........
I am home now. I am very happy to be back, but I am sad that I still have more waiting... But only 4 days! Then Nick will be here and things will be peachy-keen. I just have to take deep breathes and remember I can do this.
I was looking at my lupus news the other day. There have been some interesting trials with new meds and such. It's interesting to think they might actually have something new for real relatively soon. There's also some new research in pinpointing some of the possible genetic factors involved, which is pretty sweet. Part of me is said that I have stayed so far removed from the medical profession despite my interest in it. I would love to be able to help find out what's wrong with me. Genetics can be frustrating though. Laypeople automatically equate genetics and heredity it seems. That's what my parents first wanted to know when we found out. First, 'will our other kids get it'? 'Is it our fault'? Then there was 'can she have children'? It's an interesting thing to think about, since this past year has been a complete turnaround from anything else I ever thought I would do in my life. At the moment I do want kids someday. But is it something I should do? I am tempted to say that since my condition has limited effects on my mental faculties it is not the wrong thing to do, morally speaking. I know I am competent enough to care for a little person, and lupus is not as bad as many would have people believe. Passing it on would not be the greatest evil.
Anyways.
I've been having lots of weird dreams lately. One was about Zac, which is crazy because I have not seen him even on the street in over a year. The other had Rafael in it. Somehow his beautiful tail got cut off. It scares be, because no one has seen him since I woke up that morning. It was almost two days ago. The latest one was just confusing, and I barely remember it. Emotionally tumultuous, most definitely--whatever it was.
Dad asked me about Jayme the other night. I have literally not spoken to her in years now. He wanted to know if I was ready to start. He could barely remember what started it all. Not surprising I suppose, he was never fond of Teagan. I am still happy with my decision, so I said no. It simply comes down to the fact that I just don't like her, and never will. Maybe I never did. Interesting how things turn out.
Tharak's been awake in my head these days. Maybe I should start writing again, see what he's really like.
I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall
I was looking at my lupus news the other day. There have been some interesting trials with new meds and such. It's interesting to think they might actually have something new for real relatively soon. There's also some new research in pinpointing some of the possible genetic factors involved, which is pretty sweet. Part of me is said that I have stayed so far removed from the medical profession despite my interest in it. I would love to be able to help find out what's wrong with me. Genetics can be frustrating though. Laypeople automatically equate genetics and heredity it seems. That's what my parents first wanted to know when we found out. First, 'will our other kids get it'? 'Is it our fault'? Then there was 'can she have children'? It's an interesting thing to think about, since this past year has been a complete turnaround from anything else I ever thought I would do in my life. At the moment I do want kids someday. But is it something I should do? I am tempted to say that since my condition has limited effects on my mental faculties it is not the wrong thing to do, morally speaking. I know I am competent enough to care for a little person, and lupus is not as bad as many would have people believe. Passing it on would not be the greatest evil.
Anyways.
I've been having lots of weird dreams lately. One was about Zac, which is crazy because I have not seen him even on the street in over a year. The other had Rafael in it. Somehow his beautiful tail got cut off. It scares be, because no one has seen him since I woke up that morning. It was almost two days ago. The latest one was just confusing, and I barely remember it. Emotionally tumultuous, most definitely--whatever it was.
Dad asked me about Jayme the other night. I have literally not spoken to her in years now. He wanted to know if I was ready to start. He could barely remember what started it all. Not surprising I suppose, he was never fond of Teagan. I am still happy with my decision, so I said no. It simply comes down to the fact that I just don't like her, and never will. Maybe I never did. Interesting how things turn out.
Tharak's been awake in my head these days. Maybe I should start writing again, see what he's really like.
I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall