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[turnthebadinme]

Losing Beat was devastating, losing Chuck another painful reminder of the frequency with which it seemed that Serena could count on her friends vanishing. She'd seen enough people leave in her life, been walked out on without reason or explanation, and no amount of knowing this was the nature of the island made it any easier. Maybe people didn't

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[the_support]

With Devon taking care of Madeline for a while, Ellie took the time to get out and do some things. She decided to take a walk up the path to just enjoy the day, but was quickly greeted by the sight of Serena running down it. All it took was one look at her face to see something was wrong.

"Serena? Serena, wait," she said, trying to get her to slow down. She couldn't help if she didn't even know what was going on.

[turnthebadinme]

Serena didn't want to stop, but it was Ellie and she could use the help. Even if her gut instinct was that she'd lost Eric for good, she was unwilling to listen, turning to Ellie, catching her breath.

"Have you seen Eric?" she asked, pressing a hand to her chest. She could run with the best of them, but she felt like she hadn't stopped moving in days. "I - I can't find him, I can't find him anywhere."

[the_support]

The way she was and the question itself was enough to twist her stomach a little, too. She'd been through so much these last few months, it wouldn't be fair if this was happening again.

"No, I'm sorry, I haven't," she replied, purposely sounding calm so it didn't add to her frantic mood. "When was the last time you saw him?"

[turnthebadinme]

Serena looked up, eyes wide, trying to think clearly and breathe normally all at once. "Yesterday," she said. "I think yester- I don't know, everything, everything blurs together here. I try to see him every day, I try..." She had been an awful sister at home; she'd been trying to do better.

[wizard_alive]

There was a certain level of coping that tended to come from living in this place. Some people ran, some people isolated themselves, some people (Nita included, much to her embarassment) drank. And cried. And a lot of other stuff, which apparently included waking up at one in the afternoon with a pounding head and a dry mouth. Again.

"Eugh," she said as she squinted in the mirror in her room. She looked like hell - god, of course she looked like hell, she hadn't showered in, what, two days? Three? It was the slap of flipflops on concrete - not walking but running that got her attention, and she leaned out into the hall, her eyes widening as she saw Serena's back. "Serena?"

She hadn't seen her since... well, it'd been a week, at least. "Hey, I-" I hopefully don't stink like booze. "What's wrong?" Right now, the pounding headache and feeling that if she turned too fast she'd puke were shoved back into the deal with it later bin, and she ran a hand through her hair, trying to look a little less... hobo.

[turnthebadinme]

At the sound of Nita's voice, Serena turned, instinctively relieved for anyone familiar. Each face she knew was one more person who wasn't gone. The state she found Nita in, though, left something to be desired, and that something generally involved soap, water and a hairbrush.

"I - nothing," she said, "it's probably nothing. Just... have you seen Eric? I can't find him."

[wizard_alive]

From the way that Nita really, really looked like she was going to throw up, it was pretty apparent that she hadn't. Still, though, after about five seconds of will I or won't I test our friendship is new and disgusting ways, she stood up straighter, pulling a hairband off her doorknob as she scuffed on a pair of (what, later, will turn out to be Dairine's and a size too large) skimmers. "I'll help you look," she said as all she can think is please, let him be here. Let him be hiding. It wasn't for herself that she asked - she'd seen what loosing everyone else had done to Serena, and more than that. Beat and Chuck and Meg and-

She wouldn't even let herself think it, not right now, not that there was a stupid hole in a place that Nita didn't even know she had.

It was that this is what she did, and she'd turn this place upside down if it meant that I can't find him didn't turn into- what was it Calvin said? "Off to that great unknown that we pretend is going back home but really have no idea and just use the lie to comfort ourselves."

[turnthebadinme]

"Oh, god, thank you," Serena said, "thank you, thank you." She appreciated the offer more than she could say, so frantic with the the fear of losing someone so vital to her all over again that she was sure she wasn't seeing properly.

Still and all, her devotion to her friends kicked in pretty quickly and she reached out to rest a hand on Nita's arm. She could recognize the tell-tale signs all to well now, having lived through them a few times before herself. "Are you sure, though? You look - are you okay? Do you need to rest? Because I can look myself, I just... I don't know, I don't anymore where he could be..."

[filmstarbeauty]

Blair would be the first to admit that on a scale from one to weeping idiot she was closer to one than the weeping idiot in terms of emotional displays. Call it the Upper East Sider in her, but emotions were messy. They left holes and gaps that couldn't be filled by anything helpful.

It was better to ignore them. But one look at S and her scared deer in the headlights expression stopped her in her tracks.

"S, what's wrong?" she asked grabbing hold of her best friend's arm.

[turnthebadinme]

Serena stopped, taking a moment to catch her breath as she reached to grip Blair's arm in turn. "Eric," she said, "I can't find Eric, help me look." She refused to believe he was just the next in what seemed like an interminable string of losses until she had absolute proof, and it seemed doubtful there would ever be proof enough to satisfy her. "The more of us looking the better."

[filmstarbeauty]

"Okay." Blair nodded slightly and released Serena's arm. She was not one to give into faith that things were going to work out. Life had taught her better than that. But bursting Serena's precious bubble based on a gut feeling wasn't something she was in the mood to do.

"Where do you want me to look?"

[turnthebadinme]

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "I've checked in the usual places, but that doesn't mean he's not somewhere else. With a friend, maybe." She tapped her foot impatiently, shifting onto the other and casting a glance over her shoulder, as if he might appear or she might be given some new sense of direction, given some new guidance. He had friends, but so many had disappeared, she couldn't remember who was left.

[learnwhatsreal]

Catching sight of Serena a little ways off on the path wasn't entirely uncommon, but seeing her so frantic like this was enough to make Jenny stop in her tracks, holding up her hands to stop her when she got close enough. Already she was struck by the thought that something had to be wrong, but not knowing what it was and unwilling to jump to conclusions, she had to find out what was going on. It couldn't have been anything small, to have Serena so worked up.

"Woah, hey," she said, exhaling heavily as she spoke, brows drawn together in concern. "Serena, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

[turnthebadinme]

Serena slowed, still moving, not wanting to stop altogether as she pushed a hand up into her hair and shook her head. "I can't," she began and had to stop to catch her breath, waving her hand. "I can't find Eric, I can't - I don't know where he's gone, I can't find him. Have you seen him?" She didn't want to overreact when probably nothing was wrong, but there had been so many disappearing acts lately, she didn't know what to do or think.

[learnwhatsreal]

Jenny had to fight hard against a rising panic to keep her expression anything close to even, but for the moment, at least, she managed, eyes wide as she shook her head. That Serena seemed so worried and hadn't seen him could have meant anything, and absolutely didn't have to mean the worst. There were plenty of places he could be.

"Not today, no," she answered, the words careful, shaking her head as she fell into step beside Serena. She didn't need to think twice about going with her, determined to do anything she could. "But we'll probably... I don't know, run into him on the path or something, you know?"

[turnthebadinme]

Serena wanted badly to believe that, despite the niggling sense that it wasn't true, wringing her hands as she walked. "I can't find his things," she said, "or some of it wasn't there, but I'm not really sure what, I don't know. It looked different. It felt different." There had to be dozens of places left for him to be, surely, but at that moment, she couldn't think of a single one of them.

[throw_it_off]

It was kind of luck that he hadn't even hit the steps of the Compound when Serena came out the front door, all but barreling through. Literally running into people always hurt, and this way he could catch her, an arm snaking around her waist, and pull her to the side instead of making a painful mess of themselves. Something was clearly wrong, and he needed to help.

"Serena, hey, whoa," he said, trying to calm her. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

[turnthebadinme]

"I'm fine," Serena said, nodding, bracing her hands on his arms. It was a relief just to see him. Even if he didn't know anything about it, even if he couldn't tell her where Eric was, at least he was still here and she needed to be sure of that right now. "Just... I can't find Eric. He's not in there, he wasn't at breakfast. Nate, have you seen him?"

[throw_it_off]

His eyes widened at the question, his mind leaping to the immediate conclusion. Eric wasn't the type to go wandering off, not for long without letting people know. They were all city kids; they adapted well enough but none of them except Nate had an interest in the jungle.

Shaking his head, he answered, "No, I haven't. Was he staying with anyone, maybe crashed at someone's hut?" Once there would have been an easy answer, but ever since Roxas had disappeared from the island, Nate hadn't noticed Eric spending a lot of time with anyone in particular.

[turnthebadinme]

Serena shook her head, shrugging. "I mean, there's Cassie," she said, "but she lives way out in the middle of nowhere. I can't imagine him heading all the way out there for a sleepover." Maybe if he'd been seeing someone, it would have been a different story, but she felt sure she would have known if that had been the case. She'd been so much better about spending time with him here.