fic: with somebody who loves me
Title: With Somebody Who Loves Me
Pairing: Quinn/Brittany
Author:turtlevenom7
Rating: Rated: M
Spoilers: Up to 3x17
Summary: Circa 3x17 Quinn is feeling down and depressed about her injury and being in a wheelchair. She's feeling unattractive and like nobody would ever want to be with her. Brittany wants to make Quinn feel beautiful and loved.
A/N: Fill of a GKM prompt. The movie they watch is a film my friend made me sit through one day. It was beautifully done, but in terms of the romantic subplot, it's like one of the subtlest movies/books to ever exist. In terms of pace, it makes Pride and Prejudice look like a harlequin novel.
When Mr. Schuster announces that they are doing a tribute to Whitney Houston, Brittany is just as excited as everyone in the room. Finally, a week where she can sing again. As far as she's concerned, if you can't dance to a song in Glee it doesn't really interest her. She'd leave the Broadway numbers and angsty emotional ballads to the people who did them so well. Like Santana and Mercedes, and Rachel if you paid attention, which Brittany often doesn't.
Unfortunately, after he tells them to honor Whitney's memory and accomplishments, he keeps talking. It's usually pretty hard for Brittany to follow what Mr. Schue says. She doesn't see how a single word on the board always translates into some really complex message that has nothing to do with the songs they perform.
She doesn't really see what Whitney Houston has to do with upheaval. Most of her songs were about love or like...adultery. Unless you count that song from the Prince of Egypt, but Brittany is pretty sure Sue and Kurt teamed up to ban music about God a long time ago. It's a little too late for Mr. Schue to start caring about the trouble they'd all been having or to think the Queen of Pop would fix all their problems or help them say goodbye. But then again, he did think that Cyndi Lauper song would help Santana come out so Brittany is just grateful he isn't making them sing that super sad Vitamin C song. Or maybe he's just saving that for graduation. Who knows?
She leans back in her chair and listens while everyone else discusses the songs they want to sing. She already knows what her performance will be. Dance with Somebody is such an upbeat song and she has the band guys give it a techno twist. Even during rehearsals she hadn't been able to keep the smile off her face. Now during the performance, neither can the rest of the Glee club. But as she pulls Blaine up to twirl him around the room, she notices Quinn.
She'd been smiling and laughing at first, but now she just looks uncomfortable even though she's still nodding along to the beat. It takes Brittany a few seconds to understand the problem. Even when she was the most unhappy, Quinn always loved dancing in Glee club. She's kind of like Santana that way. Brittany can still remember dipping her and spinning her when she was pregnant, careful not to bump her stomach too much. It was one of the few times she heard her really laugh that year. Or the year after, to be honest.
She reaches for Quinn, hoping to pull her out to dance with them. To show her that as long as the music is playing, Glee club will always be that fun place they'd found sophomore year. She doesn't know why Quinn pulls back and turns away, but she recognizes that smile. It's not a playful smile, or even a shy one. It's Quinn's leave me alone smile. Even if she hadn't seen Quinn dance in her wheelchair before, she'd dated Artie for months so she knows it's possible with a little skill and a lot of upper body strength. She can tell Quinn isn't angry with her; she's just going to that place in her head where she thinks no one can see her.
She tries to make Quinn smile in the auditorium by telling her she's still magical and the chair doesn't matter, but that only makes it worse. Mercedes thinks it's all about her wanting to hook up with the new girl Jo. Brittany doesn't buy that.
"Yeah, but she's not even Quinn's type. She's over her tattoos and piercings phase. I think it's something more than that. Quinn wouldn't even dance with me."
Santana looks concerned too.
"Look B, I'm not saying you're wrong, but you know how Quinn is. If we confront her about it, she'll just stop talking to us. Or get angry."
"Maybe, but she needs someone."
"And if she asks for help, we'll be here. When I was going through all that crap last year, she left me alone. She didn't try to yank me out of the closet and force me to sing about it. I at least owe it to her to return the favor."
Brittany nods. Santana is right. Santana is almost always right. But Brittany doesn't owe Quinn anything except to be her friend.
"We should hang out."
Quinn snaps back out of her open locker as if she's been startled. She looks up and smiles. It doesn't reach her eyes. When Quinn just tilts her head, she continues.
"I have a premium Netflix account and I know how much you like to watch that lesbian cop show."
"Okay..." Quinn says in the same tone of voice she'd used the summer after freshman year when Brittany convinced her to set up that makeshift Slip 'N Slide in her huge backyard. She takes that as a good sign. Even though they'd ruined Mrs. Fabray's flowers, it was been one of the best days Brittany can remember.
Before Quinn can stop her, Brittany picks up her bookbag and slings it over her shoulder. She bounces on her toes and motions for Quinn to follow her.
"I'll race you to the car."
When they pull up to Brittany's house, she watches Quinn struggle into her chair, straighten the sleeves of her jacket and roll towards the house. She seems almost angry when Brittany grabs the handles and tilts the chair back to get it over the doorjamb.
It's not until they get to the living room and Brittany picks her up to move her to the couch that Quinn snaps.
"I can do it myself."
Brittany just holds Quinn closer.
"Sure you can. But I'm here and you used to like when I picked you up. It doesn't have to have anything to do with the chair if you don't want it to."
She sets Quinn down and moves to set up the TV. When she's done, she hands Quinn the remote and goes to the kitchen to get snacks. She comes back with her arms full and drops everything on the coffee table. In the corner of her eye, Quinn is shifting uncomfortably
"Britt, I'm sorry I'm being such a bitch." She still looks so sad that it's making Brittany want to cry for her.
" You're not a bitch, Quinn; you're my best friend. Now scoot over."
She and Brittany haven't spoken a word in hours. They watched several episodes of what Brittany swore was a lesbian show. Quinn tries to tell her that no show on primetime network television would have two gay leads, but her protests falls on deaf ears. After a while they switch to a movie. Brittany lets Quinn pick again, which she says was unfair but Brittany once again ignores her to reach across and steal the rest of her drink. She calls it a fair trade even though she immediately gets up to refill it for her.
With no other option, Quinn puts on The Remains of the Day. She's just finished the book and wants to see if the film is just as good. It is. She looks over expecting Brittany to be asleep. Instead she's gazing out the window seeming perfectly content to sit with Quinn all day watching a movie that has to be boring her to death.
As if feeling Quinn's eyes on her, Brittany reaches around and pulls her closer. She kisses her on the top of her head when Quinn finally relents and rests her head on her shoulder.
They sit like that, quietly together until the end credits roll.
At some point, Quinn must have fallen asleep. When she wakes up, Brittany is watching something with aliens and spaceships. She's nestled into Brittany's side with a strong arm wrapped around her. Still hazy, she rubs her face against Brittany much like a drowsy kitten.
She feels safe, like she used to as a little girl before she outgrew her father's lap and a single mistake ensured he would never hold her and call her his little girl again. That heady warm feeling must cloud her judgment because her next movement is to lean forward and brush her lips against Brittany's once, twice, three times before pulling back. She takes Brittany's inactivity for discomfort and jerks back so quickly she almost falls off the couch.
The reality of what just happened washes over her like a bucket of ice. She looks at the ground, at her hands, at anything but Brittany. Her chair is too far to clamber into it and flee. She doesn't have her car so there is nowhere she can go anyway. She just waits for the rejection she knows is coming.
"Easy, Quinn." Brittany says, grabbing her hand and squeezing until Quinn looks up. "You just surprised me. If I had known you were OK with me kissing you, I would have done it way more over the years."
"You don't want me." Nobody wanted her. They obviously hadn't wanted her as ugly outcast Lucy. But they didn't even want her as pretty popular Quinn. Not really. Certainly no one was going to want her now after she'd once again ruined her life with yet another stupid mistake.
"I do want you. I've always wanted you, Quinn."
Brittany picks Quinn up as if she weighs nothing but instead of feeling patronized, she feels like a princess. For a blonde cheerleader, she guesses Brittany can be pretty dashing. On the way up the stairs, Quinn stares up at Brittany. At her mouth still quirked up with a hint of a smile, the light dusting of freckles over her nose, her golden hair, like Quinn's but much brighter. And natural. Most of all she scans her eyes, so blue and friendly. Quinn doesn't think she's once seen Brittany look angry. Only sad or disappointed.
Brittany nudges the door open with her shoulder and sets Quinn on the bed. It's dark now, so she turns the lamp to a low setting. It's bright enough to see and to start gently pulling off Quinn's sweater. It's soft enough that Quinn still remains in that protective little Brittany-bubble shielded from the insecurity she should feel at being slowly stripped by one of her closest friends.
The entire time, Brittany keeps her eyes on Quinn's. Quinn seems to be searching her face for something: an explanation, a hidden agenda, anything but the truth. Brittany isn't nearly as dumb as everyone thinks, but neither is she overly complicated. With Brittany, what you see is almost always what you get.
Even as she relaxes back against the pillows, Quinn is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Brittany wants her to see that there isn't one. She's perfect and Brittany just wants to make her happy. She tells her so.
You're perfect. Two words. Twelve letters. Brittany says it as if it's so simple. A universal truth like saying the sky is blue or that up was up and down was down.
Quinn shakes her head. No one had ever thought she was perfect. She's spent most of her life aiming for good enough.
Brittany keeps going. "I know you won't listen to me if I tell you how awesome you are, but maybe I can show you."
This time she bends down and presses their lips together.
Brittany kisses her for long moments, her tongue sliding between her lips and stroking into her mouth. She feels hands on her shoulders tracing down her sides and up behind her to unhook her bra. She leans up to pull it off completely.
Brittany kisses her again, firmly pressing her back down.
"Relax now, I've got you."
Something about the look in her eyes and the way her smile says Trust me warms Quinn from the inside out.
She finally moves her hands to brush Brittany's bangs off her forehead. She gives a tiny nod, but she can tell Brittany's seen it when her grin widens.
Brittany makes a point to go slow with Quinn. She doubts she's had sex since sleeping with Puck and is pretty sure she's never had an orgasm. She kisses down her chest, amazed at how pale and perfect Quinn's skin is.
Guys' skin is rough, Santana's skin is like toffee, and hers is sprinkled with freckles but Quinn's is like pure milk cream. Probably because she hasn't worn a bikini since Beth was born. When Brittany's mouth reaches her belly button, she feels Quinn stiffen. She knows its because Quinn is worried about the stretch marks and the scars from her surgery. She locks eyes with her again, silently asking for permission. Quinn squeezes her hand and closes her eyes, exhaling a deep breath.
Brittany knows that's her answer.
Quinn's breath shudders out in a loud gasp as Brittany's lips trace over her inner thigh. Her mouth is so hot and her tongue is a wicked contrast to the sweetness of this encounter. She feels Brittany's lips on her: stroking, licking, sucking, every movement maddeningly slow. Her hands continue to massage Quinn's thighs offering comfort but at the same time holding her hips down. She continues loving Quinn with her mouth, never once breaking pace, until she goes rigid.
Quinn can hear herself yelling out but is unable to stop her gasping cries. She thinks she calls out Brittany's name. She knows she says words unsuited for a good Christian girl. Quinn has never felt this kind of pleasure, not with Puck or Finn or with her own fingers. She barely registers when Brittany sets her legs down and comes to lay beside her and pulls her spare blanket over them
Later, as she is resting against Brittany, listening to her steady heartbeat, she understands that even if she never dances again, she has somebody who loves her.
Pairing: Quinn/Brittany
Author:turtlevenom7
Rating: Rated: M
Spoilers: Up to 3x17
Summary: Circa 3x17 Quinn is feeling down and depressed about her injury and being in a wheelchair. She's feeling unattractive and like nobody would ever want to be with her. Brittany wants to make Quinn feel beautiful and loved.
A/N: Fill of a GKM prompt. The movie they watch is a film my friend made me sit through one day. It was beautifully done, but in terms of the romantic subplot, it's like one of the subtlest movies/books to ever exist. In terms of pace, it makes Pride and Prejudice look like a harlequin novel.
When Mr. Schuster announces that they are doing a tribute to Whitney Houston, Brittany is just as excited as everyone in the room. Finally, a week where she can sing again. As far as she's concerned, if you can't dance to a song in Glee it doesn't really interest her. She'd leave the Broadway numbers and angsty emotional ballads to the people who did them so well. Like Santana and Mercedes, and Rachel if you paid attention, which Brittany often doesn't.
Unfortunately, after he tells them to honor Whitney's memory and accomplishments, he keeps talking. It's usually pretty hard for Brittany to follow what Mr. Schue says. She doesn't see how a single word on the board always translates into some really complex message that has nothing to do with the songs they perform.
She doesn't really see what Whitney Houston has to do with upheaval. Most of her songs were about love or like...adultery. Unless you count that song from the Prince of Egypt, but Brittany is pretty sure Sue and Kurt teamed up to ban music about God a long time ago. It's a little too late for Mr. Schue to start caring about the trouble they'd all been having or to think the Queen of Pop would fix all their problems or help them say goodbye. But then again, he did think that Cyndi Lauper song would help Santana come out so Brittany is just grateful he isn't making them sing that super sad Vitamin C song. Or maybe he's just saving that for graduation. Who knows?
She leans back in her chair and listens while everyone else discusses the songs they want to sing. She already knows what her performance will be. Dance with Somebody is such an upbeat song and she has the band guys give it a techno twist. Even during rehearsals she hadn't been able to keep the smile off her face. Now during the performance, neither can the rest of the Glee club. But as she pulls Blaine up to twirl him around the room, she notices Quinn.
She'd been smiling and laughing at first, but now she just looks uncomfortable even though she's still nodding along to the beat. It takes Brittany a few seconds to understand the problem. Even when she was the most unhappy, Quinn always loved dancing in Glee club. She's kind of like Santana that way. Brittany can still remember dipping her and spinning her when she was pregnant, careful not to bump her stomach too much. It was one of the few times she heard her really laugh that year. Or the year after, to be honest.
She reaches for Quinn, hoping to pull her out to dance with them. To show her that as long as the music is playing, Glee club will always be that fun place they'd found sophomore year. She doesn't know why Quinn pulls back and turns away, but she recognizes that smile. It's not a playful smile, or even a shy one. It's Quinn's leave me alone smile. Even if she hadn't seen Quinn dance in her wheelchair before, she'd dated Artie for months so she knows it's possible with a little skill and a lot of upper body strength. She can tell Quinn isn't angry with her; she's just going to that place in her head where she thinks no one can see her.
She tries to make Quinn smile in the auditorium by telling her she's still magical and the chair doesn't matter, but that only makes it worse. Mercedes thinks it's all about her wanting to hook up with the new girl Jo. Brittany doesn't buy that.
"Yeah, but she's not even Quinn's type. She's over her tattoos and piercings phase. I think it's something more than that. Quinn wouldn't even dance with me."
Santana looks concerned too.
"Look B, I'm not saying you're wrong, but you know how Quinn is. If we confront her about it, she'll just stop talking to us. Or get angry."
"Maybe, but she needs someone."
"And if she asks for help, we'll be here. When I was going through all that crap last year, she left me alone. She didn't try to yank me out of the closet and force me to sing about it. I at least owe it to her to return the favor."
Brittany nods. Santana is right. Santana is almost always right. But Brittany doesn't owe Quinn anything except to be her friend.
"We should hang out."
Quinn snaps back out of her open locker as if she's been startled. She looks up and smiles. It doesn't reach her eyes. When Quinn just tilts her head, she continues.
"I have a premium Netflix account and I know how much you like to watch that lesbian cop show."
"Okay..." Quinn says in the same tone of voice she'd used the summer after freshman year when Brittany convinced her to set up that makeshift Slip 'N Slide in her huge backyard. She takes that as a good sign. Even though they'd ruined Mrs. Fabray's flowers, it was been one of the best days Brittany can remember.
Before Quinn can stop her, Brittany picks up her bookbag and slings it over her shoulder. She bounces on her toes and motions for Quinn to follow her.
"I'll race you to the car."
When they pull up to Brittany's house, she watches Quinn struggle into her chair, straighten the sleeves of her jacket and roll towards the house. She seems almost angry when Brittany grabs the handles and tilts the chair back to get it over the doorjamb.
It's not until they get to the living room and Brittany picks her up to move her to the couch that Quinn snaps.
"I can do it myself."
Brittany just holds Quinn closer.
"Sure you can. But I'm here and you used to like when I picked you up. It doesn't have to have anything to do with the chair if you don't want it to."
She sets Quinn down and moves to set up the TV. When she's done, she hands Quinn the remote and goes to the kitchen to get snacks. She comes back with her arms full and drops everything on the coffee table. In the corner of her eye, Quinn is shifting uncomfortably
"Britt, I'm sorry I'm being such a bitch." She still looks so sad that it's making Brittany want to cry for her.
" You're not a bitch, Quinn; you're my best friend. Now scoot over."
She and Brittany haven't spoken a word in hours. They watched several episodes of what Brittany swore was a lesbian show. Quinn tries to tell her that no show on primetime network television would have two gay leads, but her protests falls on deaf ears. After a while they switch to a movie. Brittany lets Quinn pick again, which she says was unfair but Brittany once again ignores her to reach across and steal the rest of her drink. She calls it a fair trade even though she immediately gets up to refill it for her.
With no other option, Quinn puts on The Remains of the Day. She's just finished the book and wants to see if the film is just as good. It is. She looks over expecting Brittany to be asleep. Instead she's gazing out the window seeming perfectly content to sit with Quinn all day watching a movie that has to be boring her to death.
As if feeling Quinn's eyes on her, Brittany reaches around and pulls her closer. She kisses her on the top of her head when Quinn finally relents and rests her head on her shoulder.
They sit like that, quietly together until the end credits roll.
At some point, Quinn must have fallen asleep. When she wakes up, Brittany is watching something with aliens and spaceships. She's nestled into Brittany's side with a strong arm wrapped around her. Still hazy, she rubs her face against Brittany much like a drowsy kitten.
She feels safe, like she used to as a little girl before she outgrew her father's lap and a single mistake ensured he would never hold her and call her his little girl again. That heady warm feeling must cloud her judgment because her next movement is to lean forward and brush her lips against Brittany's once, twice, three times before pulling back. She takes Brittany's inactivity for discomfort and jerks back so quickly she almost falls off the couch.
The reality of what just happened washes over her like a bucket of ice. She looks at the ground, at her hands, at anything but Brittany. Her chair is too far to clamber into it and flee. She doesn't have her car so there is nowhere she can go anyway. She just waits for the rejection she knows is coming.
"Easy, Quinn." Brittany says, grabbing her hand and squeezing until Quinn looks up. "You just surprised me. If I had known you were OK with me kissing you, I would have done it way more over the years."
"You don't want me." Nobody wanted her. They obviously hadn't wanted her as ugly outcast Lucy. But they didn't even want her as pretty popular Quinn. Not really. Certainly no one was going to want her now after she'd once again ruined her life with yet another stupid mistake.
"I do want you. I've always wanted you, Quinn."
Brittany picks Quinn up as if she weighs nothing but instead of feeling patronized, she feels like a princess. For a blonde cheerleader, she guesses Brittany can be pretty dashing. On the way up the stairs, Quinn stares up at Brittany. At her mouth still quirked up with a hint of a smile, the light dusting of freckles over her nose, her golden hair, like Quinn's but much brighter. And natural. Most of all she scans her eyes, so blue and friendly. Quinn doesn't think she's once seen Brittany look angry. Only sad or disappointed.
Brittany nudges the door open with her shoulder and sets Quinn on the bed. It's dark now, so she turns the lamp to a low setting. It's bright enough to see and to start gently pulling off Quinn's sweater. It's soft enough that Quinn still remains in that protective little Brittany-bubble shielded from the insecurity she should feel at being slowly stripped by one of her closest friends.
The entire time, Brittany keeps her eyes on Quinn's. Quinn seems to be searching her face for something: an explanation, a hidden agenda, anything but the truth. Brittany isn't nearly as dumb as everyone thinks, but neither is she overly complicated. With Brittany, what you see is almost always what you get.
Even as she relaxes back against the pillows, Quinn is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Brittany wants her to see that there isn't one. She's perfect and Brittany just wants to make her happy. She tells her so.
You're perfect. Two words. Twelve letters. Brittany says it as if it's so simple. A universal truth like saying the sky is blue or that up was up and down was down.
Quinn shakes her head. No one had ever thought she was perfect. She's spent most of her life aiming for good enough.
Brittany keeps going. "I know you won't listen to me if I tell you how awesome you are, but maybe I can show you."
This time she bends down and presses their lips together.
Brittany kisses her for long moments, her tongue sliding between her lips and stroking into her mouth. She feels hands on her shoulders tracing down her sides and up behind her to unhook her bra. She leans up to pull it off completely.
Brittany kisses her again, firmly pressing her back down.
"Relax now, I've got you."
Something about the look in her eyes and the way her smile says Trust me warms Quinn from the inside out.
She finally moves her hands to brush Brittany's bangs off her forehead. She gives a tiny nod, but she can tell Brittany's seen it when her grin widens.
Brittany makes a point to go slow with Quinn. She doubts she's had sex since sleeping with Puck and is pretty sure she's never had an orgasm. She kisses down her chest, amazed at how pale and perfect Quinn's skin is.
Guys' skin is rough, Santana's skin is like toffee, and hers is sprinkled with freckles but Quinn's is like pure milk cream. Probably because she hasn't worn a bikini since Beth was born. When Brittany's mouth reaches her belly button, she feels Quinn stiffen. She knows its because Quinn is worried about the stretch marks and the scars from her surgery. She locks eyes with her again, silently asking for permission. Quinn squeezes her hand and closes her eyes, exhaling a deep breath.
Brittany knows that's her answer.
Quinn's breath shudders out in a loud gasp as Brittany's lips trace over her inner thigh. Her mouth is so hot and her tongue is a wicked contrast to the sweetness of this encounter. She feels Brittany's lips on her: stroking, licking, sucking, every movement maddeningly slow. Her hands continue to massage Quinn's thighs offering comfort but at the same time holding her hips down. She continues loving Quinn with her mouth, never once breaking pace, until she goes rigid.
Quinn can hear herself yelling out but is unable to stop her gasping cries. She thinks she calls out Brittany's name. She knows she says words unsuited for a good Christian girl. Quinn has never felt this kind of pleasure, not with Puck or Finn or with her own fingers. She barely registers when Brittany sets her legs down and comes to lay beside her and pulls her spare blanket over them
Later, as she is resting against Brittany, listening to her steady heartbeat, she understands that even if she never dances again, she has somebody who loves her.