La Vita è Bella

Mar 08, 2007 12:46

I need to get this out before I eat breakfast ( Read more... )

death, grandpa m, spirituality, relatives

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Comments 8

branwen March 9 2007, 00:53:29 UTC
It's good that you feel this way. It's probably how people should feel when someone is going to die, especially when the person dying is okay with it themselves. I think I'd be very upset if a close grandparent was going to die, but I'm not close to my grandfather (he lives in Germany), and my father's parents died before I could know them. That just leaves my grandmother, and she's the kind of person I expect to hold on for as long as possible. Her father was in his nineties when he died.

I hope you can stop judging yourself for not feeling the same way the rest of your family feels. Everyone reacts to things differently. I'm glad you don't feel bad about a loved one dying when they're ready. You should only feel bad if it's the way you feel. I'm sure he doesn't want you to feel bad about it.

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turquoiseflea March 9 2007, 21:10:51 UTC
Such a good point: that he doesn't want me feeling bad about it. If I were dying I would probably be saying, "No, no, it's okay, please don't be totally shattered by this, I want you to be able to go on with life".

*hugs!*

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_wendylady March 9 2007, 01:13:31 UTC
I'm so sorry. My grandma died a couple years ago, and I felt strangely at peace with it too, and kind of conflicted about that. But death is natural and necessary and a sacred part of life in its own right, so I think really that's probably just a natural and healthy response to it.

Anyway, best of wishes to you and your family. I hope his last days are as good as they can be. I love you.

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turquoiseflea March 9 2007, 21:12:41 UTC
Really? I'm so glad I'm not alone. I must have seen too many movies where everyone is sobbing behind veils and tissues in the rain. I never expected I'd feel like this; I expected it to be like a dropping off a cliff, but instead it's like a hop down a stair.

Everything you said is beautiful and comforting. Thank you. I love you.

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being_isis March 9 2007, 01:59:15 UTC
irish funerals are kind of like that whole "celebrating what happened" kind of thing. there's probably an absurd amount of drinking involved, but from what I've seen, it's just a celebration of the life that ended rather than a mourning for the end of someone.

I don't know. I don't think how you feel is at all weird or wrong, and I don't think you should feel guilty. feeling peaceful about death is a blessing most people don't ever get.

*mashed potato hugs with lots of luvin*

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turquoiseflea March 9 2007, 21:14:35 UTC
Ohhh I could go for some alcohol right now. Or maybe that would just make me feel weirder and more outside of my head?

feeling peaceful about death is a blessing most people don't ever get.

Wow. So true. Thanks for that, Cookie. You're pretty awesome, woman.

*mashed potato hugs with zebra stripes and all that's nice and major LOVE*

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sirdentofdoom March 9 2007, 18:31:59 UTC
You should not feel guilty at all. Mourning is like going to wakes. For some people, they really need to see that body. They need to have physical evidence that someone has died. For others, they know it and don't need to go. Some people need to cry and scream and beat the walls to convince themselves that its real, others just accept it and are like you - at peace with it.

*double scoop of triple chocolate ice cream and hugs*

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turquoiseflea March 9 2007, 21:18:08 UTC
What's kind of weird about this whole thing is that, like you said, I haven't had any physical evidence. It's all been over the phone, in shaken voices and sighing and a piece of plastic pressed to my ear. I almost want to say that I shouldn't declare my feelings as how I'm feeling because if I were actually there maybe I'd be a basket case??

In any case, thank you SO MUCH a hundred times for your virtual hugs and comments. *cherry blossom kisses*

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