[Fic] Support
Title: Support
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Warnings: None, worksafe.
Rating: PG
Notes: For some reason I can't decide what to say about this, but... *thinks* It's basically just some of my thoughts about Nagayan's posts last week, and one possible reaction from Tuti. And it's short.
Comments are always greatly appreciated. ^_^
“So what happened?”
Takashi quirked an eyebrow at the man standing in front of him, and smiled out of the corner of his mouth.
“They were out of frappuccino mix? That’s why I’m empty-handed, anyway,” Takashi offered. It had been a few days since he’d talked to Tuti, so he figured the other man could have been referring to anything. He ignored the hint of concern in his friend’s voice because he knew that he could.
Tuti laughed, louder than Takashi figured he should be capable of so early in the morning.
“That’s not what I meant,” he grinned. “But thanks for the update.” He paused, watching Takashi. “They probably don’t expect many people to want them this early, you know?”
Takashi waved his hand dismissively, smiling. “I go there every day after the gym. It’s not unusual.”
“Every day?”
“Pretty much.”
”I thought you drank coffee in the morning.”
“I do. Before the gym.”
Tuti laughed. “Okay, fair enough.”
“So what did you mean?” Takashi eyed Tuti curiously, and then bent over to tie his laces. “You said that wasn’t what you meant, so what did you mean?”
“Oh, I… Ah…” Tuti ran his hand over his head. “I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m okay,” Takashi told him, sitting up straight.
“Really?”
“Really.” Then Takashi gave Tuti a sly smile. “Have you been reading my blog again?”
Tuti laughed. “Maybe?”
“And that doesn’t seem at all strange to you?”
“Nope. Should it?”
“I suppose not,” Takashi laughed. “Come on, we need to go.”
“Takashi.” Tuti stood up, and grabbed the other man’s arm. “Come here.”
“What? Why---ooof.”
Takashi closed his eyes. “Tuti…” He whispered the word against a warm chest. “What’s this for?”
“Do I need a reason to hug my best friend?”
Takashi chuckled, and the sound was muffled since Tuti was still holding him so close. “No, but…”
“Takashi, I was worried, okay?”
“Worried?”
“You didn’t show up to rehearsal, you didn’t return my calls, you went home without saying anything to anyone. I would have called the police if I hadn’t seen the picture you took!”
“Tuti, I-”
“Why won’t you let your friends take care of you sometimes?”
Takashi could feel his face flush a little as Tuti ruffled his hair, releasing him from his grip. “Not all the time. Just sometimes, okay?”
He swallowed past the lump in his throat, and blinked up at Tuti. “Okay,” he nodded.
Takashi hesitated for a moment before taking a step forward and pulling Tuti close to him again. He allowed himself to cling to his friend’s shirt for a moment as he sniffled a little.
“Thanks,” he whispered. “I would have said something before, but… You weren’t around. I didn’t-”
“I would have made a point to be around, if you has asked me to.”
“I didn’t want to bother you. You have a lot going on too. I couldn’t-”
“You could have, Takashi. I would have made time.”
“It’s not that. I know you would have, but…”
“What?”
“I didn’t want to worry you. You needed to focus on the show.”
“Look…” Tuti leaned back against the mirror. “I know what you’re getting at, but… Things like that, they can’t be helped sometimes. When you shut me out…” Tuti paused. “It worries me more, okay? I can always tell when something’s bothering you. And when you avoid me…” Tuti looked up, and Takashi was startled by how sad he looked before he shook his head, and smiled a little. “I just wish you wouldn’t,” he finished.
“I’m sorry,” Takashi told him honestly. He really didn’t know what else to say.
“You don’t have to be sorry; I understand. But I really want to…” He paused. “I just want to be there, if I can. That’s all. I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through anything alone.”
“I wasn’t ‘going through’ anything…”
Tuti laughed at Takashi’s sarcastic tone. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.” Takashi thought for a second. For some reason he couldn’t decide exactly what he was trying to say. “You know, I’m really grateful.” He paused. “Thank you. For thinking about me,” he finished.
Tuti shook his head. “Promise me you’ll talk to me next time?”
Takashi smiled a little. “I can’t promise something like that.”
“You can’t, or you don’t want to?”
“Both, okay?” Takashi paused, frowning. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just don’t like to make promises I might not be able to keep.” He allowed his eyes to meet Tuti’s just for a second. “Especially when it’s you.”
“Okay,” Tuti agreed after a moment, his voice quiet. He cleared his throat, and when he spoke again his voice was a little steadier. “You ready? Let’s go.”
Takashi watched Tuti’s smile. He felt how it warmed him deep inside, and he wondered for a second if maybe he could have made that promise just now. If maybe he should have.
He hadn’t realized it at the time either, but… He could have used that smile a few days ago, and this warmth. Next time, he told himself. If there was a next time…
Takashi just nodded though, feeling a smile spread across his face as he followed Tuti out of the room, and into the rehearsal hall.
***
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Warnings: None, worksafe.
Rating: PG
Notes: For some reason I can't decide what to say about this, but... *thinks* It's basically just some of my thoughts about Nagayan's posts last week, and one possible reaction from Tuti. And it's short.
Comments are always greatly appreciated. ^_^
“So what happened?”
Takashi quirked an eyebrow at the man standing in front of him, and smiled out of the corner of his mouth.
“They were out of frappuccino mix? That’s why I’m empty-handed, anyway,” Takashi offered. It had been a few days since he’d talked to Tuti, so he figured the other man could have been referring to anything. He ignored the hint of concern in his friend’s voice because he knew that he could.
Tuti laughed, louder than Takashi figured he should be capable of so early in the morning.
“That’s not what I meant,” he grinned. “But thanks for the update.” He paused, watching Takashi. “They probably don’t expect many people to want them this early, you know?”
Takashi waved his hand dismissively, smiling. “I go there every day after the gym. It’s not unusual.”
“Every day?”
“Pretty much.”
”I thought you drank coffee in the morning.”
“I do. Before the gym.”
Tuti laughed. “Okay, fair enough.”
“So what did you mean?” Takashi eyed Tuti curiously, and then bent over to tie his laces. “You said that wasn’t what you meant, so what did you mean?”
“Oh, I… Ah…” Tuti ran his hand over his head. “I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m okay,” Takashi told him, sitting up straight.
“Really?”
“Really.” Then Takashi gave Tuti a sly smile. “Have you been reading my blog again?”
Tuti laughed. “Maybe?”
“And that doesn’t seem at all strange to you?”
“Nope. Should it?”
“I suppose not,” Takashi laughed. “Come on, we need to go.”
“Takashi.” Tuti stood up, and grabbed the other man’s arm. “Come here.”
“What? Why---ooof.”
Takashi closed his eyes. “Tuti…” He whispered the word against a warm chest. “What’s this for?”
“Do I need a reason to hug my best friend?”
Takashi chuckled, and the sound was muffled since Tuti was still holding him so close. “No, but…”
“Takashi, I was worried, okay?”
“Worried?”
“You didn’t show up to rehearsal, you didn’t return my calls, you went home without saying anything to anyone. I would have called the police if I hadn’t seen the picture you took!”
“Tuti, I-”
“Why won’t you let your friends take care of you sometimes?”
Takashi could feel his face flush a little as Tuti ruffled his hair, releasing him from his grip. “Not all the time. Just sometimes, okay?”
He swallowed past the lump in his throat, and blinked up at Tuti. “Okay,” he nodded.
Takashi hesitated for a moment before taking a step forward and pulling Tuti close to him again. He allowed himself to cling to his friend’s shirt for a moment as he sniffled a little.
“Thanks,” he whispered. “I would have said something before, but… You weren’t around. I didn’t-”
“I would have made a point to be around, if you has asked me to.”
“I didn’t want to bother you. You have a lot going on too. I couldn’t-”
“You could have, Takashi. I would have made time.”
“It’s not that. I know you would have, but…”
“What?”
“I didn’t want to worry you. You needed to focus on the show.”
“Look…” Tuti leaned back against the mirror. “I know what you’re getting at, but… Things like that, they can’t be helped sometimes. When you shut me out…” Tuti paused. “It worries me more, okay? I can always tell when something’s bothering you. And when you avoid me…” Tuti looked up, and Takashi was startled by how sad he looked before he shook his head, and smiled a little. “I just wish you wouldn’t,” he finished.
“I’m sorry,” Takashi told him honestly. He really didn’t know what else to say.
“You don’t have to be sorry; I understand. But I really want to…” He paused. “I just want to be there, if I can. That’s all. I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through anything alone.”
“I wasn’t ‘going through’ anything…”
Tuti laughed at Takashi’s sarcastic tone. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.” Takashi thought for a second. For some reason he couldn’t decide exactly what he was trying to say. “You know, I’m really grateful.” He paused. “Thank you. For thinking about me,” he finished.
Tuti shook his head. “Promise me you’ll talk to me next time?”
Takashi smiled a little. “I can’t promise something like that.”
“You can’t, or you don’t want to?”
“Both, okay?” Takashi paused, frowning. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just don’t like to make promises I might not be able to keep.” He allowed his eyes to meet Tuti’s just for a second. “Especially when it’s you.”
“Okay,” Tuti agreed after a moment, his voice quiet. He cleared his throat, and when he spoke again his voice was a little steadier. “You ready? Let’s go.”
Takashi watched Tuti’s smile. He felt how it warmed him deep inside, and he wondered for a second if maybe he could have made that promise just now. If maybe he should have.
He hadn’t realized it at the time either, but… He could have used that smile a few days ago, and this warmth. Next time, he told himself. If there was a next time…
Takashi just nodded though, feeling a smile spread across his face as he followed Tuti out of the room, and into the rehearsal hall.
***