Synonyms for random
Monday July 31st 2006
3:27am
The night-owl ressurection.
I am mortally fucking afraid that something is going to happen to my writing now that teenopendiary has shut down and I can't figure out how to fucking import my entries from years 2000-2006 into a different journal on opendiary.
There is a hardcopy in my room and I'm thinking that I should either:
Hide it somewhere safe or keep it as close to me as possible.
I've had this long-time consistent keen interest in large metal safes.
chokechokechokechoke
Ha, I should find that old entry that I wrote about how I was convinced that ADD was a scam on middleclass dumb puppy society and read it to soak up the irony.
Those questionnaire tests to detect ADD are pretty much useless
(my psychologist agrees)
but I took one and it -did- explain some other symptoms that I hadn't even realized to be related to the disorder.
I laughed when it asked about being anxious (such as in situations like driving or waiting) and do you do anything to avoid being delayed etc etc.
I -hate- being delayed.
stopped.
put in traffic.
waiting for lights, trains, other cars.
That's prolly why I like Missouri.
Although, I am seriously worried that I am going to wound a dumbass pedestrian collegefuck that doesn't realize like every citizen of the state of New Jersey that if you are in the road, YOU MAY GET HIT BY A CAR THAT IS GOING BY AND SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK OUT FOR THEM AND NOT GET IN THEIR WAY.
But you know, that's my battle.
I have to worry about killing college kids and I will just have to face that.
Everyone has things to worry about.
That's why they make the worry dolls, you know.
If nobody worried, what the fuck would the worry doll's purpose in life be?
It can't get rid of something that doesn't exist.
You'd just be putting them under your pillow thinking, "Well, jeez, this is weird, I'm putting these worry doll things under the pillow because... what.... they like the temperature or like...... the scent of bedhead is like their oxygen... or um.... they catch all the dreams that leak out of your head and eat them to keep them from escaping and becoming realities or something."
Yeah, worrying is key in a way.
But I believe that about alot of aspects of life with negative connotations.
----
Best summer movie of 2006: Clerks II, hands down.
Best Gia-predicted summer movie of 2007: Transformers.
--
For lunch today I had mozzarella cheese from a deli that was voted #2 in New Jersey for this annual contest between delis and such.
Buffalo milk in it.
So delicious; not soggy.
--
Speaking of summers:
Once this summer my dad woke me up and gave me a giant black and white striped wild turkey feather (over two feet long) that he'd found in the woods behind my aunt's house for in case I was in need of a quill.
(I need to get an india ink well.)
Another time this summer he woke me up and he was holding a cage with a baby racoon in it.
--
Alan is home now.
C'est tres bien.
I explained to him my reasoning behind answering "erratic" as one of my suggestions of a word to use when he asked for a good synonym for the word "random" during a text message that occured early into his month long fest in the west.
It turned out that probability was behind my reasoning.
(Which makes sense considering that it is part of the foundation of probability principles)
What I said to him was this:
i think erratic is good with some context of random
just because
erratic means something that occurs sporafically in time
and for something to be random, there needs to be
more than one occurance before the word makes sense
so it also makes reference to time and also different occurances having different outcomes
i think that's why I said erratic as a synonym for random
when you asked that one time
He said that he was glad that he'd asked me because he knew that I would actually try to think of synonyms.
--
Ha. fuck yes thesaurus.com!
Main Entry: casual
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: chance
Synonyms: accidental, adventitious, by chance, contingent, erratic, extemporaneous, extempore, fluky, fortuitous, impromptu, improvised, impulsive, incidental, infrequent, irregular, occasional, odd, offhand, random, serendipitous, spontaneous, uncertain, unexpected, unintentional, unplanned, unpremeditated
Antonyms: arranged, deliberate, planned, predetermined, premeditated
Source: Roget's New Millennium Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.2.1)
Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
--
So.
I bought this camo lighter on the boardwalk because I'd lost mine and I was getting tired of being Joey and Ryder's dependent.
Then, at Andy's party, I ask Clark for a lighter and he hands me my camo lighter
(which I suppose I'd left there during clarkapalooza)
and he asked if he could keep it and I said yes and I just thought it was so great that it ended up being in his posession.
there is word of a possible disappearance of it, however, which sucks...that was a sweet lighter. I have faith that it will turn up again.
A funny thing about this is that exactly one year ago I wrote an enry called, "The camo shirt affair" and it was about Steve and I getting to know one another and it's title was about how we both had the same camoflage t-shirt.
--
Know what's a funny word to look at?
Leadeth.
leadeth you astray.
ashtray.
i would never leadeth you ashtray.....baby.
--
The other day
(friday)
I found a tiny silver angel impressed into this little blue velvet casing.
It was the angel of "prosperity" who would acquiesce with "success and knowledge."
It was something my mother had given me years ago and I shrugged and tossed it into my bag.
I received a phone call soon after and had to make a trip to Old Tappan as quickly as possible because I was under ridiculous time constraint.
I raced and to my surprise had green lights the entire way there and back.
This has -never- happened to me before.
Not on a 15 to 20 minute drive.
I get back, finish my errands, and am on my way to my friend Jared's birthday party.
I call to ask where it is and he says that he is just arriving there as well and that I have the "timing of an angel."
It's things like that, you know.
Once I was told that it was believed that it was -I- that was the angel, but, when was the last time that you saw an angel that looked like this?
--
Joe, Jasko, Clark, Alan, and I planned a surprise birthday party for Andy this week.
It was fantastic in my opinion and Andy got a birthday bottle of Jack just like I did for mine.
I was in the presence of Alyssa Collins for the second time in my life.
The first time was outside Uncle gio's shortly after James and I had broken up.
I'd threatened to break her fingers if she touched him and at a party some weeks later, she had touched him.
I was furious and made her my mortal enemy, something I am not really apt to have.
A few months ago I'd gave it up and figured that, what the hell, I didn't really care who James kissed these days anyway, why should I hold a grudge?
Then, I met her and I realized that despite others backing up my shit-talk of her with other shit-talk that was apparently widely viewed as correct, I couldn't really say anything, I didn't really know the girl.
I just knew that she'd kissed my boy once and I had been pissed about it.
I met her at Andy's and I peed in her backyard and I actually get along with her pretty well.
She's sort of like me except I think that the way she goes about her business makes her suspect to criticism by people who don't understand why she is doing something any certain way.
Anyway, I just thought it was a really fucking interesting turn of events.
I guess Luke is right, friends ARE like flowers and sometimes they pop out of the ground even when you haven't planted them.
--
If I ever wrote a biography of Joe Boswell, I think I would make this picture it's cover.
And inside, somewhere, I would make Joe realize that we made kiss kiss, bang bang famous among our friends that night that we drank rum and it became my new favorite movie.
(Which I didn't really realize until Dante had said something in his garage about seeing it.)
And then i thought about where my copy was and I was like, HA! I lent justin my copy today and I -know- he'll love it because we have the same taste and this is awesooommmme.
--
If the previous section's picture wetted your appetite with more discussions on bruises, specifically, the pleasure of pressing bruises and/or irritating wounds or infections, then you will enjoy this entry's end.
--
This is a picture that I wish that I had taken:
--
I keep talking lately about how things are "inconsequential."
I have no idea why, but I know that I whole heartedly believe it at every moment that it suddenly dawns on me to say it
The past week has just been:
1)presentation of some sort of conversation
2) other person talking about some sitution
3)I answer that "ah, yeah, but, you know, it's all inconsequential anyway, so, you know."
--
I christened my new pipe, "the free agent" the night that Steve quit Gunslikegirls
(last thursday)
Presenting Sir Stephen Jasko, the free agent:
Presenting the night of the christening session:
Presenting subsequent bloody knuckles match following:
Presenting a random cowboy in New Jersey who is in Steve Dadaian's band
(you know steve, his sweet arpeggios will melt your face)
--
What is it Gianna?!
Seems to me like it's a Brian Eaches made visually captivating presentation of Doof during his eccentric fits of attempting to eat large inedible objects.
It's been a pleasure.
--
So, i think i might like the taste of whiskey so much that my system forgets that it's supposed to be poisoning it and causing it to be drunk.
--
Don't burn the books.
--
Meet the parents is funny because Ben stiller performs this prayer for grace:
"Oh.....Dear god....Thank-you.
You are..... such a good god... to us.
A.. A kind and gentle and... accomodating god...
And we thank-you, oh sweet.....sweet..... lord of.. hosts... for the....
smorgasbord you have soooo... aptly lain on our table this day...
and EACH day...by day...day by day........by day...... oh,
dear lord, three things..... we pray.....
to love thee more dearly....
to see thee more clearly.....
to... follow thee more nearly..
day.......by day..(someone clears their throat).....by day... AMEN!"
This has been a fantastic session of anally retentive movie quotes by Gianna Volpe.
--
This clip makes me so incredibly happy.
and.
all summer i've been saying, "BAH!" at the strangest, most unexpected times.
Like when I was driving with Christie to go to Joe's house and I approached a light and realized that it was a no turn on red.
I went, "BAH!" and then I thought of Luke and then Christie said, "No turn on red" and then I said, "I know dude, that's why I went..." and then I stopped and thought it funnier that the, "BAH!" had gone pretty much completely un-noticed.
--
I don't really have any sets of matching earrings anymore.
Except these really old black metal skull earrings that I stole from the mall sometime in high school and they are really heavy!
So, I'm going to start taking them off at night.
I think my right bottom one got infected somehow and it's an old piercing so it pretty much never ever gets infected and I'm actually relishing it.
Miniscule infections and achy bruises are not always entirely unwelcome guests.
Sometimes a good bruise ache or infected ear piercing or pimple or scab is kind of sweet.
Maybe it reminds me that I am alive and that my cells are functioning or maybe it's some primal attraction.
I haven't really ever figured out how pressing bruises feels good to me.
Maybe it's related to how my autistic stepbrother's mother explained to me that the reason why he would crushing his head hard against mine or squeeze me hard and ask me to tell him that it was too hard or ask me if -I- thought he was squeezing too hard was because the pressure provided great relief to him and calmed him significantly in times of stress.
She would stand there and apply pressure to his temples somehow.
I remember watching her do it once.
I don't know.
or maybe it has to do with the reason that cutters cut, the way that pain relieves pressure.
Oh my god, (no pun intended), okay, so in my search for an answer, I came upon this:
http://www.justforcatholics.org/a128.htm
And in my posting of that link I cam upon this:
the realization that 'no pun intended' has npi as it's initials.
--
Fuck, okay, so basically.
this whole bruise thing.
I've just found four other people randomly talking about how they all share the same interest and they all state that they have no fucking idea why.
AH!
I've found something and it matches one of my hypotheses:
Varieties of Self-Harm
Self-injury is separated by Favazza (1986) into three types. Major self-mutilation (including such things as castration, amputation of limbs, enucleation of eyes, etc) is fairly rare and usually associated with psychotic states. Stereotypic self-injury comprises the sort of rhythmic head-banging, etc, seen in autistic, mentally retarded, and psychotic people. The most common form of self-mutilation, and the topic of this site, is called superficial or moderate. This can include cutting, burning, scratching, skin-picking, hair-pulling, bone-breaking, hitting, deliberate overuse injuries, interference with wound healing, and virtually any other method of inflicting damage on oneself. Both in clinical studies and in an informal Usenet survey, the most popular act was cutting, and the most popular sites were wrists, upper arms, and inner thighs. Many people have used more than one method, but even they tend to favor one or two preferred methods and sites of abuse.
(http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/fwhat.html)
Woah... One of these websites lists "multiple piercing and tattoos" as one of them.
I think that's kind of a reach, but I do get urges to get piercings and tattoos.
Although i think that has more to do with aesthetics and less to do with relieving pressure through pain cuz... piercing's aren't really painful anyways.
Ha, okay, so this site definitely has this shit right. They totally back up my piercing argument and then basically say, "But Gianna, in your case, it's still considered you being a self-injurt little fucker."
Which is funny because I am alot of the subtle things on that list.
You know nail-biting and such.
WHICH I HAVEN'T DONE IN A WEEK NOW!!!!!
I'm going for it this time, yeehaw.
Anyway, yes, presenting the answer to my bruise pressing curiousity endeavor:
Symptoms of self-injurious behavior
Adolescents who engage in self-injurious behavior are performing deliberate and repetitive acts of physical harm to their own bodies.3 The behavior is usually done secretly and privately. It may be planned and ritualistically performed, or it may occur impulsively and without forethought.
The most common manifestation of self-injury is cutting and slashing.4 Although most self-harmers have a preferred method, many teenagers who habitually hurt themselves do so in a variety of ways: burning the skin, limb-hitting and bruising, head-banging, picking at wounds, peeling the skin, deep biting, severe skin scratching, nail and cuticle biting, pulling out hair, bone breaking, swallowing sharp objects and inserting sharp objects or toxic liquids into the body. The most targeted body parts are the upper limbs. Adolescents may use razorblades, scissors and knives to cut the skin, and cigarettes, lighters and matches to burn themselves. They can also take seemingly benign objects such as paperclips, pen caps, jewelry, fingernails and nail clippers, and turn them into self-harming tools.
Contrary to popular belief, tattoos and body piercings are not considered forms of self-injurious behavior. This is because they are performed by someone else in a social context and are primarily designed to beautify the body.5 However, teenagers who allow piercings to become infected and then pick at the wounds or secretly pierce or tattoo their own bodies to relieve anxiety or "feel better" are engaging in self-injury.
(http://www.prponline.net/School/SAJ/Articles/understanding_self_injurious_behavior.htm)
Woah.
okay. my search is open.
because I just found this amongst my search.
http://www.unf.edu/mudlark/mudlark02/fd06.html
My research has really tuckered me out, as has the slow rising of the sun.
you know... posteth and run. that sort of thing.
oh shit.
the chocolate in my pocket melted.
It didn't melt in my pocket thank goodness, but, I wanted to eat it!
--
Whenever I am around Christie and she says, 'fish,' then i will say back, "fishhhhhhh" and then she'll remember how I told her how Luke says 'theatre' and she will say, "theataaaaahhhh" and I will smile and say it too.
--
Shoes in New Jersey; Shoe Jersey.
--
"They're illusions, Michael, a trick is something that a whore does for money..."
(Gob notices small children standing within hearing range and tries to cover up)
"...orrrrr cocaine."
-Gob; Arrested Development.
over and out
3:27am
The night-owl ressurection.
I am mortally fucking afraid that something is going to happen to my writing now that teenopendiary has shut down and I can't figure out how to fucking import my entries from years 2000-2006 into a different journal on opendiary.
There is a hardcopy in my room and I'm thinking that I should either:
Hide it somewhere safe or keep it as close to me as possible.
I've had this long-time consistent keen interest in large metal safes.
chokechokechokechoke
Ha, I should find that old entry that I wrote about how I was convinced that ADD was a scam on middleclass dumb puppy society and read it to soak up the irony.
Those questionnaire tests to detect ADD are pretty much useless
(my psychologist agrees)
but I took one and it -did- explain some other symptoms that I hadn't even realized to be related to the disorder.
I laughed when it asked about being anxious (such as in situations like driving or waiting) and do you do anything to avoid being delayed etc etc.
I -hate- being delayed.
stopped.
put in traffic.
waiting for lights, trains, other cars.
That's prolly why I like Missouri.
Although, I am seriously worried that I am going to wound a dumbass pedestrian collegefuck that doesn't realize like every citizen of the state of New Jersey that if you are in the road, YOU MAY GET HIT BY A CAR THAT IS GOING BY AND SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK OUT FOR THEM AND NOT GET IN THEIR WAY.
But you know, that's my battle.
I have to worry about killing college kids and I will just have to face that.
Everyone has things to worry about.
That's why they make the worry dolls, you know.
If nobody worried, what the fuck would the worry doll's purpose in life be?
It can't get rid of something that doesn't exist.
You'd just be putting them under your pillow thinking, "Well, jeez, this is weird, I'm putting these worry doll things under the pillow because... what.... they like the temperature or like...... the scent of bedhead is like their oxygen... or um.... they catch all the dreams that leak out of your head and eat them to keep them from escaping and becoming realities or something."
Yeah, worrying is key in a way.
But I believe that about alot of aspects of life with negative connotations.
----
Best summer movie of 2006: Clerks II, hands down.
Best Gia-predicted summer movie of 2007: Transformers.
--
For lunch today I had mozzarella cheese from a deli that was voted #2 in New Jersey for this annual contest between delis and such.
Buffalo milk in it.
So delicious; not soggy.
--
Speaking of summers:
Once this summer my dad woke me up and gave me a giant black and white striped wild turkey feather (over two feet long) that he'd found in the woods behind my aunt's house for in case I was in need of a quill.
(I need to get an india ink well.)
Another time this summer he woke me up and he was holding a cage with a baby racoon in it.
--
Alan is home now.
C'est tres bien.
I explained to him my reasoning behind answering "erratic" as one of my suggestions of a word to use when he asked for a good synonym for the word "random" during a text message that occured early into his month long fest in the west.
It turned out that probability was behind my reasoning.
(Which makes sense considering that it is part of the foundation of probability principles)
What I said to him was this:
i think erratic is good with some context of random
just because
erratic means something that occurs sporafically in time
and for something to be random, there needs to be
more than one occurance before the word makes sense
so it also makes reference to time and also different occurances having different outcomes
i think that's why I said erratic as a synonym for random
when you asked that one time
He said that he was glad that he'd asked me because he knew that I would actually try to think of synonyms.
--
Ha. fuck yes thesaurus.com!
Main Entry: casual
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: chance
Synonyms: accidental, adventitious, by chance, contingent, erratic, extemporaneous, extempore, fluky, fortuitous, impromptu, improvised, impulsive, incidental, infrequent, irregular, occasional, odd, offhand, random, serendipitous, spontaneous, uncertain, unexpected, unintentional, unplanned, unpremeditated
Antonyms: arranged, deliberate, planned, predetermined, premeditated
Source: Roget's New Millennium Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.2.1)
Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
--
So.
I bought this camo lighter on the boardwalk because I'd lost mine and I was getting tired of being Joey and Ryder's dependent.
Then, at Andy's party, I ask Clark for a lighter and he hands me my camo lighter
(which I suppose I'd left there during clarkapalooza)
and he asked if he could keep it and I said yes and I just thought it was so great that it ended up being in his posession.
there is word of a possible disappearance of it, however, which sucks...that was a sweet lighter. I have faith that it will turn up again.
A funny thing about this is that exactly one year ago I wrote an enry called, "The camo shirt affair" and it was about Steve and I getting to know one another and it's title was about how we both had the same camoflage t-shirt.
--
Know what's a funny word to look at?
Leadeth.
leadeth you astray.
ashtray.
i would never leadeth you ashtray.....baby.
--
The other day
(friday)
I found a tiny silver angel impressed into this little blue velvet casing.
It was the angel of "prosperity" who would acquiesce with "success and knowledge."
It was something my mother had given me years ago and I shrugged and tossed it into my bag.
I received a phone call soon after and had to make a trip to Old Tappan as quickly as possible because I was under ridiculous time constraint.
I raced and to my surprise had green lights the entire way there and back.
This has -never- happened to me before.
Not on a 15 to 20 minute drive.
I get back, finish my errands, and am on my way to my friend Jared's birthday party.
I call to ask where it is and he says that he is just arriving there as well and that I have the "timing of an angel."
It's things like that, you know.
Once I was told that it was believed that it was -I- that was the angel, but, when was the last time that you saw an angel that looked like this?
--
Joe, Jasko, Clark, Alan, and I planned a surprise birthday party for Andy this week.
It was fantastic in my opinion and Andy got a birthday bottle of Jack just like I did for mine.
I was in the presence of Alyssa Collins for the second time in my life.
The first time was outside Uncle gio's shortly after James and I had broken up.
I'd threatened to break her fingers if she touched him and at a party some weeks later, she had touched him.
I was furious and made her my mortal enemy, something I am not really apt to have.
A few months ago I'd gave it up and figured that, what the hell, I didn't really care who James kissed these days anyway, why should I hold a grudge?
Then, I met her and I realized that despite others backing up my shit-talk of her with other shit-talk that was apparently widely viewed as correct, I couldn't really say anything, I didn't really know the girl.
I just knew that she'd kissed my boy once and I had been pissed about it.
I met her at Andy's and I peed in her backyard and I actually get along with her pretty well.
She's sort of like me except I think that the way she goes about her business makes her suspect to criticism by people who don't understand why she is doing something any certain way.
Anyway, I just thought it was a really fucking interesting turn of events.
I guess Luke is right, friends ARE like flowers and sometimes they pop out of the ground even when you haven't planted them.
--
If I ever wrote a biography of Joe Boswell, I think I would make this picture it's cover.
And inside, somewhere, I would make Joe realize that we made kiss kiss, bang bang famous among our friends that night that we drank rum and it became my new favorite movie.
(Which I didn't really realize until Dante had said something in his garage about seeing it.)
And then i thought about where my copy was and I was like, HA! I lent justin my copy today and I -know- he'll love it because we have the same taste and this is awesooommmme.
--
If the previous section's picture wetted your appetite with more discussions on bruises, specifically, the pleasure of pressing bruises and/or irritating wounds or infections, then you will enjoy this entry's end.
--
This is a picture that I wish that I had taken:
--
I keep talking lately about how things are "inconsequential."
I have no idea why, but I know that I whole heartedly believe it at every moment that it suddenly dawns on me to say it
The past week has just been:
1)presentation of some sort of conversation
2) other person talking about some sitution
3)I answer that "ah, yeah, but, you know, it's all inconsequential anyway, so, you know."
--
I christened my new pipe, "the free agent" the night that Steve quit Gunslikegirls
(last thursday)
Presenting Sir Stephen Jasko, the free agent:
Presenting the night of the christening session:
Presenting subsequent bloody knuckles match following:
Presenting a random cowboy in New Jersey who is in Steve Dadaian's band
(you know steve, his sweet arpeggios will melt your face)
--
What is it Gianna?!
Seems to me like it's a Brian Eaches made visually captivating presentation of Doof during his eccentric fits of attempting to eat large inedible objects.
It's been a pleasure.
--
So, i think i might like the taste of whiskey so much that my system forgets that it's supposed to be poisoning it and causing it to be drunk.
--
Don't burn the books.
--
Meet the parents is funny because Ben stiller performs this prayer for grace:
"Oh.....Dear god....Thank-you.
You are..... such a good god... to us.
A.. A kind and gentle and... accomodating god...
And we thank-you, oh sweet.....sweet..... lord of.. hosts... for the....
smorgasbord you have soooo... aptly lain on our table this day...
and EACH day...by day...day by day........by day...... oh,
dear lord, three things..... we pray.....
to love thee more dearly....
to see thee more clearly.....
to... follow thee more nearly..
day.......by day..(someone clears their throat).....by day... AMEN!"
This has been a fantastic session of anally retentive movie quotes by Gianna Volpe.
--
This clip makes me so incredibly happy.
and.
all summer i've been saying, "BAH!" at the strangest, most unexpected times.
Like when I was driving with Christie to go to Joe's house and I approached a light and realized that it was a no turn on red.
I went, "BAH!" and then I thought of Luke and then Christie said, "No turn on red" and then I said, "I know dude, that's why I went..." and then I stopped and thought it funnier that the, "BAH!" had gone pretty much completely un-noticed.
--
I don't really have any sets of matching earrings anymore.
Except these really old black metal skull earrings that I stole from the mall sometime in high school and they are really heavy!
So, I'm going to start taking them off at night.
I think my right bottom one got infected somehow and it's an old piercing so it pretty much never ever gets infected and I'm actually relishing it.
Miniscule infections and achy bruises are not always entirely unwelcome guests.
Sometimes a good bruise ache or infected ear piercing or pimple or scab is kind of sweet.
Maybe it reminds me that I am alive and that my cells are functioning or maybe it's some primal attraction.
I haven't really ever figured out how pressing bruises feels good to me.
Maybe it's related to how my autistic stepbrother's mother explained to me that the reason why he would crushing his head hard against mine or squeeze me hard and ask me to tell him that it was too hard or ask me if -I- thought he was squeezing too hard was because the pressure provided great relief to him and calmed him significantly in times of stress.
She would stand there and apply pressure to his temples somehow.
I remember watching her do it once.
I don't know.
or maybe it has to do with the reason that cutters cut, the way that pain relieves pressure.
Oh my god, (no pun intended), okay, so in my search for an answer, I came upon this:
http://www.justforcatholics.org/a128.htm
And in my posting of that link I cam upon this:
the realization that 'no pun intended' has npi as it's initials.
--
Fuck, okay, so basically.
this whole bruise thing.
I've just found four other people randomly talking about how they all share the same interest and they all state that they have no fucking idea why.
AH!
I've found something and it matches one of my hypotheses:
Varieties of Self-Harm
Self-injury is separated by Favazza (1986) into three types. Major self-mutilation (including such things as castration, amputation of limbs, enucleation of eyes, etc) is fairly rare and usually associated with psychotic states. Stereotypic self-injury comprises the sort of rhythmic head-banging, etc, seen in autistic, mentally retarded, and psychotic people. The most common form of self-mutilation, and the topic of this site, is called superficial or moderate. This can include cutting, burning, scratching, skin-picking, hair-pulling, bone-breaking, hitting, deliberate overuse injuries, interference with wound healing, and virtually any other method of inflicting damage on oneself. Both in clinical studies and in an informal Usenet survey, the most popular act was cutting, and the most popular sites were wrists, upper arms, and inner thighs. Many people have used more than one method, but even they tend to favor one or two preferred methods and sites of abuse.
(http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/fwhat.html)
Woah... One of these websites lists "multiple piercing and tattoos" as one of them.
I think that's kind of a reach, but I do get urges to get piercings and tattoos.
Although i think that has more to do with aesthetics and less to do with relieving pressure through pain cuz... piercing's aren't really painful anyways.
Ha, okay, so this site definitely has this shit right. They totally back up my piercing argument and then basically say, "But Gianna, in your case, it's still considered you being a self-injurt little fucker."
Which is funny because I am alot of the subtle things on that list.
You know nail-biting and such.
WHICH I HAVEN'T DONE IN A WEEK NOW!!!!!
I'm going for it this time, yeehaw.
Anyway, yes, presenting the answer to my bruise pressing curiousity endeavor:
Symptoms of self-injurious behavior
Adolescents who engage in self-injurious behavior are performing deliberate and repetitive acts of physical harm to their own bodies.3 The behavior is usually done secretly and privately. It may be planned and ritualistically performed, or it may occur impulsively and without forethought.
The most common manifestation of self-injury is cutting and slashing.4 Although most self-harmers have a preferred method, many teenagers who habitually hurt themselves do so in a variety of ways: burning the skin, limb-hitting and bruising, head-banging, picking at wounds, peeling the skin, deep biting, severe skin scratching, nail and cuticle biting, pulling out hair, bone breaking, swallowing sharp objects and inserting sharp objects or toxic liquids into the body. The most targeted body parts are the upper limbs. Adolescents may use razorblades, scissors and knives to cut the skin, and cigarettes, lighters and matches to burn themselves. They can also take seemingly benign objects such as paperclips, pen caps, jewelry, fingernails and nail clippers, and turn them into self-harming tools.
Contrary to popular belief, tattoos and body piercings are not considered forms of self-injurious behavior. This is because they are performed by someone else in a social context and are primarily designed to beautify the body.5 However, teenagers who allow piercings to become infected and then pick at the wounds or secretly pierce or tattoo their own bodies to relieve anxiety or "feel better" are engaging in self-injury.
(http://www.prponline.net/School/SAJ/Articles/understanding_self_injurious_behavior.htm)
Woah.
okay. my search is open.
because I just found this amongst my search.
http://www.unf.edu/mudlark/mudlark02/fd06.html
My research has really tuckered me out, as has the slow rising of the sun.
you know... posteth and run. that sort of thing.
oh shit.
the chocolate in my pocket melted.
It didn't melt in my pocket thank goodness, but, I wanted to eat it!
--
Whenever I am around Christie and she says, 'fish,' then i will say back, "fishhhhhhh" and then she'll remember how I told her how Luke says 'theatre' and she will say, "theataaaaahhhh" and I will smile and say it too.
--
Shoes in New Jersey; Shoe Jersey.
--
"They're illusions, Michael, a trick is something that a whore does for money..."
(Gob notices small children standing within hearing range and tries to cover up)
"...orrrrr cocaine."
-Gob; Arrested Development.
over and out