Fic: Here Comes The Sun
Here Comes the Sun
Summary: A moment between John and Sam
Sam 16 years old.
Rating: PG
Words: 2479
Warnings: None.
So, it's been...well, a...few years since I posted something...BUT I seemed to have my inspiration back.
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”Dad?”
John opens his eyes just in time so see Sam hurrying down the front stairs to the house towards him. He must have seen John as he was walking up the steps, coming home from school.
”Dad, are you okay?” Sam asks, panting slightly after the small run, worry edged across his face.
John looks at him, putting up a hand to his face, shading his eyes from the bright light. ”I’m fine, Sam”.
Sam looks very confused, ”Dad, why are you sitting on the ground?”
John just smiles and closes his eyes again for a few seconds ”I’m enjoying the sun” .
Sam looks even more confused at this. He got all the right in the world too, John guesses. He usually doesn't enjoy things.
”We do have a porch, you know”. Sam gives him a sceptic glance.
John smiles again and Sam looks even more worried. God, are his smiles really that rare?. At least it’s a sign his son still likes him (somewhat, at least), they’ve been fighting so much lately John is kind of surprised Sam is able to feel any kind of worries for him.
”C’mon, sit down next to me” John says and pat the ground next to him and Sam surprise him once again by not even questioning him. Because everything is questioned these days by his youngest, why this, why that. And it’s driving John completely insane.
But Sam do sit down right beside John, leaning his back against the warm sunlit wall, carefully putting his backpack on the ground next to him.
”Not that bad, right?” John says and Sam gives him a small smile but John can tell he’s still not sure what’s going on.
The thing is nothing is going on. It’s a beautiful day, the first warm day in months. They’ve spent the winter in this house, a small rundown house in a small town in Pennsylvania. An old friend of John had offered the place over the winter months as a payment after he had helped him by killing a poltergeist. And even though the house was in a bad shape, John had preferred it over paying for a motel room. It has been a really cold winter though and John just couldn't help himself to go outside with his journal to enjoy the first sun, sitting down on the ground next to the stairs where the sun was coming down the strongest.
Sam is still looking at him and he smiles again.
”You, know. I used to do this all the time when I was a kid” he shares.
Sam’s eyes perk up, he’s definitely interested now.
”We had a house, not that different from this one actually. Well, a bit bigger and in a well...slightly better shape.” He shares a smile with Sam who has been complaining constantly about the coldness. Which, John thinks even though he won’t admit it, he had all the rights too. Because, hell, it’s been absolutely freezing.
He continues, “And I used to go down to sit beneath the stairs, kind of like this spot and I brought my toys with me and used to sit there to play.”
Sam smiles, no doubt trying to picture his old man as a kid.
”My dad always found me there when he came home, and he used to come down to me and sit there for a while.” It’s a nice memory, and suddenly he misses his dad even though his father doesn’t deserve it.
John shakes his head a little, and looks over at Sam again.
“So how was school?”
Sam laughs at him and leans his head against the wall. ”Since when do you ask about school?”
Ouch. That hurt. But he totally deserved that one. ”Since now, I guess”.
Sam’s smile dies, but he looks happy at the question. ”It was fun, we had this big algebra test today”.
Fun and algebra test in the same sentence. John shakes his head. He has a strange kid.
”Did it go well?”
Sam smiles ”yeah, well I think so at least”.
John nods. He wouldn’t expect otherwise. Between the researching and the homework, Sam has hardly left the desk in the living room for the whole week.
They’re quiet after that, enjoying the sun. Sam opens his backpack and pulls out a heavy book about chemistry.
The corner by the stairs is filled with a nice warmth and even though John can still see some small patches of snow, it almost feels like summer.
He goes back to his journal and starts scribbling up the details of a hunt nearby they’ve been researching the last few days. They’ve been trying to connect at least three deaths to what they think is a spirit of an old man who used to torture goats for a living. John want them all on this case, so while he and Sam have done research, Dean is currently up there asking the locals - under strict orders not to do anything else until John and Sam comes up in the weekend. John sighs. Normally he would have gone himself with Dean, leaving Sam alone because of school. But Dean has been going nuts in the house and has been hinting about taking on a case by himself for months.
Dean might be 21 now, but John doesn't want him on his own completely just yet. If ever.
But this had felt like a good start. Something to calm Dean with so he wouldn't suddenly go off by himself on a hunt. Now, Dean always follow orders, but he’s still been worried Dean would do something about the spirit anyway before the weekend. Typically Dean to ”accidentally” get in the way of the spirit and having to end it.
He had been happy about going off on his own though, even if it was only for a few days, and even if it was only for questioning the locals.
The only thing Dean had been worried about was leaving John and Sam by themselves. And John had agreed. Neither Sam or John had been too happy about that solution even if was for the best in the end.
John closes his eyes, adjusting his head directly toward the sun. Dean was never this difficult. Give him an order and he follows it, that's the way it’s always been. Sam though, always questioning his every move, they’ve been fighting almost every second they’ve been in the same room the past year. He somewhat understand it’s typical for a teenager, but he really thought he could raise most of the teenage angst away. It worked with Dean at least. Sam though, that seems to be a completely different story. He sighs and starts scribbling in his journal again.
Suddenly a weight is dropped on his shoulder and he looks up, confused.
He had almost forgotten Sam was still right next to him. But there he is, head peacefully resting on John’s shoulder as he has, to John’s surprise, fallen asleep.
To john’s embarrassment he doesn't quite know what to do at first. Even though there isn't anything to actually do.
But the truth is, John can't recall the last time Sam fell asleep against him. Passed out, yes, a few times. But not peacefully sleeping like this. The closest he can recall is about two years ago when sam reluctantly fell asleep for like five seconds against him at a hospital in Denver, while waiting on lab results on Dean from the doctors at four am after a bad hunt.
He finds himself holding his breath, because if he moves, Sam will probably wake up and the moment will be over. And he doesn't quite want it to be.
But after a minute he realizes he must breathe, so he inhales slowly and try to let his breathing return to normal. Sam doesn't even stir.
John leans his head back against the wall again and drags his right hand across his face. God, he is pathetic. What kind of father acts like this? And why is he suddenly nervous about this, of all things? He's a hunter of monsters for god sake. But to John, he realizes, this is almost something sacred, definitely not something reserved for him.
This is what Dean does. Lending his shoulder to his brother as Sam falls asleep in the couch watching a movie or in the car. It is Dean who wakes him up with a gentle nudge as he falls asleep researching or doing homework or carefully covers him with a blanket. Never John. And that hurts, because there was a time where Sam would come and climb up in his lap to give him a hug, giggling as John's beard tickled against him. He has himself to blame though, and he knows that.
He thinks back to those times for a while, that were, even if they were hard too from time to time, more peaceful sometimes. Definitely less teenage angst, John thinks.
But after a while it's time to go back for work and stop daydreaming so John picks up his road atlas that he also brought out with him and starts locating their next town. Hopefully this case will be closed soon, and with their free housing ending soon as well, John has decided to drive back toward South Dakota. Maybe finding some case and a town along the way and spend there a few weeks before finishing Sam’s school year close to Bobby’s.
They’re due a visit anyway and Bobby could use Dean’s help at the junkyard. Also, it should be at least a little bit warmer further south and it will be a hell lot of easier to dig up graves without the ice.
His phone vibrates in his pockets and he quickly reaches for it before it starts ringing.
The motion makes Sam head snap up anyway though, and John curses slightly in his head but answers the call.
“Heya dad” Dean’s chirpy voice comes back.
“Hey, Dean” he looks at Sam for a second, who looks at him quickly before looking down again. He’s clearly embarrassed.
“So this dude” Dean starts.
“Nicholas Hollen” John corrects him.
“Yeah, Nicholas Hollen. He was like the most creepy dude ever and I mean we have met a lot of creepy dudes during the year”. Dean takes a quick breath, he seems to be walking somewhere.
“I mean, apparently he wasn’t just torturing goats. Even if that’s creepy enough. I met with two people today who claims their grandparents were tortured by him. And the neighbour, Charles, clearly think someone returned the favour, if you know what I’m saying”.
“So it’s fairly certain someone killed him with torture, then”.
“Yeah, either that or the goats got their revenge”.
“The...goats?” John asks doubtfully.
“Hell yeah, Margareth who I spoke with today, well, she had some goats in her yard, and man, they were quite aggressive.”
John smiles, hoping to get the story about Margareth and the goats out of Dean later. Not now though “Well, either way, it’s enough to turn him into an angry spirit. We’ll torch his corpse tomorrow”.
“Absolutely” Dean says.
“And you’re staying out of it, you hear me?”
“Yeah, dad.” He can practically hear Dean roll his eyes. Which is not something he would do if John could see it.
“Dean”.
“I mean, yes, sir”.
“Good”.’ John glances back at Sam who is putting his book back in his backpack.
“Hey, dad, do you know where Sam is?” Dean asks right when John’s about to say goodbye.
“Yeah, why?”
“Well, he should be home from school like an hour ago, but no one is answering in the house”. And Sam thinks John is the one monitoring Sam’s every step.
“That’s because we’re outside at the moment” he answers.
“What, you're together?” Dean sounds surprised.
“Yeah, hold on, he’s right next to me”. John answers passing the phone to Sam.
It hurts that Dean finds it odd. They could have gone to pick up food or whatever. On the other hand it’s been so strained between him and Sam lately that John has avoided alone time with Sam at all cost. Something Dean has clearly picked up on.
“Yeah, it’s good” Sam mumbles into the phone next to him.
“I think it went well. There was this trick question at the end, but I think I got it”.
Sam’s quiet for a few seconds, but then he smiles and rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, right.”
Then he laughs. “Sure, Dean”
He throws John a quick glance and continues listening to Dean with the occasional agreement.
John looks over at the big tree on the yard next to them. He hope it’s not too late to fix things between him and Sam. But it’s hard. Somehow Sam needs to learn the hard life of being a hunter and it won’t work cuddling him. And he needs to learn how to follow orders before a hunt goes really bad because of it. He’s almost seventeen for god's sake and it’s time to take some responsibility. That’s all he’s trying to do. Teach some good old responsibility.
“Yeah, alright, bye” Sam says and John turns his head toward him as Sam hands him the phone.
“He say’s to call him as we leave”.
John nods. “I need to grab some things at the hardware store, and then we should have some food before we head off. You all packed?”
Sam nods, but won’t meet his eyes.
“Good, traffic should be over by then so it will probably take us about three hours if we’re lucky”.
Sam nods again and starts to stand.
“Hey, Sam” John says and Sam stops.
Thing is he doesn’t really know what to say. Deep inside maybe just ask Sam to sit down again, and just talk without fighting. They have time.
“I’ll drop you off at the library on the way while I’m at the hardware store and maybe you can pick up some books about goats?” Nope, apparently that was too hard for him.
“Goats?”
Sam’s expression is making it hard for him to avoid laughing.
“Dean thinks the goats might have something to do with it… I’m not sure, but it might be good to know if they can be aggressive”.
Sam nods, but look just as sceptic about that as John feel about it.
Then he turns around and walk up the steps to the house.
John puts his head back and closes his eyes again.
It will be nice to come back to Dean again. They’re better together, as a family.
He just hopes Sam will get some sleep on the way because he walks like he could use some. John should have made him go to bed at night instead of giving him more research to do. It’s just, sometimes, well mostly, John forgets that Sam is still young, and the fact that he still have school to worry about (even though Sam worries about that a bit too much). Ever since Dean got out of school John’s been pushing Sam further. Which, he guesses haven’t exactly helped their relationship.
He hears Sam closing the front door, and he starts to get up from the ground, picking up his journal and the road atlas before walking to the car after Sam.
As he passes him to lock it up he finally catches Sam’s eyes, and he feels a pang of guilt in his chest. Damn, Dean’s going to be pissed when they arrive tonight and he sees Sam’s dark patches under his eyes. John hardly thinks a few hours of sleep in the car will help with that.
They sit down and John starts the car, but he quickly turns it off.
Sam looks at him questionably.
“Hey, Sam, you wanna drive?”
Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
“Yeah” John answers and tosses him the keys before heading out to change seat.
Sam has known how to drive a car for many years now, even though he doesn’t do it that often. But it’s the first time he get’s to drive John’s car after Dean took over the Impala.
And sure, some would say that it would be a bad idea to let your sixteen year old sleep-deprived son to drive, but they haven’t seen the grin on Sam’s face as he starts the car up.
And in that moment, despite all their struggles, John couldn’t be happier.
end
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Oh and sorry for any spelling mistakes! I had trouble finding a beta but decided to post it anyway :)
Summary: A moment between John and Sam
Sam 16 years old.
Rating: PG
Words: 2479
Warnings: None.
So, it's been...well, a...few years since I posted something...BUT I seemed to have my inspiration back.
---
”Dad?”
John opens his eyes just in time so see Sam hurrying down the front stairs to the house towards him. He must have seen John as he was walking up the steps, coming home from school.
”Dad, are you okay?” Sam asks, panting slightly after the small run, worry edged across his face.
John looks at him, putting up a hand to his face, shading his eyes from the bright light. ”I’m fine, Sam”.
Sam looks very confused, ”Dad, why are you sitting on the ground?”
John just smiles and closes his eyes again for a few seconds ”I’m enjoying the sun” .
Sam looks even more confused at this. He got all the right in the world too, John guesses. He usually doesn't enjoy things.
”We do have a porch, you know”. Sam gives him a sceptic glance.
John smiles again and Sam looks even more worried. God, are his smiles really that rare?. At least it’s a sign his son still likes him (somewhat, at least), they’ve been fighting so much lately John is kind of surprised Sam is able to feel any kind of worries for him.
”C’mon, sit down next to me” John says and pat the ground next to him and Sam surprise him once again by not even questioning him. Because everything is questioned these days by his youngest, why this, why that. And it’s driving John completely insane.
But Sam do sit down right beside John, leaning his back against the warm sunlit wall, carefully putting his backpack on the ground next to him.
”Not that bad, right?” John says and Sam gives him a small smile but John can tell he’s still not sure what’s going on.
The thing is nothing is going on. It’s a beautiful day, the first warm day in months. They’ve spent the winter in this house, a small rundown house in a small town in Pennsylvania. An old friend of John had offered the place over the winter months as a payment after he had helped him by killing a poltergeist. And even though the house was in a bad shape, John had preferred it over paying for a motel room. It has been a really cold winter though and John just couldn't help himself to go outside with his journal to enjoy the first sun, sitting down on the ground next to the stairs where the sun was coming down the strongest.
Sam is still looking at him and he smiles again.
”You, know. I used to do this all the time when I was a kid” he shares.
Sam’s eyes perk up, he’s definitely interested now.
”We had a house, not that different from this one actually. Well, a bit bigger and in a well...slightly better shape.” He shares a smile with Sam who has been complaining constantly about the coldness. Which, John thinks even though he won’t admit it, he had all the rights too. Because, hell, it’s been absolutely freezing.
He continues, “And I used to go down to sit beneath the stairs, kind of like this spot and I brought my toys with me and used to sit there to play.”
Sam smiles, no doubt trying to picture his old man as a kid.
”My dad always found me there when he came home, and he used to come down to me and sit there for a while.” It’s a nice memory, and suddenly he misses his dad even though his father doesn’t deserve it.
John shakes his head a little, and looks over at Sam again.
“So how was school?”
Sam laughs at him and leans his head against the wall. ”Since when do you ask about school?”
Ouch. That hurt. But he totally deserved that one. ”Since now, I guess”.
Sam’s smile dies, but he looks happy at the question. ”It was fun, we had this big algebra test today”.
Fun and algebra test in the same sentence. John shakes his head. He has a strange kid.
”Did it go well?”
Sam smiles ”yeah, well I think so at least”.
John nods. He wouldn’t expect otherwise. Between the researching and the homework, Sam has hardly left the desk in the living room for the whole week.
They’re quiet after that, enjoying the sun. Sam opens his backpack and pulls out a heavy book about chemistry.
The corner by the stairs is filled with a nice warmth and even though John can still see some small patches of snow, it almost feels like summer.
He goes back to his journal and starts scribbling up the details of a hunt nearby they’ve been researching the last few days. They’ve been trying to connect at least three deaths to what they think is a spirit of an old man who used to torture goats for a living. John want them all on this case, so while he and Sam have done research, Dean is currently up there asking the locals - under strict orders not to do anything else until John and Sam comes up in the weekend. John sighs. Normally he would have gone himself with Dean, leaving Sam alone because of school. But Dean has been going nuts in the house and has been hinting about taking on a case by himself for months.
Dean might be 21 now, but John doesn't want him on his own completely just yet. If ever.
But this had felt like a good start. Something to calm Dean with so he wouldn't suddenly go off by himself on a hunt. Now, Dean always follow orders, but he’s still been worried Dean would do something about the spirit anyway before the weekend. Typically Dean to ”accidentally” get in the way of the spirit and having to end it.
He had been happy about going off on his own though, even if it was only for a few days, and even if it was only for questioning the locals.
The only thing Dean had been worried about was leaving John and Sam by themselves. And John had agreed. Neither Sam or John had been too happy about that solution even if was for the best in the end.
John closes his eyes, adjusting his head directly toward the sun. Dean was never this difficult. Give him an order and he follows it, that's the way it’s always been. Sam though, always questioning his every move, they’ve been fighting almost every second they’ve been in the same room the past year. He somewhat understand it’s typical for a teenager, but he really thought he could raise most of the teenage angst away. It worked with Dean at least. Sam though, that seems to be a completely different story. He sighs and starts scribbling in his journal again.
Suddenly a weight is dropped on his shoulder and he looks up, confused.
He had almost forgotten Sam was still right next to him. But there he is, head peacefully resting on John’s shoulder as he has, to John’s surprise, fallen asleep.
To john’s embarrassment he doesn't quite know what to do at first. Even though there isn't anything to actually do.
But the truth is, John can't recall the last time Sam fell asleep against him. Passed out, yes, a few times. But not peacefully sleeping like this. The closest he can recall is about two years ago when sam reluctantly fell asleep for like five seconds against him at a hospital in Denver, while waiting on lab results on Dean from the doctors at four am after a bad hunt.
He finds himself holding his breath, because if he moves, Sam will probably wake up and the moment will be over. And he doesn't quite want it to be.
But after a minute he realizes he must breathe, so he inhales slowly and try to let his breathing return to normal. Sam doesn't even stir.
John leans his head back against the wall again and drags his right hand across his face. God, he is pathetic. What kind of father acts like this? And why is he suddenly nervous about this, of all things? He's a hunter of monsters for god sake. But to John, he realizes, this is almost something sacred, definitely not something reserved for him.
This is what Dean does. Lending his shoulder to his brother as Sam falls asleep in the couch watching a movie or in the car. It is Dean who wakes him up with a gentle nudge as he falls asleep researching or doing homework or carefully covers him with a blanket. Never John. And that hurts, because there was a time where Sam would come and climb up in his lap to give him a hug, giggling as John's beard tickled against him. He has himself to blame though, and he knows that.
He thinks back to those times for a while, that were, even if they were hard too from time to time, more peaceful sometimes. Definitely less teenage angst, John thinks.
But after a while it's time to go back for work and stop daydreaming so John picks up his road atlas that he also brought out with him and starts locating their next town. Hopefully this case will be closed soon, and with their free housing ending soon as well, John has decided to drive back toward South Dakota. Maybe finding some case and a town along the way and spend there a few weeks before finishing Sam’s school year close to Bobby’s.
They’re due a visit anyway and Bobby could use Dean’s help at the junkyard. Also, it should be at least a little bit warmer further south and it will be a hell lot of easier to dig up graves without the ice.
His phone vibrates in his pockets and he quickly reaches for it before it starts ringing.
The motion makes Sam head snap up anyway though, and John curses slightly in his head but answers the call.
“Heya dad” Dean’s chirpy voice comes back.
“Hey, Dean” he looks at Sam for a second, who looks at him quickly before looking down again. He’s clearly embarrassed.
“So this dude” Dean starts.
“Nicholas Hollen” John corrects him.
“Yeah, Nicholas Hollen. He was like the most creepy dude ever and I mean we have met a lot of creepy dudes during the year”. Dean takes a quick breath, he seems to be walking somewhere.
“I mean, apparently he wasn’t just torturing goats. Even if that’s creepy enough. I met with two people today who claims their grandparents were tortured by him. And the neighbour, Charles, clearly think someone returned the favour, if you know what I’m saying”.
“So it’s fairly certain someone killed him with torture, then”.
“Yeah, either that or the goats got their revenge”.
“The...goats?” John asks doubtfully.
“Hell yeah, Margareth who I spoke with today, well, she had some goats in her yard, and man, they were quite aggressive.”
John smiles, hoping to get the story about Margareth and the goats out of Dean later. Not now though “Well, either way, it’s enough to turn him into an angry spirit. We’ll torch his corpse tomorrow”.
“Absolutely” Dean says.
“And you’re staying out of it, you hear me?”
“Yeah, dad.” He can practically hear Dean roll his eyes. Which is not something he would do if John could see it.
“Dean”.
“I mean, yes, sir”.
“Good”.’ John glances back at Sam who is putting his book back in his backpack.
“Hey, dad, do you know where Sam is?” Dean asks right when John’s about to say goodbye.
“Yeah, why?”
“Well, he should be home from school like an hour ago, but no one is answering in the house”. And Sam thinks John is the one monitoring Sam’s every step.
“That’s because we’re outside at the moment” he answers.
“What, you're together?” Dean sounds surprised.
“Yeah, hold on, he’s right next to me”. John answers passing the phone to Sam.
It hurts that Dean finds it odd. They could have gone to pick up food or whatever. On the other hand it’s been so strained between him and Sam lately that John has avoided alone time with Sam at all cost. Something Dean has clearly picked up on.
“Yeah, it’s good” Sam mumbles into the phone next to him.
“I think it went well. There was this trick question at the end, but I think I got it”.
Sam’s quiet for a few seconds, but then he smiles and rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, right.”
Then he laughs. “Sure, Dean”
He throws John a quick glance and continues listening to Dean with the occasional agreement.
John looks over at the big tree on the yard next to them. He hope it’s not too late to fix things between him and Sam. But it’s hard. Somehow Sam needs to learn the hard life of being a hunter and it won’t work cuddling him. And he needs to learn how to follow orders before a hunt goes really bad because of it. He’s almost seventeen for god's sake and it’s time to take some responsibility. That’s all he’s trying to do. Teach some good old responsibility.
“Yeah, alright, bye” Sam says and John turns his head toward him as Sam hands him the phone.
“He say’s to call him as we leave”.
John nods. “I need to grab some things at the hardware store, and then we should have some food before we head off. You all packed?”
Sam nods, but won’t meet his eyes.
“Good, traffic should be over by then so it will probably take us about three hours if we’re lucky”.
Sam nods again and starts to stand.
“Hey, Sam” John says and Sam stops.
Thing is he doesn’t really know what to say. Deep inside maybe just ask Sam to sit down again, and just talk without fighting. They have time.
“I’ll drop you off at the library on the way while I’m at the hardware store and maybe you can pick up some books about goats?” Nope, apparently that was too hard for him.
“Goats?”
Sam’s expression is making it hard for him to avoid laughing.
“Dean thinks the goats might have something to do with it… I’m not sure, but it might be good to know if they can be aggressive”.
Sam nods, but look just as sceptic about that as John feel about it.
Then he turns around and walk up the steps to the house.
John puts his head back and closes his eyes again.
It will be nice to come back to Dean again. They’re better together, as a family.
He just hopes Sam will get some sleep on the way because he walks like he could use some. John should have made him go to bed at night instead of giving him more research to do. It’s just, sometimes, well mostly, John forgets that Sam is still young, and the fact that he still have school to worry about (even though Sam worries about that a bit too much). Ever since Dean got out of school John’s been pushing Sam further. Which, he guesses haven’t exactly helped their relationship.
He hears Sam closing the front door, and he starts to get up from the ground, picking up his journal and the road atlas before walking to the car after Sam.
As he passes him to lock it up he finally catches Sam’s eyes, and he feels a pang of guilt in his chest. Damn, Dean’s going to be pissed when they arrive tonight and he sees Sam’s dark patches under his eyes. John hardly thinks a few hours of sleep in the car will help with that.
They sit down and John starts the car, but he quickly turns it off.
Sam looks at him questionably.
“Hey, Sam, you wanna drive?”
Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
“Yeah” John answers and tosses him the keys before heading out to change seat.
Sam has known how to drive a car for many years now, even though he doesn’t do it that often. But it’s the first time he get’s to drive John’s car after Dean took over the Impala.
And sure, some would say that it would be a bad idea to let your sixteen year old sleep-deprived son to drive, but they haven’t seen the grin on Sam’s face as he starts the car up.
And in that moment, despite all their struggles, John couldn’t be happier.
end
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Oh and sorry for any spelling mistakes! I had trouble finding a beta but decided to post it anyway :)