfil any dreams you might have if you put me on! So why am I still in your pocket?’
‘I just don’t see your appeal,’ the young brunet admitted in a bout of misguided honesty, rendering the evil ring speechless in a shocked stupor, thus giving Tsunayoshi the chance to focus on where he was actually walking. That was wise, actually, since making any accidental physical contact with Strider was bound to be fatal, even for an unwilling hero.
“Where are we heading to?” Yamamoto asked.
“Weathertop,” Strider replied. “From there we can go to Rivendell. You kids better hope that the Riders aren’t hiding in some bushes.”
“Just what are they?” Lambo asked again. “The Black Riders?”
“You’ll know when I think you’re fit to know.”
“Oh? Do we have to mature more or something?”
“No. I’m just too lazy to explain anything right now. Shut up and follow me.”
“The only road from here to Weathertop goes through the wilderness,” Yamamoto said. “It’s dangerous!”
“Every single person will die one day. Some just live longer.”
“You sure know how to get philosophical, huh?” Tsunayoshi muttered dryly. “How do you know Mukuro anyway? You don’t seem like the sort to hang out with someone like him.”
“I know him through unfortunate events, Sawada. The same way I got to know your father too.”
“Oh, okay.” That didn’t sound good. It sounded typical for Tsunayoshi’s father, but it didn’t sound good. “How long will it take us to reach Weathertop?” the brunet asked Yamamoto.
“If we walk like this without incidents, we should reach it by tomorrow midday.”
“Today midday,” Lambo corrected. “I’m sure that it’s past midnight already.”
“Yeah, fine. Today.”
Tsunayoshi’s Intuition was mouthing the words ‘Never, Tsu-kun. Neverrr ~~’
sunayoshi’s Intuition had the bad habit of being right. A bad, unbreakable habit, Tsunayoshi knew that when five Black Riders attacked them a bit before they were to reach Weathertop. From the brunet’s point of view the short battle involved lots of blackness… which was probably normal, considering who the opponents were.
‘Shishishi… wear me and I can hide you from them~’ the ring whispered, and since hiding sounded really good to Tsunayoshi right then, he complied. And as soon as he did so, he realized that he could see the Riders very clearly - faces and all. One of the Riders was suddenly hovering above the scared boy, who couldn’t stop staring at the sharp, light pink sword. Till he glanced at the Rider just before the weapon swing down at him.
“Mom!?”
His voice went unheard - perhaps he hadn’t spoken at all, only shouting in his head - as he felt a piercing pain when the sword hit his shoulder. Another pain, not physical and located closer to the heart, hurt much worse as he looked up at a face he thought he’d never see alive again.
His mother, Nana, had her typical gentle expression as she looked down at her only son. Her eyes weren’t angry, hateful or even hostile. They were kind, loving and sparkling with happiness. The sounds of the fight faded from Tsunayoshi’s ears and he felt his eyes filling with tears.
“Mother…” he whispered, hand pressed against his wound. He wanted to go closer to her, but something was stopping him. Maybe it was his Intuition that was sending an extremely panicked SOS ASAP PLZ message to anyone who’d know telepathy, thank you, and no Galadriel, you’re way to far to jog here in two minutes and put down that spork. Or maybe it was the fact that Nana was still pointing that pink, sharp weapon at him.
“It won’t kill you,” his mother said softly. “My sword cannot kill.” Really? Why did he feel so woozy then?
“I missed you…” Tsunayoshi whispered, feeling faint.
“I never wanted a son,” Nana stated calmly, looking directly at the boy. “I wanted a daughter.”
Ask, and ye shall receive.
t took some cheating and dirty tricks to chase away the five Riders, and Strider was really happy that the five weren’t the strongest - it seemed that Xanxia, Iris, Uni and I-pin (as the strongest four were known) were elsewhere.
“He’s dying!” Gokudera wailed, catching the man’s attention. “My darling is dead!”
“He’s still breathing, though,” Lambo muttered, poking the slightly glowing wound, before Strider pushed him aside.
“I can’t heal this here. Loser-Tsuna must be taken to Rivendell quickly, or we won’t be able to save him. If we cross the river of Hoarwell and head through the troll-country and back to the Road, I’m sure that we’ll bump into someone useful.”
“You sound so sure about that.”
“Things tend to sort themselves out if we don’t poke them too much,” Strider revealed, and threw the unconscious Tsunayoshi onto his horse. “Let’s go before his condition gets worse.”
“Tenth,” Gokudera was whimpering, looking ready to either cry or kill something black. “I’ll avenge you.”
“He’s not dead yet,” Yamamoto reminded him kindly. “He’ll pull through, don’t worry.” Lambo too would have said something, had he not been too busy staring at Tsunayoshi’s arse - the boy was bent over his horse and Lambo had always known that you’d need a dead libido to not occasionally notice Tsunayoshi’s finer body parts.
And so, they went forward. Gokudera was obsessively watching Tsunayoshi, wailing every now and then in misery. Strider had the blank sort of expression that told everyone around him in no uncertain terms that he was Extremely Bored. Apparently the boredom that had been kept at pay with the amusement derived from bullying Tsunayoshi had finally managed to catch up to the ranger.
Yamamoto was trying to be optimistic. The weather was nice, the company was alright, they were all alive - majority more certainly than the minority - and they were capable of upholding a steady pace that would take them to their destination well enough.
They rode for hours, stopped a few times and rode some more. Lambo started complaining about the lack of proper cushioning. The youngest in the group was clearly missing the comfortable home and fine meals.
Then, when they camped, Strider checked on Tsunayoshi again and felt that the boy wasn’t going to be a boy for much longer (a part of him also wondered why a dangerous enemy would be swinging a Gender Bending sword around. Then he decisively opted to not think about it)unless something miraculous happened and quickly. Barely had he voiced his thoughts when he saw a figure on a horse riding closer.
“Is it an enemy?” Gokudera asked, clearly alarmed and reaching for his explosives. Strider shook his head, recognizing the approaching person.
“No. Or well, depends. Right now I don’t think so,” the man stated, and stood up. It didn’t take long for the newcomer to reach them, and it turned out to be a beautiful young woman who jumped from the horse right onto Strider.
“Reborn,” she sighed dreamily, arms wrapping around the man who was trying to detach himself from her.
“Bianchi,” he greeted. “I need a favour.”
“Anything for you, my love~”
“Wait,” Lambo started. “How did she find her way here?” The woman - Bianchi - levelled him with a stare that clearly expressed her thoughts about the curly-haired boy’s intelligence and maturity.
“Love leads my steps,” she deadpanned. “No matter which road I opt to walk on, it will take me to Reborn, the man I love.”
“Huh, so that’s how you always find me,” Strider - or Reborn as this newcomer kept calling him - groaned. “I was starting to wonder…”
“What is this favour you wish for me to do?” Bianchi asked, batting her eyelashes at the man. “Any sort of… service?”
“Not now. I just need you to take that breathing corpse there to Rivendell using your impossibly fast elf-horse,” Strider stated, and nodded towards the unevenly wheezing Tsunayoshi. Bianchi stared at the young brunet for a while, before nodding slowly.
“I suppose I have to,” she said, and hauled the boy onto her own horse. “I’ll wait for you in Rivendell, my love. Be safe.”
In response Strider muttered something that vaguely sounded like a negative response.
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A/N: The first part is here. I hope you like it. Please keep in mind that this is not complete yet! It has at least four parts :D
Part 2