I found the problem with Higher Education-
This is what bothers me, as an incoming College Freshman.
I did everything right.
Sure, I could have done better in a lot of places, and it sure as hell wasn't perfect, but I took my SATs. I took the ACT. I took the APs, I did the PSAT, I wrote essays, interviewed, got on mailing lists, studied, studied more, volunteered, worked, worked more, spend upwards of $2,000 on test prep books, flashcards, guides to colleges, test fees, and guides to writing essays. This was over a period of about six years, so that $2,000 was spaced out a little, but regardless it was a lot of money. That doesn't include the application fees I spent, nor the postage I bought, and it thankfully doesn't include the $1,500 worth of flights I took. I was lucky, the colleges paid for those.
I figured out exactly what I wanted! It took the entire process from start to finish, and I told several different schools I was interested in completely different majors throughout my applications, but by the end, I had a general idea of what I wanted.
I liked smaller schools- the "Liberal Arts College" (LAC) though there were exceptions. I wanted someplace with a moderate to liberal environment and a focus on international/global studies. I wanted the big perspective. I wanted to study Chinese. I wanted Art History and even Museum Studies. Anthropology would be great too!
I needed a helluva financial aid package. Most people do, when tuition is $53,000. My parents are divorced. My dad pays my mom who makes hardly anything on her own, and he has a lot of debt- the house which has his student loans debt thrown in, the cars he had to buy, he now has a new wife and step daughter, and he also has an apartment. He makes a pretty sweet salary if you're totally blind to the fact of how much debt he has.
I've been very angry with my dad on and off throughout high school- to the point where I tried to get him exempted from my financial aid as the non-custodial parent because he was going to throw my financial calculations out of wack (without my child support my mom has no way to pay for the house), and we would go ages without talking. Important things like "Hey, I'm married." were mentioned in passing. I was nigh determined to try and seperate my dad's money (that I didn't have) from my ability to pay for college. No dice.
Well okay, I applied to the School. It was my perfect school. They flew me out (twice!) I applied early decision. My financial aid package was enough that I could probably go, but not quite as much as I needed to avoid a hefty amount of debt at the end. No matter, it was perfect. The East Asian Studies department had lunch with me, I sat in on a Museum Studies class and impressed the Professor with my observations of Picasso's Les Demoiselles d'Avignon. I made a lot of friends. There was a professor whose specialty was East Asian art, and there was an Asian Studies reading room complete with changing display of art. Basically, if it could have gone right, it did. I was accepted. The dean of admissions wrote a congragulatory note on my acceptance letter. Acceptance rates were 31.6%. I beat out a ton of other kids. When I did poorly in Pre-calculus and had a freakout on my counselor, the admissions office responded with "Just pass the class. You're fine."
Goal? Accomplished.
Except the caveat.
Always the caveat.
My financial aid package wasn't set. My dad's 2009 tax return was sent- he made more than the previous year, but incurred more debt from having to replace his car, and a few other things. I delivered it in person. This was shortly after the "Oh hey, I'm married now" fiasco, and I anxiously waited for my new aid award. I got an ominous email saying my package had changed "drastically" their words, not mine. It wasn't for another few weeks that I got my new award letter. I'd already graduated, but there it was, the quick death of my future plans. Award? What award? I was being asked to pay over $40,000 a year. I didn't have that money. My dad didn't have that money. He called to appeal. He asked what my back up plan was.
I laughed nervously.
Now let me quote the same Dean of Admissions that wrote on my acceptance. The circumstance is different, but the context is the same:
“Last year, we rescinded an early decision offer after a student was kicked out of boarding school,’’ Ms. Merrill said. “It’s especially painful for the early-decision candidate, because they have no other options, and it’s often too late to apply anywhere else.’’
My appeals were denied. I wrote my admissions officer. I explained I'd have to withdraw my ED agreement if things didn't change. I had no back up plan. I didn't have $40,000. $20,000 I could try to pay. That I couldn't. The deadlines all passed. I had withdrawn my acceptances and my applications. She offered to speak to the Dean. The Dean spoke with Financial aid services. The story changed somewhere in between. First I was told that everyone's packages would be given some adjustments because the school over-budgeted. Then I was told it was solely me. That it was my dad's income. I asked why his debts were not being considered. I was told my rescindance was accepted, that my obligation to attend was removed. Then I was told all information was confidential. My parents were still sent parent of student guides. I'm still recieving Alumni Magazines and requests for donations.
I emailed one of the few schools that had accepted me before I received my ED acceptance. They said they were willing to take me. Lucky me, but I'll be honest, while I can afford them with loans, they don't have a major in chinese (just classes). I've never visited. They don't have a museum studies program, nor an Art History professor whose specialty is Asian Art. I don't know if they have anything I want besides being small and a "good" school.
Thus enters the true problem in all of this- the real conundrum of the supposedly middle class child.
I'm a really good student. The really good schools, public or private are equally expensive. I have no way of affording them. I have too much "income" to be considered needy. My dad's debt is nearly equal to his income, so despite the six figures, it's not all that impressive. The schools I can afford aren't as well known, aren't as well equiped, or aren't as specialized in what I want. To be sure, I have a slight expectation that I am "owed" something. And why not? I did everything right. I paid the fees for testing, I got good grades, I did the extracurriculars, and I wrote the essays. Why do all that for no reason? Good students are rewarded with acceptances after all. College tuition is a difficult game- the poorest students must be the best, because the best students get into the schools with the most need based aid, the rich students must hope they can afford tuition outright, or only apply to schools they can afford but may not have what they want, and the middle class are tossed somewhere in between, expected to take insane loans and pay tuition. Want to know how the housing bubble got so big? Why so many Americans are defaulting? They refinanced their houses to pay for college, took out second mortgages, because of schools that are "non-profit" but charge $40,000 a year or more. There's a bubble in Higher education, and it's yet to have burst.
But Caveat Emptor, of course. As someone who wants to go to Grad School, my problem is furthered.
My new school is still fairly good, and is known as a "College that changes lives" from the Loren Pope book. But it doesn't quite comprehensively have what I need or want from my education. Thus, the problem is this- the school I'm going to has the resources of money to help me do original research, but not necessarily all the classes I want to have on my application for Grad school. If I transfer, I'll have to transfer to a less rigorous or less known school (probably) in order to be able to afford it. I'll have the classes I want, but not the preparation for a Grad program.
I actually did a search for schools that matched my criteria- especially including the Chinese Major - and came up of course, with the same damn school that took away my aid. I know. I applied. I was there! I got accepted! I know it has exactly what I want!
I just can't afford the pricetag, so I'm making do with figuring out whether or not this other school will work for me, or not.
And that's all. :|
I'M ENDING WITH THIS: I'm having a bad week and I'm hyping myself up in circles and I need to take a chill pill a little. Lol. IN TERMS OF OPTIMISM: Things could be a LOT worse, and the school I am going to is working on instating a Chinese minor and so maybe things will work out there, I'm just being jittery because I'm packing and my flight is the 31st.
I'll feel better about this later, probably. I mean, I'm still bitter at college #1, but college #2 has done nothing but be awesome to me, excepting the fact that I have no roommate yet, and it's like christ, do I have to order one of those off of Amazon or something?
I did everything right.
Sure, I could have done better in a lot of places, and it sure as hell wasn't perfect, but I took my SATs. I took the ACT. I took the APs, I did the PSAT, I wrote essays, interviewed, got on mailing lists, studied, studied more, volunteered, worked, worked more, spend upwards of $2,000 on test prep books, flashcards, guides to colleges, test fees, and guides to writing essays. This was over a period of about six years, so that $2,000 was spaced out a little, but regardless it was a lot of money. That doesn't include the application fees I spent, nor the postage I bought, and it thankfully doesn't include the $1,500 worth of flights I took. I was lucky, the colleges paid for those.
I figured out exactly what I wanted! It took the entire process from start to finish, and I told several different schools I was interested in completely different majors throughout my applications, but by the end, I had a general idea of what I wanted.
I liked smaller schools- the "Liberal Arts College" (LAC) though there were exceptions. I wanted someplace with a moderate to liberal environment and a focus on international/global studies. I wanted the big perspective. I wanted to study Chinese. I wanted Art History and even Museum Studies. Anthropology would be great too!
I needed a helluva financial aid package. Most people do, when tuition is $53,000. My parents are divorced. My dad pays my mom who makes hardly anything on her own, and he has a lot of debt- the house which has his student loans debt thrown in, the cars he had to buy, he now has a new wife and step daughter, and he also has an apartment. He makes a pretty sweet salary if you're totally blind to the fact of how much debt he has.
I've been very angry with my dad on and off throughout high school- to the point where I tried to get him exempted from my financial aid as the non-custodial parent because he was going to throw my financial calculations out of wack (without my child support my mom has no way to pay for the house), and we would go ages without talking. Important things like "Hey, I'm married." were mentioned in passing. I was nigh determined to try and seperate my dad's money (that I didn't have) from my ability to pay for college. No dice.
Well okay, I applied to the School. It was my perfect school. They flew me out (twice!) I applied early decision. My financial aid package was enough that I could probably go, but not quite as much as I needed to avoid a hefty amount of debt at the end. No matter, it was perfect. The East Asian Studies department had lunch with me, I sat in on a Museum Studies class and impressed the Professor with my observations of Picasso's Les Demoiselles d'Avignon. I made a lot of friends. There was a professor whose specialty was East Asian art, and there was an Asian Studies reading room complete with changing display of art. Basically, if it could have gone right, it did. I was accepted. The dean of admissions wrote a congragulatory note on my acceptance letter. Acceptance rates were 31.6%. I beat out a ton of other kids. When I did poorly in Pre-calculus and had a freakout on my counselor, the admissions office responded with "Just pass the class. You're fine."
Goal? Accomplished.
Except the caveat.
Always the caveat.
My financial aid package wasn't set. My dad's 2009 tax return was sent- he made more than the previous year, but incurred more debt from having to replace his car, and a few other things. I delivered it in person. This was shortly after the "Oh hey, I'm married now" fiasco, and I anxiously waited for my new aid award. I got an ominous email saying my package had changed "drastically" their words, not mine. It wasn't for another few weeks that I got my new award letter. I'd already graduated, but there it was, the quick death of my future plans. Award? What award? I was being asked to pay over $40,000 a year. I didn't have that money. My dad didn't have that money. He called to appeal. He asked what my back up plan was.
I laughed nervously.
Now let me quote the same Dean of Admissions that wrote on my acceptance. The circumstance is different, but the context is the same:
“Last year, we rescinded an early decision offer after a student was kicked out of boarding school,’’ Ms. Merrill said. “It’s especially painful for the early-decision candidate, because they have no other options, and it’s often too late to apply anywhere else.’’
My appeals were denied. I wrote my admissions officer. I explained I'd have to withdraw my ED agreement if things didn't change. I had no back up plan. I didn't have $40,000. $20,000 I could try to pay. That I couldn't. The deadlines all passed. I had withdrawn my acceptances and my applications. She offered to speak to the Dean. The Dean spoke with Financial aid services. The story changed somewhere in between. First I was told that everyone's packages would be given some adjustments because the school over-budgeted. Then I was told it was solely me. That it was my dad's income. I asked why his debts were not being considered. I was told my rescindance was accepted, that my obligation to attend was removed. Then I was told all information was confidential. My parents were still sent parent of student guides. I'm still recieving Alumni Magazines and requests for donations.
I emailed one of the few schools that had accepted me before I received my ED acceptance. They said they were willing to take me. Lucky me, but I'll be honest, while I can afford them with loans, they don't have a major in chinese (just classes). I've never visited. They don't have a museum studies program, nor an Art History professor whose specialty is Asian Art. I don't know if they have anything I want besides being small and a "good" school.
Thus enters the true problem in all of this- the real conundrum of the supposedly middle class child.
I'm a really good student. The really good schools, public or private are equally expensive. I have no way of affording them. I have too much "income" to be considered needy. My dad's debt is nearly equal to his income, so despite the six figures, it's not all that impressive. The schools I can afford aren't as well known, aren't as well equiped, or aren't as specialized in what I want. To be sure, I have a slight expectation that I am "owed" something. And why not? I did everything right. I paid the fees for testing, I got good grades, I did the extracurriculars, and I wrote the essays. Why do all that for no reason? Good students are rewarded with acceptances after all. College tuition is a difficult game- the poorest students must be the best, because the best students get into the schools with the most need based aid, the rich students must hope they can afford tuition outright, or only apply to schools they can afford but may not have what they want, and the middle class are tossed somewhere in between, expected to take insane loans and pay tuition. Want to know how the housing bubble got so big? Why so many Americans are defaulting? They refinanced their houses to pay for college, took out second mortgages, because of schools that are "non-profit" but charge $40,000 a year or more. There's a bubble in Higher education, and it's yet to have burst.
But Caveat Emptor, of course. As someone who wants to go to Grad School, my problem is furthered.
My new school is still fairly good, and is known as a "College that changes lives" from the Loren Pope book. But it doesn't quite comprehensively have what I need or want from my education. Thus, the problem is this- the school I'm going to has the resources of money to help me do original research, but not necessarily all the classes I want to have on my application for Grad school. If I transfer, I'll have to transfer to a less rigorous or less known school (probably) in order to be able to afford it. I'll have the classes I want, but not the preparation for a Grad program.
I actually did a search for schools that matched my criteria- especially including the Chinese Major - and came up of course, with the same damn school that took away my aid. I know. I applied. I was there! I got accepted! I know it has exactly what I want!
I just can't afford the pricetag, so I'm making do with figuring out whether or not this other school will work for me, or not.
And that's all. :|
I'M ENDING WITH THIS: I'm having a bad week and I'm hyping myself up in circles and I need to take a chill pill a little. Lol. IN TERMS OF OPTIMISM: Things could be a LOT worse, and the school I am going to is working on instating a Chinese minor and so maybe things will work out there, I'm just being jittery because I'm packing and my flight is the 31st.
I'll feel better about this later, probably. I mean, I'm still bitter at college #1, but college #2 has done nothing but be awesome to me, excepting the fact that I have no roommate yet, and it's like christ, do I have to order one of those off of Amazon or something?