[FIC] : Haru's Story
Chapter 10
“Okay,” the oldest stood up as he dragged his cousin to settle in the couch “Since everybody are here… let me announce you something,”
Kazuya yawned “Huh?”
“Let’s watch a play!” he pulled the tickets then offered it to the two. “The Lovers’ Moon,”
“Really? I thought it was already ended last July?” Junno spew out. He wasn’t a fan like him, but he just heard some of his patients talking about that in Jutendo.
He nodded “Un, but… they held a tour that begun in August and now heading into their last destination. Shikoku,”
Kazuya gazed at the ticket “Anou.. when will they perform?”
Tatsuya fold his arms in his chest “by last week of September, this month,”
“So I’ll reserve a sit for three of us earlier to avoid some Hassle,” Tatsuya grinned like a kid convincing his mother.
“I’ll go,” Junno smiled as he witnessed his grin. He deeply knows he wanted to watch that musical play desperately as it evident to his face. His cheeks were almost higher to his nose and his eyes transformed in a thin lines as he widely grins. The Knight named Tatsuya lastly off his guard for his desire. He released his best genuine smiles just to convince him and Kazuya, stretching his lips naively as Junno and Kazuya agreed.
“Come on, let’s go downtown,” Tatsuya lugged the two to be on their feet “I’ll treat the lunch for today.”
******
Kazuya smiled at the sun rays beaming to his face as he gazed upon the clear-blue sky above, filling his mind from renaissance that he usually undergo. The brisk humid wind of afternoon warms his cover as he stride into the pedestrian lane with the two men behind him. The cars honk. The smoke dances. The people paces in different directions. Everything he sees were just normal for his eyes, but rare within. He’s in the country miles away from States he used to live. Nippon.
These scenes of the younger stung Junno’s heart a lot. Kazuya looked like a tourist that first time to land in a place can’t be seen in the maps; but he’s in the country two years ago. Two good years. Those sweet smile that should warm his heart, pained him instead. What Kazuya would like if he doesn’t have that syndrome? Will those smiles would be pure than ever? Will he ever smile if he would remember all happened?
Somehow, Kazuya’s syndrome made him to escape the pain of his own lost. He remained radiant, no scars of the accident, not even the trails of tears fell when Hayato died. He was blessed that only the blissful moments left in him. The perfect family he had that time and their happiness they’ve shared that made him to cheer himself though living in confusions. Though he made an escape to the painful part of his life, the pierces made were left with an invisible mark that sooner will come out.
“You okay?” Tatsuya remarked.
“Yeah,” Junno respond as he still staring to Kazuya “I could still remember I brought Kazuya here to celebrate his birthday last year,”
“Oh, yes I remember too when you emailed me your pictures,” he smirked then gazed to his feet “and you said, he liked this place specially the beaches,”
He nodded “That’s why I’ve decided to take Kazuya here than any places few months ago. I don’t want him to stay in Jutendo any further particularly when Koyuki and Jin were there besides, it’s better for him to be away,”
Tatsuya clearly heard the informality of saying the older woman’s name “I’m sorry,”
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” he did his best to made words audible despite of threatening tears in his eyes “Sorry that I made you to hate your own mentor… I shouldn’t let myself to eaten by loathe as I said my words that day…”
Junno’s steps went dead “no need to say sorry,”
“Tat-chan!!! Jun-chan!!!” Kazuya waved his hands cheerfully as he noticed the two stopped from walking.
“Kazuya must not see that---“
Junno made a step to be infront of Tatsuya for him to block Kazuya from witnessing Tatsuya’s feeble state “I understand,” he whispers and assured him as he turned his head to meet the other “Okay! Kazu! Wait a minute! We’ll follow! Just don’t go too far ne?” Junno grinned lively as Kazuya nodded and rather take the bench and wait for them.
“Listen,” his smile suddenly drained then grabbed the shorter one in shoulders “It’s my choice Tat-chan…to hate people that ruined him and to take him away from them… I know I became selfish that I dragged Kazuya away to Jin even to his mother because I don’t want him to remember his painful past anymore… I’m afraid that it would be back if he often sees them together,”
“But it’ll be his choice,” he clenched his fist, still holding back his tears that welling to the edges of his eyes “He must face the truth, we should stop helping him to escape any longer,”
The fabric belongs to Junno’s handkerchief “I realized too… Kazuya must stay as this, I can’t see him again almost dying like two years ago,” he flashed a small smile to his lips, a cold smile but deep inside there’s a twinge in his heart seeing Tatsuya’s tears.
“Come on let’s go,” Junno assisted Kazuya to stood up as he called Tatsuya.
“Tat-chan!!!”
Kazu giggled as he also yelled “Yo! Tat-chan! Let’s go!”
Kazuya leaned his back towards a concrete post in front of a clothing store. He blows his fringes upward as he was waiting for the two man who were taking themselves busy digging into the mountain of clothes right after they’ve reached, seems they didn’t care at all, smiles where visible to their faces as they flipped every clothes, looking into each other and asking if it suits to them.
He crossed his arms to his chest as he remained to hold his umbrella, feeling his legs getting numb in standing for a long time. He felt the humid atmosphere moistens his body. The heat of the fiery sun hurting his sensitive skin despite of the umbrella was protecting him, if it’s not because of Junno and Tatsuya that filled with rare high spirits this time, he might have pulled them to go home.
“Anoo…nii-chan?”
He jerked out a bit as a voice suddenly entered his thoughts; it was a voice coming from a little girl. He couldn’t be wrong. He turned around “Anoo…nii-chan?” she called again as she swayed her free arm in the air as she was thumping the ground with a stick, seems grasping a figure and luckily touched the curve of his waist.
“Uhmm…”
Kazuya got stunned as she discarded the stick and fully encircled her both arms around his waist “Hey what’s wrong?” he asked as he met the girl’s eyes. Those pale black colored orbs seem nothing but emptiness within. Kazuya locked his eyes into her as she tried to feel her surroundings. She was scared.
“M-Miss… would you please H-help me to find my M-Mom?” the girl approximately seven years old pleaded as her tears begun to well her eyes.
He blinked a few times as he heard the word “miss” does she mistaken him as a woman? He just nonchalantly erased thoughts and knelt to wipe her tears as he shown his smile “Okay… I’ll help you please don’t cry. What’s your name anyway?”
“K-Karin…”
He unbend his knees and gave her stick as she hold the girl tightly “There are so many people here so…Just hold me Karin, okay?”
“Um~” She smiled and clasped her finger tightly into Kazuya’s
*****
“Argh, I’m so immature mother… I’m so… ARGHHHHHH!” the customer’s turned their heads to Yoshida who’s wailing non-stop while Jin, at the same table, bowing for the nuisance.
Jin pulled another tissue in a box on the center of the table and handed it to the woman. “Where did she…” He’s hesitant to continue. Because the last time the word “lost” was mentioned, she outburst her cries like a honk and made everyone in the café looked at them.
In the park, not so far away from the café, Kazuya held her hand firmly yet gently as they’ve arrived in the park. He could see how the little girl used her four left senses to see the surroundings; the rustling of trees, the humming of birds, splashes of water from the fountain and also the cool wind around the park, even the hand that was holding her… so delicate and slender it was… does this woman with this kind of hand is beautiful? And her voice was kinda hoarse yet so sweet… is she beautiful?
“tired already?” Karin heard the voice talking again, sweetly as she felt they went into a halt.
“N-No…” the sightless child bit her thin shuddering lips as another batch of tears will be out at any moment.
Kazuya tried to smile as he grabbed the girl into his arms and hold the stick together “I know you are Karin… Let me carry you ne?”
“Um~” she nodded timidly and sunk into the woman’s shoulders. She smells so sweet, sweet as her voice
.
Kazuya strode while soothing her back. His heart would have melt if he continues to see this kid crying in his front. He can’t help to remember someone in his past while seeing her, someone who made his life lighter despite of painful truths. She was young and sweet as this kid and almost same age as Karin-chan when she left.
“Haruka…” a smile slightly curved to his lips as he lifted his eyes upon the light-blue sky and he held what in his arms, closer then opened his blue umbrella.
:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:
“Hey, calm down,”
Tatsuya’s ears suddenly heated up “THE HELL HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?!” he cried as he gripped the other one’s shirt.
“I know it’s hard but… you know we can’t find him without some peace inside,” Junno remained calmed as he was facing anxious to death friend “He’s just been around,”
“C-Can’t contact h-him.. it’s…” the blond-haired man fished a pack of cigarette “Can’t be t-tranquil without even knowing w-where he was,” he handed a lighter and lit up as he was cursing because his hand was trembling like hell.
Junno could see how worried he was and pained him as he saw the tears threatening to fall into his eyes and this will be the first time he will see Tatsuya smoke since he came back in the country. Sighing, he snatched the lighter and lit the cigarette for him.
The pretty one didn’t even utter a ‘thank you’ as he hardly inhaled the smoke.
An abrupt caress was landed into edges of his teary eyes that made him jolted out. He got shivered more and his tears lastly burst out, overwhelmed with that warmth to his face, continuing sucking the cigarette to unleash more smoke until it was threw away and he found himself yanked with those arms, closer to the other one.
“Don’t hesitate to cry that all, we’ll find him after,” By that, Tatsuya’s tears became unstoppable, drenching Junno’s shirt.
He hugged this smaller figure for many times since they’re children. But this time it’s way too different. His body appreciates the heat from his body unusually. Junno pulled them apart, matching Tatsuya’s gaze in him. There’s a spark in those eyes he can’t interpret--- he wondered why.
:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
“It’s kinda cool here…”
He felt relaxed as he came into the public park. The place was almost shaded by huge trees , leaves that falling and fresh air was lucidly greeted his nose and skin. It was occupied by crowd yet it remained peaceful. Every people grouped by family or friends set their own mats and shared foods in there as the children scampered around, the chuckles and murmurings were echoing .
Jin set his feet to amble in the park, rove his sight around as a poster caught his attention. Poster of a band that will have a free outdoor concert in the park today. Pure. The band’s name is Pure. He never heard that band---- he was not familiar in any of them anyway. He saw people leisurely gathering in the venue as the staffs are still on the stage, getting some final touches.
He heave a vast sigh as he decided to contact Yoshida so he picked up his phone inside his pocket and punched in some digits “Yoshida-san did---“
Jin found himself off guarded as someone accidentally bumped at him that made his phone slipped into his hand and hit hard through the ground.
“Gomen-nasai!”
The person dashed in a fast paces after he get his dropped umbrella, that person seems hurrying that made him to ignore his path ahead and carrying someone in arms. His child? Why they’re in hurry? Jin has nothing to do but to pick up some pieces of his phone shattered in the ground before people might have stomp it.
“Such a unlucky day for me ne~” Jin thought while picking as he keep counting his misfortunes in his mind for today as a out-of-blue idea invade his brain.
“Gomen-nasai!”
The person’s voice rings to his head all of a sudden. He had a quality of voice same with a person he knew. Then his smell, he noticed as he was crashed into him. Same as him? As Kazuya? And the slippers as he seen when he crouched his head accidentally was same as his.
“Every unique design has been carved in one pair of slippers so you will be certain that only you had that design,” Jin remembered the man said in the store where he and Kazuya bought slippers in Osaka. “Those slippers are especially made with another pair”
“Kazuya?!”
He couldn’t be wrong on that. They have the same designed-slippers and they’re both wearing it today. His heart suddenly goes in anticipation, as if he can’t breathe any longer. The slippers were still in Kazuya. The unfathomable longing has finally ceased and replaced by desire to see him, to see him smile again. He knows that Kazuya may not remember him anymore but Kazuya is here… in Shikoku where he is, now… he’s closer.
Jin rushed to go after the man who’s almost disappearing to his eyes. He can’t bear the desire also running through his being. Needed to see Kazuya, Badly. He just felt suffocating without the young man near him. He just wanted him, like Oxygen needed by his lungs. He couldn’t waste any chances by this time, he could risk anything just to grasped Kazuya back closer to him.
The crowd in the concert venue was thick enough to block some ways in the area. The concert will start at any moment in time. He could here scream of them, chants, and waving of banners and posters. He lost Kazuya to his sight in amidst of the crowd. But he doesn’t lose his hope. He tactlessly shoved himself through pack of fans gathered in the place, roved his sight with blazing determination.
The screams went deafening as the long-awaited band of five went out the stage. The fans of Pure scream their passion in their idols. But Jin didn’t care at all, persist on pushing through, searching for him. He got battered by the fans almost losing their senses as the band begins to put their music on with the instruments. Who cares about it? Even Jin didn’t. The surrounding got even chaotic and Jin lost Kazuya still, but carry on, I can find him.
Pure ‘s lead vocalist started to sing as the whole venue got even intense. Jin was searching for long and he’s already losing his breath so he decided to stop for a while to catch some air.
Midst of this desert of longing… I cry, for the most important treasure I’ve lost here ,I cry,
Sizzling heat of pride in day and freezing desire in night could kill me
But I’ll still go on and find what I’ve lost here…
The lyrics in that song made his determination grew more. He set his feet again to run and continues his search until he reached the end part of the venue where the people wasn’t flocked as there. His heartbeat was raised again as he got back the man with the child he carries in his sight, heading in a stall of cotton candy.
“Kazuya!”
Jin approached the man and abruptly encircled his arms in his body “Kazuya! I-“
“Excuse me?” the man turned around. Jin got shocked as he met terrified face of the guy and the child he carries.
His legs went as jelly when the person walked away to him, felt weak after, being deceived by his own sight. He just mistook some guy as Kazuya. Does he desperate that much to see him? Jin dumped pile of questions to his head as he walked faintly toward a wooden bench, experiencing the pain of disappointment mixed with longing. As he parked in the bench alone, leaned and extend his arms. He closed his eyes and tilted his head upward, begging the fringes of sun to melt down the pain he had, to block the tear drops that will fall, the wind soothing his neck and he could see such lightness even his eyes were closed.
He experienced such unfathomable peace as he thinks about Kazuya more than anything. But in some ways, it pained him deep too, getting the guilt domains, often thinks how he made Kazuya’s life a mess.
.
Something interrupted his chain of thoughts and thanked that because he didn’t want to recall them anymore as he noticed something. Weird. Jin remained stilled as he observed it. The humid atmosphere cooled a bit. Appears to be a shade of something. An umbrella?
“Mou…. I didn’t reach the vocalist’s hand, gomen ne.”
Jin eyes got open as he heard the voice. He straightens his posture as he looked who’s that talking beside him while catching its breath.
“It’s okay miss nee-chan… don’t be sorry,” the girl straddling on the lap encircled her tiny arms around the neck and rest her head on the chest, sweetly.
“Anoo…”
“……”
Jin was speechless, glued his eyes into such mesmerizing face in front of him. His hair has grown bit more. His eyes were deep brown that glimmer under the shade of the blue umbrella and pointed nose that suits to face and those still pale-rose painted lips. He doesn’t know if he would believe in what his eyes see. Does he get deceived by them again? But the image was close enough for him to believe it was real.
The latter gracefully arched his thin brows “Excuse me? Anything wrong with my face?” he asked in a tone of annoyed one, but in a gentlest ever way as the words registered to Jin’s ears. It was so sweet that he just wanted to shed tears to the voice he yearned for. “N-Nothing,” he managed to talk, silently praised himself for doing such thing.
Kazuya felt odd towards the man. It should have made his body shiver if it not for those dark shinning orbs staring at him--- familiar. He could feel such loneliness that reaches him as he stared to his eyes. So desolate.
“Miss nee-chan? Who’s that guy?” the sightless young girl addressed him certainly as a guy because of Jin’s masculine tone of voice.
“Karin-chan?” Jin couldn’t forget that little girl. He met Karin when they went for a hunt for Kazuya’s notebook.
Jin take the girl’s both hands and put them on his cheeks “Do you remember me?” Karin began to caress Jin’s face, trying to recognize the man “Yeah! It’s you!~” the girl gladly announced and pulled Jin closer for an embrace.
Jin’s heart skips a beat as his face got only inches away from Kazuya’s after was yanked by the little girl who’s sitting on his lap. The beauty of Kazuya’s face was displayed, so close that he could feel his warm breath under his nose as Kazuya just went stilled and locked his gaze into such spell-binding orbs belongs to Jin.
Soon Kazuya barely managed himself to break the gaze “Uhm, you know him Karin-chan?” he asked with his half-shriveled voice.
Jin was suddenly pushed by the girl and grinned “Yes! Of course he is---“
Karin was muted by a growling sound belongs to Kazuya’s stomach “Gomen ne,” he apologize, shyly as Jin just smiled at him.
“Hmm, let’s find ourselves to eat?” Jin stood as Karin nodded happily “Would you mind to come?” Jin extend his hand and flashed a smile and Kazuya just bobbed his head “Let me carry you now Karin… miss nee-chan might have been tired,” Jin caught the little girl in his arms and let his smile got bigger when he grabbed Kazuya’s hands.
The younger one pouted as he heard Jin addressing him as the little girl do. He didn’t like it yet can’t protest. He felt more pleased to see the stranger like there’s part of him wanted him to embrace? Is it possible to yearn for someone who’d just met?
“Problem?” Kazuya jerked out as he gently squeeze his hand. That stranger still holding his hand yet he can’t object? They’re walking along the park and people are pinning their gazes to them as if they’re a perfect picture of a family. He can’t evade smiling on that thought.
“N-Nothing,” a nervous smile was unleashed and they continued to walk.
Part 2
“Okay,” the oldest stood up as he dragged his cousin to settle in the couch “Since everybody are here… let me announce you something,”
Kazuya yawned “Huh?”
“Let’s watch a play!” he pulled the tickets then offered it to the two. “The Lovers’ Moon,”
“Really? I thought it was already ended last July?” Junno spew out. He wasn’t a fan like him, but he just heard some of his patients talking about that in Jutendo.
He nodded “Un, but… they held a tour that begun in August and now heading into their last destination. Shikoku,”
Kazuya gazed at the ticket “Anou.. when will they perform?”
Tatsuya fold his arms in his chest “by last week of September, this month,”
“So I’ll reserve a sit for three of us earlier to avoid some Hassle,” Tatsuya grinned like a kid convincing his mother.
“I’ll go,” Junno smiled as he witnessed his grin. He deeply knows he wanted to watch that musical play desperately as it evident to his face. His cheeks were almost higher to his nose and his eyes transformed in a thin lines as he widely grins. The Knight named Tatsuya lastly off his guard for his desire. He released his best genuine smiles just to convince him and Kazuya, stretching his lips naively as Junno and Kazuya agreed.
“Come on, let’s go downtown,” Tatsuya lugged the two to be on their feet “I’ll treat the lunch for today.”
******
Kazuya smiled at the sun rays beaming to his face as he gazed upon the clear-blue sky above, filling his mind from renaissance that he usually undergo. The brisk humid wind of afternoon warms his cover as he stride into the pedestrian lane with the two men behind him. The cars honk. The smoke dances. The people paces in different directions. Everything he sees were just normal for his eyes, but rare within. He’s in the country miles away from States he used to live. Nippon.
These scenes of the younger stung Junno’s heart a lot. Kazuya looked like a tourist that first time to land in a place can’t be seen in the maps; but he’s in the country two years ago. Two good years. Those sweet smile that should warm his heart, pained him instead. What Kazuya would like if he doesn’t have that syndrome? Will those smiles would be pure than ever? Will he ever smile if he would remember all happened?
Somehow, Kazuya’s syndrome made him to escape the pain of his own lost. He remained radiant, no scars of the accident, not even the trails of tears fell when Hayato died. He was blessed that only the blissful moments left in him. The perfect family he had that time and their happiness they’ve shared that made him to cheer himself though living in confusions. Though he made an escape to the painful part of his life, the pierces made were left with an invisible mark that sooner will come out.
“You okay?” Tatsuya remarked.
“Yeah,” Junno respond as he still staring to Kazuya “I could still remember I brought Kazuya here to celebrate his birthday last year,”
“Oh, yes I remember too when you emailed me your pictures,” he smirked then gazed to his feet “and you said, he liked this place specially the beaches,”
He nodded “That’s why I’ve decided to take Kazuya here than any places few months ago. I don’t want him to stay in Jutendo any further particularly when Koyuki and Jin were there besides, it’s better for him to be away,”
Tatsuya clearly heard the informality of saying the older woman’s name “I’m sorry,”
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” he did his best to made words audible despite of threatening tears in his eyes “Sorry that I made you to hate your own mentor… I shouldn’t let myself to eaten by loathe as I said my words that day…”
Junno’s steps went dead “no need to say sorry,”
“Tat-chan!!! Jun-chan!!!” Kazuya waved his hands cheerfully as he noticed the two stopped from walking.
“Kazuya must not see that---“
Junno made a step to be infront of Tatsuya for him to block Kazuya from witnessing Tatsuya’s feeble state “I understand,” he whispers and assured him as he turned his head to meet the other “Okay! Kazu! Wait a minute! We’ll follow! Just don’t go too far ne?” Junno grinned lively as Kazuya nodded and rather take the bench and wait for them.
“Listen,” his smile suddenly drained then grabbed the shorter one in shoulders “It’s my choice Tat-chan…to hate people that ruined him and to take him away from them… I know I became selfish that I dragged Kazuya away to Jin even to his mother because I don’t want him to remember his painful past anymore… I’m afraid that it would be back if he often sees them together,”
“But it’ll be his choice,” he clenched his fist, still holding back his tears that welling to the edges of his eyes “He must face the truth, we should stop helping him to escape any longer,”
The fabric belongs to Junno’s handkerchief “I realized too… Kazuya must stay as this, I can’t see him again almost dying like two years ago,” he flashed a small smile to his lips, a cold smile but deep inside there’s a twinge in his heart seeing Tatsuya’s tears.
“Come on let’s go,” Junno assisted Kazuya to stood up as he called Tatsuya.
“Tat-chan!!!”
Kazu giggled as he also yelled “Yo! Tat-chan! Let’s go!”
Kazuya leaned his back towards a concrete post in front of a clothing store. He blows his fringes upward as he was waiting for the two man who were taking themselves busy digging into the mountain of clothes right after they’ve reached, seems they didn’t care at all, smiles where visible to their faces as they flipped every clothes, looking into each other and asking if it suits to them.
He crossed his arms to his chest as he remained to hold his umbrella, feeling his legs getting numb in standing for a long time. He felt the humid atmosphere moistens his body. The heat of the fiery sun hurting his sensitive skin despite of the umbrella was protecting him, if it’s not because of Junno and Tatsuya that filled with rare high spirits this time, he might have pulled them to go home.
“Anoo…nii-chan?”
He jerked out a bit as a voice suddenly entered his thoughts; it was a voice coming from a little girl. He couldn’t be wrong. He turned around “Anoo…nii-chan?” she called again as she swayed her free arm in the air as she was thumping the ground with a stick, seems grasping a figure and luckily touched the curve of his waist.
“Uhmm…”
Kazuya got stunned as she discarded the stick and fully encircled her both arms around his waist “Hey what’s wrong?” he asked as he met the girl’s eyes. Those pale black colored orbs seem nothing but emptiness within. Kazuya locked his eyes into her as she tried to feel her surroundings. She was scared.
“M-Miss… would you please H-help me to find my M-Mom?” the girl approximately seven years old pleaded as her tears begun to well her eyes.
He blinked a few times as he heard the word “miss” does she mistaken him as a woman? He just nonchalantly erased thoughts and knelt to wipe her tears as he shown his smile “Okay… I’ll help you please don’t cry. What’s your name anyway?”
“K-Karin…”
He unbend his knees and gave her stick as she hold the girl tightly “There are so many people here so…Just hold me Karin, okay?”
“Um~” She smiled and clasped her finger tightly into Kazuya’s
*****
“Argh, I’m so immature mother… I’m so… ARGHHHHHH!” the customer’s turned their heads to Yoshida who’s wailing non-stop while Jin, at the same table, bowing for the nuisance.
Jin pulled another tissue in a box on the center of the table and handed it to the woman. “Where did she…” He’s hesitant to continue. Because the last time the word “lost” was mentioned, she outburst her cries like a honk and made everyone in the café looked at them.
In the park, not so far away from the café, Kazuya held her hand firmly yet gently as they’ve arrived in the park. He could see how the little girl used her four left senses to see the surroundings; the rustling of trees, the humming of birds, splashes of water from the fountain and also the cool wind around the park, even the hand that was holding her… so delicate and slender it was… does this woman with this kind of hand is beautiful? And her voice was kinda hoarse yet so sweet… is she beautiful?
“tired already?” Karin heard the voice talking again, sweetly as she felt they went into a halt.
“N-No…” the sightless child bit her thin shuddering lips as another batch of tears will be out at any moment.
Kazuya tried to smile as he grabbed the girl into his arms and hold the stick together “I know you are Karin… Let me carry you ne?”
“Um~” she nodded timidly and sunk into the woman’s shoulders. She smells so sweet, sweet as her voice
.
Kazuya strode while soothing her back. His heart would have melt if he continues to see this kid crying in his front. He can’t help to remember someone in his past while seeing her, someone who made his life lighter despite of painful truths. She was young and sweet as this kid and almost same age as Karin-chan when she left.
“Haruka…” a smile slightly curved to his lips as he lifted his eyes upon the light-blue sky and he held what in his arms, closer then opened his blue umbrella.
:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:
“Hey, calm down,”
Tatsuya’s ears suddenly heated up “THE HELL HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?!” he cried as he gripped the other one’s shirt.
“I know it’s hard but… you know we can’t find him without some peace inside,” Junno remained calmed as he was facing anxious to death friend “He’s just been around,”
“C-Can’t contact h-him.. it’s…” the blond-haired man fished a pack of cigarette “Can’t be t-tranquil without even knowing w-where he was,” he handed a lighter and lit up as he was cursing because his hand was trembling like hell.
Junno could see how worried he was and pained him as he saw the tears threatening to fall into his eyes and this will be the first time he will see Tatsuya smoke since he came back in the country. Sighing, he snatched the lighter and lit the cigarette for him.
The pretty one didn’t even utter a ‘thank you’ as he hardly inhaled the smoke.
An abrupt caress was landed into edges of his teary eyes that made him jolted out. He got shivered more and his tears lastly burst out, overwhelmed with that warmth to his face, continuing sucking the cigarette to unleash more smoke until it was threw away and he found himself yanked with those arms, closer to the other one.
“Don’t hesitate to cry that all, we’ll find him after,” By that, Tatsuya’s tears became unstoppable, drenching Junno’s shirt.
He hugged this smaller figure for many times since they’re children. But this time it’s way too different. His body appreciates the heat from his body unusually. Junno pulled them apart, matching Tatsuya’s gaze in him. There’s a spark in those eyes he can’t interpret--- he wondered why.
:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
“It’s kinda cool here…”
He felt relaxed as he came into the public park. The place was almost shaded by huge trees , leaves that falling and fresh air was lucidly greeted his nose and skin. It was occupied by crowd yet it remained peaceful. Every people grouped by family or friends set their own mats and shared foods in there as the children scampered around, the chuckles and murmurings were echoing .
Jin set his feet to amble in the park, rove his sight around as a poster caught his attention. Poster of a band that will have a free outdoor concert in the park today. Pure. The band’s name is Pure. He never heard that band---- he was not familiar in any of them anyway. He saw people leisurely gathering in the venue as the staffs are still on the stage, getting some final touches.
He heave a vast sigh as he decided to contact Yoshida so he picked up his phone inside his pocket and punched in some digits “Yoshida-san did---“
Jin found himself off guarded as someone accidentally bumped at him that made his phone slipped into his hand and hit hard through the ground.
“Gomen-nasai!”
The person dashed in a fast paces after he get his dropped umbrella, that person seems hurrying that made him to ignore his path ahead and carrying someone in arms. His child? Why they’re in hurry? Jin has nothing to do but to pick up some pieces of his phone shattered in the ground before people might have stomp it.
“Such a unlucky day for me ne~” Jin thought while picking as he keep counting his misfortunes in his mind for today as a out-of-blue idea invade his brain.
“Gomen-nasai!”
The person’s voice rings to his head all of a sudden. He had a quality of voice same with a person he knew. Then his smell, he noticed as he was crashed into him. Same as him? As Kazuya? And the slippers as he seen when he crouched his head accidentally was same as his.
“Every unique design has been carved in one pair of slippers so you will be certain that only you had that design,” Jin remembered the man said in the store where he and Kazuya bought slippers in Osaka. “Those slippers are especially made with another pair”
“Kazuya?!”
He couldn’t be wrong on that. They have the same designed-slippers and they’re both wearing it today. His heart suddenly goes in anticipation, as if he can’t breathe any longer. The slippers were still in Kazuya. The unfathomable longing has finally ceased and replaced by desire to see him, to see him smile again. He knows that Kazuya may not remember him anymore but Kazuya is here… in Shikoku where he is, now… he’s closer.
Jin rushed to go after the man who’s almost disappearing to his eyes. He can’t bear the desire also running through his being. Needed to see Kazuya, Badly. He just felt suffocating without the young man near him. He just wanted him, like Oxygen needed by his lungs. He couldn’t waste any chances by this time, he could risk anything just to grasped Kazuya back closer to him.
The crowd in the concert venue was thick enough to block some ways in the area. The concert will start at any moment in time. He could here scream of them, chants, and waving of banners and posters. He lost Kazuya to his sight in amidst of the crowd. But he doesn’t lose his hope. He tactlessly shoved himself through pack of fans gathered in the place, roved his sight with blazing determination.
The screams went deafening as the long-awaited band of five went out the stage. The fans of Pure scream their passion in their idols. But Jin didn’t care at all, persist on pushing through, searching for him. He got battered by the fans almost losing their senses as the band begins to put their music on with the instruments. Who cares about it? Even Jin didn’t. The surrounding got even chaotic and Jin lost Kazuya still, but carry on, I can find him.
Pure ‘s lead vocalist started to sing as the whole venue got even intense. Jin was searching for long and he’s already losing his breath so he decided to stop for a while to catch some air.
Midst of this desert of longing… I cry, for the most important treasure I’ve lost here ,I cry,
Sizzling heat of pride in day and freezing desire in night could kill me
But I’ll still go on and find what I’ve lost here…
The lyrics in that song made his determination grew more. He set his feet again to run and continues his search until he reached the end part of the venue where the people wasn’t flocked as there. His heartbeat was raised again as he got back the man with the child he carries in his sight, heading in a stall of cotton candy.
“Kazuya!”
Jin approached the man and abruptly encircled his arms in his body “Kazuya! I-“
“Excuse me?” the man turned around. Jin got shocked as he met terrified face of the guy and the child he carries.
His legs went as jelly when the person walked away to him, felt weak after, being deceived by his own sight. He just mistook some guy as Kazuya. Does he desperate that much to see him? Jin dumped pile of questions to his head as he walked faintly toward a wooden bench, experiencing the pain of disappointment mixed with longing. As he parked in the bench alone, leaned and extend his arms. He closed his eyes and tilted his head upward, begging the fringes of sun to melt down the pain he had, to block the tear drops that will fall, the wind soothing his neck and he could see such lightness even his eyes were closed.
He experienced such unfathomable peace as he thinks about Kazuya more than anything. But in some ways, it pained him deep too, getting the guilt domains, often thinks how he made Kazuya’s life a mess.
.
Something interrupted his chain of thoughts and thanked that because he didn’t want to recall them anymore as he noticed something. Weird. Jin remained stilled as he observed it. The humid atmosphere cooled a bit. Appears to be a shade of something. An umbrella?
“Mou…. I didn’t reach the vocalist’s hand, gomen ne.”
Jin eyes got open as he heard the voice. He straightens his posture as he looked who’s that talking beside him while catching its breath.
“It’s okay miss nee-chan… don’t be sorry,” the girl straddling on the lap encircled her tiny arms around the neck and rest her head on the chest, sweetly.
“Anoo…”
“……”
Jin was speechless, glued his eyes into such mesmerizing face in front of him. His hair has grown bit more. His eyes were deep brown that glimmer under the shade of the blue umbrella and pointed nose that suits to face and those still pale-rose painted lips. He doesn’t know if he would believe in what his eyes see. Does he get deceived by them again? But the image was close enough for him to believe it was real.
The latter gracefully arched his thin brows “Excuse me? Anything wrong with my face?” he asked in a tone of annoyed one, but in a gentlest ever way as the words registered to Jin’s ears. It was so sweet that he just wanted to shed tears to the voice he yearned for. “N-Nothing,” he managed to talk, silently praised himself for doing such thing.
Kazuya felt odd towards the man. It should have made his body shiver if it not for those dark shinning orbs staring at him--- familiar. He could feel such loneliness that reaches him as he stared to his eyes. So desolate.
“Miss nee-chan? Who’s that guy?” the sightless young girl addressed him certainly as a guy because of Jin’s masculine tone of voice.
“Karin-chan?” Jin couldn’t forget that little girl. He met Karin when they went for a hunt for Kazuya’s notebook.
Jin take the girl’s both hands and put them on his cheeks “Do you remember me?” Karin began to caress Jin’s face, trying to recognize the man “Yeah! It’s you!~” the girl gladly announced and pulled Jin closer for an embrace.
Jin’s heart skips a beat as his face got only inches away from Kazuya’s after was yanked by the little girl who’s sitting on his lap. The beauty of Kazuya’s face was displayed, so close that he could feel his warm breath under his nose as Kazuya just went stilled and locked his gaze into such spell-binding orbs belongs to Jin.
Soon Kazuya barely managed himself to break the gaze “Uhm, you know him Karin-chan?” he asked with his half-shriveled voice.
Jin was suddenly pushed by the girl and grinned “Yes! Of course he is---“
Karin was muted by a growling sound belongs to Kazuya’s stomach “Gomen ne,” he apologize, shyly as Jin just smiled at him.
“Hmm, let’s find ourselves to eat?” Jin stood as Karin nodded happily “Would you mind to come?” Jin extend his hand and flashed a smile and Kazuya just bobbed his head “Let me carry you now Karin… miss nee-chan might have been tired,” Jin caught the little girl in his arms and let his smile got bigger when he grabbed Kazuya’s hands.
The younger one pouted as he heard Jin addressing him as the little girl do. He didn’t like it yet can’t protest. He felt more pleased to see the stranger like there’s part of him wanted him to embrace? Is it possible to yearn for someone who’d just met?
“Problem?” Kazuya jerked out as he gently squeeze his hand. That stranger still holding his hand yet he can’t object? They’re walking along the park and people are pinning their gazes to them as if they’re a perfect picture of a family. He can’t evade smiling on that thought.
“N-Nothing,” a nervous smile was unleashed and they continued to walk.
Part 2