Challenge entry!
Another fic entry! WOOHOO!
Title: Enough
Rating: PG-13 (for the most part, a bit R-ish in one section >_>)
Tuti has never really liked anniversaries.
His parents hadn’t exactly been your typical diamonds-and-gold romantic types, and as far as his own relationships are concerned, well, anniversaries (and birthdays, and Valentine’s Day, and Christmas and any other holiday he can think of) always seem to boil down to expectations, and he generally manages to fall short on those, in one way or another, despite his best efforts.
There is, of course, one very notable exception to this rule.
Because with Takashi, Tuti actually finds himself rising to the occasion, more often than not.
He plans outings that resemble actual dates, and thinks about things like which stores carry Takashi’s favorite brand of chocolate, or which after-dinner establishments offer the widest variety of desserts. He remembers things that are important to Takashi too - details, moments, conversations, and, well, anniversaries.
In the end, Tuti figures that the commitment - entirely not scary with Takashi, at least not at this stage of the game - and the genuine desire to meet Takashi’s expectations win out over his shortcomings. Most of the time.
Unfortunately, Tuti is not sure that tonight will be one of those times.
**
He wants to make tonight special, he really, really does, but…
He’s tired.
Tonight is one of those nights where all of his insecurities, about his career, about his life, about Takashi, that lingering feeling deep inside of him that keeps asking what if this is too hard and what if this can’t last - everything seems to have risen to the surface.
He feels worn out - exhausted, really. He’s tired of the rat-race that is their lives, tired of his schedule, which never leaves enough time anymore for planning things like romantic evenings out, or even just regular evenings out, tired of everything.
There’s something about being away from Takashi for so long that grates on him, something about not seeing Takashi’s face for days on end, sometimes not even hearing his voice that causes Tuti’s nerves to stretch and thin to the point where he feels like he really might snap in two if he’s not careful. Fortunately, this is usually right around the time when Takashi magically shows up on his doorstep, with a warm smile, and an even warmer embrace, as if he’s read Tuti’s mind, and his thoughts, and his heart all at the same time.
They’ve both spent more time than usual away from Tokyo these past few months though, so moments like this have become few and far between -it was sheer luck that they’d both had the evening free tonight, without having to move appointments and shift commitments around to make it that way.
Takashi had told him, fairly convincingly, that tonight didn’t need to be a huge deal, or even a celebration, that just having the night to themselves was enough, but still, Tuti had wanted to do something. So he’d made the reservations, had carefully chosen this restaurant because he knew it was one of Takashi’s favorites - hell, he’d even chosen the menu, and the wine (and okay that last one is probably more for him than Takashi) - he’s done all of this, but somehow, suddenly, it seems like it’s nowhere near enough.
He’s not sure if a month apart, then two days off together, and then a month and a half of rehearsals that leave both of them exhausted at the end of the day, with only enough time for a few scattered odd-hour meals here and there, and then having to wait two weeks for another day off, is really how it should be after so long. Even though there’s part of him that knows that even an hour, that even five minutes with Takashi would be enough, no matter how long they had to wait for it, sometimes he’s just tired.
It’s really hard for him to believe sometimes that it’s been so long too - six years - and yet Tuti barely remembers his life before Takashi. He’s absolutely sure that the changes in his life would be undeniable, had things gone differently for them. If their paths had never crossed.
There’d have been more drinking, probably, less coming home late, and more coming home really, really early, and probably a few women too, though the part of him that was capable of seeing that path as a possibility had been fading away for a while now.
Takashi had brightened up everything for Tuti, when he’d come into the picture - his life, his career, and on days when he’s feeling particularly introspective, he’d go so far as to say that Takashi had brightened up parts of himself too, areas buried so deep inside of him that he hadn’t even been sure they’d existed before Takashi had come along.
So Tuti really has no excuse for feeling this way now.
They did what they could, saw each other when it was possible, and even sometimes when it wasn’t, because the time they spent together was so good, and so necessary that they were willing to make a few sacrifices for it. There’s no reason why he should let a couple of busy months-okay, maybe it had been a couple of busy years, but still-make him question… what? Their commitment? There’s no question of that. Takashi is nothing if not loyal, and Tuti trusts him, completely, without even a shadow of doubt, and Tuti hasn’t so much as looked twice at anyone else since they’d met.
So he’s jealous, maybe? It isn’t always fun, sharing Takashi, after all. With his fans, with his managers, with their friends, with their fellow castmates. But he’d gotten over all of that years ago. Takashi isn’t himself without all of that, and Tuti wouldn’t want him to give any of it up, not in a million years. Besides, Tuti has his own share of commitments too. And there’s never any way to quantify things like this anyway. It is what it is.
In the end, Tuti needs Takashi, and vice versa, and they’ve been over the whole is it worth it and maybe we really don’t have time for this arguments over and over and over again, and always arrive at the same place. That they’re better together.
Everything is better.
**
Tuti is lost in his thoughts, and on his third glass of wine before Takashi finally arrives, breathless and a little disheveled, and it’s somehow more obvious that he’s rushed to get here with his hair short like this, sticking up in weird places where the styling gel has long since stopped holding, than it ever was when his hair was long, curling messily over his ears, practically reaching his shoulders.
Takashi practically throws himself into the chair across from Tuti, shoving a rather impressive collection of bags under the table, bumping them against Tuti’s knees as he takes a deep breath, and smiles across the table at him.
“I’m really, really sorry. I know I’m late.”
Tuti dismisses the apology with a quick wave of his hand, and grins. He feels himself relaxing immediately.
“It’s fine. I think I probably owe you one, anyway.”
Takashi’s smile widens. “One?”
“Okay, maybe two? Three?”
Takashi laughs and Tuti picks up the bottle of wine from the table to pour him a glass.
“Geez,” Takashi says, eyeing the level of wine left in the bottle with interest. “I wasn’t that late, was I? Good thing I got here when I did or there wouldn’t be anything left.”
“Well... It’s been kind of a long day.”
Takashi frowns, eyes crunching up under his glasses. “Yeah? What happened?”
Tuti feels his chest tighten a little. Takashi’s concern takes him off-guard, and he’s not surprised to see the other man leaning in across the table, and shifting forward--the soft yellow light from the hanging lamp above them casts a warm glow on his features, which are filled with thoughtful consideration. Tuti sighs, feeling a little helpless, with Takashi looking at him so seriously like this.
“Nothing. Nothing happened. I just…” Tuti pauses, taking in Takashi’s carefully planned outfit (button-down shirt, hooded vest, jacket, loose tie, all perfectly mismatched) in for the first time since he arrived, and wonders idly if this is part of the reason why he was late. He smiles a little. “I missed you, that’s all.”
Takashi smiles back. “Right. But that’s not why it was a long day.”
“How can you be so sure of that?”
“Tuti.”
Tuti sighs. “Never mind,” he tells Takashi, and watches the other man lower his eyes at him. “This is supposed to be our anniversary, right? We’re supposed to be celebrating.”
Takashi studies him. Tuti knows that a year ago, he would have pushed a little more-a few years ago, he wouldn’t have let Tuti take another sip of wine before he knew every detail about whatever scene it was that hadn’t gone as planned, or whatever lingering frustration about the director’s style was making each rehearsal seem three times longer than it really was. But tonight, Takashi just watches Tuti take a healthy sip of wine, and then nods, understanding.
“Later?” he asks, his eyebrows curving upwards slightly.
“Maybe.”
Takashi’s smile softens a little as he nods again. Then his eyes fall to the sleeve of his jacket, which Tuti now realizes must be new, since he doesn’t recognize it. “So I have that event next Thursday, for the movie, and this is what I was thinking about wearing…”
“You do realize that you’ve been making fun of my lack of fashion sense as long as I’ve known you?”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t trust your opinion.”
“Right.” Tuti grins, and examines his boyfriend more closely. “It’s very you.” As much as plaid and velvet and pinstripes can be, Tuti adds, to himself. “I like the cut.”
“Me too. Makes me feel… I don’t know… sexy, I think.”
Takashi beams, and Tuti feels his cheeks warm a little, something he blames on Takashi’s infectious enthusiasm, and maybe a little on the wine, but…
“I really missed you too,” Takashi is telling him, and the warmth in his voice makes Tuti’s chest ache a little. “I’m glad we could do this tonight.”
Tuti nods. “I thought I was going to have to fight off Tamacchi in order to get you alone for more than an hour.”
Takashi shakes his head, and his dark eyes flicker for a moment. “Not tonight,” he says softly. Then he takes a sip of wine, and grins across the table. “I’m starving, let’s order.”
**
Tuti realizes later, his cheek buried in Takashi’s chest, breathing him in, letting his scent and his warmth fill his lungs, as Takashi’s fingers bury themselves deep into his hair, pulling him even closer, that this is the kind of time with Takashi he’s been really, really missing.
All of it, from dinner, which had been intimate, and relaxing, and kind of like coming home-the easy conversation, and comfortable silences-to this, which is intimate in an entirely different way, and which is absolutely like coming home.
Every single time he feels Takashi’s body tremble underneath him, in that moment when he’s buried inside of him, so deep that he can’t get even a millimeter closer, because any closer and they’d be the same person, they’d be sharing the same body, the same skin, Tuti knows that there’s nowhere else he ever wants to be. He wants Takashi so much, always-wants this, wants to be this close to him all the time, so much that he’s sure his heart will burst, it’s so full, but somehow it never does.
Somehow they always make it to this moment, where everything turns warm, and close and wet and messy and tangled, and both of them are breathing heavily, sometimes with Takashi dropping wet, sloppy kisses onto his neck, or Tuti, breathing Takashi’s name into his ear, or onto the top of his head, feeling the other man’s hair tickle his lips until Takashi squirms and turns over and meets his eyes. Tuti knows, has always known, that this is it, that Takashi is the one, the one who’s changed him, and changed everything, and that whether it’s been 6 minutes, or 6 months or 6 years, it’s all still here, the excitement and the curiosity and the necessity. It hasn’t faded or dulled at all like he was afraid it would, once.
“I’ve missed you so much lately,” Tuti whispers, eventually, after everything has gone completely still, and they’re lying on their backs in the almost-complete darkness, shoulders pressed together in Takashi’s bed, which has long since stopped feeling cramped, and will forever be, in Tuti’s opinion, the perfect size.
Takashi mumbles something that sounds like me too against Tuti’s shoulder, as he flops an arm over Tuti’s chest, and a leg over his thigh, possessive and lazy at the same time.
“Tonight was perfect,” Takashi says after a moment. Then he chuckles. “I’m sure you were worried.”
Tuti laughs. “Of course I was worried.”
Takashi sighs. “Even after I told you that anything was fine. That we could order in and spend the entire night in our pajamas in front of the TV. Even though I was the one that was late this time.” Takashi turns over, pushes back on his elbows so that he’s looking down at Tuti, and smiles, and Tuti is torn between staring at his lips, and allowing his eyes to focus on the miles and miles of skin that make up the well-defined muscles of the other man’s chest. “You’re hopeless, Yuuichi.”
“I know.”
“You’re worn out,” Takashi continues, a slight edge to his voice now. “You’re letting this show run you ragged.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“I’m used to it.”
“And I’m not?”
“Either that, or it’s too much, this time.” Takashi gives him a pointed stare. “You have to know your limits.”
Tuti sighs. “Yeah, you’ve got me there.” He pauses. “It’s harder when you’re not around.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” Takashi adds with a sigh.
“I start getting jealous over stupid things.”
Takashi blinks, thinking. “Tamacchi?”
“Of course. He sees you twice as much as I do these days. More than that, even.”
“I know.” Takashi sighs, a little sadly. Then he smiles. “If I told him you said that, you know you’d never hear the end of it.”
Tuti’s eyes widen. “You wouldn’t.”
“I might. If I was provoked.”
“Well, I’d have to be really stupid to do that.”
Takashi kisses him then, unexpectedly-their noses bump together and their teeth clatter against each other, just a little, before Takashi’s lips part and things fall into a familiar rhythm, an easy give and take, with Takashi taking just a little more than he’s giving, but Tuti doesn’t mind-he loves Takashi like this, pressed up against his mouth, determined and focused and familiar.
They pull away after a moment, and Takashi stares at him. “You know…” and Tuti is surprised to hear the slight catch in Takashi’s voice.
“I wouldn’t give up a second of these past six years, not for anything. Even those first few months, when we barely talked, and I used to hide from you in the prop room with my script because I was so worried I’d screw something up and it would all be over before it even started. Even those first few years, when we fought all the time, and even… I wouldn’t even give up that stupid idea we had of not talking to each other for six months, even though that was a really, really horrible idea, I just-I can’t believe it’s been so long. I never would have thought we’d still be here, but… All this time we’ve spent together, it’s really, really important to me.”
Tuti just stares at him, probably a little wide-eyed for a moment before smiles, trying not to look like he feels, which is as if his heart has been completely wrenched from his chest, wrung out and twisted around and squeezed so tight it could burst.
“I never knew you were hiding from me,” he says after a moment, grinning. “I just thought you were looking for somewhere quiet to read over your lines.”
“Well, I was…”
Tuti laughs. “Point taken.”
“And thank you,” he adds, after a moment. “I think I needed that.”
“I thought you might.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That I can tell when you’re having a bad day.”
“Was I that obvious?”
“You’re completely transparent, Tuti. Always have been.”
“I am not,” Tuti says, glaring a little.
Takashi raises his eyebrows. “I could take back all those nice things I just said, you know.”
Tuti gasps. “You wouldn’t.”
“You’re right, I wouldn’t. “ Takashi smiles, a little shyly. “I worked far too hard to get all of that out to let it go to waste.”
“Yeah, right.”
Takashi arches an eyebrow. “My performance was that convincing?”
Tuti’s cheeks start to warm a little. “Really? You planned to say all that?”
“I plan everything, Tuti.”
“What about me having a bad day?”
“That just made it a little easier.”
“You really scare me, sometimes, you know that.”
Takashi rolls his eyes.
Tuti smiles. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You know, it’s pretty sad when out of the two of us, I’m the romantic.”
The glare in Takashi’s eyes has turned a little dangerous. “Tuti, you should really shut up right now.”
“Hai, hai~”
“I mean it.”
He doesn’t though, not really, because sure, Takashi’s not a typical romantic, and neither is Tuti, but it doesn’t really matter, because after six years, he’s sure they’ve both stopped caring about things like this, and either way, what Takashi said tonight had felt pretty special, Tuti’s sure of that much.
And of course the best way Tuti can see to convey his gratitude is to pull Takashi into a kiss, to take him by surprise this time, and hear his muffled huff of confusion as his lips are pressed against Tuti’s, noses bumping again, teeth knocking, but unsurprisingly, as usual, Takashi catches on to Tuti’s rhythm pretty quickly.
They pause to catch their breath, and pull away a little, and when Tuti blinks, all he can see is the deep brown of Takashi’s eyes.
“I’m sorry I’m not always here,” Takashi says, his breath warm against Tuti’s lips. “I’m sorry you had a bad day. I’m sorry--”
Tuti is trying to shake his head, and press his lips to Takashi’s, and pull the other man closer at the same time, and the end result is a little awkward, but he hopes he gets his point across, because he can’t think of anything to say except I’m sorry too, which isn’t exactly what he means, but he thinks Takashi probably understands anyway.
That what they have might not be perfect, could never be perfect unless all they did was this right now, no careers, no managers, just the two of them, like this, but that it was without a doubt enough. More than enough, really.
“I don’t ever want this to stop,” Tuti says, surprising himself by the emotion in his voice. “I don’t mean,” he chuckles a little. “Of course I love going to bed with you, but I just mean… You. This.”
“Us,” Takashi supplies, softly.
“Yeah, us. I don’t ever want it to stop.”
Takashi just stares at him for a moment, and his expression is unreadable.
“I mean it,” Tuti says, just in case that unreadable expression means that Takashi somehow doubts his sincerity.
Takashi stares at him for another long moment, before he smiles a little, nodding. “Okay.”
And before Tuti knows it, he’s agreeing too, and he can’t help but feel as if they’ve both made some kind of unexpected confession.
And then Takashi asks, You’re sure?, and his voice is a little unsteady, and Tuti realizes that his confession wasn’t unexpected at all, but has probably been a long time coming.
“You’re sure this is enough for you?” Takashi continues, and as soon as the words leave his mouth Tuti knows, if he didn’t already, can feel it in his chest and his stomach, all the way down to his bones.
He wants to say something important, something perfectly romantic like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, or maybe something even more sappy, but instead, all that comes out is a mumbled of course before he’s pressing his lips to Takashi’s and losing himself in the familiar sensation, as every nerve in his body stands at high alert, suddenly hyper-aware of Takashi’s tongue as it moves inside his mouth, of everything, really.
**
“How do you do that?” Tuti asks after they’ve completely exhausted themselves all over again, and are lying on their backs, sweaty and out of breath again, except now it’s very much the middle of the night, and he’s moved beyond the point of being tired, and is starting to feel a little delirious, really. His finger traces lazy circles along Takashi’s arm shoulder, and down his chest. “I’ve always wanted to know.”
Takashi smiles a little. “Do what?”
“Read my mind like that.”
“I told you, you’re completely transparent.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Takashi nods. “But also, I think we just… think alike. If you’re worried about something, chances are it’s crossed my mind pretty recently too.”
Tuti blinks. He somehow hadn’t considered this.
“I’m tired too, you know?” Takashi says softly.
Tuti nods, feeling such a surge of affection that he can’t help but pull Takashi close. “Thank you. For always knowing what to say,” he clarifies, before Takashi can ask him what he means.
“I do my best,” Takashi says, smiling.
And Tuti knows that, more than anything, this is absolutely true. And that it’s absolutely enough to make him the happiest person on earth, possibly for the rest of his life.
And don't forget to check out the previous fic entries if you're behind! We've got quite a few now!!
Title: Enough
Rating: PG-13 (for the most part, a bit R-ish in one section >_>)
Tuti has never really liked anniversaries.
His parents hadn’t exactly been your typical diamonds-and-gold romantic types, and as far as his own relationships are concerned, well, anniversaries (and birthdays, and Valentine’s Day, and Christmas and any other holiday he can think of) always seem to boil down to expectations, and he generally manages to fall short on those, in one way or another, despite his best efforts.
There is, of course, one very notable exception to this rule.
Because with Takashi, Tuti actually finds himself rising to the occasion, more often than not.
He plans outings that resemble actual dates, and thinks about things like which stores carry Takashi’s favorite brand of chocolate, or which after-dinner establishments offer the widest variety of desserts. He remembers things that are important to Takashi too - details, moments, conversations, and, well, anniversaries.
In the end, Tuti figures that the commitment - entirely not scary with Takashi, at least not at this stage of the game - and the genuine desire to meet Takashi’s expectations win out over his shortcomings. Most of the time.
Unfortunately, Tuti is not sure that tonight will be one of those times.
**
He wants to make tonight special, he really, really does, but…
He’s tired.
Tonight is one of those nights where all of his insecurities, about his career, about his life, about Takashi, that lingering feeling deep inside of him that keeps asking what if this is too hard and what if this can’t last - everything seems to have risen to the surface.
He feels worn out - exhausted, really. He’s tired of the rat-race that is their lives, tired of his schedule, which never leaves enough time anymore for planning things like romantic evenings out, or even just regular evenings out, tired of everything.
There’s something about being away from Takashi for so long that grates on him, something about not seeing Takashi’s face for days on end, sometimes not even hearing his voice that causes Tuti’s nerves to stretch and thin to the point where he feels like he really might snap in two if he’s not careful. Fortunately, this is usually right around the time when Takashi magically shows up on his doorstep, with a warm smile, and an even warmer embrace, as if he’s read Tuti’s mind, and his thoughts, and his heart all at the same time.
They’ve both spent more time than usual away from Tokyo these past few months though, so moments like this have become few and far between -it was sheer luck that they’d both had the evening free tonight, without having to move appointments and shift commitments around to make it that way.
Takashi had told him, fairly convincingly, that tonight didn’t need to be a huge deal, or even a celebration, that just having the night to themselves was enough, but still, Tuti had wanted to do something. So he’d made the reservations, had carefully chosen this restaurant because he knew it was one of Takashi’s favorites - hell, he’d even chosen the menu, and the wine (and okay that last one is probably more for him than Takashi) - he’s done all of this, but somehow, suddenly, it seems like it’s nowhere near enough.
He’s not sure if a month apart, then two days off together, and then a month and a half of rehearsals that leave both of them exhausted at the end of the day, with only enough time for a few scattered odd-hour meals here and there, and then having to wait two weeks for another day off, is really how it should be after so long. Even though there’s part of him that knows that even an hour, that even five minutes with Takashi would be enough, no matter how long they had to wait for it, sometimes he’s just tired.
It’s really hard for him to believe sometimes that it’s been so long too - six years - and yet Tuti barely remembers his life before Takashi. He’s absolutely sure that the changes in his life would be undeniable, had things gone differently for them. If their paths had never crossed.
There’d have been more drinking, probably, less coming home late, and more coming home really, really early, and probably a few women too, though the part of him that was capable of seeing that path as a possibility had been fading away for a while now.
Takashi had brightened up everything for Tuti, when he’d come into the picture - his life, his career, and on days when he’s feeling particularly introspective, he’d go so far as to say that Takashi had brightened up parts of himself too, areas buried so deep inside of him that he hadn’t even been sure they’d existed before Takashi had come along.
So Tuti really has no excuse for feeling this way now.
They did what they could, saw each other when it was possible, and even sometimes when it wasn’t, because the time they spent together was so good, and so necessary that they were willing to make a few sacrifices for it. There’s no reason why he should let a couple of busy months-okay, maybe it had been a couple of busy years, but still-make him question… what? Their commitment? There’s no question of that. Takashi is nothing if not loyal, and Tuti trusts him, completely, without even a shadow of doubt, and Tuti hasn’t so much as looked twice at anyone else since they’d met.
So he’s jealous, maybe? It isn’t always fun, sharing Takashi, after all. With his fans, with his managers, with their friends, with their fellow castmates. But he’d gotten over all of that years ago. Takashi isn’t himself without all of that, and Tuti wouldn’t want him to give any of it up, not in a million years. Besides, Tuti has his own share of commitments too. And there’s never any way to quantify things like this anyway. It is what it is.
In the end, Tuti needs Takashi, and vice versa, and they’ve been over the whole is it worth it and maybe we really don’t have time for this arguments over and over and over again, and always arrive at the same place. That they’re better together.
Everything is better.
**
Tuti is lost in his thoughts, and on his third glass of wine before Takashi finally arrives, breathless and a little disheveled, and it’s somehow more obvious that he’s rushed to get here with his hair short like this, sticking up in weird places where the styling gel has long since stopped holding, than it ever was when his hair was long, curling messily over his ears, practically reaching his shoulders.
Takashi practically throws himself into the chair across from Tuti, shoving a rather impressive collection of bags under the table, bumping them against Tuti’s knees as he takes a deep breath, and smiles across the table at him.
“I’m really, really sorry. I know I’m late.”
Tuti dismisses the apology with a quick wave of his hand, and grins. He feels himself relaxing immediately.
“It’s fine. I think I probably owe you one, anyway.”
Takashi’s smile widens. “One?”
“Okay, maybe two? Three?”
Takashi laughs and Tuti picks up the bottle of wine from the table to pour him a glass.
“Geez,” Takashi says, eyeing the level of wine left in the bottle with interest. “I wasn’t that late, was I? Good thing I got here when I did or there wouldn’t be anything left.”
“Well... It’s been kind of a long day.”
Takashi frowns, eyes crunching up under his glasses. “Yeah? What happened?”
Tuti feels his chest tighten a little. Takashi’s concern takes him off-guard, and he’s not surprised to see the other man leaning in across the table, and shifting forward--the soft yellow light from the hanging lamp above them casts a warm glow on his features, which are filled with thoughtful consideration. Tuti sighs, feeling a little helpless, with Takashi looking at him so seriously like this.
“Nothing. Nothing happened. I just…” Tuti pauses, taking in Takashi’s carefully planned outfit (button-down shirt, hooded vest, jacket, loose tie, all perfectly mismatched) in for the first time since he arrived, and wonders idly if this is part of the reason why he was late. He smiles a little. “I missed you, that’s all.”
Takashi smiles back. “Right. But that’s not why it was a long day.”
“How can you be so sure of that?”
“Tuti.”
Tuti sighs. “Never mind,” he tells Takashi, and watches the other man lower his eyes at him. “This is supposed to be our anniversary, right? We’re supposed to be celebrating.”
Takashi studies him. Tuti knows that a year ago, he would have pushed a little more-a few years ago, he wouldn’t have let Tuti take another sip of wine before he knew every detail about whatever scene it was that hadn’t gone as planned, or whatever lingering frustration about the director’s style was making each rehearsal seem three times longer than it really was. But tonight, Takashi just watches Tuti take a healthy sip of wine, and then nods, understanding.
“Later?” he asks, his eyebrows curving upwards slightly.
“Maybe.”
Takashi’s smile softens a little as he nods again. Then his eyes fall to the sleeve of his jacket, which Tuti now realizes must be new, since he doesn’t recognize it. “So I have that event next Thursday, for the movie, and this is what I was thinking about wearing…”
“You do realize that you’ve been making fun of my lack of fashion sense as long as I’ve known you?”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t trust your opinion.”
“Right.” Tuti grins, and examines his boyfriend more closely. “It’s very you.” As much as plaid and velvet and pinstripes can be, Tuti adds, to himself. “I like the cut.”
“Me too. Makes me feel… I don’t know… sexy, I think.”
Takashi beams, and Tuti feels his cheeks warm a little, something he blames on Takashi’s infectious enthusiasm, and maybe a little on the wine, but…
“I really missed you too,” Takashi is telling him, and the warmth in his voice makes Tuti’s chest ache a little. “I’m glad we could do this tonight.”
Tuti nods. “I thought I was going to have to fight off Tamacchi in order to get you alone for more than an hour.”
Takashi shakes his head, and his dark eyes flicker for a moment. “Not tonight,” he says softly. Then he takes a sip of wine, and grins across the table. “I’m starving, let’s order.”
**
Tuti realizes later, his cheek buried in Takashi’s chest, breathing him in, letting his scent and his warmth fill his lungs, as Takashi’s fingers bury themselves deep into his hair, pulling him even closer, that this is the kind of time with Takashi he’s been really, really missing.
All of it, from dinner, which had been intimate, and relaxing, and kind of like coming home-the easy conversation, and comfortable silences-to this, which is intimate in an entirely different way, and which is absolutely like coming home.
Every single time he feels Takashi’s body tremble underneath him, in that moment when he’s buried inside of him, so deep that he can’t get even a millimeter closer, because any closer and they’d be the same person, they’d be sharing the same body, the same skin, Tuti knows that there’s nowhere else he ever wants to be. He wants Takashi so much, always-wants this, wants to be this close to him all the time, so much that he’s sure his heart will burst, it’s so full, but somehow it never does.
Somehow they always make it to this moment, where everything turns warm, and close and wet and messy and tangled, and both of them are breathing heavily, sometimes with Takashi dropping wet, sloppy kisses onto his neck, or Tuti, breathing Takashi’s name into his ear, or onto the top of his head, feeling the other man’s hair tickle his lips until Takashi squirms and turns over and meets his eyes. Tuti knows, has always known, that this is it, that Takashi is the one, the one who’s changed him, and changed everything, and that whether it’s been 6 minutes, or 6 months or 6 years, it’s all still here, the excitement and the curiosity and the necessity. It hasn’t faded or dulled at all like he was afraid it would, once.
“I’ve missed you so much lately,” Tuti whispers, eventually, after everything has gone completely still, and they’re lying on their backs in the almost-complete darkness, shoulders pressed together in Takashi’s bed, which has long since stopped feeling cramped, and will forever be, in Tuti’s opinion, the perfect size.
Takashi mumbles something that sounds like me too against Tuti’s shoulder, as he flops an arm over Tuti’s chest, and a leg over his thigh, possessive and lazy at the same time.
“Tonight was perfect,” Takashi says after a moment. Then he chuckles. “I’m sure you were worried.”
Tuti laughs. “Of course I was worried.”
Takashi sighs. “Even after I told you that anything was fine. That we could order in and spend the entire night in our pajamas in front of the TV. Even though I was the one that was late this time.” Takashi turns over, pushes back on his elbows so that he’s looking down at Tuti, and smiles, and Tuti is torn between staring at his lips, and allowing his eyes to focus on the miles and miles of skin that make up the well-defined muscles of the other man’s chest. “You’re hopeless, Yuuichi.”
“I know.”
“You’re worn out,” Takashi continues, a slight edge to his voice now. “You’re letting this show run you ragged.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“I’m used to it.”
“And I’m not?”
“Either that, or it’s too much, this time.” Takashi gives him a pointed stare. “You have to know your limits.”
Tuti sighs. “Yeah, you’ve got me there.” He pauses. “It’s harder when you’re not around.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” Takashi adds with a sigh.
“I start getting jealous over stupid things.”
Takashi blinks, thinking. “Tamacchi?”
“Of course. He sees you twice as much as I do these days. More than that, even.”
“I know.” Takashi sighs, a little sadly. Then he smiles. “If I told him you said that, you know you’d never hear the end of it.”
Tuti’s eyes widen. “You wouldn’t.”
“I might. If I was provoked.”
“Well, I’d have to be really stupid to do that.”
Takashi kisses him then, unexpectedly-their noses bump together and their teeth clatter against each other, just a little, before Takashi’s lips part and things fall into a familiar rhythm, an easy give and take, with Takashi taking just a little more than he’s giving, but Tuti doesn’t mind-he loves Takashi like this, pressed up against his mouth, determined and focused and familiar.
They pull away after a moment, and Takashi stares at him. “You know…” and Tuti is surprised to hear the slight catch in Takashi’s voice.
“I wouldn’t give up a second of these past six years, not for anything. Even those first few months, when we barely talked, and I used to hide from you in the prop room with my script because I was so worried I’d screw something up and it would all be over before it even started. Even those first few years, when we fought all the time, and even… I wouldn’t even give up that stupid idea we had of not talking to each other for six months, even though that was a really, really horrible idea, I just-I can’t believe it’s been so long. I never would have thought we’d still be here, but… All this time we’ve spent together, it’s really, really important to me.”
Tuti just stares at him, probably a little wide-eyed for a moment before smiles, trying not to look like he feels, which is as if his heart has been completely wrenched from his chest, wrung out and twisted around and squeezed so tight it could burst.
“I never knew you were hiding from me,” he says after a moment, grinning. “I just thought you were looking for somewhere quiet to read over your lines.”
“Well, I was…”
Tuti laughs. “Point taken.”
“And thank you,” he adds, after a moment. “I think I needed that.”
“I thought you might.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That I can tell when you’re having a bad day.”
“Was I that obvious?”
“You’re completely transparent, Tuti. Always have been.”
“I am not,” Tuti says, glaring a little.
Takashi raises his eyebrows. “I could take back all those nice things I just said, you know.”
Tuti gasps. “You wouldn’t.”
“You’re right, I wouldn’t. “ Takashi smiles, a little shyly. “I worked far too hard to get all of that out to let it go to waste.”
“Yeah, right.”
Takashi arches an eyebrow. “My performance was that convincing?”
Tuti’s cheeks start to warm a little. “Really? You planned to say all that?”
“I plan everything, Tuti.”
“What about me having a bad day?”
“That just made it a little easier.”
“You really scare me, sometimes, you know that.”
Takashi rolls his eyes.
Tuti smiles. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You know, it’s pretty sad when out of the two of us, I’m the romantic.”
The glare in Takashi’s eyes has turned a little dangerous. “Tuti, you should really shut up right now.”
“Hai, hai~”
“I mean it.”
He doesn’t though, not really, because sure, Takashi’s not a typical romantic, and neither is Tuti, but it doesn’t really matter, because after six years, he’s sure they’ve both stopped caring about things like this, and either way, what Takashi said tonight had felt pretty special, Tuti’s sure of that much.
And of course the best way Tuti can see to convey his gratitude is to pull Takashi into a kiss, to take him by surprise this time, and hear his muffled huff of confusion as his lips are pressed against Tuti’s, noses bumping again, teeth knocking, but unsurprisingly, as usual, Takashi catches on to Tuti’s rhythm pretty quickly.
They pause to catch their breath, and pull away a little, and when Tuti blinks, all he can see is the deep brown of Takashi’s eyes.
“I’m sorry I’m not always here,” Takashi says, his breath warm against Tuti’s lips. “I’m sorry you had a bad day. I’m sorry--”
Tuti is trying to shake his head, and press his lips to Takashi’s, and pull the other man closer at the same time, and the end result is a little awkward, but he hopes he gets his point across, because he can’t think of anything to say except I’m sorry too, which isn’t exactly what he means, but he thinks Takashi probably understands anyway.
That what they have might not be perfect, could never be perfect unless all they did was this right now, no careers, no managers, just the two of them, like this, but that it was without a doubt enough. More than enough, really.
“I don’t ever want this to stop,” Tuti says, surprising himself by the emotion in his voice. “I don’t mean,” he chuckles a little. “Of course I love going to bed with you, but I just mean… You. This.”
“Us,” Takashi supplies, softly.
“Yeah, us. I don’t ever want it to stop.”
Takashi just stares at him for a moment, and his expression is unreadable.
“I mean it,” Tuti says, just in case that unreadable expression means that Takashi somehow doubts his sincerity.
Takashi stares at him for another long moment, before he smiles a little, nodding. “Okay.”
And before Tuti knows it, he’s agreeing too, and he can’t help but feel as if they’ve both made some kind of unexpected confession.
And then Takashi asks, You’re sure?, and his voice is a little unsteady, and Tuti realizes that his confession wasn’t unexpected at all, but has probably been a long time coming.
“You’re sure this is enough for you?” Takashi continues, and as soon as the words leave his mouth Tuti knows, if he didn’t already, can feel it in his chest and his stomach, all the way down to his bones.
He wants to say something important, something perfectly romantic like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, or maybe something even more sappy, but instead, all that comes out is a mumbled of course before he’s pressing his lips to Takashi’s and losing himself in the familiar sensation, as every nerve in his body stands at high alert, suddenly hyper-aware of Takashi’s tongue as it moves inside his mouth, of everything, really.
**
“How do you do that?” Tuti asks after they’ve completely exhausted themselves all over again, and are lying on their backs, sweaty and out of breath again, except now it’s very much the middle of the night, and he’s moved beyond the point of being tired, and is starting to feel a little delirious, really. His finger traces lazy circles along Takashi’s arm shoulder, and down his chest. “I’ve always wanted to know.”
Takashi smiles a little. “Do what?”
“Read my mind like that.”
“I told you, you’re completely transparent.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Takashi nods. “But also, I think we just… think alike. If you’re worried about something, chances are it’s crossed my mind pretty recently too.”
Tuti blinks. He somehow hadn’t considered this.
“I’m tired too, you know?” Takashi says softly.
Tuti nods, feeling such a surge of affection that he can’t help but pull Takashi close. “Thank you. For always knowing what to say,” he clarifies, before Takashi can ask him what he means.
“I do my best,” Takashi says, smiling.
And Tuti knows that, more than anything, this is absolutely true. And that it’s absolutely enough to make him the happiest person on earth, possibly for the rest of his life.
And don't forget to check out the previous fic entries if you're behind! We've got quite a few now!!