(Untitled)

[turquoiseflea]

I'm home. I don't know how to feel about anything. I don't know what to do. I'm happy. I look outside and see mountain ranges and rolling hills and cypress trees dangling their raggedy beauty and fog, and it's all waiting for me to go running and walking and dreaming on. This will always be my home. I just wish it were possible to have both worlds

Comments

[healthnut22]

I think you use your mind if you are going mentally ill not using it (as I was), and otherwise, you do what else you are called to do. I am happy right now, which tells me I've done the right thing. If you are not happy naturally, sort of deeply happy with a choice you've made that includes the hustle and bustle of mainstream American life, then I say it's not correct: your job would then be to bring change and inspiration to a world full of too much seriousness and too much hustle and bustle. But you just figure out your place within or without that, and how much ratio of each you need, and you'll find what you need to be doing.

And hey, sometimes home is perfect too. Follow your heart.

RH

[turquoiseflea]

Following your heart is hard. What if you're following sentimentality, or nostalgia, or heartache, or ignorance, etc? It's like that old saying -- follow your gut. But I can't tell if my gut is just an idealistic jumping-to-conclusions or immediate pessimism, or what! It's funky. You know? I just want a little screen that tells me, "Yes, you want to do this!", or "Don't do this because you'll hate it". Ah if only!

[healthnut22]

Your parents put good values in you for smalltown rural appreciation and a life that isn't 100% the norm. Don't throw that away, but instead see how you can integrate it with what you want to do in the world. If what you want to do is share some of that joy in the simpler life with a slightly wider world, that sounds great, but I've found that before you can do your mission, you have to be really familiar with what your main mission point is; in other words, you'd have to maybe spend more time around Pt. Arena to really hone your ideas as an adult, and not just with the rosy glasses of your youth spent there. Maybe Pt. Arena is a good place for you to CONSCIOUSLY stay or hang around, to observe it and know what it is about it that you never want to lose or sacrifice to some other kind of value system that other people push on you

[turquoiseflea]

That 2nd second is brilliant, Rachel. Thanks. When I read that it was like -- BONG -- yeah! Totally!

When I think about it, growing up here has above all given me a love of nature and a strong will to defend it. For the past few months I've been wishing so badly for a position in some kind of environmental agency, whether it's talking to people about recycling in Africa or working with kids or doing paperwork. I can't think of anything else that I'm quite as passionate about and have the most undying energy for -- helping the environment.

Do you think Huntington is a good/right place for you? Do you see yourself staying there for awhile?

[healthnut22]

I'll stay here until I finish college, which could be as little as two more years with a little degree and cramming, or 3 more years. And I love Indiana and have always wanted to live in Fort Wayne (in part tp study dance there at the university). I love the Midwest. But I also love the South.

And given all those things, no, I have never really thought I would stay in Huntington per se, though it is my home in the sense that that's where I "grew up" for the most part, and I have a lot of connections and people who watched me grow up around here. I would come back a lot. But certainly never intend to spend my entire career here. I don't think I could do that.

So yeah.... ~~

[rynmorianqueen]

If you have found your home, grab on and don't let go. I have a deep fondness for Huntington, but I could leave and never look back if it came to it. That tells me I haven't found home yet. I don't know whether it will be in New York City or Den Taag or Cairo or Lebanon or Washington, DC, but I do know that when I find it, I will hold on like there's no tomorrow. Sure, I'll go away and work other places and maybe live for a long time in other locations, but home -- if I ever find a home -- home will be where I put down roots. If you have a place where you want to put down roots, don't let anyone talk you out of it. I also think you can offer the world all your wonderful talents while you stay rooted in Point Arena. When they tell you you have too much to offer to stay there, they're saying they're not part of the world. That's absurd. You can offer the world your gifts in any corner of the world. I also agree with Rachel that if you're not happy -- if some part of you doesn't feel deeply settled about what you're doing,

[turquoiseflea]

I don't know if it's home, though, because it was my first home, and we know how firsts are always the most lasting. I think I could find another place that would be just as much home to me as Point Arena, but it's hard to accept the idea of that ever happening. I grew up here, played here, made friends, had boyfriends, watched sunsets and sunrises. My entire life so far is in the trees, the smells, the ocean, my room, our road

[branwen]

It's okay to stay somewhere! It's okay to like your small hometown better. It's okay not to go to college, to stay at your beloved theatre. There were times when people grew up and worked in the same small town they were born in. There were times that was the norm, and it was respected. It needs to be respected again.

It all sounds lovely... I'm glad you love your hometown.

[turquoiseflea]

Wow, Erin, thank you. That really means a lot to hear that. I don't get that point of view very often