[FIC] : Haru's Story
Chapter nine
[Two months after]
Jin handed the comb and let it run through his hair. It grows long and thick as he noticed. Black strands of his hair falling to his broad shoulder and his bangs were almost touching his eyelids. It was way too far from his skinned head after the operation last mid June. He was in cold for two weeks and woke up in last week of that month. The deeply stitched wounds on his head got heal fast and covered by his dark hair. His complexion went back to its usual healthy color. The pierces made by the tubes inserted to his other parts went into an invisible scar. A smile flickers as he gazed to his reflection in the mirror. He looked exactly Like the Jin before. But not happy as the usual he.
“Jin,” a deep voice came.
Jin pulled his shirt hanging then put it on “You have an appointment right?” the man reminded Jin.
He looked to him through the mirror “Katsui-san could wait me there dad,”
Mr. Akanishi checked his watch “I didn’t taught you to make others wait too long for you kid,”
He nodded lazily “hai, Wakatta~”
Jin proceeds to the main door of the house then glided it to open. The wind of mid august was just humid enough to calm his tensed being. The rustling of trees, chirping of birds comes with the wind that produces a natural melody. A sigh was freed as he gazed down to the pair of slipper. It’s green. It’s turtle. It’s Kazuya. He was anxious about the guilt as he thinks about him but there’s a small yet special part of him experiencing peace as he mind about Kazuya.
*******
Today seems to be the happiest day for Karin. They’ll move out to this cramped place at last. They will transfer to Shikoku this day. Her mother said that place was more peaceful than Tokyo. That was where her mother raised. More beaches and fresher air, way too humane than in the concrete jungle of Tokyo.
So Karin anticipated for this day to come. She’d packed her things neatly days ago to ensure not to forget everything.
But there’s a room in her heart, not willing to go because she’s been waiting for his promise. Just even for the very last time...
“I’ll buy you your own one… promise.”
He promised... and promises can’t be broken. Karin could never forget the face where her tiny hands land on. That guy’s cheeks were to smooth and she could feel his smile that day. He’s with Kamenashi-kun, the patient in Mom’s work.
Kilometres away, from Yoshida residence, a car travelled as fast as it could. Jin truly prayed that he could give his present to Yoshida’s child, Karin. He brought it along with Kazuya months ago in Osaka. That little girl, he hopes that she didn’t forget his promise.
****
Tatsuya could only smile seeing everything fell in place. It’s been more than a month since they’d get Kazuya away from everybody, especially to Jin and Koyuki. Tatsuya and Junno find him a home far away from being a hospital facility. Far away from the city. Far away from harm.
It was his dream bringing his younger cousin back to his normal life, in a home setting. Fresh air and chirping birds outside a small bungalow house--- it was just Kazuya who had no plan to move in that creepy place.
Seeing Kazuya crying and struggling from his and Junno’s hands was painful. It’s been a while since he saw him like that--- it’s a total nightmare for him, the first time was when his father’s death still fresh, he weeps all his heart out, dying and helpless because of that lost. Since that day, Tatsuya oath a promise to never let Kazuya shed even a tear of sadness in his eyes.
But he made Kazuya cry himself.
He told all the secrets kept these years in his heart. He forced Kazuya to imbibe everything, to know anything--- hoping the cage he created for himself will break soon. And that made Kazuya cry and struggle, not because he hates his mother, but because he loves her enough not to believe what Tatsuya had in his tongue. For him, it’s hard to consider it. He can’t remember what he’d intended to forget, he forget all about her fault and choose to live beyond reality until his brain adapt into it. He can’t escape anymore--- from the cage he built himself to be harmless.
“Hate me if you wanted to, I know it will save you.” He brushed the fringes blocking in Kazuya face. He’s been sleeping soundly in his own room. He’s like a cat, scraping his skin against the sheets. Seems Kazuya really loves the fluffiness of his bed, compare to his stiffened one in the hospital.
“J-Jin... Jin...” Tatsuya was taken aback as he heard the younger talking in his sleep. His tears filled the corner of his eyes as he‘s mumbling. He was stunned as he heard Jin's name in Kazuya. It can't be. It was two months ago since he last seen Jin. Many days and nights had passed and many times memories with Jin were counted to be demolished. It must be.
“Sorry, Kazu..” he pecked on Kazuya’s forehead. Stayed for a moment, as if whispering his millions of apologies away from his system. If he could remember, Kazuya would feel the pain. Tatsuya would be loathed if happen.
***
“Kindly maintain the medicines that I’d recommended to you Akanishi-kun,”
“Hai, Arigato gozaimasu Dr. Katsui,” Jin straightened himself up and bowed with all respect to the physician as he marched towards the door.
Jutendo hadn’t changed at all. Still the pavements seemed marked by sorrow. Sorrows from the people suffered pain that keep standing by their feet and leave an invisible foot print as they walked by. Jin concluded when he gazed to the wide corridor. It was even duller this time since it was empty. Only the sound of the whistling wind occupies the area together with Kazuya’s reminiscences gathered to his mind. They used to walk at the corridor every morning. Seeing his warm smile underneath the rays of sun as they paces.
Jin keeps on strolling on the corridor until he reached the main door of the Hospital. He could remember when they flee to find his lost notebook, Haru. They have to put Jackets in the middle of fiery afternoon just to hide their identities since patients mostly Kazuya was not allowed to go outside the hospital area. He can’t evade smiling as the image of the younger on that day went back. He found Kazuya too cute for oversized jackets and shades.
Few meters away he spotted the bus stop. He recalled the day when he planned to go Osaka and he pleaded to come. Kazuya’s wide grin flickers as Jin let to go with him. Bliss overwhelmed his tiredness on that day. They took paces along the street of Osaka having the same designed slippers, their fingers interlaced, candidly displaying his purity to Jin. He couldn’t deny that every point of his life in the hospital reminds him of Kazuya.
“Akanishi,"
Jin turned to face the person who called his name “Yo,”
The person gestured a hand as she closes their distance “You need a barber this time,” she scowled then hardly pulled Jin’s fringes.
“Itai! Takanashi that hurts!”
“I told you right? Don’t call me with my last name,” Rin pouted, pulling Jin’s hair lower.
“Okay! Okay! Get off your hand to my hair now,” Jin yelped, lifting her fingers to his hair bit by bit.
Rin shown a grinned then she grasped Jin’s arm “Mind to come with me? I’m free! I have no duty this time”
Jin examined the nurse. Rin hadn’t changed too. She could still yanked people bigger to her size. Consider her petite body. What he was thinking anyway? Short period of time couldn’t change a person like her. Giggly weird woman.
The nurse didn’t wait for his reply. She towed Jin all of a sudden going back inside the hospital. Jin can’t even protest as Rin begun blabbering weird stories about a cartoon she watched this morning. What the hell was with this woman? He couldn’t understand her anymore.
“Itai… Takanashi-san~” Jin rolled his eyes, struggling from the woman’s hold. Yet she’s unbelievably stronger than her. She’s as strong as a man!
“Okay.” She fetched the room’s key and opened the door “Feel free, Akanishi-kun.” Jin entered the room. It’s like a normal empty hospital room, nothing special, aside from some things still scattered, seems the patient here recently discharged.
“Yosh~” Rin ponytailed her blond hair then, Handed Jin a duster “Let’s clean~”
“Clean?!” he screamed in disbelief “Let the maintenance clean it, Takanashi.” He tsked.
“No,” she disagree “I want to clean it myself…well with you now.”
Rin nodded “How’s life after anyway? It’s been month and a half since last time I’ve seen you,”
“Well, still on stage of gaining my normal life,” Jin started fixing the crumpled bed “How about you?”
Rin smiled “No longer the same since Taguchi-san resigned and went to somewhere with Kazuya and Tat-chan but don’t worry I’m alright,”
“Why did Taguchi-san left? Does he have reasons?” Jin asked her as if he didn’t know about it. Of course Taguchi-san had it. It was obvious that he quit his job to Jutendo to bring Kazuya to an isolated place far-away from difficulties. Away from the people who ruined him.
“Don’t fool me Jin. I know you’re aware of his reason,” Rin’s face abruptly went straight. “I was there when Tatsuya said it all,”
Jin cast his gaze downcast “I won’t question Taguchi-san’s actions. He just did what was right. Well, just like the ending of most stories, antagonists and protagonists should part their ways,”
“Yeah you’re a antagonist in the story but you’re the one who saved him… the only one out of many knights who tried to,” she held his hand that made Jin to meet her determined eyes “The only one out of many Jin…You already hold the chances”
“B-but I don’t---“
“It’s hard….” Rin’s shaken voice interrupted him. “ I felt the same feeling as yours once. I thought that I don’t deserve him so I let him go and the time comes that I wanted Junno so badly to be back, until now the regret of letting him go still here… “
“Junno?” Jin asked, that made her back from reality…her eyes got even rounded “What did I say?”
“As in… Junnosuke Taguchi? Did you…”
Rin chuckled silently, as if she was ashamed to Jin to know the truth. “He’s my ex-husband.”
Jin didn’t expect a fact he just discovered. Jin was left puzzled as Rin straighten herself as she wiped off her tears “You do deserve Kazuya… and besides, Past had nothing to do in the present right?” the nurse giggled, forgetting her tears as she turned around then waved her hand to him.
:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:
Jin-kun,
Sorry that I can’t wait you here in our house anymore... Mama and I will move out. We are going to Shikoku.
-Karin
“Shikoku?” Jin sighed as he tightly held the tiny paper stick on the lower part of the door. It wasn’t written by a kid, but of course her mother
Jin sadly put the paper in inside his pocket. He walked back to his car and just rest there. What should he do? He just can’t forget his promise... he failed his family, Koyuki.... and Kazuya. He can’t fail this time around. He knew that Karin waited for him, but even once, Jin hasn’t given any chance to atleast inform her about his state.
He didn’t do anything, but Karin had kept his promise.
“Jin.”
He turned his face behind, where he saw a person standing there without his slight notice “Koyuki?”
Like it’s been forever since he saw the woman, nothing unusual in her appearance, still looked young and stunning despite of her age. “How---“
“I followed you from Jutendo.” Koyuki interrupted him. “Is that what you replace me? A bitch?”
Jin widened his eyes, knowing the only one who he accompanied with, Nurse Rin. Why did she said those words “How dare you Koyuki, what are you talking about?”
She clenched her fist “That filthy bitch...” Jin could hear Koyuki’s shaken voice. “She always steal everything to me..”
Jin was surprised, dumbfounded of what Koyuki mumbling to him, he cut the distance between them, wiping the tears in her cheeks.
Koyuki pulled the man closer, as if there’ll be no tomorrow, inhaling his familiar scent that she longer for “I still love you Jin...I follow you to have you back... please come back to me now.” She pleads, drenching Jin’s shirt with her tears “I’ll do anything...”
“Stop calling her bitch.” Jin came in a deadpan voice, not even giving back Koyuki’s embrace. “I’m not after her.”
“BUT SHE’S AFTER YOU!” She yelled, grasping more of his body. She just realized how Jin lost weight because of his disease, how she’s craving for that body to be hers again. She’s willing to let go of anything...
To bring him back.
“Listen,” Jin hold Koyuki’s arms to kindly detach to his torso “There’s nothing beyond friendship between us.” Jin cleared.
“S-So you still love me isn’t? You still have the key of my heart.” She smiled, touching the pedant on his neck. Call her crazy. Koyuki cared no more--- if she looked entirely messed up physically... emotionally, as long as she have Jin back. It doesn’t matter.
Am I? Jin wondered. It’s been two years since she lost Koyuki, hoping her to be back. He’s willing to wait back then. He oath to do anything to bring her back... but he unexpectedly had his disease, that suddenly changed his life.. especially as Kazuya came to his life, it changed eventually without his notice. Kazuya somewhat healed Jin’s broken heart cause by Koyuki.
He saved Jin from pit of sorrow.
“W-What are you doing?” Koyuki said, as Jin took off the necklace and have her hand to put the object inside her palm.
“Sorry, but my saviour is waiting for me.” Jin thought, drew a little smile on his lips.
“Saviour? What did you mean?”
“He saved me from being drowned of you, Koyuki and I’ll do everything to have him with me.” Jin said, seems he does need not to mention any name, it was so evident that Koyuki knew the person he’s talking about.
Koyuki could only laugh on his words “Ridiculous.” She thought, clasping the necklace “Talking like it wasn’t your fault why he turned like that… If I were you stop dreaming! You’ll never have him! You’re just in pang of guilt.. that’s why you just wished to pay your debt to lessen it.”
“Either of us will not have him, Jin.” Koyuki had lost him too, the only one left in him. The wound would never be mend in her heart, it was so painful to take him away, but a part of her saying it would be atleast better… because seeing him could have only weigh more on her guilt.
*******
Junno hauled up as he heard the door bell. He rapidly went to the door and opened it, greeted the man barely soaked on his sweat beneath the sun.
"Tadaima," he entered as he pushed the paper bags to the taller man's chest.
Junno frowned as he put the bags on the kitchen table "You bought too much for this week Tat-chan,"
"Yeah," he grasped the water container inside the fridge "I saw a discount a sign in a grocery when I’m biking around," Tat-chan imbibed the liquid straightly “Stop that frown. I didn’t use your money to shop all of these,”
Junno gave in as he smiled cheerfully as he saw the other one’s glare “Okay,”
“Is Kazu still sleeping?”
The taller man went to the cabinet to search for the cups “Yeah,”
Tat-chan pulled a chair as he watched the other “But he had an appointment with his psychiatrist right?”
“Let him be... I’ll call Amane-san that we’ll be late,” he proceeds to the table and settle the cups.
“Something’s bothering you?” Tatsuya inquired, observing his friend “You’re just making a coffee for me if you have something to tell about,”
Junno poured the hot water on both cups and pushed it towards his friend “I heard him.. Kazu mumbling Jin,” he said tautly, expecting that Tatsuya would be in shock.
“Ah, you finally heard it huh,” The shorter one said as he slowly stirring the liquid. Junno remained in silence. Tatsuya heaved a sigh as he continued to fulfill Junno’s rarity. “Kazu-chan always mumbling that, usually in tears. But as he woke up, he couldn’t recall what he dreamt or he said. I’ve mentioned it to Amane-san few weeks ago then she said that it was a good sign that maybe soon… he has a big chance, to surpass his repression,”
“But why you didn’t even mention this to me?”
Tatsuya huffed “As if you would be glad to know that he remembered Jin in his dreams,” then swallowed his black coffee.
“Ne Jun-chan? Tat-chan~”
Junno peeped to the living room then seek for him. He waved his hand to catch his attention “Oi Kazu,”
Kazuya gladly went to the kitchen to join with them “Oh you’ve already took a shower,” his cousin noticed his soaked hair.
“Hai!” Kazuya place a chair beside Junno as the bowl delivered to him by his cousin. He grinned to them before he chow down his food. Tatsuya didn’t fail his taste buds. It tastes great. A simply Donburi in appearance but superb when it comes to taste. While munching, Kazuya placed his notebook to the table.
Takamatsu, Shikoku, Japan
August 18, 2007
12:15 pm
Tat-chan prepares Donburi while Junno drinks his coffee
“Mou, seems you’ve written too many since we’ve first came here,” said, Tatsuya leaned then scanned the leaves of the younger’s notebook.
“Maybe I’ve found Shikoku a wonderful one,” he flashed a smile.
He caught the two men’s attention as he suddenly stood from his chair “Get ready. We’re going to your psychiatrist today, I’ll wait you in the car,” Junno stated dryly before he stormed out.
******
“Aniki? Where are you going?”
“Reio... shh~” Jin continued to fold his clothes and insert them in his pack back.
“Aniki?” Reio was dumbfounded, where would he go? At this time?
“Shikoku...” Jin mumbled, without even glancing at him “I need to go to shikoku.”
“B-but I....”
Jin finally zipped his bag “I’ll be off for a while. I’ll be back after I bring this to her.” Jin showed Reio a small notebook, it was the notebook he and Kazuya brought for Karin.
“Is that so important that you’ll travel that far for that? Why don’t ship that?”
“No.” Jin told, with his determined eyes “She waited me for long and I hope to give it personally at her... I want her to know that I didn’t forget that promise.”
Reio’s smile suddenly vanished. Promise. Jin would do anything to keep that promise to that someone.
Why not theirs?
“Reio?” Jin cut Reio’s chain of thoughts “Are you okay?”
“Un,” he nodded, pulling back his smile “B-but mom... she’ll turned into monster if she won’t see you next morning.”
“I’ll take care of the rest. “ Jin carried his bag “You just take care of yourself and them ‘kay?” Jin smiled, touching Reio’s cheeks before he silently sneaked out to the house.
*******
赤西仁
“Aka-ni-shi Jin…”
“Who is that Junno?” Kazuya asked the man who’s in focus on the road.
“Uhm…” What he had to say? Kazu had nothing to do with that man. Junno sighed as he was seeking for answers. This is the most hated part of his day. When Kazuya was asking the kanji name inscribed in Haru. It was Akanishi Jin. Your destroyer “He’s a friend… also one of the patients in Jutendo,” he managed to keep all the bad thoughts for Akanishi.
“Have you ever remember that Akanishi Jin?”
“No,” Kazuya’s definite answer came.
Then Kazuya went back to scan Haru. Those slim elegant fingers flipping the notebook’s pages one by one. It was his habit every time he wakes up. Haru is the source of his memories. He’s rebirth everyday of his life since he had selective memory syndrome. Haru helped him to bring back the faded memories to his mind over and over again. Haru could bring the events but no longer the feeling. He knows the truth stinging Kazuya’s heart all over again. The fact that his wonderful and full of emotion notes today will be turning into Dead fading words tomorrow.
The tall man hesitated “Want to ask me something?”
“Ano…” Kazuya flicked the pages “his name was mentioned mostly in the later part of Haru when I was in Jutendo so I want to know more about Jin,”
Junno was given an opportunity to meet Kazuya’s orbs as the traffic light turned red “He became my patient in Jutendo but don’t know more about his personal life Kazu-chan but I know he became Tat-chan’s friend once,”
“Once? Does it mean they’re not friends anymore?”
“I don’t know,”’ Junno came to respond after a quick silent.
Kazuya just smile as his eyes went back to Haru “Tat-chan has difficult attitude towards people around ne,”
“Indeed,” Junno grinned and moved the hand break down as he went back to driving.
It took him time to drive home, the sky turned into violet after sun had successfully sunk in. He smiled, recalling how happy Kazuya had been when they stopped at the beach for a while. He secretly packed the younger’s spare clothes for Tatsuya won’t scold him before they’ll go. Knowing that they just went to beach last week together but Kazuya wished for more so he can’t say no and instead sneaked him without even a notice to his cousin.
He knew that he’ll get drilled in his ears as they reached the house, but that’s not the matter anymore. He could explain to him anyway.
Tatsuya tapped his feet on the velvety auburn carpet as he was shedding his mind to the book he read; not in the clock to his wrist as he wondered. A deep breath was emitted before he finally decided to close the book as he set his feet to the book shelf.
“Tat-chan…”
He turned his head to the entrance after he heard the one who called him “Hey,” he assisted him to fully open the door.
“Arigato,” Junno smiled gently as he’s carrying the sleeping Kazuya directly to his bed.
Tat-chan followed to the bedroom. He silently watched Junno slowly taking off Kazu’s jacket. He was truly a gentle one when doing his tasks “We went to beach after to the psychiatrist,” Junno suddenly filled the silence with his voice.
“Ah,” the older one approached them as he spotted a shallow wound lying on Kazu’s ankle “Oh that wound? He got that while he was surfing,” Junno told him immediately.
“I’ll just get the kit,” Tatsuya dislodged from his position and find the medical kit. Junno heaved a sigh as he followed him to the living room. He looked so calm this time.
“Any good news about him today?” Tatsuya continued to search of the kit as he sensed the taller one behind him.
“Amane-san asked about Jin,”
Tatsuya tasted bitterness on his lips as he heard Junno’s cracked voice “and then?”
“Jin might do something for Kazuya to overcome his own repression,”
“Junnosuke,” he turned to face the taller man “Don’t you think we’re doing wrong?”
“Wrong? Look who’s talking.” Junno noted “He has nothing to do with your cousin. You told me right? So there no point of turning back.”
“I don’t know who am I talking to,” Tatsuya clouded his eyes with tears “Where’s the kind-hearted Junnosuke? Is this how you changed after you gave up to Rin?”
“Don’t you ever mention that name…” Junno thought, feeling the fresh wound throbbing painfully in his heart “Please don’t, Tat-chan.” He barely mumbled, concealing the tears upcoming. He couldn’t himself to be weak in front of this person whom he wanted to be. He wanted to be as strong as Tatsuya. As strong as he could gather himself once again.
“Cry.” Tatsuya’s dead pan voice rang to his ear “You’re a doctor. You should know that person who can’t cry is weak.” He thought, an encouragement and after that empty expression, there comes a small smile from his lips.
Then, Junno’s tear came like a flowing river on his cheeks and his friend was there, caught him in his arms “That’s right. Be strong.” He could be happy for him and Junno had felt so nice, he never cried this hard in front of a person afterall. And it gave him a refresh feeling, as if he’d become light and could fly.
“Let’s move on Junnosuke… we know how Jin had been hurt Kazu.” He said, soothing Junno’s back “But who knows? maybe Jin’s presence could really heal him.”
****
Jin stirred from his sleep as he heard the honk from the ship. Seems it’s boarding off. Back at his consciousness, Jin couldn’t evade his smile, feeling his arms wrapped on his shoulders and hands enjoying the softness of the thick fabric of his hooded jacket. It wasn’t the texture he’s loving, but the scent of Kazuya, sweet and fruity scent resembles to strawberry. He recalled Kazuya used that jacket when they sneaked out of hospital to get Haru back to him and it’s been months but his scent was still here, after he kept it on a safe place for his mom not to laundry it.
His memory of his last meeting with Koyuki stole his sweet smile. He almost forgot that consequence of everything. Koyuki still loves him--- but he wasn’t sure of himself anymore. There’s a fraction of his being, screaming to break free… he wanted Kazuya. He loves Kazuya.
“Either of us will not have him, Jin.”
“I’ll have him.” Jin whispered, glaring through the window, displaying the view of Pier of Shikoku.
The man had his shaded on, sipping ice-cold coffee under the scorching sun. He did some rest for a while in a unknown café in downtown. The sun was definitely unbeatable that he fan himself with a map he purchased in a stall. It was a map of the city--- Karin just told Shikoku, and the city was quite large than the other ones. So he’d nothing to do but to search for even the slightest spot to find the little girl’s new address.
“Good luck.” Jin sighed, though he’s been in a large chase, he knew this effort would be worth it.
*ring ring*
“Hello---“
“Jin! Where have you been?!” Jin pulled the handset away from his ears after receiving his mom’s shrieking voice on the other line.
“Mom, I’m---“
“Reio told me that you’ve gone to Shikoku last night. WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME!”
“I’m sorry… I---“
“Jin, honey, doctor told us right? That travelling alone isn’t good for you yet?” another sigh was emitted by Jin. He can’t even barge and explain himself to his mother.
“I’m sorry.” Told, Jin “I know you’ll not allow me if I tell you. Just give me a week to stay here mom. A week and I’ll be back. Don’t worry! I could take care of myself!”
“W-Wait… Jin bu---“ Jin killed the line. He knew that his mother was mad this time of what he did. But in spite of that, he’s willing to continue. He’ll bring the notebook to Karin.
He lost his count sighing today, Jin merely sipped the irritating hotness of the afternoon away. He shouldn’t waste his time, so he grabbed his things and out of sight, he didn’t notice a woman bumped at him.
“Oh, gomen---“ Jin bowed, but as he saw the woman’s face, he stammered “Y-Yoshida-san?”
*****
Hello it's me again! oohh it's been so long since I posted the last chap of this. anyway my entry Bound to you didn't finished before the deadline of the AKame comm, so technically not counted but I'm continuing the story together with Haru's Story so pls look forwrd :)
But I'm thinking of revising that one, Bound to you... but I'm not yet sure! mou~ I'm loving Jin's willingness to save Kazu there! >o<
Anyway, the next chap of Haru will be posted next week! :D
CIAO.