Prompt #20 - Love
Title: When Our Worlds Collide (Estranged Series Part 4 of 4)
Category: X-Force
Characters: Rictor, Shatterstar, and a little bit of X-Force
Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama, Fluff
Rated: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t claim to. Don’t bug me.
Summary: Takes place between X-Force #61 and 62. Shatterstar was thought to meet his untimely end, and Rictor regretted the things that happened in the past. They say the past cannot be undone…but it can pave the road for the future.
Part 1 - For the Best
Part 2 - Just Trying to Kill the Pain
Part 3 - Feel My World Crumble
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Time stands still.
It was a phrase he had heard before, but never once had experienced. To Rictor, time went by and never stopped, and more often than not it moved so fast that he barely noticed it at all. But sometimes it moved really slowly, like when he was doing something he was not interested in, or if there were places that he would much rather be. In fact, even then sometimes it would seem that it was going backwards.
But it never stopped.
Not until that day.
There was a cold and lonely place that existed in the dark recesses of Julio Richter’s mind, one that he had not known of until then. It was a place where all thoughts were halted and all emotions numbed. Only blackness remained and he was trapped inside alone, and felt nothing. In the spirit of utter hopelessness that place consumed him, murdering his soul and stealing from him everything that he had once held dear.
At one point, Rictor was sure he knew what was important to him. Some things he held at arms length; his skin was almost like a filter in that sense that only selective things were allowed to pass through and really affect him on the inside where it counted. There were not many things or people that were permitted access to that place.
Because when he fell, he fell hard even if it took him awhile to do so. Throughout his life most of the people that had made their way to that warm, happy place had eventually left him. Some people, like his father and a few select friends, had died. Other people - like his cousin Omar or girls like Rahne Sinclair - had up and left him, betrayed him, or disappointed him. And for every person that damaged that very sensitive part of him, another thick layer of wall added on to his cold outer shell. Eventually only one person remained inside -- and that was Shatterstar.
Shatterstar was different from all the rest, and no matter what Julio was sure that 'Star would never intentionally destroy that one last shred of love within him. The Cadre warrior was from another planet -- was another being -- he was many things that those people of the past could never be. Dishonor, mistrust, and disloyalty were not words in his vocabulary. Shatterstar fought for the things that were important to him with a passion and devotion unheard of in a normal human being. Rictor knew this, and he also knew that once he had made the grade to make that list of things that Shatty held dear, he would never be off of it so long as he stayed true to his friend.
Shatterstar was the one constant Rictor always expected to have in his life.
But all of that had changed that day. It did not commence due to betrayal or hurt, nor did Shatterstar intentionally rip Julio’s heart out of his chest. Instead, 'Star had been killed; mortally wounded in front of Julio’s very eyes.
And not even three hours before that very incident Rictor had just returned to the warrior’s side after a leave of absence with every intention of clearing up things between them. For months the Mexican had been bothered with growing feelings; confusion for that looming thing that existed between them. It was something that he had not been able to explain or understand before -- which was why he left. But after taking some time to himself everything became crystal clear to him. Julio Richter had every intention of returning to his friend and letting him know that he had worked it out. He wanted him to know the truth of his feelings, and the depth of the emotion he held for him.
But then it was too late.
And six hours after the fall of Shatterstar, Julio Richter wondered if he would now be able to get that chance. Spiral had gone and pulled through for the team, somehow using her amazing abilities to save the Cadre warrior’s life and bring him back from the dead. Spiral had always been such an enigma; someone with an agenda that both worried and frustrated Shatterstar. She was very unpredictable and her intentions unclear. But that day, the most important day, she had pulled through. And not only had she saved Shatterstar from his defeat, but she had also reached down and pulled Julio from the dark recesses of his mind and gave him back his heart.
Spiral had given both boys their lives back.
It had been a rather strange occurrence, and Shatterstar was unsure about the new changes, but Julio did not care. Whether or not he was Gaveedra-7 the bioengineered alien, Benjamin Russell the Boston runaway, or just Shatterstar the warrior, Rictor loved him all the same. He was his friend and the same person he trusted with his life -- and that would never change so long as he lived.
And sitting at the side of the room back at X-Force’s safe house, Rictor could not take his eyes off of him. Shatterstar stood annoyed and amused and curious as ever, almost as if nothing had ever happened. Spiral and Longshot had accompanied them back to Earth for transport, and had left a short time after. Only X-Force remained, and even if 'Star was not, they were all still reeling over the events of the day.
Most of the team had surrounded the warrior, asking him how he felt and making sure that he was okay. Rictor could tell he was getting rather testy at the attention, and snorted a few times when 'Star had snapped at them. Shatty hated nothing more than being poked and prodded at, and when he said that he was okay he made it a point to damn well insist it.
“Can I please leave?” he sulked. “There is no reason for me to stand in this room any longer. I would like to shower. And I would like to sleep.”
Cable folded his arms. “We just want to make sure you’re okay. I was there, Shatterstar, and I know that you went through a lot.”
Rolling his eyes, Shatty bent his knees and propelled himself into the air, back flipping until he landed nearly ten feet away. “I am fine! Would you like me to show you more? Where are my swords…?” he added as an after thought.
Rictor smirked as Cable just looked to Domino for help. The dark haired woman only shook her head and approached him. “'Star, you can hit the hay, all right? Just take it easy, for at least everyone else’s sake.”
“I can do that,” he vowed to Domino.
“I’m tired too,” Tabby yawned from the other side of the room. Her head was rested on an already sleeping Caliban, who was next to Roberto who also seemed to be dozing off. “I think we should all go to bed. And get a freaking vacation.”
“Aye,” Terry nodded and padded across the room until she was close enough to 'Star to place a hand on his forearm. “I’m glad yuir okay, Shatty, but I’m beat.”
He nodded. “You should rest.”
Cable sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Fine, fine, get your butts to bed then. Refrain from blowing anything up and I’ll think about giving you the day off tomorrow.”
The others answered with a series of groans and moans and one by one filed from the room and up into the upper levels of the bunker. When the space was only occupied by 'Star, Ric, Domino, and Nate, conversation picked up again.
“Are you staying?” Domino asked the Mexican.
Rictor looked at her. “Is that an invitation?”
“You know you were always welcomed back here,” she told him. “We expected you back at some point.”
Rictor looked at 'Star, who was staring at him intensely. There was no way he was leaving him again. “Yeah, I’d like to.”
“Good,” Cable replied. “We could use the man power. Things have been a little hectic since Onslaught.”
Rictor nodded. “So I heard. How long you planning on stayin’ in this joint though? It looks kinda small…”
Cable eyed Domino before speaking. “Yeah it is. Most of us are sharing rooms because of it, but we had no choice. It was a last resort for protection.”
“Right,” Rictor sighed, and rubbed at his face tiredly.
“I am not sharing quarters currently,” 'Star announced. “But I wouldn’t mind to with Julio.”
Domino looked at Rictor. “You okay with that? I’m sure we got a cot lying around somewhere…”
Rictor shrugged. “Yeah sure, whatever.”
“Can we go?” 'Star whined again. “I don’t want to stand here anymore!”
Cable shook his head. “Yeah, go ahead. But just so you know, both of you, it’s good to have you back.”
The boys looked at each other before they both nodded. “Thanks,” Rictor muttered.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
The room was cold and bare. There was not much inside save for Shatty’s bed, Julio’s dinky new cot, and a small television set perched on an equally cool, steel stand. It occurred to Rictor that 'Star did not really have many of his things with him, and he wondered briefly just how much damage this Onslaught incident really did.
But, then again, 'Star was never really the type of guy to keep a bunch of possessions. As long as he had his TV, clothes, and swords he was good. He spent most of his time training, and that did not require him to have much else. With the amount of moving around X-Force did anyways, it made sense.
Rictor sat on the edge of the bed anxiously and waited for the warrior’s return. He had gone in to have a shower just moments before, leaving Julio with a few minutes to prepare himself for what was to come. What was he going to say? He had never been real good at the talking thing -- especially when it came to his emotions -- and he was more worried than anything that he would come off the wrong way, or look like an ass, or something.
Hell, for all he knew Shatterstar was not even into guys.
But what was between them was there, and Julio could feel it - there was no possible way to ignore it. He had been stupid enough to think he could deny it, but Rictor knew that Shatterstar was a fuck of a lot smarter than he was no matter how big and scary that thing may be. And Shatterstar did not get scared anyways; he was…
“Julio?” his deep accented voice filled the room, and it made Rictor jump. The bigger man was wearing only a pair of cotton shorts, and his long hair hung damp past his shoulders. His eyebrows were pinched inward as he stared down at the cot on the floor. “They want you to sleep on that!?”
Rictor shrugged. “S’no big deal. I’ve slept on worse.”
Shatterstar eyed him. “Even Theresa would be too big for that.”
“I can sleep on the floor instead if it’d make you feel better,” Julio joked.
Shatty rolled his eyes. “No, it would not.”
“How are you feeling?” Rictor asked, cautiously changing the subject. “I know you’re probably sick of hearing that question, but I just need to know.”
“I’m better,” 'Star murmured and strode across the room to sit next to Rictor on his bed. “I feel better than I have in a long time.”
Rictor blinked. “You died today. You actually…died. I saw you…”
“I am fine,” he insisted. “I do not really remember much, truthfully, but I feel - what is the word? Complete?”
Rictor nodded and swallowed. “I thought I lost you.”
“I know,” he bowed his head. “Domino did not seem impressed with your behavior.”
Rictor snorted. “Yeah well had it been Cable she would’ve acted the same way.”
“I agree,” Shatterstar looked at him then. “I believe she may love Cable even if she does not admit it, but it is obvious. It is hard not to act rash when someone you…care for gets hurt.”
“Si,” Rictor croaked, and had to clear his throat. “Look I just wanna say, you know, that I’m…sorry.”
'Star furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re sorry? For what? You did not kill me.”
Rictor’s stomach turned at that thought. “No, but I left you. And…you know…maybe this…you know…”
“I don’t blame you,” Shatterstar interrupted his babbling. “You should not think such things. You came back and that is what matters.”
Rictor twisted his fingers in his hands as he fought to hold back the overwhelming emotion that was surging through his body right then. So many words were on the tip of his tongue, but his brain was just not working. It was a lot easier to think about it alone at night in his bed, but sitting there right in front of 'Star made it so much more difficult. His fear and nervousness combined with his joy and happiness for Shatty being alive were clashing, and Rictor was pretty sure his heart was ready to explode out of his chest and thump onto the floor.
“Rictor?” 'Star questioned, lifting a hand and placing it on Julio’s fidgeting ones. “Are you all right? I’m sorry I died and hurt your feelings.”
Rictor burst out laughing at that declaration and the absurdity of it. “I don’t think it’s your fault you died.”
'Star sighed. “Well, I didn’t intend to. But I am glad that I managed to help destroy Mojo.”
“Yeah,” Rictor breathed. “You sure gave us a scare, amigo. I don’t know what I would have done if…”
“I was told that I almost died a few months ago as well,” Shatterstar scratched his chin and stared up at the ceiling distractedly. “Before this mess had started I got shot and nearly died.”
“What!?” Rictor exclaimed. “When did that…why didn’t you…what?!”
'Star finally brought his gaze back to Rictor. “When you left me at the airport I got shot in the chest by a machine gun point blank range. A woman was being held hostage so I decided to jump on the man.”
Rictor stared at him, stunned. “You did.”
“I did,” he nodded.
“That’s…”
“Unacceptable, I know,” 'Star smirked a little bit. “Cable was not very impressed with my actions, but I believe it is safe to say that I was not in a very happy state of mind. You had just left and all I wanted to do was stab someone, Julio, to be honest.”
“I had no idea…” Rictor muttered. “I wish you would’ve told me, amigo.”
“I just did,” 'Star pointed out. “I am all right, so there is nothing to worry about. You have to understand that I acted out very foolishly after you had left, but it helped me to understand all of these problems.”
“I feel like it’s my fault!” Rictor almost shouted at him. “Maybe if my stupid ass hadn’t of left then ya wouldn’t have gotten all confused anyways! Things would’ve just been fine and normal, and…”
“But then you wouldn’t have gotten your head back,” 'Star pointed out. “You said you had to leave and then you said you were happy because you were fixed. That is important to me as well.”
Rictor blinked dumbly. “Uh yeah…yeah, I guess so.”
'Star pulled his hand back and began to play around with his hair. “I regret being selfish. Your needs are much more important than me just wanting you around. You’ll have to forgive me; I have just never experienced such a feeling as I did when you left.”
Rictor felt his mouth dry out, and he swallowed. “Yeah? And what feeling was that?”
'Star turned to look at him. “You mean so much to me. I don’t think I can explain it well with words, but a very deep feeling inside of me made me very angry and sorrowful when you left.” He pushed his hair back. “I’m pretty sure I failed at functioning properly without you, Julio.”
“You…” Rictor swallowed and dipped his head when he felt his face burn hotly. “You mean…a lot to me, too…and…”
“Yes? You keep pausing.”
Rictor took a deep breath and dared to take a look at Shatterstar. “I really suck at this, okay?”
“So it seems,” Shatterstar sighed. “I do not know what you’re trying to say, and frankly Julio I am not very good at guessing games. So you should just say it.”
Rictor glared at him. “Well, Dios, 'Star! It’s not like you make it easy!”
“I’m just sitting here,” he scoffed. “I am not the one stuttering or interrupting you.”
“No you’re just making me feel dumb.”
“How?” he questioned with an intense stare. “I want you to talk, Julio, so talk to me. Right now.”
“You haven’t changed a bit,” Rictor’s face burned and he huffed and folded his arms. “You are so fucking difficult, you know that? You just point out all this crap that makes me want to smash my face off a wall!”
“I would be pretty concerned if you tried that,” 'Star gave him a strange look. “And I doubt your face would look very nice afterward.”
“No kidding! But at this rate it’d probably be an improvement, so there!” Rictor flailed his arms.
'Star caught one of his wrists before it smacked him in the face. “Julio stop spazzing.”
“You know what? Forget it!” Rictor glared and jumped up from the bed. “It’s impossible! You are fucking…I don’t even know, 'Star. I just wanna sit here and tell you how I feel and you’re making it impossible!”
'Star gave him a curious look. “Tell me how you feel? Do you have feelings, Julio?”
Rictor pointed at him, and felt his face heat up. “I --” he dropped his hand, having realized what he said. “Uh…somethin’ like that,” he muttered.
'Star blinked, and the corners of his mouth twitched upward a few times before the smile disappeared again. “I have seen this on television, and I do believe I know what you are referring to.”
Rictor scratched his head as felt himself blush. “Ha ha, well you know, maybe it’s just stomach cramps! In fact, I think I’m gonna puke…I’ll be right back.”
Shatterstar jumped up and landed in front of Rictor so that he was blocking the door. Rictor felt his heart leap up into his throat, and the situation got a whole lot more intense for him once 'Star was close enough for Julio to feel the heat radiating off of his body. The warrior placed his hands on Rictor’s forearms and held him in place. “You left…and that was what you had to figure out? Me?”
That annoying blush crept back up Rictor’s neck and invaded his face again. “Si.”
“I was not aware,” he told him.
Rictor swallowed. “Are you mad?”
The warrior gazed intensely into his eyes. “No.”
“I…” Rictor cleared his throat again. “I needed to know…I left because I just needed to be sure. If I woulda known what was gonna happen…”
Shatterstar shook his head. “Don’t beat yourself up for it, Julio.”
Rictor blinked back his emotions. “You don’t understand…I’ve never been that scared in my whole life, 'Star. I flipped -- I went cuckoo bananas, amigo! I said things to the others, I-I didn’t care what they thought, and I…”
Shatterstar watched him curiously. “You what?”
Rictor rubbed his face anxiously and tried his hardest to just push away all his fear and just fucking say it. “I just wanted you back with me.”
'Star nodded and reached out to him, his index finger tracing down Rictor’s forearm until he clasped onto his smaller hand. “And you were the very last thing I saw before I closed my eyes, Julio.”
Rictor’s heart sped up at that declaration, and he began to feel a little more confident. “I did, I wanted you…but, what killed me most was that I never got to tell you.”
'Star nodded. “I know the feeling.”
A surge of emotion spilled through him then, and he squeezed Shatty’s hand. “I want to make sure I…this never happens again.”
Shatterstar searched Rictor’s eyes with his own, pressed his lips into a tight line, and he nodded. “I feel more complete this way, Julio -- in this body; before I never felt things without being confused or misunderstanding. But this vessel is human and now things seem so much clearer.”
Rictor swallowed. “I’m glad.”
“And those deep feelings I felt for you when you left didn’t make much sense at the time,” Shatty continued, looking all brave and confident like Julio was too cowardly to be. “But now things come together, Rictor. You are so much more to me than just a friend, this I know. And if that is what you feel…”
Rictor’s breath hitched, and he nodded. “Si.”
“Then I would be yours eternally,” he vowed. “I could never pledge myself to anyone else. It is one thing I am very sure of.”
And even though things suddenly got easier, it didn’t make them any less scary. “Dios, 'Star…”
“Julio I do believe I have felt this way about you for a long time now,” the warrior clasped Rictor’s other hand in his as well. “And I promise you that will never change.”
Rictor licked his lips. “Si; and the same goes for me too, amigo.”
Both boys stood only inches away from one another, tightly hanging onto each other’s hands as though they were life lines. No words could ever effectively describe what Rictor was feeling right then; in one day he’d seen his best friend die, suffered from anguish and grief, seen him come back to life, and told him he loved him. Never had he exposed himself to someone that way, and while the idea made him extremely nervous it was also accompanied by a wonderful sense of relief. For the first time Rictor honestly felt that things were going to be all right.
Shatterstar blinked and moved his hand up to the back of Julio’s neck. “I am glad. My greatest fear was that you would never return my feelings. Thank-you, Julio.”
Rictor leaned into the touch. “No…thank-you; for staying alive for me.”
'Star nodded slightly before they leaned into each other, lips softly and slowly coming into contact. A wave of warmth and adoration came with Shatty’s touch, and Rictor melted against it. His lips were so soft and so new -- such unfamiliar territory -- but easily something Rictor could memorize and remember for as long he lived. When they finally pulled apart, the warrior gave him a determined look.
“I understand why humans like such contact now,” he admitted.
Rictor couldn’t help but smile at that. “Good, I’m glad.”
Shatty nodded his head and pulled him back to the bed. Rictor sat next to him, unable to look away. “You can sleep on my bed if you want,” Shatterstar offered. “I would be unhappy if you had to settle with the cot.”
Rictor bit back a laugh. “Whatever you want.”
Shatterstar gave him an intense look. “I would very much like for you to.”
Rictor’s heart slammed against the wall of his chest. “‘Kay.”
'Star raised his hand again and settled it along the bottom of Rictor’s cheek, and leaned in again to kiss him. Julio sighed happily and returned it, letting his hands travel up the warrior’s hard, bare chest. The kiss was deeper that time; Rictor pushed his tongue through his lips and traced it along Shatty’s bottom lip until the warrior opened his mouth to greet the adventurous muscle with his own. The movements were slow and cautious at first, both boys just taking a moment to adjust to the feel of each other -- but it was only seconds until their mouths were wrestling at a more frantic pace. Julio slid his arms around 'Star’s shoulders and tugged on him a bit, giving Shatty the invitation to move down to the mattress with him. The warrior quickly complied, and adjusted his legs underneath of him as he laid Julio down. When they finally settled, 'Star pulled back and looked down at the Mexican through thick lashes.
“Julio…” he murmured.
Rictor kissed him softly again. “Yeah?”
“You make me very happy,” he told him.
Rictor’s heart swelled at that declaration. “You make me happy too, amigo.”
'Star must have been content with that bit of reassurance because he pushed Rictor’s hair away from his face and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Brushing his lips lightly across the curves of his face, 'Star explored Julio happily and curiously, leaving the Mexican to his own devices. He welcomed the touch, just loving the feel of Shatty moving against him. All Rictor could do was touch him. Placing his hands on the muscular chest, Julio concentrated on 'Star’s heart beat and the expansion of his ribs as he breathed.
He was alive.
And so much love exploded through Rictor’s body at the thought. He had come so close to losing him, and then what? He never would have been able to feel this wonderful and amazing and liberated…nor would he have ever been able to feel Shatterstar’s lips against his skin, tickling him and sending jolts of desire through his body. Julio Richter would have died never knowing just how wonderful it was to touch him.
Shatterstar pulled away once more. “Julio?”
Rictor opened his eyes and stared at him. “Yeah?”
“You’re crying,” he told him.
“Oh,” Rictor replied dumbly, having not even noticed.
“Are you sad?” 'Star asked him, lifting his large hand to wipe the few stray tears away with his thumb.
“No,” Rictor told him, feeling a little foolish. “I’m happy.”
“It’s okay,” 'Star whispered, and pressed a gentle kiss on one of his eyelids.
“I know,” Rictor nodded, swallowing hard as he did so. “I’m just…you’re alive, and I know it sounds dumb, but…”
“It does not,” 'Star told him. “You’d never sound dumb to my ears.”
Rictor breathed shakily and pulled 'Star down to him. “I just need to…amigo…” he whispered and pressed a hard lingering kiss against his neck and down along his collarbone. Mocha colored hands pushed through long locks of hair, allowing fingers to tangle through it messily. Shatterstar let out a low whimper as Rictor kissed and licked his chest -- and Julio wanted to make it a point to feel the shocking kick of Shatty’s heart below his lips. He was alive and Rictor was so madly in love with him for it that it hurt.
Shatterstar moaned again, and pushed a hand beneath Rictor’s t-shirt. The contact was shockingly warm against the flesh of the Mexican’s belly, and he could not help but arch his back forward to get more of it. 'Star took advantage and dipped his head, finally managing to catch Rictor off guard. Their mouths collided once more; hesitance and curiosity aside that time, their tongues met half way between their lips and tangled together frantically. Rictor couldn’t stop the moan that rumbled in his throat as they kissed, and the sound prompted Shatty to push the t-shirt up and over Rictor’s chest. The boys broke away for only a second as Rictor let him pull it off of him completely, and as soon as it was gone they pressed together again.
Large hands moved across Julio’s chest and sides, feeling him all over so quickly that Rictor could hardly keep track of where they were from one moment to the next. Not a single callous or imperfection marred those hands -- the body had been untouched and unmoved for many years, and Shatterstar had not even got the chance to use them to work yet.
Julio’s body was the first thing Shatterstar’s new vessel of life had the opportunity to touch.
Rictor pushed his hips up and kissed Star fiercely. He managed to outmaneuver the warrior’s probing tongue, and wrapped his lips around it tightly and sucked. Shatty shivered at the feel and let his hands roam lower down Rictor’s belly. The Mexican thrusted up against him again, and made himself moan from the friction between 'Star’s powerful thigh muscle and Julio’s ever growing erection. Shatty took the initiative then to press the leg against him tighter, testing out the response before going the distance. Rictor whimpered against the warrior’s mouth. “Oh, 'Star…”
Shatty pushed his fingers through the small trail of hair beneath Rictor’s navel and let them trace along the waist of his pants. Rictor’s body practically jolted in response, and he clutched on to that red hair tighter. “Dios!”
The warrior hummed and kissed along Rictor’s chin, making his way back along the sharp jaw line until he reached his neck. As soon as he got there he opened his lips and nipped at the flesh, eliciting yet another whimper from Ric.
But as good as that mouth felt, Rictor couldn’t at all get his mind away from that wandering hand. The large fingers were sifting through the thick hair down there, and just a brush of a touch was enough to make Julio want to explode from anticipation. Blood pounded between his ears and his breathing became ragged. Rictor swallowed and thrusted his hips against 'Star one more time. “Please…” he whispered hoarsely.
Shatty sucked the flesh of his neck again and simultaneously popped open the button on Rictor’s pants with his hand. The Mexican choked back a groan at the first taste of freedom from the constriction of his clothes. Teasingly, 'Star traced his finger along the length of Rictor’s cock before making his way back to the zipper. Rictor was practically breaking into a sweat by that point.
“Julio?”
Rictor managed to force his eyes open. “Yeah?”
“Are you sure you are okay with this? You seem rather restless…”
Rictor shook his head from its scrambled state and looked at his new lover. Silver eyes were staring back at him curiously. The Mexican swallowed, suddenly remembering that 'Star had never made it that far before, and it was all new territory for him. And besides Julio’s little incident in Mexico -- which he hated to even count -- he hadn’t really either.
“Trust me, amigo, that’s an okay thing,” he assured, pressing a kiss against his lips. To prove it to him, Rictor reached his own hand down between them, and firmly cupped 'Star’s stiffened groin.
“Za’s Vid!” Shatty yelped and looked at Rictor with a comical expression. The warrior looked down at himself, and then back up at Julio. “I believe my new body works.”
Rictor could not help but laugh through his clenched teeth, feeling the large member in his hand. “Yeah…it definitely does.”
Shaking slightly from Rictor’s grip, 'Star managed to push the Mexican’s pants down around his hips, freeing his cock completely. The lack of constriction made Julio breathe out a long drawn out moan, and he threw his head back against the mattress. “Hmmm, Dios!”
'Star watched him curiously, and placed a kiss on his nose. “I love seeing you this way, Julio.” Ridding him of the pants, Shatterstar fingered the soft material of Rictor’s underwear, watching him writhe beneath him while simultaneously thrusting himself into Julio’s palm. The boys just stared at each other affectionately, adoring the feel of the other on them.
Rictor bit his lip, silently agreeing with the warrior’s words. 'Star was stiff as hell beneath his fingers, and the feel of it made Rictor want to explode with desire. It was the first time he had ever touched another man that way, and it was breathtakingly amazing to feel him growing so aroused. The Mexican licked his lips and pressed another kiss against Shatty’s before being the first to push his hand down Star’s shorts and touch him flesh to flesh.
Shatty’s mouth dropped open, and he stared at Rictor with wide eyes. “Fekt…”
Rictor smiled at him. “How’s that? That all right?”
“Why…yes,” Shatty tossed his head back, shaking his hair from his face. “That feels excellent.” The warrior pushed his head forward again, looking down at Julio with complete adoration. He mimicked his actions, tugging at Rictor’s underwear until they joined his pants at the foot of the bed. “Oh Julio,” silver eyes traveled down the Mexican’s now naked body. “You are beautiful.”
Rictor blushed madly as 'Star admired him; it was not very often someone said that to him. “Uh, gracias, amigo,” he whispered timidly. 'Star just smiled in return, and pushed off his own shorts. Both men lay naked together on the bed, just staring and taking each other in for the very first time.
Rictor’s hand shakily gripped the large cock, and he swallowed. “Dios…”
Star bent down and placed a firm kiss on Julio’s mouth. "Soñé una vez acerca de esto."
Rictor blushed again, pressing himself tighter against 'Star as he thrusted into his hand. “Me too.”
Shatty took that as a sign to continue further, and pumped his fist along the length of Julio’s erection, causing the Mexican to moan loudly. The warrior covered his mouth with his own, preventing any sort of unwanted attention from the others in the small bunker base. Rictor just let the sound rumble through Shatty’s mouth, completely melting against him.
And moments later the thought occurred to Julio to return the favor. He had been gripping Shatty’s dick in his hand tightly as the warrior jerked him off, and Rictor had been too stunned to form a coherent enough thought, let alone to focus on pumping him back. But as soon as he moved his hand along the length -- all the way up to the top of the head, and quickly back down to the base -- 'Star threw his head back and practically growled. The sight of it caused a surge of lust to shoot through Rictor’s body, and he pumped his fist again.
It only took a few moments of the touching for Shatterstar to reach his climax. Rictor wasn’t entirely sure if the warrior had ever even gone that far before, but he seemed absolutely stunned and amazed about it -- and that was just fine with him. Just seeing him arch that way -- hard, chiseled muscles contracting and bulging as he did so -- and watching those cloudy eyes pierce through his soul like knives as he cried out his name…it was enough to bring Julio there as well. The Mexican fucked 'Star’s hand fast and frantically and shook wildly when he came.
“Rictor,” Shatterstar breathed, and kissed his panting mouth. “You are shaking…vibrating.”
The Mexican hadn’t noticed. “Oh uh…” he panted some more. “Madre de Dios, 'Star.”
The Cadre warrior just pressed his lips against Rictor’s softly, kissing him firmly and lovingly. Rictor smiled against his mouth, and once more pushed his tongue between their lips and lazily explored 'Star’s mouth with it. Shatty was up for it, apparently, and followed it around with his own. And they lay there, clutching each other tightly and just loving the feel of it. And for the first time in months Rictor felt great.
Shatty pulled away and pushed himself off of Julio and lay down next to him on the bed. The Mexican just watched him with tired eyes, and 'Star gave him a startling smile. “Can we just sleep like this? I don’t want to put my clothes back on.”
Rictor snorted at that, and laid his head on the strong chest as 'Star settled next to him. “I wouldn’t ever force you to.”
Shatty kissed his temple. “Good.”
Rictor let his eyes flutter closed when Shatterstar had leaned over and flicked off his lamp. Darkness enveloped the room, allowing the two men to let their exhaustion kick in. The smell of the warrior invaded Rictor’s senses, and the feel of him against his skin gave Julio a comfort he’d never felt before. Everything seemed right in that moment, and for the first time in many years Julio Esteban Richter was able to smile and sleep peacefully.
It had only taken months of heartache, but it had been completely worth it.
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(1) Translates roughly to “I dreamed once about this.” Correct me if I am wrong ;D
Category: X-Force
Characters: Rictor, Shatterstar, and a little bit of X-Force
Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama, Fluff
Rated: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t claim to. Don’t bug me.
Summary: Takes place between X-Force #61 and 62. Shatterstar was thought to meet his untimely end, and Rictor regretted the things that happened in the past. They say the past cannot be undone…but it can pave the road for the future.
Part 1 - For the Best
Part 2 - Just Trying to Kill the Pain
Part 3 - Feel My World Crumble
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time stands still.
It was a phrase he had heard before, but never once had experienced. To Rictor, time went by and never stopped, and more often than not it moved so fast that he barely noticed it at all. But sometimes it moved really slowly, like when he was doing something he was not interested in, or if there were places that he would much rather be. In fact, even then sometimes it would seem that it was going backwards.
But it never stopped.
Not until that day.
There was a cold and lonely place that existed in the dark recesses of Julio Richter’s mind, one that he had not known of until then. It was a place where all thoughts were halted and all emotions numbed. Only blackness remained and he was trapped inside alone, and felt nothing. In the spirit of utter hopelessness that place consumed him, murdering his soul and stealing from him everything that he had once held dear.
At one point, Rictor was sure he knew what was important to him. Some things he held at arms length; his skin was almost like a filter in that sense that only selective things were allowed to pass through and really affect him on the inside where it counted. There were not many things or people that were permitted access to that place.
Because when he fell, he fell hard even if it took him awhile to do so. Throughout his life most of the people that had made their way to that warm, happy place had eventually left him. Some people, like his father and a few select friends, had died. Other people - like his cousin Omar or girls like Rahne Sinclair - had up and left him, betrayed him, or disappointed him. And for every person that damaged that very sensitive part of him, another thick layer of wall added on to his cold outer shell. Eventually only one person remained inside -- and that was Shatterstar.
Shatterstar was different from all the rest, and no matter what Julio was sure that 'Star would never intentionally destroy that one last shred of love within him. The Cadre warrior was from another planet -- was another being -- he was many things that those people of the past could never be. Dishonor, mistrust, and disloyalty were not words in his vocabulary. Shatterstar fought for the things that were important to him with a passion and devotion unheard of in a normal human being. Rictor knew this, and he also knew that once he had made the grade to make that list of things that Shatty held dear, he would never be off of it so long as he stayed true to his friend.
Shatterstar was the one constant Rictor always expected to have in his life.
But all of that had changed that day. It did not commence due to betrayal or hurt, nor did Shatterstar intentionally rip Julio’s heart out of his chest. Instead, 'Star had been killed; mortally wounded in front of Julio’s very eyes.
And not even three hours before that very incident Rictor had just returned to the warrior’s side after a leave of absence with every intention of clearing up things between them. For months the Mexican had been bothered with growing feelings; confusion for that looming thing that existed between them. It was something that he had not been able to explain or understand before -- which was why he left. But after taking some time to himself everything became crystal clear to him. Julio Richter had every intention of returning to his friend and letting him know that he had worked it out. He wanted him to know the truth of his feelings, and the depth of the emotion he held for him.
But then it was too late.
And six hours after the fall of Shatterstar, Julio Richter wondered if he would now be able to get that chance. Spiral had gone and pulled through for the team, somehow using her amazing abilities to save the Cadre warrior’s life and bring him back from the dead. Spiral had always been such an enigma; someone with an agenda that both worried and frustrated Shatterstar. She was very unpredictable and her intentions unclear. But that day, the most important day, she had pulled through. And not only had she saved Shatterstar from his defeat, but she had also reached down and pulled Julio from the dark recesses of his mind and gave him back his heart.
Spiral had given both boys their lives back.
It had been a rather strange occurrence, and Shatterstar was unsure about the new changes, but Julio did not care. Whether or not he was Gaveedra-7 the bioengineered alien, Benjamin Russell the Boston runaway, or just Shatterstar the warrior, Rictor loved him all the same. He was his friend and the same person he trusted with his life -- and that would never change so long as he lived.
And sitting at the side of the room back at X-Force’s safe house, Rictor could not take his eyes off of him. Shatterstar stood annoyed and amused and curious as ever, almost as if nothing had ever happened. Spiral and Longshot had accompanied them back to Earth for transport, and had left a short time after. Only X-Force remained, and even if 'Star was not, they were all still reeling over the events of the day.
Most of the team had surrounded the warrior, asking him how he felt and making sure that he was okay. Rictor could tell he was getting rather testy at the attention, and snorted a few times when 'Star had snapped at them. Shatty hated nothing more than being poked and prodded at, and when he said that he was okay he made it a point to damn well insist it.
“Can I please leave?” he sulked. “There is no reason for me to stand in this room any longer. I would like to shower. And I would like to sleep.”
Cable folded his arms. “We just want to make sure you’re okay. I was there, Shatterstar, and I know that you went through a lot.”
Rolling his eyes, Shatty bent his knees and propelled himself into the air, back flipping until he landed nearly ten feet away. “I am fine! Would you like me to show you more? Where are my swords…?” he added as an after thought.
Rictor smirked as Cable just looked to Domino for help. The dark haired woman only shook her head and approached him. “'Star, you can hit the hay, all right? Just take it easy, for at least everyone else’s sake.”
“I can do that,” he vowed to Domino.
“I’m tired too,” Tabby yawned from the other side of the room. Her head was rested on an already sleeping Caliban, who was next to Roberto who also seemed to be dozing off. “I think we should all go to bed. And get a freaking vacation.”
“Aye,” Terry nodded and padded across the room until she was close enough to 'Star to place a hand on his forearm. “I’m glad yuir okay, Shatty, but I’m beat.”
He nodded. “You should rest.”
Cable sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Fine, fine, get your butts to bed then. Refrain from blowing anything up and I’ll think about giving you the day off tomorrow.”
The others answered with a series of groans and moans and one by one filed from the room and up into the upper levels of the bunker. When the space was only occupied by 'Star, Ric, Domino, and Nate, conversation picked up again.
“Are you staying?” Domino asked the Mexican.
Rictor looked at her. “Is that an invitation?”
“You know you were always welcomed back here,” she told him. “We expected you back at some point.”
Rictor looked at 'Star, who was staring at him intensely. There was no way he was leaving him again. “Yeah, I’d like to.”
“Good,” Cable replied. “We could use the man power. Things have been a little hectic since Onslaught.”
Rictor nodded. “So I heard. How long you planning on stayin’ in this joint though? It looks kinda small…”
Cable eyed Domino before speaking. “Yeah it is. Most of us are sharing rooms because of it, but we had no choice. It was a last resort for protection.”
“Right,” Rictor sighed, and rubbed at his face tiredly.
“I am not sharing quarters currently,” 'Star announced. “But I wouldn’t mind to with Julio.”
Domino looked at Rictor. “You okay with that? I’m sure we got a cot lying around somewhere…”
Rictor shrugged. “Yeah sure, whatever.”
“Can we go?” 'Star whined again. “I don’t want to stand here anymore!”
Cable shook his head. “Yeah, go ahead. But just so you know, both of you, it’s good to have you back.”
The boys looked at each other before they both nodded. “Thanks,” Rictor muttered.
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The room was cold and bare. There was not much inside save for Shatty’s bed, Julio’s dinky new cot, and a small television set perched on an equally cool, steel stand. It occurred to Rictor that 'Star did not really have many of his things with him, and he wondered briefly just how much damage this Onslaught incident really did.
But, then again, 'Star was never really the type of guy to keep a bunch of possessions. As long as he had his TV, clothes, and swords he was good. He spent most of his time training, and that did not require him to have much else. With the amount of moving around X-Force did anyways, it made sense.
Rictor sat on the edge of the bed anxiously and waited for the warrior’s return. He had gone in to have a shower just moments before, leaving Julio with a few minutes to prepare himself for what was to come. What was he going to say? He had never been real good at the talking thing -- especially when it came to his emotions -- and he was more worried than anything that he would come off the wrong way, or look like an ass, or something.
Hell, for all he knew Shatterstar was not even into guys.
But what was between them was there, and Julio could feel it - there was no possible way to ignore it. He had been stupid enough to think he could deny it, but Rictor knew that Shatterstar was a fuck of a lot smarter than he was no matter how big and scary that thing may be. And Shatterstar did not get scared anyways; he was…
“Julio?” his deep accented voice filled the room, and it made Rictor jump. The bigger man was wearing only a pair of cotton shorts, and his long hair hung damp past his shoulders. His eyebrows were pinched inward as he stared down at the cot on the floor. “They want you to sleep on that!?”
Rictor shrugged. “S’no big deal. I’ve slept on worse.”
Shatterstar eyed him. “Even Theresa would be too big for that.”
“I can sleep on the floor instead if it’d make you feel better,” Julio joked.
Shatty rolled his eyes. “No, it would not.”
“How are you feeling?” Rictor asked, cautiously changing the subject. “I know you’re probably sick of hearing that question, but I just need to know.”
“I’m better,” 'Star murmured and strode across the room to sit next to Rictor on his bed. “I feel better than I have in a long time.”
Rictor blinked. “You died today. You actually…died. I saw you…”
“I am fine,” he insisted. “I do not really remember much, truthfully, but I feel - what is the word? Complete?”
Rictor nodded and swallowed. “I thought I lost you.”
“I know,” he bowed his head. “Domino did not seem impressed with your behavior.”
Rictor snorted. “Yeah well had it been Cable she would’ve acted the same way.”
“I agree,” Shatterstar looked at him then. “I believe she may love Cable even if she does not admit it, but it is obvious. It is hard not to act rash when someone you…care for gets hurt.”
“Si,” Rictor croaked, and had to clear his throat. “Look I just wanna say, you know, that I’m…sorry.”
'Star furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re sorry? For what? You did not kill me.”
Rictor’s stomach turned at that thought. “No, but I left you. And…you know…maybe this…you know…”
“I don’t blame you,” Shatterstar interrupted his babbling. “You should not think such things. You came back and that is what matters.”
Rictor twisted his fingers in his hands as he fought to hold back the overwhelming emotion that was surging through his body right then. So many words were on the tip of his tongue, but his brain was just not working. It was a lot easier to think about it alone at night in his bed, but sitting there right in front of 'Star made it so much more difficult. His fear and nervousness combined with his joy and happiness for Shatty being alive were clashing, and Rictor was pretty sure his heart was ready to explode out of his chest and thump onto the floor.
“Rictor?” 'Star questioned, lifting a hand and placing it on Julio’s fidgeting ones. “Are you all right? I’m sorry I died and hurt your feelings.”
Rictor burst out laughing at that declaration and the absurdity of it. “I don’t think it’s your fault you died.”
'Star sighed. “Well, I didn’t intend to. But I am glad that I managed to help destroy Mojo.”
“Yeah,” Rictor breathed. “You sure gave us a scare, amigo. I don’t know what I would have done if…”
“I was told that I almost died a few months ago as well,” Shatterstar scratched his chin and stared up at the ceiling distractedly. “Before this mess had started I got shot and nearly died.”
“What!?” Rictor exclaimed. “When did that…why didn’t you…what?!”
'Star finally brought his gaze back to Rictor. “When you left me at the airport I got shot in the chest by a machine gun point blank range. A woman was being held hostage so I decided to jump on the man.”
Rictor stared at him, stunned. “You did.”
“I did,” he nodded.
“That’s…”
“Unacceptable, I know,” 'Star smirked a little bit. “Cable was not very impressed with my actions, but I believe it is safe to say that I was not in a very happy state of mind. You had just left and all I wanted to do was stab someone, Julio, to be honest.”
“I had no idea…” Rictor muttered. “I wish you would’ve told me, amigo.”
“I just did,” 'Star pointed out. “I am all right, so there is nothing to worry about. You have to understand that I acted out very foolishly after you had left, but it helped me to understand all of these problems.”
“I feel like it’s my fault!” Rictor almost shouted at him. “Maybe if my stupid ass hadn’t of left then ya wouldn’t have gotten all confused anyways! Things would’ve just been fine and normal, and…”
“But then you wouldn’t have gotten your head back,” 'Star pointed out. “You said you had to leave and then you said you were happy because you were fixed. That is important to me as well.”
Rictor blinked dumbly. “Uh yeah…yeah, I guess so.”
'Star pulled his hand back and began to play around with his hair. “I regret being selfish. Your needs are much more important than me just wanting you around. You’ll have to forgive me; I have just never experienced such a feeling as I did when you left.”
Rictor felt his mouth dry out, and he swallowed. “Yeah? And what feeling was that?”
'Star turned to look at him. “You mean so much to me. I don’t think I can explain it well with words, but a very deep feeling inside of me made me very angry and sorrowful when you left.” He pushed his hair back. “I’m pretty sure I failed at functioning properly without you, Julio.”
“You…” Rictor swallowed and dipped his head when he felt his face burn hotly. “You mean…a lot to me, too…and…”
“Yes? You keep pausing.”
Rictor took a deep breath and dared to take a look at Shatterstar. “I really suck at this, okay?”
“So it seems,” Shatterstar sighed. “I do not know what you’re trying to say, and frankly Julio I am not very good at guessing games. So you should just say it.”
Rictor glared at him. “Well, Dios, 'Star! It’s not like you make it easy!”
“I’m just sitting here,” he scoffed. “I am not the one stuttering or interrupting you.”
“No you’re just making me feel dumb.”
“How?” he questioned with an intense stare. “I want you to talk, Julio, so talk to me. Right now.”
“You haven’t changed a bit,” Rictor’s face burned and he huffed and folded his arms. “You are so fucking difficult, you know that? You just point out all this crap that makes me want to smash my face off a wall!”
“I would be pretty concerned if you tried that,” 'Star gave him a strange look. “And I doubt your face would look very nice afterward.”
“No kidding! But at this rate it’d probably be an improvement, so there!” Rictor flailed his arms.
'Star caught one of his wrists before it smacked him in the face. “Julio stop spazzing.”
“You know what? Forget it!” Rictor glared and jumped up from the bed. “It’s impossible! You are fucking…I don’t even know, 'Star. I just wanna sit here and tell you how I feel and you’re making it impossible!”
'Star gave him a curious look. “Tell me how you feel? Do you have feelings, Julio?”
Rictor pointed at him, and felt his face heat up. “I --” he dropped his hand, having realized what he said. “Uh…somethin’ like that,” he muttered.
'Star blinked, and the corners of his mouth twitched upward a few times before the smile disappeared again. “I have seen this on television, and I do believe I know what you are referring to.”
Rictor scratched his head as felt himself blush. “Ha ha, well you know, maybe it’s just stomach cramps! In fact, I think I’m gonna puke…I’ll be right back.”
Shatterstar jumped up and landed in front of Rictor so that he was blocking the door. Rictor felt his heart leap up into his throat, and the situation got a whole lot more intense for him once 'Star was close enough for Julio to feel the heat radiating off of his body. The warrior placed his hands on Rictor’s forearms and held him in place. “You left…and that was what you had to figure out? Me?”
That annoying blush crept back up Rictor’s neck and invaded his face again. “Si.”
“I was not aware,” he told him.
Rictor swallowed. “Are you mad?”
The warrior gazed intensely into his eyes. “No.”
“I…” Rictor cleared his throat again. “I needed to know…I left because I just needed to be sure. If I woulda known what was gonna happen…”
Shatterstar shook his head. “Don’t beat yourself up for it, Julio.”
Rictor blinked back his emotions. “You don’t understand…I’ve never been that scared in my whole life, 'Star. I flipped -- I went cuckoo bananas, amigo! I said things to the others, I-I didn’t care what they thought, and I…”
Shatterstar watched him curiously. “You what?”
Rictor rubbed his face anxiously and tried his hardest to just push away all his fear and just fucking say it. “I just wanted you back with me.”
'Star nodded and reached out to him, his index finger tracing down Rictor’s forearm until he clasped onto his smaller hand. “And you were the very last thing I saw before I closed my eyes, Julio.”
Rictor’s heart sped up at that declaration, and he began to feel a little more confident. “I did, I wanted you…but, what killed me most was that I never got to tell you.”
'Star nodded. “I know the feeling.”
A surge of emotion spilled through him then, and he squeezed Shatty’s hand. “I want to make sure I…this never happens again.”
Shatterstar searched Rictor’s eyes with his own, pressed his lips into a tight line, and he nodded. “I feel more complete this way, Julio -- in this body; before I never felt things without being confused or misunderstanding. But this vessel is human and now things seem so much clearer.”
Rictor swallowed. “I’m glad.”
“And those deep feelings I felt for you when you left didn’t make much sense at the time,” Shatty continued, looking all brave and confident like Julio was too cowardly to be. “But now things come together, Rictor. You are so much more to me than just a friend, this I know. And if that is what you feel…”
Rictor’s breath hitched, and he nodded. “Si.”
“Then I would be yours eternally,” he vowed. “I could never pledge myself to anyone else. It is one thing I am very sure of.”
And even though things suddenly got easier, it didn’t make them any less scary. “Dios, 'Star…”
“Julio I do believe I have felt this way about you for a long time now,” the warrior clasped Rictor’s other hand in his as well. “And I promise you that will never change.”
Rictor licked his lips. “Si; and the same goes for me too, amigo.”
Both boys stood only inches away from one another, tightly hanging onto each other’s hands as though they were life lines. No words could ever effectively describe what Rictor was feeling right then; in one day he’d seen his best friend die, suffered from anguish and grief, seen him come back to life, and told him he loved him. Never had he exposed himself to someone that way, and while the idea made him extremely nervous it was also accompanied by a wonderful sense of relief. For the first time Rictor honestly felt that things were going to be all right.
Shatterstar blinked and moved his hand up to the back of Julio’s neck. “I am glad. My greatest fear was that you would never return my feelings. Thank-you, Julio.”
Rictor leaned into the touch. “No…thank-you; for staying alive for me.”
'Star nodded slightly before they leaned into each other, lips softly and slowly coming into contact. A wave of warmth and adoration came with Shatty’s touch, and Rictor melted against it. His lips were so soft and so new -- such unfamiliar territory -- but easily something Rictor could memorize and remember for as long he lived. When they finally pulled apart, the warrior gave him a determined look.
“I understand why humans like such contact now,” he admitted.
Rictor couldn’t help but smile at that. “Good, I’m glad.”
Shatty nodded his head and pulled him back to the bed. Rictor sat next to him, unable to look away. “You can sleep on my bed if you want,” Shatterstar offered. “I would be unhappy if you had to settle with the cot.”
Rictor bit back a laugh. “Whatever you want.”
Shatterstar gave him an intense look. “I would very much like for you to.”
Rictor’s heart slammed against the wall of his chest. “‘Kay.”
'Star raised his hand again and settled it along the bottom of Rictor’s cheek, and leaned in again to kiss him. Julio sighed happily and returned it, letting his hands travel up the warrior’s hard, bare chest. The kiss was deeper that time; Rictor pushed his tongue through his lips and traced it along Shatty’s bottom lip until the warrior opened his mouth to greet the adventurous muscle with his own. The movements were slow and cautious at first, both boys just taking a moment to adjust to the feel of each other -- but it was only seconds until their mouths were wrestling at a more frantic pace. Julio slid his arms around 'Star’s shoulders and tugged on him a bit, giving Shatty the invitation to move down to the mattress with him. The warrior quickly complied, and adjusted his legs underneath of him as he laid Julio down. When they finally settled, 'Star pulled back and looked down at the Mexican through thick lashes.
“Julio…” he murmured.
Rictor kissed him softly again. “Yeah?”
“You make me very happy,” he told him.
Rictor’s heart swelled at that declaration. “You make me happy too, amigo.”
'Star must have been content with that bit of reassurance because he pushed Rictor’s hair away from his face and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Brushing his lips lightly across the curves of his face, 'Star explored Julio happily and curiously, leaving the Mexican to his own devices. He welcomed the touch, just loving the feel of Shatty moving against him. All Rictor could do was touch him. Placing his hands on the muscular chest, Julio concentrated on 'Star’s heart beat and the expansion of his ribs as he breathed.
He was alive.
And so much love exploded through Rictor’s body at the thought. He had come so close to losing him, and then what? He never would have been able to feel this wonderful and amazing and liberated…nor would he have ever been able to feel Shatterstar’s lips against his skin, tickling him and sending jolts of desire through his body. Julio Richter would have died never knowing just how wonderful it was to touch him.
Shatterstar pulled away once more. “Julio?”
Rictor opened his eyes and stared at him. “Yeah?”
“You’re crying,” he told him.
“Oh,” Rictor replied dumbly, having not even noticed.
“Are you sad?” 'Star asked him, lifting his large hand to wipe the few stray tears away with his thumb.
“No,” Rictor told him, feeling a little foolish. “I’m happy.”
“It’s okay,” 'Star whispered, and pressed a gentle kiss on one of his eyelids.
“I know,” Rictor nodded, swallowing hard as he did so. “I’m just…you’re alive, and I know it sounds dumb, but…”
“It does not,” 'Star told him. “You’d never sound dumb to my ears.”
Rictor breathed shakily and pulled 'Star down to him. “I just need to…amigo…” he whispered and pressed a hard lingering kiss against his neck and down along his collarbone. Mocha colored hands pushed through long locks of hair, allowing fingers to tangle through it messily. Shatterstar let out a low whimper as Rictor kissed and licked his chest -- and Julio wanted to make it a point to feel the shocking kick of Shatty’s heart below his lips. He was alive and Rictor was so madly in love with him for it that it hurt.
Shatterstar moaned again, and pushed a hand beneath Rictor’s t-shirt. The contact was shockingly warm against the flesh of the Mexican’s belly, and he could not help but arch his back forward to get more of it. 'Star took advantage and dipped his head, finally managing to catch Rictor off guard. Their mouths collided once more; hesitance and curiosity aside that time, their tongues met half way between their lips and tangled together frantically. Rictor couldn’t stop the moan that rumbled in his throat as they kissed, and the sound prompted Shatty to push the t-shirt up and over Rictor’s chest. The boys broke away for only a second as Rictor let him pull it off of him completely, and as soon as it was gone they pressed together again.
Large hands moved across Julio’s chest and sides, feeling him all over so quickly that Rictor could hardly keep track of where they were from one moment to the next. Not a single callous or imperfection marred those hands -- the body had been untouched and unmoved for many years, and Shatterstar had not even got the chance to use them to work yet.
Julio’s body was the first thing Shatterstar’s new vessel of life had the opportunity to touch.
Rictor pushed his hips up and kissed Star fiercely. He managed to outmaneuver the warrior’s probing tongue, and wrapped his lips around it tightly and sucked. Shatty shivered at the feel and let his hands roam lower down Rictor’s belly. The Mexican thrusted up against him again, and made himself moan from the friction between 'Star’s powerful thigh muscle and Julio’s ever growing erection. Shatty took the initiative then to press the leg against him tighter, testing out the response before going the distance. Rictor whimpered against the warrior’s mouth. “Oh, 'Star…”
Shatty pushed his fingers through the small trail of hair beneath Rictor’s navel and let them trace along the waist of his pants. Rictor’s body practically jolted in response, and he clutched on to that red hair tighter. “Dios!”
The warrior hummed and kissed along Rictor’s chin, making his way back along the sharp jaw line until he reached his neck. As soon as he got there he opened his lips and nipped at the flesh, eliciting yet another whimper from Ric.
But as good as that mouth felt, Rictor couldn’t at all get his mind away from that wandering hand. The large fingers were sifting through the thick hair down there, and just a brush of a touch was enough to make Julio want to explode from anticipation. Blood pounded between his ears and his breathing became ragged. Rictor swallowed and thrusted his hips against 'Star one more time. “Please…” he whispered hoarsely.
Shatty sucked the flesh of his neck again and simultaneously popped open the button on Rictor’s pants with his hand. The Mexican choked back a groan at the first taste of freedom from the constriction of his clothes. Teasingly, 'Star traced his finger along the length of Rictor’s cock before making his way back to the zipper. Rictor was practically breaking into a sweat by that point.
“Julio?”
Rictor managed to force his eyes open. “Yeah?”
“Are you sure you are okay with this? You seem rather restless…”
Rictor shook his head from its scrambled state and looked at his new lover. Silver eyes were staring back at him curiously. The Mexican swallowed, suddenly remembering that 'Star had never made it that far before, and it was all new territory for him. And besides Julio’s little incident in Mexico -- which he hated to even count -- he hadn’t really either.
“Trust me, amigo, that’s an okay thing,” he assured, pressing a kiss against his lips. To prove it to him, Rictor reached his own hand down between them, and firmly cupped 'Star’s stiffened groin.
“Za’s Vid!” Shatty yelped and looked at Rictor with a comical expression. The warrior looked down at himself, and then back up at Julio. “I believe my new body works.”
Rictor could not help but laugh through his clenched teeth, feeling the large member in his hand. “Yeah…it definitely does.”
Shaking slightly from Rictor’s grip, 'Star managed to push the Mexican’s pants down around his hips, freeing his cock completely. The lack of constriction made Julio breathe out a long drawn out moan, and he threw his head back against the mattress. “Hmmm, Dios!”
'Star watched him curiously, and placed a kiss on his nose. “I love seeing you this way, Julio.” Ridding him of the pants, Shatterstar fingered the soft material of Rictor’s underwear, watching him writhe beneath him while simultaneously thrusting himself into Julio’s palm. The boys just stared at each other affectionately, adoring the feel of the other on them.
Rictor bit his lip, silently agreeing with the warrior’s words. 'Star was stiff as hell beneath his fingers, and the feel of it made Rictor want to explode with desire. It was the first time he had ever touched another man that way, and it was breathtakingly amazing to feel him growing so aroused. The Mexican licked his lips and pressed another kiss against Shatty’s before being the first to push his hand down Star’s shorts and touch him flesh to flesh.
Shatty’s mouth dropped open, and he stared at Rictor with wide eyes. “Fekt…”
Rictor smiled at him. “How’s that? That all right?”
“Why…yes,” Shatty tossed his head back, shaking his hair from his face. “That feels excellent.” The warrior pushed his head forward again, looking down at Julio with complete adoration. He mimicked his actions, tugging at Rictor’s underwear until they joined his pants at the foot of the bed. “Oh Julio,” silver eyes traveled down the Mexican’s now naked body. “You are beautiful.”
Rictor blushed madly as 'Star admired him; it was not very often someone said that to him. “Uh, gracias, amigo,” he whispered timidly. 'Star just smiled in return, and pushed off his own shorts. Both men lay naked together on the bed, just staring and taking each other in for the very first time.
Rictor’s hand shakily gripped the large cock, and he swallowed. “Dios…”
Star bent down and placed a firm kiss on Julio’s mouth. "Soñé una vez acerca de esto."
Rictor blushed again, pressing himself tighter against 'Star as he thrusted into his hand. “Me too.”
Shatty took that as a sign to continue further, and pumped his fist along the length of Julio’s erection, causing the Mexican to moan loudly. The warrior covered his mouth with his own, preventing any sort of unwanted attention from the others in the small bunker base. Rictor just let the sound rumble through Shatty’s mouth, completely melting against him.
And moments later the thought occurred to Julio to return the favor. He had been gripping Shatty’s dick in his hand tightly as the warrior jerked him off, and Rictor had been too stunned to form a coherent enough thought, let alone to focus on pumping him back. But as soon as he moved his hand along the length -- all the way up to the top of the head, and quickly back down to the base -- 'Star threw his head back and practically growled. The sight of it caused a surge of lust to shoot through Rictor’s body, and he pumped his fist again.
It only took a few moments of the touching for Shatterstar to reach his climax. Rictor wasn’t entirely sure if the warrior had ever even gone that far before, but he seemed absolutely stunned and amazed about it -- and that was just fine with him. Just seeing him arch that way -- hard, chiseled muscles contracting and bulging as he did so -- and watching those cloudy eyes pierce through his soul like knives as he cried out his name…it was enough to bring Julio there as well. The Mexican fucked 'Star’s hand fast and frantically and shook wildly when he came.
“Rictor,” Shatterstar breathed, and kissed his panting mouth. “You are shaking…vibrating.”
The Mexican hadn’t noticed. “Oh uh…” he panted some more. “Madre de Dios, 'Star.”
The Cadre warrior just pressed his lips against Rictor’s softly, kissing him firmly and lovingly. Rictor smiled against his mouth, and once more pushed his tongue between their lips and lazily explored 'Star’s mouth with it. Shatty was up for it, apparently, and followed it around with his own. And they lay there, clutching each other tightly and just loving the feel of it. And for the first time in months Rictor felt great.
Shatty pulled away and pushed himself off of Julio and lay down next to him on the bed. The Mexican just watched him with tired eyes, and 'Star gave him a startling smile. “Can we just sleep like this? I don’t want to put my clothes back on.”
Rictor snorted at that, and laid his head on the strong chest as 'Star settled next to him. “I wouldn’t ever force you to.”
Shatty kissed his temple. “Good.”
Rictor let his eyes flutter closed when Shatterstar had leaned over and flicked off his lamp. Darkness enveloped the room, allowing the two men to let their exhaustion kick in. The smell of the warrior invaded Rictor’s senses, and the feel of him against his skin gave Julio a comfort he’d never felt before. Everything seemed right in that moment, and for the first time in many years Julio Esteban Richter was able to smile and sleep peacefully.
It had only taken months of heartache, but it had been completely worth it.
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(1) Translates roughly to “I dreamed once about this.” Correct me if I am wrong ;D