In retrospect--this was kind of inevitable...
Legion of Justice Archive
Mobile, Alabama
120608
His hands wreathed in coruscating energies, a man clad in a domed white environmental suit with a blood red armband tore open a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum. A man with the face of Adolf Hitler.
"I, Chronofuhrer, have secured the destiny of the Fourth Reich! I have opened a portal into alternate timelines and brought forth from them Germany's greatest warriors!"
Chronofuhrer's elite commandoes, the Shock Grenadiers, simply stood back and watched as the scene unfolded.
Out of the circular energy field slowly stepped huge men in powered armor. The first was covered in arcing electrical currents, the second wore armor that was obviously steam powered and wielded a huge hammer and the third had a helmet resembling a giant gas mask with all manner of spigots and hoses all over his armor.
"Welcome, gentlemen! Welcome! I have summoned you here to help me conquer this world and establish an Eternal Reich. You three will be my generals, my Kaiser Trio: Fluxkaiser, Hammerkaiser and Toxinkaiser! Nothing can stop me now!"
The three supervillains lifted their arms in salute and began to shout "Heil Hitler!" as the warehouse suddenly shook with a tremendous explosion. Chronofuhrer whirled around in both surprise and terror.
"Gott in himmel! My sworn foes--but you interfering troublemakers should be five different flavors of hero ice cream by now..."
Five mysterious strangers, three men and two women stood in the opening of the warehouse slowly becoming visible as the smoke cleared.
Pointing at Chronofuhrer, his destined adversary, Wayne shouted forth their battlecry: "RAINBOW GYMNASTIC CLOWN FORCE--GO!"
Melissa sprinted forth in her superheroine guise as Chaser X using the super speed powers she had naturally developed chasing down children in both the home and in school. Hammerkaiser turned to face her and yelled, "STOP!" He lifted his hammer to smash her into pieces. "HAMMER TIME!"
Melissa deftly evaded the blow and then ran in circles this way and that around Hammerkaiser and soon he was caught in a bewildering and disorienting blur.
Chronofuhrer screamed "Shock grenadiers! Get them!"
As the black clad troops begin firing their wrist mounted taser darts and hurling shock grenades at our intrepid heroes, Cathy leapt into action, wielding the ultrasonic battle scream she had developed yelling at stupid customers as Screaming Mimi, sonic screaming heroine for justice! There was a ripple of explosions as the taser darts and shock grenades shattered harmlessly into thin air.
Jeff stretched his torso, arms and legs around the room entangling the commandoes in a rubbery grip.
"Calm down boys--there's plenty of me to go around!" Jeff was dressed in his superheroic guise: a red, white and blue stretchable version of the famous white Elvis suit. Known to friends as Jeff Murdock, he fought crime as: Stretch Longdong!
The surprise of the heroes sudden appearance began to wear off on the villains and Fluxkaiser and Toxinkaiser stepped forward to do the heroes serious hurt. But just then, Wayne and Don stretched forth their hands towards each other and when they touched, shouted: "RAINBOW LOVE CLOWN POWERS ACTIVATE!"
The crimefighting clowns for justice then began to glow with an unearthly light. Years ago, Wayne and Don had accidentally been caught in a radioactive mystic experiment gone wrong and become fused with their Higher Guardian Clowns. Since then, they had fought crime together as the Clown Duo--Rainbow Clown and Love Clown!
Wayne shouted "Rainbow Clown! Shape of a giant squirt flower!"
Don shouted "Love Clown! Form of a giant pigeon!"
The two clownic heroes morphed into what they had just named and Wayne as a giant clown's squirt flower hurled a torrent of water into Fluxkaiser knocking him into Toxinkaiser. Bolts of uncontrolled electricity arced over the two of them and they fell unconscious. Meanwhile, Don as a giant pigeon took to the air and emptied his bowels trapping Chronofuhrer in a giant avian defecation.
Jaguarman and Jaguarwoman arrived just as our heroes were tying up the captive supervillians.
"I see you didn't need our help," Jaguarman said. "Once again, the city of Mobile owes you its thanks. Once again, the world owes its safety to the Rainbow Gymnastic Clown Force!"
Mobile, Alabama
120608
His hands wreathed in coruscating energies, a man clad in a domed white environmental suit with a blood red armband tore open a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum. A man with the face of Adolf Hitler.
"I, Chronofuhrer, have secured the destiny of the Fourth Reich! I have opened a portal into alternate timelines and brought forth from them Germany's greatest warriors!"
Chronofuhrer's elite commandoes, the Shock Grenadiers, simply stood back and watched as the scene unfolded.
Out of the circular energy field slowly stepped huge men in powered armor. The first was covered in arcing electrical currents, the second wore armor that was obviously steam powered and wielded a huge hammer and the third had a helmet resembling a giant gas mask with all manner of spigots and hoses all over his armor.
"Welcome, gentlemen! Welcome! I have summoned you here to help me conquer this world and establish an Eternal Reich. You three will be my generals, my Kaiser Trio: Fluxkaiser, Hammerkaiser and Toxinkaiser! Nothing can stop me now!"
The three supervillains lifted their arms in salute and began to shout "Heil Hitler!" as the warehouse suddenly shook with a tremendous explosion. Chronofuhrer whirled around in both surprise and terror.
"Gott in himmel! My sworn foes--but you interfering troublemakers should be five different flavors of hero ice cream by now..."
Five mysterious strangers, three men and two women stood in the opening of the warehouse slowly becoming visible as the smoke cleared.
Pointing at Chronofuhrer, his destined adversary, Wayne shouted forth their battlecry: "RAINBOW GYMNASTIC CLOWN FORCE--GO!"
Melissa sprinted forth in her superheroine guise as Chaser X using the super speed powers she had naturally developed chasing down children in both the home and in school. Hammerkaiser turned to face her and yelled, "STOP!" He lifted his hammer to smash her into pieces. "HAMMER TIME!"
Melissa deftly evaded the blow and then ran in circles this way and that around Hammerkaiser and soon he was caught in a bewildering and disorienting blur.
Chronofuhrer screamed "Shock grenadiers! Get them!"
As the black clad troops begin firing their wrist mounted taser darts and hurling shock grenades at our intrepid heroes, Cathy leapt into action, wielding the ultrasonic battle scream she had developed yelling at stupid customers as Screaming Mimi, sonic screaming heroine for justice! There was a ripple of explosions as the taser darts and shock grenades shattered harmlessly into thin air.
Jeff stretched his torso, arms and legs around the room entangling the commandoes in a rubbery grip.
"Calm down boys--there's plenty of me to go around!" Jeff was dressed in his superheroic guise: a red, white and blue stretchable version of the famous white Elvis suit. Known to friends as Jeff Murdock, he fought crime as: Stretch Longdong!
The surprise of the heroes sudden appearance began to wear off on the villains and Fluxkaiser and Toxinkaiser stepped forward to do the heroes serious hurt. But just then, Wayne and Don stretched forth their hands towards each other and when they touched, shouted: "RAINBOW LOVE CLOWN POWERS ACTIVATE!"
The crimefighting clowns for justice then began to glow with an unearthly light. Years ago, Wayne and Don had accidentally been caught in a radioactive mystic experiment gone wrong and become fused with their Higher Guardian Clowns. Since then, they had fought crime together as the Clown Duo--Rainbow Clown and Love Clown!
Wayne shouted "Rainbow Clown! Shape of a giant squirt flower!"
Don shouted "Love Clown! Form of a giant pigeon!"
The two clownic heroes morphed into what they had just named and Wayne as a giant clown's squirt flower hurled a torrent of water into Fluxkaiser knocking him into Toxinkaiser. Bolts of uncontrolled electricity arced over the two of them and they fell unconscious. Meanwhile, Don as a giant pigeon took to the air and emptied his bowels trapping Chronofuhrer in a giant avian defecation.
Jaguarman and Jaguarwoman arrived just as our heroes were tying up the captive supervillians.
"I see you didn't need our help," Jaguarman said. "Once again, the city of Mobile owes you its thanks. Once again, the world owes its safety to the Rainbow Gymnastic Clown Force!"