The Round Ring of Doom. PART 3
Title: The Round Ring of Doom
Author: Pain au Chocolat
Language: English.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters used in this fiction. Everything belongs to Akira Amano and the original plot of LotR belongs to J. R. R. Tolkien.
Rating & Warnings: R for Retarded. AU, OOC, gayness, x-over, parody, lime, grammar and spelling abuse, no sense whatsoever… KHR. Characters are OOC - I’m saying this again just in case someone missed it. This is parody and will most probably ruin the LotR for you.
Summary: It’s a KHR-fied LotR parody. Read if you can
Pairing: Squalo x Tsuna, a bit of MukuTsuna, ByaTsuna, GokuTsuna and BelTsuna.
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This is what I would have submitted for the 5th eDoujin, but…
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hat do you mean they sneaked past us!?” Xanxia shrieked, throwing a bottle at Hana, who quickly ducked with a scowl on her face.
“Exactly what it sounds like! They sneaked past us and will be reaching the forest of Lórien soon.”
“Hehe, my son sure likes to play,” Nana whispered sweetly. “But he must realize that moms get what moms want. He’s just delaying the inevitable.”
“He is, isn’t he?” Iris muttered, munching some raspberries. “By the way, anyone got a word from the Big Boss?”
“No. He’s currently incapable of… ehm… speaking,” Uni said. “Instead the White Wizard-“
“Oh no, not him,” the puffy-haired woman groaned. “He’s…. he’s creepy.”
“You’re just upset that he didn’t fall for your balloon boobs,” Hana stated.
“Hahi!? Iris tried to seduce him?” Haru gasped. “How could you? He’s nasty!”
“He’s old,” I-pin said. “I bet that his first few birthday cards were written in the Old Language.”
“But he’s hot,” Iris shrugged. “Age has nothing to do with it, and it doesn’t show anyway. But he’s an asshole. And a fag.”
“How did he reject you?”
“Oh, he was the worst! Can you believe that he said that he’d rather be gay than to sleep with me and prove that he isn’t!?”
“Ouch,” most of the other Black Riders chorused, and even Xanxia grimaced. Or, well, smirked. Probably the latter, since it was Xanxia after all.
“So, what shall we do now?” Kyoko asked, polishing her multi-coloured sable. “Go after them?”
“We can’t enter Lórien. But my little birds can,” Uni said. “I’ll send one of them to watch, and it will inform us when they leave the wretched place again.”
hey had finally reached a forest. It was niceand there seemed to be some kind of a lovely hum going on. Not quite music, but not really singing either. Tsunayoshi liked it quite a lot. The place was so… full of light. Quite refreshing, truly.
Well, refreshing till someone pointed a sticky, half-melted lollipop at him.
“You stepped on one of my cables,” said the man who seemed to be… uh… the one commanding the bunch of… er… things behind him. “This is the forest of Lórien and no strangers should have a reason to enter it uninvited. Who are you? Speak quickly or I’ll make my Mosca-army trample you.”
“Spanner,” Squalo growled. “You still keep on building… these?”
“Superbi Squalo of That Third Elven Country I Can Never Quite Remember,” the elf called Spanner said monotonously. “What a surprise. Well, not really. Reborn, Son of What’shisface. What would the two of you be looking for here? We’re not buying or selling anything.”
“For heaven’s sake,” Reborn sighed. “Spanner. The only person in the world I have never quite known how to deal with.”
“We wish to meet Galadriel,” Squalo said. “Take us to her.”
“Uh-huh…” Spanner’s gaze slid to rest on Tsuna. “You can go no further.”
“Really?” Tsunayoshi asked hopefully, but Reborn seemed to be unhappy about that.
“Listen here, Spanner,” the Strider said. “This boy-“
“Brings a great Evil with him.”
“…no, his father isn’t with us.”
“I was talking about a different Evil.”
“He’s coming with us and we’re going to see Galadriel,” Squalo deadpanned. “Spanner, stop those Mosca-things and let us pass.”
“No.”
“I have lollipops for you.”
“No. I won’t be bribed.”
“Orange flavoured!”
“Tough. But no.”
At this point Tsunayoshi’s Intuition decided to butt in, giving strict instructions on what to do. Tsunayoshi didn’t like it, but man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Even if it was really… un-manly. So he took a deep breath, cursed the world a few times, and then stepped forward, catching Spanner’s attention. The man’s blue eyes widened as he saw the young brunet’s expression - wide brown eyes, white teeth biting the lower lip, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
“I want to pass.”
“Okay,” Spanner said immediately with a slight blush, making Squalo grip his sword tighter. Gokudera looked at his boss with an admiring expression.
“You’re fantastic, Tenth!”
“Quite good,” Lambo approved.
“Haha, I wonder why he gave up so soon?” Yamamoto laughed.
“I didn’t know you had it in you,” Reborn muttered, giving Tsunayoshi a long look, before turning. “Okay now, Spanner. Take us to her!”
“You know,” Spanner said while leading the Fellowship with his Moscas. “I never knew why you insist on calling her Galadriel even though you know her real name.”
“Galadriel is the name given to her with the status,” the Strider replied. “That’s who she is. Who she was doesn’t matter.
“But you don’t call her honoured consort Celeborn, do you?”
“Colonello is too much of an idiot to be called anything else.”
“How disrespectful of you, Strider.” Then Spanner and Reborn proceeded to have a long discussion with detailed side notes about the necessity of going blindfolded. Tsunayoshi was getting fidgety, mostly due to the increasing feeling of being, well, still followed. If it was an enemy, then why had this enemy not yet attacked? Then again, it couldn’t possibly be an ally - because an ally would have joined them.
No, this was the same person who followed the Fellowship through the Mines of Moria. Tsunayoshi was sure of that.
“Alright,” Reborn’s voice startled him from his thoughts. “We’re going to be blindfolded and dragged to see Galadriel now. First one to protest will follow Mukuro to hell, got it?”
’Shishishi…not very hospitable, are they?’ The One Ring whispered, making Tsunayoshi sigh with annoyance as he was dragged through what seemed like a Never Ending Road. ’To treat you like that, while all you want to do is just… save the world.’
’Could you please shut up?’ Tsunayoshi thought bitterly. ’We’re sort of enemies here, so I feel a bit hesitant about talking with you.’
’How upsetting,’ was the reply. ’But I’m not the real enemy, here, am I? You guys should focus on defeating Byakuran more than on me.’
’Byakuran, from what I heard and understood, will lose his powers if you’re destroyed.’
‘Shishishi… do you really believe that a man could take over the world by just wearing a ring? I know I’m awesome, but please don’t be absurd, my dear.’
‘Who are you?’ Tsunayoshi asked suddenly. ’You seem awfully… humane, sort of, to be just an object.’
’I’m a prince,’ the ring purred. ’And my name is Belphegor.’
e’re here,” Spanner said, and Tsunayoshi had to close his eyes against the light when his blindfold was taken off. When he finally saw the place, he could do little more than stand and gape at the sheer beauty of it all - the scenery was a story and a dream. It was… it was… He didn’t know how to describe it, but even the word ‘beautiful’ seemed plain.
’Stunning,’ he thought then. ’That’s the word - stunning.’
“It has been a while, Reborn,” a sharp, steel-like voice said, and Tsunayoshi saw a pair of almost ethereal-looking elves walking down a ridiculously long staircase.
“Galadriel,” Reborn said, but Tsunayoshi’s Intuition somehow heard it as ‘Lal’. “Thank you for welcoming us.”
“Weird to see you thanking someone, hey,” the man standing next to Galadriel grinned. “We were told that there would be nine coming. I can see only eight.”
“Mukuro’s dead,” Reborn said with a shrug.
“Thank God for small miracles,” Galadriel blurted, before biting her lip. “I mean… How… heartbreaking.”
“Yes,” the Strider said dully. “We’re all grieving inside. He was one of a kind. And that’s one too many.”
“Okay. I suppose you need to get properly drunk to celeb- mourn that. It. Him…at least I think it was a he. But you, Sawada - I can recognise you anywhere, you father made sure of that. When the party starts, I’ll send for you. There’s something you need to see.“
And that was the reason as to why Sawada Tsunayoshi found himself in a shady room with The Lady. Galadriel walked slowly towards a well in the middle of the place.
“Will you look into the mirror?” she asked, pouring water into a plate of sorts.
“What will I see?” Tsunayoshi asked warily, knowing that there was a Catch. And Catches were bad.
“Even the wisest cannot tell,” Galadriel said with a mysterious smile that made her look rather murderous. “For the mirror shows many things.”
’Vague. Not suspicious AT ALL.
“Things that were…” the woman continued. “Things that are… and some things that have not yet come to pass.” Curiosity winning hands down, Tsunayoshi walked closer to the Mirror, and looked into it. He saw things he could remember - for some reason mostly about Squalo. Had the elf been staring at him that much?
Then, Tsunayoshi saw War. He saw himself fighting, he saw his friends dying. Brown eyes wide with shock he watched how a hideous orc struck Gokudera down with a weapon he couldn’t identify. Namimori was burning, houses were being destroyed, and people of all kinds were massacred. Filth, slavery, pain, torment, sorrow, grief… And above it all stood a man dressed in white. Even his hair was as purely white as the fresh snow. His pale, handsome face was twisted into a smile more suitable for a mischievous prankster, not an Evil Overlord… Tsunayoshi’s Intuition had immediately matched the Face and the Reputation. This was Byakuran, without a doubt.
“The Fellowship is breaking,” Galadriel said as softly as an electrocuted hedgehog. “And if it breaks, you will fail. And if you fail… what you just saw will be what will happen.”
“What?” Tsunayoshi whispered. “The Fellowship breaking? Were all those stupid speeches in Rivendell just to hear their own voices!?”
“Not all,” Galadriel stated. “For one who would have stayed faithful till the end has died. One more in that Fellowship is beyond being corrupted by the ring as long as it is with you, and the other is on his way there already. But the rest…”
“I don’t understand.”
“The One Ring has the power of Greed. Due to their honest love for you neither Rokudo Mukuro nor Gokudera Hayato would ever try and get it from you using force, and with them you would have been safe. A third one in the Fellowship is also, surprisingly, becoming deeply attached to you. The same, however, I cannot say about the rest. The Ring plays with minds, Sawada, it plays and breaks and then moves on, destroying each one of the remaining five.”
“How can I prevent this?” Tsunayoshi asked.
“Two ways,” the elf replied. “One will hurt you, and only you - it is to be alone, to travel alone and to never let anyone close enough to make you fail. And the other way is the opposite that might hurt you and will hurt the others; make them love you beyond reason and greed. It’s your choice.”
“When do I have to make the decision?”
“You’ll stay here for three days, after which some of ours will escort you out of the forest. Till then, you have time.”
stars: OMGLOLZ
tsuna: D:
o you know how orcs came to be?” asked a tall man with silky black hair and clothes so odd that even an orc wouldn’t be caught dead in them. A pair of perfectly symmetrical dot-shaped eyebrows was located above eyes so narrow that it was a wonder the man could see anything at all. This man was Genkishi, the formerWhite Wizard.
“Grrr…”
“They were elves, once,” Genkishi continued, walking around a big, orc-like thing with a vague white stamp on its face. “Taken by the dark powers… ruined by it. Gosh, you’re ugly. And now… you have been reborn. My fighting Uruk-Hai.”
“Grrr…”
“You’re not here for beauty. You’re not here for your argument skills. You’re not here to have your own ideas and independency.”
“Grrr….”
“You’re here to fight.”
“Grrr…”
“Whom do you se- stop growling at me. Whom do you serve?”
“Ge-e-e…” started the hideous creature that had been built to fight but not to speak. Genkishi decided that getting the first part of his name out was good enough, and raised his both hands, declaring the start of the Preparations.
“You’ll know no pain, you’ll taste no fear,” the wizard declared. “You’ll taste man-flesh! …Not like I do, however.” The raven-haired man nodded approvingly to himself, and turned to look for a familiar underling who hated his guts. The feeling was mutual. Somewhat.
“GAMMA!”
“Shit,” muttered a tall blond man, who then sullenly walked towards the wizard. “What do you want?”
“One of the creatures in the freak-circus of eight-formerly-nine carries something of great value. It’s a young boy with brown hair and eyes and a slender body and the cutest bot- I mean. Sawada Tsunayoshi. You’ll recognize him when you see him. Bring him to me. Us. Unspoiled, so hands off.”
“Unlike you,” Gamma, most possibly the only reasonable, sane man in the whole of Middle-Earth, started. “I do not get off molesting little boys. I will bring you all the kids I see there and you can decide which one is the right one. What do I do about the rest?”
“Kill them,” Genkishi ordered dismissively. “And now fetch me a drink.”
hey had left Lórien, and while it was clear that there were some in the Fellowship who’d miss the place, Tsunayoshi felt slightly relieved to leave. They travelled southwards down the Anduin, the Great River. Tsunayoshi was sitting quietly in one of the elven boats, feeling more and more paranoid. He was sure that someone was following them.
How come he was the only one who could sense that?? Weren’t Reborn, Squalo and Hibari supposed to be good at avoiding being tracked down?
“That eagle has been circling above us for quite a while,” Reborn said suddenly.
“Maybe we should start travelling by night again, just in case,” Squalo sighed. “The Falls of Rauros are our temporary destination. You sure about the way, Strider?”
“Of course.”
“Then we’ll have to decide whether we go to Mordor directly, or turn south towards Minas Tirith,” Hibari stated. Now, speaking of choices, Tsunayoshi remembered again the choice he had to make… but it didn’t seem much of a choice anymore.
’You’d rather go alone and not hurt the others,’ Belphegor’s voice echoed in the brunet’s head. ’Shishishi… Surprisingly noble. And stupid.’.
’Yes, well-’
‘When did you plan on leaving?’
‘Maybe when we reach the Falls of Rauros?’
‘They’ll just follow you and the Fellowship would break there, which will lead to your death.’
‘…why can’t you just, you know, stop alluring them with offers?’ Tsunayoshi asked hopefully.
’Shishishi… where’s the fun in that? I’m a prince, I can do what I please, and peasants have no rights to question my actions,’ the ring replied. ’Do you trust me, my princess?’
‘No,’ was the brunet’s immediate response. ’You’re evil, you’re a weapon only our enemy can use.’
‘Precisely.’
“Tenth,” Gokudera’s voice caught his attention, and Tsunayoshi turned towards the silver-haired boy.
“Yes?”
“Are you alright? You seem rather…um… unwell.”
“I’m quite alright, thank you for asking,” Tsunayoshi replied with a slight smile. “I was just… thinking.” Squalo glanced at the boy with an unreadable expression. He had seen the sudden gloominess of the boy, but he wasn’t… friends enough with him to just ask. In that, he rather envied Gokudera, Bovino and Yamamoto who could just talk with Tsunayoshi without it seeming out of ordinary. But if Squalo started talking to Tsunayoshi, the others might think that he was after the Ring.
While in fact, a little voice in his head was saying something along the lines of preferring to have the Ring Bearer instead.
“It’s getting late,” Hibari suddenly said. “Too dark to try handling these boats in the river.”
“We’ll stop at the western bank,” Reborn shouted from another boat. “It’s better to spend the night there.” Tsunayoshi’s Intuition agreed, mostly because of Ulterior Motives. He’d try to sneak away during the night and use one of the boats. He knew a trick or two that would make his boat go faster that normally, which would give him an advantage even if the others tried to chase after him.
“Your sword is gleaming,” said a voice, and Tsunayoshi turned to look at Squalo. The handsome elf’s features made the young brunet feel a bit… odd for some reason, and so the boy turned to his sword STING to see it glow a lovely shade of violet.
“Orcs are nearby,” he said, making the elf nod grimly.
“Not surprising. This is their domain, after all.”
“It’s my birthday soon,” Lambo declared from another boat. “When’s your birthday, Strider?”
“Do you have a birthday?” Gokudera asked suspiciously.
“Hahaha, I don’t think that this is the right moment to ask about birthdays,” Yamamoto laughed, mainly because he believed Reborn to be a homunculus grown in a pot. “And Lambo, your birthday isn’t till… four or five months at least.”
“As I said,” the curly-haired teen confirmed. “Soon.”
“Quiet, herbivores,” Hibari’s cold voice shut the three up rather effectively. Soon they reached the bank and settled down for the night. Lambo was complaining about the lack of food, and when Squalo gave him reluctantly some more Lembas bread, the boy merely glared at it sullenly.
“You can always imagine it to be a cake,” Yamamoto said, and Lambo nodded.
“Some of my best meals were hallucinations.”
’I’m not second guessing myself,’ Tsunayoshi thought as he secretly didn’t settle down as firmly as the others. ’It’s just that I know that there’s a fine line between courage and self destruction… Going to… to that place alone without a guide is a fine way to die.’
‘Shishishi… Couldn’t have said it better, princess,’ Belphegor laughed quietly. ’So how about just ditching this all?’ Tempting, but Tsuna knew what would happen. He couldn’t just run and hide, because there was no safe place where he could just go to and forget this all - except, perhaps, his grave. To which he might very well be going already. Tsunayoshi took a deep breath to ease the slight wave of nausea. He wasn’t going yet, but somehow his movements seemed slow and clumsy, anxiety making him rather jumpy.
Hibari didn’t care enough to observe him. Reborn was too busy trying to understand what in the world Yamamoto and Lambo were trying to demonstrate. Ryohei was enthusiastically trying to goad Gokudera to accept a fighting match. But Squalo… the elf of Mirkwood who had developed a new hobby of Observing Tsunayoshi, could clearly see the signs of anxiety in the brunet.
’He’s up to something,’ the elf thought. ’I wonder what? Is he afraid? Granted, I don’t like the way Hibari has been eyeing him for the past few days, but still… what could he be up to?’ The answer was suddenly clear, and Squalo saw the merit in it. The elf was more sensitive to other people’s moods than anyone could have guessed, and he knew that they were bound to fight and break and do something stupid eventually. Ditching the hindering group that could sooner or later turn into enemies was a smart move. But alone Tsunayoshi wasn’t going to succeed. He’d need someone capable to help him… someone who’d care for him more than for the ring.
”It could be you,” said a tiny voice inside his head.
“How are you feeling?” Squalo decided to ask, startling Tsunayoshi whose usually neutrally nice expression morphed to portray wariness and early stages of paranoia.
“I’m alright,” the brunet replied.
“If you have a problem you can’t handle on your own you will need help fixing it,” the elf said with uncharacteristic seriousness. “And we can't fix things we don't know about.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tsunayoshi muttered. “I don’t have any problems.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“If you say so.” The tone showed clearly that Squalo did not believe Tsunayoshi. Not this time. And the brunet knew it too. To distract the elf, Tsunayoshi decided to reveal to the others that STING had glowed again and really brightly too, indicating that there were orcs heading their way.
“Shit,” Yamamoto said. “That’s too bad.”
“Ooh, orcs,” Lambo grinned. “Cool.”
“Not cool,” Tsunayoshi snapped. “Orcs eat anything that’s not Orc. And we’re not Orc.”
“Don’t worry, Tenth,” Gokudera declared loudly. “I’ll protect you with my life!”
Then the orcs were there, attacking and screeching loudly. Tsunayoshi picked his sword and swung it experimentally a few times before he subtly decided that there was no better time than chaos to escape. He grabbed his bag and crawled towards a boat.
’Sorry pals,’ he thought miserably. ’I don’t want to do this, but...’
In the battlefield itself, the remaining members of the Fellowship were mostly busy killing whatever attacked them. Hibari was having the time of his life, not even thinking about holding back. Lambo and Gokudera, in a rare moment of synchronization found a moment to stand behind the dark-haired tonfa-wielder, whose back was exposed to them.
“All it takes is one arrow,” Lambo muttered.
“We can send him to Hell,” Gokudera agreed. But Yamamoto Takeshi, known also as The Voice Of Reason interrupted the two.
“We can’t send Hibari to Hell!”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s Hibari!”
“And?”
“Think about it! He’ll come back, and he won’t be alone. The ogres and demons of hell would end up being his underlings!”
“Point.”
“Dammit.”
Few feet away Squalo had just cut down another orc when his newly cultivated, Sawada Tsunayoshi-ally oriented radar signalled for a disturbance. It didn’t take long for the elf to realize that the brunet was heading towards the boats. Quickly he ran after the boy, just in time to see him jump into a boat and open the ropes. At this point Universe opened two doors, and one of them would close soon regarding on Squalo’s choice.
OPTION ONE: Turn and go back to fight with the Fellowship. Let Tsunayoshi handle himself.
OPTION TWO: Take one graceful leap and end up in the boat with Tsunayoshi. Help him, yes, but abandon the remaining fellowship.
It took less than a nanosecond for Squalo to pick option two and join the panicking brunet.
“HIII!? What did you do that for?”
“I’m not letting you go alone,” the elf hissed, sitting up and untangling the knots in his hair grimly. “You’ll need me.”
“But-“
“Either both or neither. Your pick.”
“…”
“That’s what I thought.”
omehow in the midst of the battle Reborn realized that Loser Tsuna had vanished. His instincts told him to run after the brunet, but the sea of orcs prevented such course of action, trapping him to fight back-to-back with Hibari, before the violent man opted to fight on his own, separatedly. To be honest, the Strider wasn’t so sure that he’d survive the battle. But suddenly, without any visible reason whatsoever the orcs retreated. Reborn turned, feeling first disbelief, then unfamiliar panic when he saw a scene he thought he’d never see.
Hibari was lying on the ground with three arrows sticking from his chest, and he was in a visibly weak state. Gokudera was heavily injured as well, while Ryohei was lying nearby, conscious but clearly too tired to move. Then Reborn realized that not only Tsuna was missing, but Squalo, Lambo and Yamamoto as well. First, he knew that he’d have to try and stop Hibari’s bleeding.
“Don’t touch me, herbivore,” Hibari hissed.
“I don’t really much care about whether you live or die,” Reborn replied. “But Tsuna needs us. You included. That’s why I’d rather have you dead than alive. Well, actually, maybe not. You’re annoying.”
“TENTH!” Gokudera cried. “Where is he!? I have to go to him! He… I…. Have to-asertfghjk!”
“Shut up,” the Strider snapped. “Just… shut up. We have to figure out what to do next. Tsuna, Squalo, Yamamoto and Lambo are missing.”
“Yamamoto and the other kid were taken by orcs,” Ryohei rasped. “I don’t think that the same happened to the other two.”
“Tenth’s luggage,” Gokudera whimpered. “He… he didn’t take me with him. Why? Did… did that stupid elf go with him?”
“The best thing we ought to do is to follow the orcs,” Reborn decided. “The two annoying brats might still be alive. Let’s first bury Hibari-”
“I’m not dead yet,” the dark-haired man snarled. “I just can’t move right now, and if you touch me then I’ll bite you to death.”
“-and we might as well use the traditional way. Do we have a boat to burn?”
“Sure,” Gokudera said gloomily, still lying motionlessly against the tree. Reborn kicked him a few times and then carried a loudly cursing Hibari towards the river. Then he threw the Man of Gondor into one of the boats and kicked it off the shore.
“He was a noble man,” Ryohei murmured with appreciation. “May he rest in peace.”
“Good riddance,” Gokudera muttered. “Never liked him anyway.”
“Now that this is done and over with, let’s start moving,” Reborn ordered. “To rescue Yamamoto Takeshi and Bovino Lambo. Squalo and Tsuna - let’s just hope that they’re well and together - are heading towards Mordor.”
“I don’t see why we have to save Yamamoto and Bovino,” Gokudera grumbled. “The world is better without those two.”
“Shut it and start moving.”
For three days they chased, running with remarkable speed through the land of Rohan, and it turned out that the orcs were not only born ugly, but also didn’t put much value on beauty sleep. Their advantage was increasing, and that put Reborn into a permanent bad mood. On the fourth day, they met one of the most peculiar men of Middle Earth who was leading a company of the Rohirrim. The man was Basil, the Third Marshal of Rohan and the nephew of the King of Rohan.
“What brings thee to these corners of the world?” Basil asked.
“We’re chasing after a group of orcs,” Reborn replied. “They took two of our friends. We, of course, expect them to be still alive. We hope, at least.”
“We attacked and destroyed a band of Orcs two days ago, yet we found no hobbits among them. I wish not to be a bringer of bad news, but I must tell thee that the chances of finding thy friends alive again are next to none. However, if thee insist I can defy my naturally suspicious instincts and in a show of naivety give thee a grant to tread through the lands of Rohan. Actually, I can give thee horses too.”
“Wow. I’m not wary of you at all, so thank you,” Reborn replied. “We really do need new horses to chase the orcs even though you just confirmed that our friends aren’t with them anymore.”
“I have always thought that a real man kills himself before getting killed,” Ryohei nodded. “That’s extreme!”
“It’s not extreme,” Gokudera snapped. “It’s wrong. Yamamoto and the stupid cow are not worth it.”
“I’m not giving you options,” Reborn told the two. “Let’s go. Basil of Rohan told me that they killed the Orcs nearby, so if we follow this trail we’re bound to find them.”
During the past three days these three fine humans men creatures had spent on finding Yamamoto Takeshi and Bovino Lambo, these two young adventurers were suffering greatly as captives of the orcs. The two were told rather quickly by a blond, extremely bored-looking man that they were not going to be killed, but that a bone or two might break.
Lambo was sure that he’d die anyway, considering that the orcs were forcing him to run, after pouring some odd liquid down his throat.
“Which one of you is Sawada Tsunayoshi?” Gamma asked, and Yamamoto narrowed his eyes.
“What do you want with Tsuna?”
“Don’t answer with a question!”
“Why are all those orcs different?” Lambo asked, and Gamma, who was used to answering questions quickly launched into a detailed explanation about the differences between the small orcs from the Misty Mountains and, bit bigger ones from Mordor and the large Uruk-hai from Isengrad.
Near the Fangorn Forest they were surrounded by a group of the Riders of Rohan, and a battle broke out. A bit of this and that happened, and when Gamma saw that the orcs would lose, he grabbed the both hobbits and tried to rush away. Unfortunately for him Change Of Plans took the form of an arrow and hit his shoulder, making him drop Lambo. Deciding then that surviving was more important that getting the Ring, the blond man dropped Yamamoto too and ran for his life.
The hobbits crawled into the forest, unnoticed in the darkness, and that’s why Reborn, Ryohei and Gokudera didn’t see them when they finally arrived. Lambo and Yamamoto continued their way deep into the forest and met a huge tree-like creature that Yamamoto recognized to be an Ent.
“Ho ho ho,” the Ent said. “My name is Nikolaus. I’m called Saint Claus. Or just Santa Claus, if you insist. Sometimes I’m called Santa or Claus. But you can-“
“Yeah okay we get it,” Lambo interrupted. “Defying all logical evidence I am going to do something slightly intelligent now and ask for your help to get us out of here.”
“Can I tell you about the History of Ents first?” Santa Claus asked. “I really want to.”
“But the time-“
“I am going to, anyway, even if you don’t want to listen. You see, we’re threatened by that guy called Genkishi-“
“I have heard of him!” Yamamoto exclaimed. “He’s the Enemy’s Assistant.”
“He’s enemy alright. His orcs are destroying the forest and killing the trees. I mean, fine, we like a good laugh as much as the next guy… but sometimes the laughter has to stop. And that’s usually when somebody dies.”
“Really?” Lambo gasped. “That’s when we usually start laughing.”
“Anyway. We want to attack Isengrad where the Tower of Orthanc is.”
“And that tower iiiiis…?”
“Genkishi’s home.”
“And what do you want from us again?”
“Join the march, of course. The more, the merrier!”
eborn couldn’t see Yamamoto or Lambo anywhere. Instead he found a leaf of mallorn and some crumbs of lembas. With this evidence of the hobbits' presence the three continued their search into the forest of Fangorn.
“I have a bad feeling,” Gokudera said suddenly. “It’s as if… as if I’m about to meet someone I’d rather not.”
“I have that same feeling too,” Reborn muttered, before squinting to see a certain someone walking towards them.
“Is it the White Wizard?” Ryohei asked. “I mean… he’s obviously a wizard, what with that stick he’s dragging along. And he’s dressed in white.”
“The White Wizard Genkishi?”
“Bad news never has a good timing.”
“I see a pine-apple-ish hairdo.”
“What? No, he’s DEAD!”
“Nononononono-“
“Uh-huh, he’s coming this way.”
“That’s EXTREME. I can almost recognize him!”
“Almost!? I can recognize him alright. Let’s leave before he recognizes us!”
“Too late,” Reborn said grimly. “He’s coming this way.” Gokudera grimaced, and took a step back. He could face orcs any day and twice of Thursdays, but this…. this…
“Nice to see you alive,” Strider lied with a forced smile. “Rokudo Mukuro.”
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A/N: And this would be the third part… Uh… compared to the KHR fandom, the Naruto fandom is like a battlefield. *exhausted* Sorry for the typos. I'm having a war out there in the Naruto fandom and currently this is my therapy...
Part 2
Part 4
Author: Pain au Chocolat
Language: English.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters used in this fiction. Everything belongs to Akira Amano and the original plot of LotR belongs to J. R. R. Tolkien.
Rating & Warnings: R for Retarded. AU, OOC, gayness, x-over, parody, lime, grammar and spelling abuse, no sense whatsoever… KHR. Characters are OOC - I’m saying this again just in case someone missed it. This is parody and will most probably ruin the LotR for you.
Summary: It’s a KHR-fied LotR parody. Read if you can
Pairing: Squalo x Tsuna, a bit of MukuTsuna, ByaTsuna, GokuTsuna and BelTsuna.
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This is what I would have submitted for the 5th eDoujin, but…
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hat do you mean they sneaked past us!?” Xanxia shrieked, throwing a bottle at Hana, who quickly ducked with a scowl on her face.
“Exactly what it sounds like! They sneaked past us and will be reaching the forest of Lórien soon.”
“Hehe, my son sure likes to play,” Nana whispered sweetly. “But he must realize that moms get what moms want. He’s just delaying the inevitable.”
“He is, isn’t he?” Iris muttered, munching some raspberries. “By the way, anyone got a word from the Big Boss?”
“No. He’s currently incapable of… ehm… speaking,” Uni said. “Instead the White Wizard-“
“Oh no, not him,” the puffy-haired woman groaned. “He’s…. he’s creepy.”
“You’re just upset that he didn’t fall for your balloon boobs,” Hana stated.
“Hahi!? Iris tried to seduce him?” Haru gasped. “How could you? He’s nasty!”
“He’s old,” I-pin said. “I bet that his first few birthday cards were written in the Old Language.”
“But he’s hot,” Iris shrugged. “Age has nothing to do with it, and it doesn’t show anyway. But he’s an asshole. And a fag.”
“How did he reject you?”
“Oh, he was the worst! Can you believe that he said that he’d rather be gay than to sleep with me and prove that he isn’t!?”
“Ouch,” most of the other Black Riders chorused, and even Xanxia grimaced. Or, well, smirked. Probably the latter, since it was Xanxia after all.
“So, what shall we do now?” Kyoko asked, polishing her multi-coloured sable. “Go after them?”
“We can’t enter Lórien. But my little birds can,” Uni said. “I’ll send one of them to watch, and it will inform us when they leave the wretched place again.”
hey had finally reached a forest. It was niceand there seemed to be some kind of a lovely hum going on. Not quite music, but not really singing either. Tsunayoshi liked it quite a lot. The place was so… full of light. Quite refreshing, truly.
Well, refreshing till someone pointed a sticky, half-melted lollipop at him.
“You stepped on one of my cables,” said the man who seemed to be… uh… the one commanding the bunch of… er… things behind him. “This is the forest of Lórien and no strangers should have a reason to enter it uninvited. Who are you? Speak quickly or I’ll make my Mosca-army trample you.”
“Spanner,” Squalo growled. “You still keep on building… these?”
“Superbi Squalo of That Third Elven Country I Can Never Quite Remember,” the elf called Spanner said monotonously. “What a surprise. Well, not really. Reborn, Son of What’shisface. What would the two of you be looking for here? We’re not buying or selling anything.”
“For heaven’s sake,” Reborn sighed. “Spanner. The only person in the world I have never quite known how to deal with.”
“We wish to meet Galadriel,” Squalo said. “Take us to her.”
“Uh-huh…” Spanner’s gaze slid to rest on Tsuna. “You can go no further.”
“Really?” Tsunayoshi asked hopefully, but Reborn seemed to be unhappy about that.
“Listen here, Spanner,” the Strider said. “This boy-“
“Brings a great Evil with him.”
“…no, his father isn’t with us.”
“I was talking about a different Evil.”
“He’s coming with us and we’re going to see Galadriel,” Squalo deadpanned. “Spanner, stop those Mosca-things and let us pass.”
“No.”
“I have lollipops for you.”
“No. I won’t be bribed.”
“Orange flavoured!”
“Tough. But no.”
At this point Tsunayoshi’s Intuition decided to butt in, giving strict instructions on what to do. Tsunayoshi didn’t like it, but man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Even if it was really… un-manly. So he took a deep breath, cursed the world a few times, and then stepped forward, catching Spanner’s attention. The man’s blue eyes widened as he saw the young brunet’s expression - wide brown eyes, white teeth biting the lower lip, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
“I want to pass.”
“Okay,” Spanner said immediately with a slight blush, making Squalo grip his sword tighter. Gokudera looked at his boss with an admiring expression.
“You’re fantastic, Tenth!”
“Quite good,” Lambo approved.
“Haha, I wonder why he gave up so soon?” Yamamoto laughed.
“I didn’t know you had it in you,” Reborn muttered, giving Tsunayoshi a long look, before turning. “Okay now, Spanner. Take us to her!”
“You know,” Spanner said while leading the Fellowship with his Moscas. “I never knew why you insist on calling her Galadriel even though you know her real name.”
“Galadriel is the name given to her with the status,” the Strider replied. “That’s who she is. Who she was doesn’t matter.
“But you don’t call her honoured consort Celeborn, do you?”
“Colonello is too much of an idiot to be called anything else.”
“How disrespectful of you, Strider.” Then Spanner and Reborn proceeded to have a long discussion with detailed side notes about the necessity of going blindfolded. Tsunayoshi was getting fidgety, mostly due to the increasing feeling of being, well, still followed. If it was an enemy, then why had this enemy not yet attacked? Then again, it couldn’t possibly be an ally - because an ally would have joined them.
No, this was the same person who followed the Fellowship through the Mines of Moria. Tsunayoshi was sure of that.
“Alright,” Reborn’s voice startled him from his thoughts. “We’re going to be blindfolded and dragged to see Galadriel now. First one to protest will follow Mukuro to hell, got it?”
’Shishishi…not very hospitable, are they?’ The One Ring whispered, making Tsunayoshi sigh with annoyance as he was dragged through what seemed like a Never Ending Road. ’To treat you like that, while all you want to do is just… save the world.’
’Could you please shut up?’ Tsunayoshi thought bitterly. ’We’re sort of enemies here, so I feel a bit hesitant about talking with you.’
’How upsetting,’ was the reply. ’But I’m not the real enemy, here, am I? You guys should focus on defeating Byakuran more than on me.’
’Byakuran, from what I heard and understood, will lose his powers if you’re destroyed.’
‘Shishishi… do you really believe that a man could take over the world by just wearing a ring? I know I’m awesome, but please don’t be absurd, my dear.’
‘Who are you?’ Tsunayoshi asked suddenly. ’You seem awfully… humane, sort of, to be just an object.’
’I’m a prince,’ the ring purred. ’And my name is Belphegor.’
e’re here,” Spanner said, and Tsunayoshi had to close his eyes against the light when his blindfold was taken off. When he finally saw the place, he could do little more than stand and gape at the sheer beauty of it all - the scenery was a story and a dream. It was… it was… He didn’t know how to describe it, but even the word ‘beautiful’ seemed plain.
’Stunning,’ he thought then. ’That’s the word - stunning.’
“It has been a while, Reborn,” a sharp, steel-like voice said, and Tsunayoshi saw a pair of almost ethereal-looking elves walking down a ridiculously long staircase.
“Galadriel,” Reborn said, but Tsunayoshi’s Intuition somehow heard it as ‘Lal’. “Thank you for welcoming us.”
“Weird to see you thanking someone, hey,” the man standing next to Galadriel grinned. “We were told that there would be nine coming. I can see only eight.”
“Mukuro’s dead,” Reborn said with a shrug.
“Thank God for small miracles,” Galadriel blurted, before biting her lip. “I mean… How… heartbreaking.”
“Yes,” the Strider said dully. “We’re all grieving inside. He was one of a kind. And that’s one too many.”
“Okay. I suppose you need to get properly drunk to celeb- mourn that. It. Him…at least I think it was a he. But you, Sawada - I can recognise you anywhere, you father made sure of that. When the party starts, I’ll send for you. There’s something you need to see.“
And that was the reason as to why Sawada Tsunayoshi found himself in a shady room with The Lady. Galadriel walked slowly towards a well in the middle of the place.
“Will you look into the mirror?” she asked, pouring water into a plate of sorts.
“What will I see?” Tsunayoshi asked warily, knowing that there was a Catch. And Catches were bad.
“Even the wisest cannot tell,” Galadriel said with a mysterious smile that made her look rather murderous. “For the mirror shows many things.”
’Vague. Not suspicious AT ALL.
“Things that were…” the woman continued. “Things that are… and some things that have not yet come to pass.” Curiosity winning hands down, Tsunayoshi walked closer to the Mirror, and looked into it. He saw things he could remember - for some reason mostly about Squalo. Had the elf been staring at him that much?
Then, Tsunayoshi saw War. He saw himself fighting, he saw his friends dying. Brown eyes wide with shock he watched how a hideous orc struck Gokudera down with a weapon he couldn’t identify. Namimori was burning, houses were being destroyed, and people of all kinds were massacred. Filth, slavery, pain, torment, sorrow, grief… And above it all stood a man dressed in white. Even his hair was as purely white as the fresh snow. His pale, handsome face was twisted into a smile more suitable for a mischievous prankster, not an Evil Overlord… Tsunayoshi’s Intuition had immediately matched the Face and the Reputation. This was Byakuran, without a doubt.
“The Fellowship is breaking,” Galadriel said as softly as an electrocuted hedgehog. “And if it breaks, you will fail. And if you fail… what you just saw will be what will happen.”
“What?” Tsunayoshi whispered. “The Fellowship breaking? Were all those stupid speeches in Rivendell just to hear their own voices!?”
“Not all,” Galadriel stated. “For one who would have stayed faithful till the end has died. One more in that Fellowship is beyond being corrupted by the ring as long as it is with you, and the other is on his way there already. But the rest…”
“I don’t understand.”
“The One Ring has the power of Greed. Due to their honest love for you neither Rokudo Mukuro nor Gokudera Hayato would ever try and get it from you using force, and with them you would have been safe. A third one in the Fellowship is also, surprisingly, becoming deeply attached to you. The same, however, I cannot say about the rest. The Ring plays with minds, Sawada, it plays and breaks and then moves on, destroying each one of the remaining five.”
“How can I prevent this?” Tsunayoshi asked.
“Two ways,” the elf replied. “One will hurt you, and only you - it is to be alone, to travel alone and to never let anyone close enough to make you fail. And the other way is the opposite that might hurt you and will hurt the others; make them love you beyond reason and greed. It’s your choice.”
“When do I have to make the decision?”
“You’ll stay here for three days, after which some of ours will escort you out of the forest. Till then, you have time.”
stars: OMGLOLZ
tsuna: D:
o you know how orcs came to be?” asked a tall man with silky black hair and clothes so odd that even an orc wouldn’t be caught dead in them. A pair of perfectly symmetrical dot-shaped eyebrows was located above eyes so narrow that it was a wonder the man could see anything at all. This man was Genkishi, the formerWhite Wizard.
“Grrr…”
“They were elves, once,” Genkishi continued, walking around a big, orc-like thing with a vague white stamp on its face. “Taken by the dark powers… ruined by it. Gosh, you’re ugly. And now… you have been reborn. My fighting Uruk-Hai.”
“Grrr…”
“You’re not here for beauty. You’re not here for your argument skills. You’re not here to have your own ideas and independency.”
“Grrr….”
“You’re here to fight.”
“Grrr…”
“Whom do you se- stop growling at me. Whom do you serve?”
“Ge-e-e…” started the hideous creature that had been built to fight but not to speak. Genkishi decided that getting the first part of his name out was good enough, and raised his both hands, declaring the start of the Preparations.
“You’ll know no pain, you’ll taste no fear,” the wizard declared. “You’ll taste man-flesh! …Not like I do, however.” The raven-haired man nodded approvingly to himself, and turned to look for a familiar underling who hated his guts. The feeling was mutual. Somewhat.
“GAMMA!”
“Shit,” muttered a tall blond man, who then sullenly walked towards the wizard. “What do you want?”
“One of the creatures in the freak-circus of eight-formerly-nine carries something of great value. It’s a young boy with brown hair and eyes and a slender body and the cutest bot- I mean. Sawada Tsunayoshi. You’ll recognize him when you see him. Bring him to me. Us. Unspoiled, so hands off.”
“Unlike you,” Gamma, most possibly the only reasonable, sane man in the whole of Middle-Earth, started. “I do not get off molesting little boys. I will bring you all the kids I see there and you can decide which one is the right one. What do I do about the rest?”
“Kill them,” Genkishi ordered dismissively. “And now fetch me a drink.”
hey had left Lórien, and while it was clear that there were some in the Fellowship who’d miss the place, Tsunayoshi felt slightly relieved to leave. They travelled southwards down the Anduin, the Great River. Tsunayoshi was sitting quietly in one of the elven boats, feeling more and more paranoid. He was sure that someone was following them.
How come he was the only one who could sense that?? Weren’t Reborn, Squalo and Hibari supposed to be good at avoiding being tracked down?
“That eagle has been circling above us for quite a while,” Reborn said suddenly.
“Maybe we should start travelling by night again, just in case,” Squalo sighed. “The Falls of Rauros are our temporary destination. You sure about the way, Strider?”
“Of course.”
“Then we’ll have to decide whether we go to Mordor directly, or turn south towards Minas Tirith,” Hibari stated. Now, speaking of choices, Tsunayoshi remembered again the choice he had to make… but it didn’t seem much of a choice anymore.
’You’d rather go alone and not hurt the others,’ Belphegor’s voice echoed in the brunet’s head. ’Shishishi… Surprisingly noble. And stupid.’.
’Yes, well-’
‘When did you plan on leaving?’
‘Maybe when we reach the Falls of Rauros?’
‘They’ll just follow you and the Fellowship would break there, which will lead to your death.’
‘…why can’t you just, you know, stop alluring them with offers?’ Tsunayoshi asked hopefully.
’Shishishi… where’s the fun in that? I’m a prince, I can do what I please, and peasants have no rights to question my actions,’ the ring replied. ’Do you trust me, my princess?’
‘No,’ was the brunet’s immediate response. ’You’re evil, you’re a weapon only our enemy can use.’
‘Precisely.’
“Tenth,” Gokudera’s voice caught his attention, and Tsunayoshi turned towards the silver-haired boy.
“Yes?”
“Are you alright? You seem rather…um… unwell.”
“I’m quite alright, thank you for asking,” Tsunayoshi replied with a slight smile. “I was just… thinking.” Squalo glanced at the boy with an unreadable expression. He had seen the sudden gloominess of the boy, but he wasn’t… friends enough with him to just ask. In that, he rather envied Gokudera, Bovino and Yamamoto who could just talk with Tsunayoshi without it seeming out of ordinary. But if Squalo started talking to Tsunayoshi, the others might think that he was after the Ring.
While in fact, a little voice in his head was saying something along the lines of preferring to have the Ring Bearer instead.
“It’s getting late,” Hibari suddenly said. “Too dark to try handling these boats in the river.”
“We’ll stop at the western bank,” Reborn shouted from another boat. “It’s better to spend the night there.” Tsunayoshi’s Intuition agreed, mostly because of Ulterior Motives. He’d try to sneak away during the night and use one of the boats. He knew a trick or two that would make his boat go faster that normally, which would give him an advantage even if the others tried to chase after him.
“Your sword is gleaming,” said a voice, and Tsunayoshi turned to look at Squalo. The handsome elf’s features made the young brunet feel a bit… odd for some reason, and so the boy turned to his sword STING to see it glow a lovely shade of violet.
“Orcs are nearby,” he said, making the elf nod grimly.
“Not surprising. This is their domain, after all.”
“It’s my birthday soon,” Lambo declared from another boat. “When’s your birthday, Strider?”
“Do you have a birthday?” Gokudera asked suspiciously.
“Hahaha, I don’t think that this is the right moment to ask about birthdays,” Yamamoto laughed, mainly because he believed Reborn to be a homunculus grown in a pot. “And Lambo, your birthday isn’t till… four or five months at least.”
“As I said,” the curly-haired teen confirmed. “Soon.”
“Quiet, herbivores,” Hibari’s cold voice shut the three up rather effectively. Soon they reached the bank and settled down for the night. Lambo was complaining about the lack of food, and when Squalo gave him reluctantly some more Lembas bread, the boy merely glared at it sullenly.
“You can always imagine it to be a cake,” Yamamoto said, and Lambo nodded.
“Some of my best meals were hallucinations.”
’I’m not second guessing myself,’ Tsunayoshi thought as he secretly didn’t settle down as firmly as the others. ’It’s just that I know that there’s a fine line between courage and self destruction… Going to… to that place alone without a guide is a fine way to die.’
‘Shishishi… Couldn’t have said it better, princess,’ Belphegor laughed quietly. ’So how about just ditching this all?’ Tempting, but Tsuna knew what would happen. He couldn’t just run and hide, because there was no safe place where he could just go to and forget this all - except, perhaps, his grave. To which he might very well be going already. Tsunayoshi took a deep breath to ease the slight wave of nausea. He wasn’t going yet, but somehow his movements seemed slow and clumsy, anxiety making him rather jumpy.
Hibari didn’t care enough to observe him. Reborn was too busy trying to understand what in the world Yamamoto and Lambo were trying to demonstrate. Ryohei was enthusiastically trying to goad Gokudera to accept a fighting match. But Squalo… the elf of Mirkwood who had developed a new hobby of Observing Tsunayoshi, could clearly see the signs of anxiety in the brunet.
’He’s up to something,’ the elf thought. ’I wonder what? Is he afraid? Granted, I don’t like the way Hibari has been eyeing him for the past few days, but still… what could he be up to?’ The answer was suddenly clear, and Squalo saw the merit in it. The elf was more sensitive to other people’s moods than anyone could have guessed, and he knew that they were bound to fight and break and do something stupid eventually. Ditching the hindering group that could sooner or later turn into enemies was a smart move. But alone Tsunayoshi wasn’t going to succeed. He’d need someone capable to help him… someone who’d care for him more than for the ring.
”It could be you,” said a tiny voice inside his head.
“How are you feeling?” Squalo decided to ask, startling Tsunayoshi whose usually neutrally nice expression morphed to portray wariness and early stages of paranoia.
“I’m alright,” the brunet replied.
“If you have a problem you can’t handle on your own you will need help fixing it,” the elf said with uncharacteristic seriousness. “And we can't fix things we don't know about.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tsunayoshi muttered. “I don’t have any problems.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“If you say so.” The tone showed clearly that Squalo did not believe Tsunayoshi. Not this time. And the brunet knew it too. To distract the elf, Tsunayoshi decided to reveal to the others that STING had glowed again and really brightly too, indicating that there were orcs heading their way.
“Shit,” Yamamoto said. “That’s too bad.”
“Ooh, orcs,” Lambo grinned. “Cool.”
“Not cool,” Tsunayoshi snapped. “Orcs eat anything that’s not Orc. And we’re not Orc.”
“Don’t worry, Tenth,” Gokudera declared loudly. “I’ll protect you with my life!”
Then the orcs were there, attacking and screeching loudly. Tsunayoshi picked his sword and swung it experimentally a few times before he subtly decided that there was no better time than chaos to escape. He grabbed his bag and crawled towards a boat.
’Sorry pals,’ he thought miserably. ’I don’t want to do this, but...’
In the battlefield itself, the remaining members of the Fellowship were mostly busy killing whatever attacked them. Hibari was having the time of his life, not even thinking about holding back. Lambo and Gokudera, in a rare moment of synchronization found a moment to stand behind the dark-haired tonfa-wielder, whose back was exposed to them.
“All it takes is one arrow,” Lambo muttered.
“We can send him to Hell,” Gokudera agreed. But Yamamoto Takeshi, known also as The Voice Of Reason interrupted the two.
“We can’t send Hibari to Hell!”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s Hibari!”
“And?”
“Think about it! He’ll come back, and he won’t be alone. The ogres and demons of hell would end up being his underlings!”
“Point.”
“Dammit.”
Few feet away Squalo had just cut down another orc when his newly cultivated, Sawada Tsunayoshi-ally oriented radar signalled for a disturbance. It didn’t take long for the elf to realize that the brunet was heading towards the boats. Quickly he ran after the boy, just in time to see him jump into a boat and open the ropes. At this point Universe opened two doors, and one of them would close soon regarding on Squalo’s choice.
OPTION ONE: Turn and go back to fight with the Fellowship. Let Tsunayoshi handle himself.
OPTION TWO: Take one graceful leap and end up in the boat with Tsunayoshi. Help him, yes, but abandon the remaining fellowship.
It took less than a nanosecond for Squalo to pick option two and join the panicking brunet.
“HIII!? What did you do that for?”
“I’m not letting you go alone,” the elf hissed, sitting up and untangling the knots in his hair grimly. “You’ll need me.”
“But-“
“Either both or neither. Your pick.”
“…”
“That’s what I thought.”
omehow in the midst of the battle Reborn realized that Loser Tsuna had vanished. His instincts told him to run after the brunet, but the sea of orcs prevented such course of action, trapping him to fight back-to-back with Hibari, before the violent man opted to fight on his own, separatedly. To be honest, the Strider wasn’t so sure that he’d survive the battle. But suddenly, without any visible reason whatsoever the orcs retreated. Reborn turned, feeling first disbelief, then unfamiliar panic when he saw a scene he thought he’d never see.
Hibari was lying on the ground with three arrows sticking from his chest, and he was in a visibly weak state. Gokudera was heavily injured as well, while Ryohei was lying nearby, conscious but clearly too tired to move. Then Reborn realized that not only Tsuna was missing, but Squalo, Lambo and Yamamoto as well. First, he knew that he’d have to try and stop Hibari’s bleeding.
“Don’t touch me, herbivore,” Hibari hissed.
“I don’t really much care about whether you live or die,” Reborn replied. “But Tsuna needs us. You included. That’s why I’d rather have you dead than alive. Well, actually, maybe not. You’re annoying.”
“TENTH!” Gokudera cried. “Where is he!? I have to go to him! He… I…. Have to-asertfghjk!”
“Shut up,” the Strider snapped. “Just… shut up. We have to figure out what to do next. Tsuna, Squalo, Yamamoto and Lambo are missing.”
“Yamamoto and the other kid were taken by orcs,” Ryohei rasped. “I don’t think that the same happened to the other two.”
“Tenth’s luggage,” Gokudera whimpered. “He… he didn’t take me with him. Why? Did… did that stupid elf go with him?”
“The best thing we ought to do is to follow the orcs,” Reborn decided. “The two annoying brats might still be alive. Let’s first bury Hibari-”
“I’m not dead yet,” the dark-haired man snarled. “I just can’t move right now, and if you touch me then I’ll bite you to death.”
“-and we might as well use the traditional way. Do we have a boat to burn?”
“Sure,” Gokudera said gloomily, still lying motionlessly against the tree. Reborn kicked him a few times and then carried a loudly cursing Hibari towards the river. Then he threw the Man of Gondor into one of the boats and kicked it off the shore.
“He was a noble man,” Ryohei murmured with appreciation. “May he rest in peace.”
“Good riddance,” Gokudera muttered. “Never liked him anyway.”
“Now that this is done and over with, let’s start moving,” Reborn ordered. “To rescue Yamamoto Takeshi and Bovino Lambo. Squalo and Tsuna - let’s just hope that they’re well and together - are heading towards Mordor.”
“I don’t see why we have to save Yamamoto and Bovino,” Gokudera grumbled. “The world is better without those two.”
“Shut it and start moving.”
For three days they chased, running with remarkable speed through the land of Rohan, and it turned out that the orcs were not only born ugly, but also didn’t put much value on beauty sleep. Their advantage was increasing, and that put Reborn into a permanent bad mood. On the fourth day, they met one of the most peculiar men of Middle Earth who was leading a company of the Rohirrim. The man was Basil, the Third Marshal of Rohan and the nephew of the King of Rohan.
“What brings thee to these corners of the world?” Basil asked.
“We’re chasing after a group of orcs,” Reborn replied. “They took two of our friends. We, of course, expect them to be still alive. We hope, at least.”
“We attacked and destroyed a band of Orcs two days ago, yet we found no hobbits among them. I wish not to be a bringer of bad news, but I must tell thee that the chances of finding thy friends alive again are next to none. However, if thee insist I can defy my naturally suspicious instincts and in a show of naivety give thee a grant to tread through the lands of Rohan. Actually, I can give thee horses too.”
“Wow. I’m not wary of you at all, so thank you,” Reborn replied. “We really do need new horses to chase the orcs even though you just confirmed that our friends aren’t with them anymore.”
“I have always thought that a real man kills himself before getting killed,” Ryohei nodded. “That’s extreme!”
“It’s not extreme,” Gokudera snapped. “It’s wrong. Yamamoto and the stupid cow are not worth it.”
“I’m not giving you options,” Reborn told the two. “Let’s go. Basil of Rohan told me that they killed the Orcs nearby, so if we follow this trail we’re bound to find them.”
During the past three days these three fine humans men creatures had spent on finding Yamamoto Takeshi and Bovino Lambo, these two young adventurers were suffering greatly as captives of the orcs. The two were told rather quickly by a blond, extremely bored-looking man that they were not going to be killed, but that a bone or two might break.
Lambo was sure that he’d die anyway, considering that the orcs were forcing him to run, after pouring some odd liquid down his throat.
“Which one of you is Sawada Tsunayoshi?” Gamma asked, and Yamamoto narrowed his eyes.
“What do you want with Tsuna?”
“Don’t answer with a question!”
“Why are all those orcs different?” Lambo asked, and Gamma, who was used to answering questions quickly launched into a detailed explanation about the differences between the small orcs from the Misty Mountains and, bit bigger ones from Mordor and the large Uruk-hai from Isengrad.
Near the Fangorn Forest they were surrounded by a group of the Riders of Rohan, and a battle broke out. A bit of this and that happened, and when Gamma saw that the orcs would lose, he grabbed the both hobbits and tried to rush away. Unfortunately for him Change Of Plans took the form of an arrow and hit his shoulder, making him drop Lambo. Deciding then that surviving was more important that getting the Ring, the blond man dropped Yamamoto too and ran for his life.
The hobbits crawled into the forest, unnoticed in the darkness, and that’s why Reborn, Ryohei and Gokudera didn’t see them when they finally arrived. Lambo and Yamamoto continued their way deep into the forest and met a huge tree-like creature that Yamamoto recognized to be an Ent.
“Ho ho ho,” the Ent said. “My name is Nikolaus. I’m called Saint Claus. Or just Santa Claus, if you insist. Sometimes I’m called Santa or Claus. But you can-“
“Yeah okay we get it,” Lambo interrupted. “Defying all logical evidence I am going to do something slightly intelligent now and ask for your help to get us out of here.”
“Can I tell you about the History of Ents first?” Santa Claus asked. “I really want to.”
“But the time-“
“I am going to, anyway, even if you don’t want to listen. You see, we’re threatened by that guy called Genkishi-“
“I have heard of him!” Yamamoto exclaimed. “He’s the Enemy’s Assistant.”
“He’s enemy alright. His orcs are destroying the forest and killing the trees. I mean, fine, we like a good laugh as much as the next guy… but sometimes the laughter has to stop. And that’s usually when somebody dies.”
“Really?” Lambo gasped. “That’s when we usually start laughing.”
“Anyway. We want to attack Isengrad where the Tower of Orthanc is.”
“And that tower iiiiis…?”
“Genkishi’s home.”
“And what do you want from us again?”
“Join the march, of course. The more, the merrier!”
eborn couldn’t see Yamamoto or Lambo anywhere. Instead he found a leaf of mallorn and some crumbs of lembas. With this evidence of the hobbits' presence the three continued their search into the forest of Fangorn.
“I have a bad feeling,” Gokudera said suddenly. “It’s as if… as if I’m about to meet someone I’d rather not.”
“I have that same feeling too,” Reborn muttered, before squinting to see a certain someone walking towards them.
“Is it the White Wizard?” Ryohei asked. “I mean… he’s obviously a wizard, what with that stick he’s dragging along. And he’s dressed in white.”
“The White Wizard Genkishi?”
“Bad news never has a good timing.”
“I see a pine-apple-ish hairdo.”
“What? No, he’s DEAD!”
“Nononononono-“
“Uh-huh, he’s coming this way.”
“That’s EXTREME. I can almost recognize him!”
“Almost!? I can recognize him alright. Let’s leave before he recognizes us!”
“Too late,” Reborn said grimly. “He’s coming this way.” Gokudera grimaced, and took a step back. He could face orcs any day and twice of Thursdays, but this…. this…
“Nice to see you alive,” Strider lied with a forced smile. “Rokudo Mukuro.”
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A/N: And this would be the third part… Uh… compared to the KHR fandom, the Naruto fandom is like a battlefield. *exhausted* Sorry for the typos. I'm having a war out there in the Naruto fandom and currently this is my therapy...
Part 2
Part 4