[OOC] [FIC] Raising Children
It wasn’t unprecedented, but even as Mannen, Shin and Hajime’s souls began to take shape, none of them could quash the ugly feeling that rose and fell within them. Gou had tears in his eyes when he saw them. Kei looked indifferent, but his hands were tight and fisted. Sasame… Sasame he didn’t see, for Sasame was behind him, just a phantom voice in these times.
“Are you crying, Hayate?”
Hayate didn’t know what he looked like. But Hayate gave an answer nevertheless.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” his voice was raw and drawn, like a taunt string, “That would be insulting.”
Sasame gave him one of his ever-patient sighs.
-XX-
Leafe Knights didn’t have parents, so raising the new Leafe Knights from scratch fell onto them. Depending on how Leafe flowed back and forth in a natural rhythm, so did the children grow, slowly, like curious plants after spring.
Yet, not quite as patient… and quiet.
Early on, Mannen attached himself to Gou (perhaps he remembered the friendship they once shared?) and Hajime was Shin’s protector, keeping him from harm and hurt. Kei teased them often and Sasame wooed them with his gentle voice. Hayate, though, they stayed a good distance from at first.
It had hurt. But it was fair.
-XX-
They lived sparsely. Their toys, passed down from generation to generation went to the children, but Hayate silently would wind-chip some toys and leave it for them in the night, leaving them perplexed… but overjoyed at the mysterious appearances of new toys. Sasame simply shook his head, “You’re so nice.”
Hayate ignored him.
It was only much later that the children really understood Hayate. In the nights, Hayate and Sasame slept together (they could have had separate beds, but they didn’t. Why didn’t they? Hayate often thought about it long and hard, but such thoughts abandoned him when it was time to sleep and the light breathing of Sasame took him to happier times). But one night was different.
Sasame found himself roused by Mannen, his face red with shame, his fingers shaking. Hajime and Shin were behind him, tear-streaked. Sleep abandoned him and Sasame smiled, “What seems to be the problem?”
Mannen snorted (but his hands shook so much!) and said, “It-It’s just a stupid dream!”
“-It was not!” Hajime blurted out, holding Shin tightly, “I-It was so dark-and cold-,”
“What’s wrong with the cold?!” Mannen yelled back.
“-and she was so dark, Sasame,” Hajime wailed, “I’m-I’m scared. Don’t let her take me away!”
Shin nodded vigorously. Mannen looked like he wanted to yell at them more but he simply folded his arms together and refused to look at Sasame. More like Hayate every day… Sasame thought, running a hand through his hair. Then an idea hit him and he shook Hayate awake.
“Mother dear, wake up.”
“Who’re you calling mother you-,” Hayate groused and blinked, “Mannen. Hajime, Shin, what is it?”
“They had a dream,” Sasame explained and in a whisper that only they could hear, “About her.”
Hayate’s eyes were wide open, “Ah,” he said awkwardly, surveying them. Seeing them terrified brought back a pang of guilt in his heart, but Sasame put a hand on his shoulder and said, “I’ll go get something for them to drink.” The message was clear, deal with this.
Hayate mutely nodded and patted the bed, “Come sit,” he told them and like cubs, they crawled on with all fours, peering at Hayate like he was an alien. I might as well have been, he thought.
“She won’t come for you,” said Hayate softly, “Because the Pretear will save us.”
“Who?”
“Come closer,” and they did with wide eyes, “And I’ll tell you about the maiden who turns the red snow white…”
When Sasame returned with a few mugs of warm milk, he was greeted with quite a sight. Mannen, Hajime and Shin were all curled up around Hayate as Hayate, with his coolwarm eyes and oddly honest smile talked about how the knights upheld the world, how the pretear was their princess and the good of what they did. The honour… is ours and yours and you should always be proud, Sasame heard him and a lump grew in his throat, you should always be honoured.
Sasame left the room. Some hurts were not so easily brushed aside.
-XX-
One day, Gou found Shin at the old sanctuary, looking at the ice with a perplexed look.
“Nothing’s growing,” Shin said to Gou, not seeing the dark shape inside the glass, “It feels sad.”
Gou took him back without a word.
-XX-
They didn’t interact all that much with the human world unless they needed supplies. Of course, they had their respective jobs, but most of the money went into clothes and food. The rest was saved for emergencies. Still, Kei told them, we must never lose touch with that world. We’re there to protect it and because of that, we need to understand it. When the children were old enough to understand who and what they are, they began to travel with them to the other side.
Thinking back on it, Hayate should have known better than to let Mannen do anything without supervision. Often, they met up at Gou’s café before heading to Leafenia. Mannen had arrived, a mark on his cheek but his eyes blazing.
“Humans are jerks!”
Kei opened his mouth to utter ‘I agree’ but one look from Hayate stopped him in his tracks.
“What happened, Mannen?”
Mannen scowled, slight tears prickling the edges of his eyes. Of course, Hayate thought, he’s never been hurt before. And nothing hurts more than humans.
“He-He said knights did nothing! They didn’t matter! He’s stupid!” Mannen blurted out, balling his tiny fists, “I should have frozen him solid! Jerk! Stupid human jerk!”
Hayate rubbed his forehead, “Did you tell him what you were?”
“No!” Mannen never lied.
“Then listen to me, instead,” Hayate said, bending down and pointing to his heart (hearts, real hearts, they didn’t have, but they always felt their soul, guiding, telling, helping), “You are a Knight. You were chosen. Humans have to find their own path, so they scorn those who already have one. You’re chosen. You’re a Leafe Knight.”
Mannen sniffed, “Will humans ever like us?”
Hayate blinked, “… Perhaps.”
“Will the Pretear like us?”
Gou and Kei exchanged apprehensive looks, but Hayate ruffled Mannen’s hair gently, “Of course she’ll like you.”
Mannen beamed. Hayate couldn’t meet his eyes.
-XX-
When the first flickers of red snow began to invade the world, Sasame asked him, “They want to find her. Are you okay with this?”
Hayate thought about what they lost, what they regained, and what could be lost again.
“No,” he admitted and Sasame looked at him sadly, “But we have to. ... I don’t want everything I told them to be a lie.”
“You’re so nice, Hayate,” Sasame said, leaning on his shoulder. Hayate, for whatever reason, let him do it.