back by popular demand

May 15, 2008 08:21

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Comments 62

quba May 15 2008, 15:31:33 UTC
You're saying, you want the one friend to show up but not the spouse? I would say, "Hey, you should come to poker night. But no girls allowed."

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turnip May 15 2008, 15:34:58 UTC
That's a gender specific function, and totally understandable.

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king_duncan May 15 2008, 15:33:38 UTC
If you don't want the spouse to come, tell them and explain why.

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drunkasalways May 15 2008, 15:34:56 UTC
If it's a "Guys/Girls night", or a function that is a reunion or tight/really small group of friends then it's to be understood that that is the only person invited.

If I invite a friend who is married to a function that is not sexually bias or qualify to the stipulations under question one then he/she doesn't need to ask if their spouse is automatically included.

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turnip May 15 2008, 15:52:15 UTC
a reunion or tight/really small group of friends.

a reunion?

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drunkasalways May 15 2008, 16:01:54 UTC
IE: small group of friends from the past like high school/college of friends from the hood that is exclusive to that group. It's a small gathering that is the only non-gender specific function I could think of. Anything that includes more people like family/highschool reunions are not included in that statement.

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turnip May 15 2008, 15:53:53 UTC
You're one step ahead of the game with that whole "other options later!" thing. That's good psychology.

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potatohead May 15 2008, 15:37:29 UTC
I think it depends on if it's a female asking a female friend or if there is some opposite sex business going on here. I think that's where it gets complicated.

Let's say I was married (HA) and wanted to hang out with JUST my friend (a female), I would call it a girls' night. It gets kinda hairy when men are involved because then the whole "if other guys are there, why can't I go" thing comes up. Which I get. Sorta. Because I would a little wtf if my dude was going to a Thing with a bunch of ladies and I was specifically not invited.

Regarding the first question, it totally depends on the function. A party? Both are invited. Dinner? Depends on the occasion. Movie? Both are invited. I think it also depends on how you know the friend, if your spouse ALSO knows the person well... blah blah blah.

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potatohead May 15 2008, 17:21:03 UTC
It's not like I wouldn't "let" my hypothetical husband to go out with a bunch of gals, but my level of comfortable-ness would depend on the situation. If it was a bunch of girls he had known for his whole life? I totally get and respect that. Mostly because you can't expect someone to drop their friends just because they met you. I have a lot of guy friends and I would be mad if hypothetical husband got mad that I remained friends with them. BUT, I think in most situations friends of opposite sexes tend to make an effort to show the new spouse/bf/gf/whatever that they ARE cool and totally buddies. Like, my guy friends have always opened up to my boyfriends to try and make it clear that they don't have secret motives, you know? And I think that's the same with girls. Girls tend to want to prove that they aren't on the prowl for your man. So I think that if my hypothetical husband was like "you can't come tonight, it's me and the girls" and I KNEW that other people were bringing their significant others I'd be "wtf". I didn't say ( ... )

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