Zzzoooombiiieeehhh
Okay, I thought I'd do some sort of an update on my life now... since there is actually quite a lot to talk about. I might actually skip something, I'm not sure how deep into this I want to get. Blah.
- I currently have no apartment. Yeah. This is... very complicated. Basically, Aleksi wanted to move together with his GF Susanna, and they needed a bigger apartment for the two of them and their... seven gerbils. Yeah, that's another long story. They used to have two. They were supposed to just have two. Then stuff happened.
Anyway.... so basically it would be either that Aleksi moves out and I find a new roommate or I move out and Susanna moves in. And since I had been thinking of moving to Helsinki anyway and Tiina was looking for an apartment there, I thought I'd kill a couple of flies while I was at it.
Now, the problem is, it's not so easy to get an apartment in Helsinki. Especially if you don't even have a job or a place to study over there. So we haven't gotten one. On the other hand, Susanna wanted to move in already and... well, all three of us wouldn't fit in the same apartment with that mountain of stuff she happens to own. So... yeah. Mom and dad came to the rescue and we got all my stuff over to our summerhouse which is where I am right now.
Yyyeah. There would be a lot to say about this but I'm not sure if I want to go there. I know that they did have a right to ask me to move out, Susanna already made the deal with our landlord and all. It's just... okay, no, I'm not going there.
I just... don't have an apartment now then. I'm going back and forth between Pori, our summerhouse and dad's place in Helsinki and trying to sort through my stuff which was moved in no particular order and now it's all a huge mess of boxes and I have no idea where everything is. I didn't have a lot of time to pack. Or I did, I just started really late because I had thought I wasn't in any hurry.
- I'm having some... health problems. Okay, first I got sick, just a normal flu or whatever. But it just wouldn't go away so I was talked into going to see a nurse. She send me to have a bloodtest taken, just to be sure or whatever, although she assured me that it didn't seem like anything weird and would probably go away on its own (it did, by the way). But then once I got home they called me about the bloodtests (they weren't supposed to call me, I was supposed to call them in the afternoon or whatever) and asked me if I could come and see a doctor right away because my hemoglobin was really low in the test.
Sooo yeah. I have anemia. And a pretty bad case, apparently.
Normal levels are (according to Wikipedia):
Women: 12.1 to 15.1 g/dL (121 to 151 g/L, or 1.89 mM to 2.35 mM)
I'm going with the g/L count since that's what they use here. So normal would be 121. Mine was 74. According to Tuike, under 90 is considered severe anemia and she also said that if it had been any lower, they would probably have sent me straight to transfusion.
Whoah.
So why is it that bad? Well, here's where it gets to the tmi territory so stop reading unless you really want to know.
Basically, I've had troubles with my menses ever since they started. They've been way too rare and way too heavy. It's not the first time they've caused me anemia either, this is just the worst case.
Also, every couple of years... my menses just start and then they won't stop. Like, at all. Like, they'll go on for weeks. And well... Idk if I've mentioned it to all of you but I'm terrified of going to the doctor. It's almost like phobia-level bad. I tend to get panic attacks, shiver incontrollably, go all dissociative and possibly even unable to talk. So... I don't like to go unless I really really have to. So this results in my menses continuing for months before I actually give in and tell somebody.
I know, I know. It's stupid as hell.
And I haven't really been too excited about using medication for it either. Which is also stupid, I know. So I've been just... sort of hoping it'll go away on it's own.
Buuut by now I'm starting to get that it's not going to go away... and I suppose I'll just have to use meds for the rest of my life or get one of these.
To be honest though, if I just get this fixed, I'm happy enough, even if I have to eat pills for the rest of my life. I'm tired of this shit.
But yeah... that's how my life is right now... This whole summer I've been bleeding through my vag. Pretty heavily too. Actually I really should have known something like this would happen. Actually I kind of did know, I just didn't like to admit it to myself. And I was just so tired and I didn't want to go to the doctor... And I used this trick that's supposed to tell you if you have anemia: check under your lower eyelids and if there's bright red veins showing, you're fine. Turns out that trick is bullshit, at least in my case.
I'm really. Really. Really. Tired. That's how it feels. If I do even a little bit of anything that requires exercise, my blood is too thin to carry oxygen into my muscles and they go all... my English skills AND my biology skills fail me... they start producing lactic acid instead? Something like that. That kind of burning feeling in your muscles when you don't get enough oxygen to keep them running. Happens when you exercise too hard or whatever. Only atm it happens to me like... right away. Like, climbing up the stairs? Huuuge effort. Carrying a shopping bag? Takes a ton of my strength. Trying to move out of my apartment? I'm dead meat.
I have no idea how I survived the move. That day was hell. I was so tired. Well, really I only survived because I had mom and dad helping me all the way. And they luckily let me rest a lot too... even though I felt so guilty doing that while they worked. On the other hand, not sure if I would have been much help if I fainted or something.
My skin is all yellow, btw. Freaky. I look like a zombie.
- I currently have no apartment. Yeah. This is... very complicated. Basically, Aleksi wanted to move together with his GF Susanna, and they needed a bigger apartment for the two of them and their... seven gerbils. Yeah, that's another long story. They used to have two. They were supposed to just have two. Then stuff happened.
Anyway.... so basically it would be either that Aleksi moves out and I find a new roommate or I move out and Susanna moves in. And since I had been thinking of moving to Helsinki anyway and Tiina was looking for an apartment there, I thought I'd kill a couple of flies while I was at it.
Now, the problem is, it's not so easy to get an apartment in Helsinki. Especially if you don't even have a job or a place to study over there. So we haven't gotten one. On the other hand, Susanna wanted to move in already and... well, all three of us wouldn't fit in the same apartment with that mountain of stuff she happens to own. So... yeah. Mom and dad came to the rescue and we got all my stuff over to our summerhouse which is where I am right now.
Yyyeah. There would be a lot to say about this but I'm not sure if I want to go there. I know that they did have a right to ask me to move out, Susanna already made the deal with our landlord and all. It's just... okay, no, I'm not going there.
I just... don't have an apartment now then. I'm going back and forth between Pori, our summerhouse and dad's place in Helsinki and trying to sort through my stuff which was moved in no particular order and now it's all a huge mess of boxes and I have no idea where everything is. I didn't have a lot of time to pack. Or I did, I just started really late because I had thought I wasn't in any hurry.
- I'm having some... health problems. Okay, first I got sick, just a normal flu or whatever. But it just wouldn't go away so I was talked into going to see a nurse. She send me to have a bloodtest taken, just to be sure or whatever, although she assured me that it didn't seem like anything weird and would probably go away on its own (it did, by the way). But then once I got home they called me about the bloodtests (they weren't supposed to call me, I was supposed to call them in the afternoon or whatever) and asked me if I could come and see a doctor right away because my hemoglobin was really low in the test.
Sooo yeah. I have anemia. And a pretty bad case, apparently.
Normal levels are (according to Wikipedia):
Women: 12.1 to 15.1 g/dL (121 to 151 g/L, or 1.89 mM to 2.35 mM)
I'm going with the g/L count since that's what they use here. So normal would be 121. Mine was 74. According to Tuike, under 90 is considered severe anemia and she also said that if it had been any lower, they would probably have sent me straight to transfusion.
Whoah.
So why is it that bad? Well, here's where it gets to the tmi territory so stop reading unless you really want to know.
Basically, I've had troubles with my menses ever since they started. They've been way too rare and way too heavy. It's not the first time they've caused me anemia either, this is just the worst case.
Also, every couple of years... my menses just start and then they won't stop. Like, at all. Like, they'll go on for weeks. And well... Idk if I've mentioned it to all of you but I'm terrified of going to the doctor. It's almost like phobia-level bad. I tend to get panic attacks, shiver incontrollably, go all dissociative and possibly even unable to talk. So... I don't like to go unless I really really have to. So this results in my menses continuing for months before I actually give in and tell somebody.
I know, I know. It's stupid as hell.
And I haven't really been too excited about using medication for it either. Which is also stupid, I know. So I've been just... sort of hoping it'll go away on it's own.
Buuut by now I'm starting to get that it's not going to go away... and I suppose I'll just have to use meds for the rest of my life or get one of these.
To be honest though, if I just get this fixed, I'm happy enough, even if I have to eat pills for the rest of my life. I'm tired of this shit.
But yeah... that's how my life is right now... This whole summer I've been bleeding through my vag. Pretty heavily too. Actually I really should have known something like this would happen. Actually I kind of did know, I just didn't like to admit it to myself. And I was just so tired and I didn't want to go to the doctor... And I used this trick that's supposed to tell you if you have anemia: check under your lower eyelids and if there's bright red veins showing, you're fine. Turns out that trick is bullshit, at least in my case.
I'm really. Really. Really. Tired. That's how it feels. If I do even a little bit of anything that requires exercise, my blood is too thin to carry oxygen into my muscles and they go all... my English skills AND my biology skills fail me... they start producing lactic acid instead? Something like that. That kind of burning feeling in your muscles when you don't get enough oxygen to keep them running. Happens when you exercise too hard or whatever. Only atm it happens to me like... right away. Like, climbing up the stairs? Huuuge effort. Carrying a shopping bag? Takes a ton of my strength. Trying to move out of my apartment? I'm dead meat.
I have no idea how I survived the move. That day was hell. I was so tired. Well, really I only survived because I had mom and dad helping me all the way. And they luckily let me rest a lot too... even though I felt so guilty doing that while they worked. On the other hand, not sure if I would have been much help if I fainted or something.
My skin is all yellow, btw. Freaky. I look like a zombie.