Open letter time!
Dear Crazy old religious woman that lives in her van from what I can tell;
I'm very happy for you that you have your beliefs and friends that think the same as you. I'm quite happy that you've even managed to become friends with my mother. But I don't appreciate being cornered in my former living room and told that everything I personally believe in is wrong and frankly I find it fucking rude when you imply that I'm a horrible daughter who's breaking my mother's heart by not immediately converting to your religious beliefs the second you tell me that the world's going to end. Was I suppose to through my hands in the air and declare "Oh lord! I've been a fool! Guide me towards the path of enlightenment!"
Whoops! My bad.
Excuse me if my own personal beliefs and ethics keep me from jumping on that zany bandwagon of yours. Sorry if I happen to think it's more valid to research the history of a religion to see where it's roots lay before signing up for it. By the way, according to your religion the end of the world was suppose to be a hundred years ago and this theme of "it'll be any day now"..Kind of not selling it for you.
In short, if someone politely declines your invitation to learn more about what you think every time you bring it up (And 4 times in two minutes is kind of a lot) then they probably don't want to and aren't going to change their mind no matter how much you re-inform them that they're going to die while you're going to live in eternal paradise.
Yours truly,
The girl that gave up her bed for you to sleep in.
PS: It's people like you that make me hate religion all together. I should have realized something was totally wrong with you when you asked me to go on a liquor run with you.
Dear Mom;
Thanks so very much for standing there and smiling happily as your crazy nut-job of a friend told me how much of a disappointment I am to you. Thanks so much for respecting me and my beliefs when I go out of my way to do that for you and never question you on yours. That's really great. So great that I just don't have the words for it.
Thanks so much for finding that whole situation delightful and humorous even after I expressed to you how annoyed and upset the first round of this two part bible thump made me. Thanks again, for merely claiming to be unable to do anything about it, even though it occurred in your home, in your presence. Heaven forbid that you should actual intervene and exercise some kind of presence as the self proclaimed "Master of the house".
And finally, I'm so very very sorry that you felt guilty about me being upset after the fact, even though you had very opportunity to prevent the whole thing from the second it start, or when I ask you for a little help, or the time I told you that your bat-shit insane friend was bothering me. I didn't mean to be a buzz kill.
Love,
Your offspring
Dear Deity of the crazy bible thumping people around the world;
Did you know your followers are, from what I can tell, all fucking insane? Now I don't know if this was your plan or something, but it's really messed up, and some of them are really god damn rude about it. You might want to do something about that. Maybe hold a lecture about tact and how to use it, or have a little pow-wow on respecting the rights and beliefs of others.
Unless you totally support this kind of thing. Then you're just a giant asshole. A really fucking huge one.
Respectfully,
Just another poor bastard that has to put up with your side-show freaks.
And that was my night. And how was everyone else's evening?
I'm very happy for you that you have your beliefs and friends that think the same as you. I'm quite happy that you've even managed to become friends with my mother. But I don't appreciate being cornered in my former living room and told that everything I personally believe in is wrong and frankly I find it fucking rude when you imply that I'm a horrible daughter who's breaking my mother's heart by not immediately converting to your religious beliefs the second you tell me that the world's going to end. Was I suppose to through my hands in the air and declare "Oh lord! I've been a fool! Guide me towards the path of enlightenment!"
Whoops! My bad.
Excuse me if my own personal beliefs and ethics keep me from jumping on that zany bandwagon of yours. Sorry if I happen to think it's more valid to research the history of a religion to see where it's roots lay before signing up for it. By the way, according to your religion the end of the world was suppose to be a hundred years ago and this theme of "it'll be any day now"..Kind of not selling it for you.
In short, if someone politely declines your invitation to learn more about what you think every time you bring it up (And 4 times in two minutes is kind of a lot) then they probably don't want to and aren't going to change their mind no matter how much you re-inform them that they're going to die while you're going to live in eternal paradise.
Yours truly,
The girl that gave up her bed for you to sleep in.
PS: It's people like you that make me hate religion all together. I should have realized something was totally wrong with you when you asked me to go on a liquor run with you.
Dear Mom;
Thanks so very much for standing there and smiling happily as your crazy nut-job of a friend told me how much of a disappointment I am to you. Thanks so much for respecting me and my beliefs when I go out of my way to do that for you and never question you on yours. That's really great. So great that I just don't have the words for it.
Thanks so much for finding that whole situation delightful and humorous even after I expressed to you how annoyed and upset the first round of this two part bible thump made me. Thanks again, for merely claiming to be unable to do anything about it, even though it occurred in your home, in your presence. Heaven forbid that you should actual intervene and exercise some kind of presence as the self proclaimed "Master of the house".
And finally, I'm so very very sorry that you felt guilty about me being upset after the fact, even though you had very opportunity to prevent the whole thing from the second it start, or when I ask you for a little help, or the time I told you that your bat-shit insane friend was bothering me. I didn't mean to be a buzz kill.
Love,
Your offspring
Dear Deity of the crazy bible thumping people around the world;
Did you know your followers are, from what I can tell, all fucking insane? Now I don't know if this was your plan or something, but it's really messed up, and some of them are really god damn rude about it. You might want to do something about that. Maybe hold a lecture about tact and how to use it, or have a little pow-wow on respecting the rights and beliefs of others.
Unless you totally support this kind of thing. Then you're just a giant asshole. A really fucking huge one.
Respectfully,
Just another poor bastard that has to put up with your side-show freaks.
And that was my night. And how was everyone else's evening?