now barely a memory and [An Erasure]

[turkeyish]

Title: now barely a memory and
Original text(s) erased: Ecned If Nocfles & The Last Wyvern
Erased by: turkeyish
Original text by: Lasayla
Fandom (of original text): Harry Potter

Comments

[xalexandriam]

This was super awesome. Seriously. I really enjoyed reading it. Great job, bb. :D

[hungrytiger11]

I just.... there are no words. This is simply amazing, breathetaking.

Um, giving words a shot though.... the narrator could be anybody, though fandom-wise, I feel so much of Ginny and riddlified!Ginny, oozing through, a dangerous metaphor for adolensence in general. The three breaks were great, and the cut-off beginning and ending add even more depth, giving the poem an almost circular feeling, as if it doesn't quite begin or end.

My very favorite part though was:

tore
faint heart
from
fair throat

without looking back

It hits all my buttons, giving this a fairytalish feeling (which, book 2 saving Ginny kinda had anyway) but makes me feel as if the narrator is saving herself...from herself.

[hungrytiger11]

Just a second note to add, having gone back and read the original stories, your poem is even more intriguing. Both the poem and stories are good, but so different. The stories are surprisingly humorous and somewhat light, though they both had messages. To have pulled the poem's dark tone and lyrical nature from the stories' very different tones is quite the feat!

[zempasuchil]

The contrast between this and the original fics is incredible. I wouldn't have guessed; you did a really good job of creating a totally new atmosphere, especially with the Eloise Midgen one.

the first part didn't grab me as much as the rest did, but the fire imagery in there is good. everybody feels that way when they’re young and a vague sense of pride / despite being mostly charcoal are GREAT lines, and combined they create this weird effect. It's like, she's been burned awfully, yeah. She's dealing with it. Either it's a part of her or she's letting it slide off, but after the original sensation it's sort of like Yeah Yeah I can do this.

a hesitant little trill of the fingers is awesome description. This is really an amazing portrait, and I love how the story *moves* with the increased cold hands, the fire that stays but the remains and fuel that keep piling up.

her face
black all down one side
writing around the edgeWOW. COOL. And creepy, awesomely creepy. I agree with hungrytiger11, this part totally makes me think of