(no subject)
The whole day was a consecutive series of moments.
Each one with it's own depth, meaning.
I really think that my way of looking at life
is going to be different from now on.
The day, as it progressed, had all of these different vibes.
I went from feeling content, to completely self contained,
to completely in tune with the life strings of the earth.
Uhh.. it's really hard to explain,
but I believe said energies do exist.
They flow between all of us, whether we decide
to acknowledge them or not.
Damn. And I thought Waking Life was intense.
It was philisophical intense, I can't deny that,
but really I think one must experience these kinds
of ideas firsthand. You really have to be on the
same level, or at least a near level, with the person
who is conveying their ideas. It's hard to get into
that sort of state of understanding when you're not
immersed in it. And when movies can be kind of
entrancing, it's just not the same. You can't get
invovled with a movie. You can't add your complimentary
interruptions. You can't put in your own peice
and really grow from a movie. People
need a higher level of communication.
Which brings me to Phillip's experiment last night.
Without verbal communication, it is extremely
diffucult to express ideas. You can express wants
and needs somewhat easier, but it isn't quite as effective.
Take for example, when Cory made a sort of running sound
with his foot on the ground, it reminded Phillip
of Moog. And he started to try to convey to us that
he missed Moog. He made funny faces and
running gestures. He was relying on body language alone
to convey and idea. And emotion. I couldn't understand.
I didn't understand until he finally broke down and told
me that he missed Moog. Of course, a lot of ideas I did
understand, but this was with this pre-knowledge of
what he was trying to convey. Verbal communication,
though even in it's absense, made it clear what he was
trying to say.
Body language, though, is the foundation for every
other type of communication we have.
What is really strange to think about is everything
on a molecular level. Smaller even. An atomic level.
Smaller even. With electrons and protons and whatever
is categorized under that and under that and under that, etc.
How could all of these things work together to form
what we know as life? I know it's out there, and right here,
but my mind is unable to comprehend the depth of it.
And I wonder if I believe it. I suppose I have to,
it's been scientifically proven. But then, that's only what
they tell me. How do I really know. Could I not just as
easily believe in life energies, and just life in itself?
I've never experienced a molecule. They tell me I'm made of them,
but how can I be sure? I know I've experienced a life force.
I'm sure it's here. Yesterday I felt such a yearning for
human contact, but not even contact. Interaction. But then I realized,
it wasn't even human interaction that I was yearning for.
It was simply and interaction with life.
I spent some time just cuddling with Moog, and I was beyond content.
Thing is, I could be playing with a bug and be just as content.
No sort of gaming device could have put me in that, I don't know,
state of mind? It was just really peaceful. I had always known this
before, but today it was really shown to me. People need
interaction with life. People were never meant to be alone.
Life is shared between every being, and Life Is Good.
(Also, I didn't know where to insert this, but it goes with what I'm saying:
Phillip and I spent a good long time just... staring doesn't seem to
be the appropriate word, but it's all that makes sense... staring at each
other from across the room. I couldn't even begin to describe what
what going through my head or what I was feeling. It was pretty intense.
It was nothing like I'd ever experienced before. And I am convinced we
were on the exact same page. It was beautiful. Somehow, melancholy, I think.
But that was life. That was the chord of the earth. That was a pure human
connection. That was so much more. That was unbearable. And I love him
more than anything.)
It's going to be a trip going back to the daily grind,
but somehow, I don't think it'll be the same.
I don't want it to be the same.
I'll probably be doing a lot more ranting. =]
Also, will someone please print this out for me
and give it to me later? My computer is sans printer,
and I'll like to tape this entry into my journal.
I love you guys.
Also, my appreciation and respect go out to Vance
for being so cool and letting us stay in his designated
space for so long. You're great.
No wonder my Phillie likes you so much. Thanks. =]