Y-O, Day 5
Another sea day. It’s a long haul from Curacao to St. Martin. But a good day to be stuck on a boat.
We did have plenty of things planned for Thursday. And we got to most of them. It was a good day.
Got up for breakfast around 10:30 or so, to the largest racket I’d heard onboard so far. A pounding on the door that could only mean the ship was going under and we all had to mooster. I sat straight up quickly, in the top bunk, a narrow miss at an opportunity to look like I had Down’s Syndrome. Scrambled half down the later and half standing on Zach’s bed and ran to the door.
Apparently I was mistaken. The sound emanating from my door was from none other than Kevin’s massive ham-hock arms. Moosifer and Mini-Moosifer had told him that all the kids were having trouble waking up, so Kevin was doing his part by beating the door down with his bare hands. (Kevin’s a dock worker in London. You can imagine the size of his arms.) When I found out what it was, I was actually surprised to see anything left on the doorframe.
In any case, he did his job and woke us all up. Our room, Train’s room and Jesse’s room. We figured since we were up, we’d get breakfast. So we headed to the Jammer and gorged ourselves. I swear I put on at least 10 pounds on that cruise, probably more. But it felt so, so good.
After breakfast we went back to the rooms, changed into our bathing suits and headed down to the pools. It was a beautiful day out, and both Moosifers were already up claiming chairs on the top deck. We headed up, left our stuff with them, lotioned up and headed down to the pool.
By the way, apparently it takes quite a lot to get a ship from Curacao to St. Martin in a day. The captain was booking. The whole ship was windy, rocking, everything. Lot of people got motion sickness. Not me though. I’m a rock. Hoo-ah.
I can’t remember if I talked about the little kid or not the other day, so I’ll mention him again. This little brat lived in the pool. None of us ever saw his parents once. His cruise was floating in a saltwater pool, annoying the piss out of anyone who came near him. He’d start doing cannonballs next to you, jump on your back and try to pull you under, anything he could do to get in the way. When he knocked my beer into the pool, that was the last straw. I picked the kid up by both arms, spun around twice and launched him into the pool. After that he just cursed at me from a distance.
He actually started to beat up some other little kid too. He was a chubby kid, and the kid he was beating up was a little stick figure. The chubby one would walk up to him, say “Hey!” and throw him in the water, repeatedly. Until the thin kid’s father came over, said “Pretty funny huh?” and threw the chubby one in the water. Then he helped his son throw the chubby one in the water a few times. Hilarious. The whole pool was cheering him on. Little bastard.
Anyway, we wanted to get out to the pool early because Thursday was the Belly Flop contest. Zach was adamant about entering, even though he’s only 160 pounds now. In his fat kid days, he would have done great, but now we were a little worried. Some of the other contestants entering had names like Buddha and Big Daddy. We didn’t think Zach had the stomach for it.
Jesse decided to enter too, and so did Jimmy, Craig’s dad. So we had three people in the mix. And a lot in the crowd. This bodes well.
Jesse’s first jump, well, he sucked. He launched himself airborne from the poolside, perfect stall to splash the stomach. And then he gave up and protected his marbles. He pulled his hips back to keep his splashmaster from getting pounded, and it cost him big points.
Zach’s first jump was pretty good, I think he placed in second. He didn’t pull back, but he also didn’t have the weight of the other guys.
Both of their second jumps were top notch, and they were from The Widowmaker, a large wooden box placed poolside to give another 3 feet of height for the jump. Funny thing was, most of the guys were so big that they couldn’t get up on the box without help. Ah well. The two of them could have placed, hell I think they were both in third for a while. Until Jerry from New Hampshire came up. 6’4, 310 pounds, with a battle cry of “My family is complete and I’m too big to sleep with my wife. I fear Nothing.” That man hung his balls out to dry and soaked half the audience. I tip my hat to him.
After the flop contest, where we actually didn’t win anything, we went back up to the lounge chairs for a few. Zach was alright, but Jesse had massive water burns on his stomach, so he was slathering himself with aloe. Poor guy, it was almost bad enough that he couldn’t splash with his women later. Almost, but not quite.
Then we got the Amazings together. Myself, Zach, Jesse, Train, Jeremy and Craig. A 6 man team like none the world has ever seen before. Our goal?
The Adventure of the Seas Volleyball Tournament.
We gathered the team, put on our sneakers and headed for the basketball court to warm up. Got there and found that it was still set up for basketball for another half hour, so we warmed up by shooting around.
Let me tell you, 6 white guys playing basketball is pretty pathetic. I’m pretty damn bad, so all I did was lay up and rebound. And I even sucked at that. Oh well.
Half hour later, they showed up to convert the court into a volleyball arena. Zach put the whole team together, so he went to sign us up. When they announced the 9 teams later, apparently we were the only team with a name. We strode onto the court as “The Afternoon Delights,” modeled after the song that was sung by Ron Burgundy in Anchorman.
We were team #5, so 1 played 4 first, then 2 played us. We thumped them and moved into the next round. After that I believe 1 played 9, who got an auto-bye into the second round since there were the odd number team. I think we played 6 the next round. Again, we won, but this time only by 4 points. We got a bye on the semis, because of the odd number of teams again. So winning our second game put us straight into the finals. Nice.
One of our big advantages was our 7th man. We had half our group on the sidelines with us, it was great. We got chants of Y-O, Afternoon Delights, and general heckling of the other teams. You really can’t stop a team with that good of a fan base.
Final round was a good game. We took an early lead, 5-2. They fought back to get 8-6. A win is 11 points, and you have to win by two. The next 20 minutes were spent going back and forth. 8-7. 9-8. 11-10. At one point, the other team hit a ball to our side that bounced right in front of Craig, maybe half a foot. It bounced right up to him, so he played it. They kept right on volleying, even though they knew it hit the ground. They thought it was a joke. Then the referee said point for our team. It was great. By them playing it, they validated the point. Crazy.
At the time it was around 12-11, there was a ball right up by my head, on the front line. Time for another big spike. I go up, do a half spin and start to put it down. Then I feel it. The club. Zach wanted the spike too, and came from across the court to get it. He missed the ball completely, but nailed my face dead on. Forearm right to the bridge of my nose. Cracked my BRAND NEW sunglasses in half, cut both sides of my nose with them, and blinded me for a sec. My first thought upon landing was “Oh man. I can’t even get another pair.”
The sacrifice was worth it though. My spike tied it at 12-12, and we took the next two points to win 14-12. We own the ship. Matt came running onto the court with a bucket of Bud Light, one for each of us to celebrate. We all ripped them open with our teeth and started chugging. Then the referee came out and gave us our medals and t-shirts. We took a few pictures, which I’ll put up later on today. The medals didn’t come off any of our necks for the next 3 days.
And let me tell you, when you have that much gold around your neck, the ladies love you. Those things started so many conversations with so many random people, guys and girls alike. But only the ladies get to sit on your lap and admire.
At times like that, there’s only one thing to do: Strut. So after we won, we took a victory lap of the ship, showing off, gloating, being admired. It was nice.
Then we headed back to the rooms to relax for a while, since being out in the sun, flopping and volleyball can tire a person out. We decided that since the Afternoon Delights just won a championship, we’d pay homage to Ron Burgundy by watching Anchorman. So we went to Jesse’s room, everyone piled in and we turned on the in-room movie setup.
Then we remembered that originally Jesse was in my room, and Zach was in with Merri. So on the accounts screen on the TV, it said Zach and Merri. We checked Zach’s account, and in 5 days he had spent exactly $18.04. He bought one beer for himself, a drink for his cuddlefriend, and something else. Crazy. So instantly we decided to use his account for the movie.
We ordered it, and it started up halfway through. The bastards. We called the front desk and they said to shut off the TV for 5 minutes, let it sit and then try ordering again, and it should be back to the beginning. They also said don’t worry, we wouldn’t be charged. So we did. The movie ended up starting 10 minutes earlier than it was before. And we got charged for 2 movies, tripling Zach’s bill to almost $60. We yelled at the front desk some more, then finally gave up and watched the second half of the movie, starting with one of the best scenes anyway, “Dirty Pirate Hooker”.
Around this point I realized I had left my stuff up on the top deck. My stuff being my sandals that I had just gotten for Christmas, since I had to wear sneakers for the volleyball tourney. I raced upstairs to find out that the entire deck was cleaned up, and my sandals were nowhere to be found. I searched for a few more minutes and checked the lost and found, but that was it. They were either stolen or blown overboard in the gusting winds. Ah well. I found out when I got home that the sandals were only $35 from Amazon, so I don’t feel like it’s the end of the world. I’ll order another pair soon for the summer. Besides, those ones were soaked in salt water. Can’t be good for the leather.
After Anchorman and some room service, it was time for dinner. It was the second formal night, so back into the suits for a Surf and Turf dinner. Everyone got all penguined up and we headed down.
On the way in, we met James Macdonald, AKA Jimmy Mac the pimp. He had a green suit with a tophat and cane. We had to have pictures with him, so we dragged him over, introduced ourselves and said we needed a PimpShot. We all got together, and got a photo of us all saying “Pimpin’ ain’t easy!” I’ll post that one later too.
Also, apparently they were selling flowers somewhere. Jesse ran out and got a rose to give Christie, out of the blue. He had been sort of blowing her off all week, hooking up with her and then not talking to her. Then he realized he wasn’t getting any other ass on the trip, and that she lives 5 minutes from him at home, so he better seal the deal. Cue the rose, and a blushing, giggly, happy idiot who would later rock his world all night long. Have to admit, for a mushmouth dummy, Jesse has some moves.
Anyway, this was the big dinner, lobster, Angus steaks, the works. I only had 3 lobsters and a steak, but Zach topped off the scales at 6 or 7 lobsters and 2 steaks I think. Something like that. Plus all the shrimp that came with the lobster. Stunning. I think it was the first time we’d seen our head waitress, as she came around to crack the lobster tails for us.
After dinner we stopped by the casino for a few, then headed upstairs to change. Everyone was getting tired of suits. Dressed up in our finest night gear, we once again headed to our bar, the Jester. And of course, we proudly displayed our medals. Those things are badges of pride. And sex. Yeah.
Zach was intensely interested in the night’s events, since they included the Michael Jackson Moonwalk dance contest. He was sure he could win with his moonwalk and pop-and-lock. There were 5 guys and one girl entered overall. The girl was awful. 2 of the guys were eh. One of the guys was too drunk to function properly and kept trying to steal the mic from the MC. The only real competition was between Zach and the only black guy to enter. It was close, but the black guy looked like he was gonna take it. He had some better moves than Zach. But then, the clincher.
Us. Our entire party of 40 was down there that night, the parents, the Englands, everyone. They all came to the dance floor, kept quiet for the others, and cheered their heads off for Zach. It was a landslide victory, in what was actually a completely rigged vote. It pays to own the crowd, as then Zach got his second medal of the day. And he wore them both with pride.
Afterwards there was much rejoicing, much drinking and much dancing. Heather and Jamie showed up to cheer on Zach, and then we sat around for a while drinking, talking, laughing, etc. It was nice.
Then this crazy black guy who worked for the ship showed up. Apparently he’s a dancer, and he threw my gaydar for a loop but proclaims he’s straight. Sure buddy. He drags both H&J to the dance floor and tries to show his moves, which are basically him trying to dry hump them through a wall. I pulled Heather away for a few, and he almost ground Jamie through the DJ booth with his ass. So I had to grab her too and take ‘em off to the side while he ass-assaulted someone else. A few minutes later they both begged me to leave with them so they wouldn’t have to see that guy anymore. How could I say no? We went upstairs and changed for the hottubs.
Arrived upstairs in the Solarium to find one tub closed and another open. Open one was pretty full, closed one had no one in it, but it was full of water. So we ripped off the closed sign and jumped in. 15 minutes later an employee comes by and says we have to leave, even if there isn’t a sign. Bastard. So we head out to the big hottub on the main deck. It’s pretty full, but we squeeze ourselves in by having a girl sit on each leg. I’m a happy man.
We’re in that one, bs’ing for a half hour or so when Buddy shows up with his Jersey boys, so we chill with them for a while. Then the crazing dancing black guy shows up again, pleading with the girls to get out of the hottub so he can hang out with us, since employees can’t get in the hottubs. We blow him off for 20 minutes and he finally leaves. I think it’s around 4am.
Heather starts getting a little touchy-feely with me under the bubbles, so I figure a) I’ve had a lot to drink and b) it’s time to go. The four of us, me, Heather, Jamie and Buddy head down to the girls rooms. We’re sitting around bs’ing for a few when Jamie announces that her and Buddy are going to “take a walk”. We wish them a good night, and start to “take a walk” ourselves. Smart guy here remembered to leave condoms in his leg pockets this time, so there was no need for stupidity this time around. Go me. And my “Holy shit you’re good at this” fingers. Among other things.
I think I woke up again at around 7:30am, realized where I was and how uncomfortable the mini bed is with two people in it. So I stumbled home in my shorts, crawled up into bed, stepped on Zach’s arm and passed out again into a happy drunken stupor.
At least, until Kevin came knocking again.
We did have plenty of things planned for Thursday. And we got to most of them. It was a good day.
Got up for breakfast around 10:30 or so, to the largest racket I’d heard onboard so far. A pounding on the door that could only mean the ship was going under and we all had to mooster. I sat straight up quickly, in the top bunk, a narrow miss at an opportunity to look like I had Down’s Syndrome. Scrambled half down the later and half standing on Zach’s bed and ran to the door.
Apparently I was mistaken. The sound emanating from my door was from none other than Kevin’s massive ham-hock arms. Moosifer and Mini-Moosifer had told him that all the kids were having trouble waking up, so Kevin was doing his part by beating the door down with his bare hands. (Kevin’s a dock worker in London. You can imagine the size of his arms.) When I found out what it was, I was actually surprised to see anything left on the doorframe.
In any case, he did his job and woke us all up. Our room, Train’s room and Jesse’s room. We figured since we were up, we’d get breakfast. So we headed to the Jammer and gorged ourselves. I swear I put on at least 10 pounds on that cruise, probably more. But it felt so, so good.
After breakfast we went back to the rooms, changed into our bathing suits and headed down to the pools. It was a beautiful day out, and both Moosifers were already up claiming chairs on the top deck. We headed up, left our stuff with them, lotioned up and headed down to the pool.
By the way, apparently it takes quite a lot to get a ship from Curacao to St. Martin in a day. The captain was booking. The whole ship was windy, rocking, everything. Lot of people got motion sickness. Not me though. I’m a rock. Hoo-ah.
I can’t remember if I talked about the little kid or not the other day, so I’ll mention him again. This little brat lived in the pool. None of us ever saw his parents once. His cruise was floating in a saltwater pool, annoying the piss out of anyone who came near him. He’d start doing cannonballs next to you, jump on your back and try to pull you under, anything he could do to get in the way. When he knocked my beer into the pool, that was the last straw. I picked the kid up by both arms, spun around twice and launched him into the pool. After that he just cursed at me from a distance.
He actually started to beat up some other little kid too. He was a chubby kid, and the kid he was beating up was a little stick figure. The chubby one would walk up to him, say “Hey!” and throw him in the water, repeatedly. Until the thin kid’s father came over, said “Pretty funny huh?” and threw the chubby one in the water. Then he helped his son throw the chubby one in the water a few times. Hilarious. The whole pool was cheering him on. Little bastard.
Anyway, we wanted to get out to the pool early because Thursday was the Belly Flop contest. Zach was adamant about entering, even though he’s only 160 pounds now. In his fat kid days, he would have done great, but now we were a little worried. Some of the other contestants entering had names like Buddha and Big Daddy. We didn’t think Zach had the stomach for it.
Jesse decided to enter too, and so did Jimmy, Craig’s dad. So we had three people in the mix. And a lot in the crowd. This bodes well.
Jesse’s first jump, well, he sucked. He launched himself airborne from the poolside, perfect stall to splash the stomach. And then he gave up and protected his marbles. He pulled his hips back to keep his splashmaster from getting pounded, and it cost him big points.
Zach’s first jump was pretty good, I think he placed in second. He didn’t pull back, but he also didn’t have the weight of the other guys.
Both of their second jumps were top notch, and they were from The Widowmaker, a large wooden box placed poolside to give another 3 feet of height for the jump. Funny thing was, most of the guys were so big that they couldn’t get up on the box without help. Ah well. The two of them could have placed, hell I think they were both in third for a while. Until Jerry from New Hampshire came up. 6’4, 310 pounds, with a battle cry of “My family is complete and I’m too big to sleep with my wife. I fear Nothing.” That man hung his balls out to dry and soaked half the audience. I tip my hat to him.
After the flop contest, where we actually didn’t win anything, we went back up to the lounge chairs for a few. Zach was alright, but Jesse had massive water burns on his stomach, so he was slathering himself with aloe. Poor guy, it was almost bad enough that he couldn’t splash with his women later. Almost, but not quite.
Then we got the Amazings together. Myself, Zach, Jesse, Train, Jeremy and Craig. A 6 man team like none the world has ever seen before. Our goal?
The Adventure of the Seas Volleyball Tournament.
We gathered the team, put on our sneakers and headed for the basketball court to warm up. Got there and found that it was still set up for basketball for another half hour, so we warmed up by shooting around.
Let me tell you, 6 white guys playing basketball is pretty pathetic. I’m pretty damn bad, so all I did was lay up and rebound. And I even sucked at that. Oh well.
Half hour later, they showed up to convert the court into a volleyball arena. Zach put the whole team together, so he went to sign us up. When they announced the 9 teams later, apparently we were the only team with a name. We strode onto the court as “The Afternoon Delights,” modeled after the song that was sung by Ron Burgundy in Anchorman.
We were team #5, so 1 played 4 first, then 2 played us. We thumped them and moved into the next round. After that I believe 1 played 9, who got an auto-bye into the second round since there were the odd number team. I think we played 6 the next round. Again, we won, but this time only by 4 points. We got a bye on the semis, because of the odd number of teams again. So winning our second game put us straight into the finals. Nice.
One of our big advantages was our 7th man. We had half our group on the sidelines with us, it was great. We got chants of Y-O, Afternoon Delights, and general heckling of the other teams. You really can’t stop a team with that good of a fan base.
Final round was a good game. We took an early lead, 5-2. They fought back to get 8-6. A win is 11 points, and you have to win by two. The next 20 minutes were spent going back and forth. 8-7. 9-8. 11-10. At one point, the other team hit a ball to our side that bounced right in front of Craig, maybe half a foot. It bounced right up to him, so he played it. They kept right on volleying, even though they knew it hit the ground. They thought it was a joke. Then the referee said point for our team. It was great. By them playing it, they validated the point. Crazy.
At the time it was around 12-11, there was a ball right up by my head, on the front line. Time for another big spike. I go up, do a half spin and start to put it down. Then I feel it. The club. Zach wanted the spike too, and came from across the court to get it. He missed the ball completely, but nailed my face dead on. Forearm right to the bridge of my nose. Cracked my BRAND NEW sunglasses in half, cut both sides of my nose with them, and blinded me for a sec. My first thought upon landing was “Oh man. I can’t even get another pair.”
The sacrifice was worth it though. My spike tied it at 12-12, and we took the next two points to win 14-12. We own the ship. Matt came running onto the court with a bucket of Bud Light, one for each of us to celebrate. We all ripped them open with our teeth and started chugging. Then the referee came out and gave us our medals and t-shirts. We took a few pictures, which I’ll put up later on today. The medals didn’t come off any of our necks for the next 3 days.
And let me tell you, when you have that much gold around your neck, the ladies love you. Those things started so many conversations with so many random people, guys and girls alike. But only the ladies get to sit on your lap and admire.
At times like that, there’s only one thing to do: Strut. So after we won, we took a victory lap of the ship, showing off, gloating, being admired. It was nice.
Then we headed back to the rooms to relax for a while, since being out in the sun, flopping and volleyball can tire a person out. We decided that since the Afternoon Delights just won a championship, we’d pay homage to Ron Burgundy by watching Anchorman. So we went to Jesse’s room, everyone piled in and we turned on the in-room movie setup.
Then we remembered that originally Jesse was in my room, and Zach was in with Merri. So on the accounts screen on the TV, it said Zach and Merri. We checked Zach’s account, and in 5 days he had spent exactly $18.04. He bought one beer for himself, a drink for his cuddlefriend, and something else. Crazy. So instantly we decided to use his account for the movie.
We ordered it, and it started up halfway through. The bastards. We called the front desk and they said to shut off the TV for 5 minutes, let it sit and then try ordering again, and it should be back to the beginning. They also said don’t worry, we wouldn’t be charged. So we did. The movie ended up starting 10 minutes earlier than it was before. And we got charged for 2 movies, tripling Zach’s bill to almost $60. We yelled at the front desk some more, then finally gave up and watched the second half of the movie, starting with one of the best scenes anyway, “Dirty Pirate Hooker”.
Around this point I realized I had left my stuff up on the top deck. My stuff being my sandals that I had just gotten for Christmas, since I had to wear sneakers for the volleyball tourney. I raced upstairs to find out that the entire deck was cleaned up, and my sandals were nowhere to be found. I searched for a few more minutes and checked the lost and found, but that was it. They were either stolen or blown overboard in the gusting winds. Ah well. I found out when I got home that the sandals were only $35 from Amazon, so I don’t feel like it’s the end of the world. I’ll order another pair soon for the summer. Besides, those ones were soaked in salt water. Can’t be good for the leather.
After Anchorman and some room service, it was time for dinner. It was the second formal night, so back into the suits for a Surf and Turf dinner. Everyone got all penguined up and we headed down.
On the way in, we met James Macdonald, AKA Jimmy Mac the pimp. He had a green suit with a tophat and cane. We had to have pictures with him, so we dragged him over, introduced ourselves and said we needed a PimpShot. We all got together, and got a photo of us all saying “Pimpin’ ain’t easy!” I’ll post that one later too.
Also, apparently they were selling flowers somewhere. Jesse ran out and got a rose to give Christie, out of the blue. He had been sort of blowing her off all week, hooking up with her and then not talking to her. Then he realized he wasn’t getting any other ass on the trip, and that she lives 5 minutes from him at home, so he better seal the deal. Cue the rose, and a blushing, giggly, happy idiot who would later rock his world all night long. Have to admit, for a mushmouth dummy, Jesse has some moves.
Anyway, this was the big dinner, lobster, Angus steaks, the works. I only had 3 lobsters and a steak, but Zach topped off the scales at 6 or 7 lobsters and 2 steaks I think. Something like that. Plus all the shrimp that came with the lobster. Stunning. I think it was the first time we’d seen our head waitress, as she came around to crack the lobster tails for us.
After dinner we stopped by the casino for a few, then headed upstairs to change. Everyone was getting tired of suits. Dressed up in our finest night gear, we once again headed to our bar, the Jester. And of course, we proudly displayed our medals. Those things are badges of pride. And sex. Yeah.
Zach was intensely interested in the night’s events, since they included the Michael Jackson Moonwalk dance contest. He was sure he could win with his moonwalk and pop-and-lock. There were 5 guys and one girl entered overall. The girl was awful. 2 of the guys were eh. One of the guys was too drunk to function properly and kept trying to steal the mic from the MC. The only real competition was between Zach and the only black guy to enter. It was close, but the black guy looked like he was gonna take it. He had some better moves than Zach. But then, the clincher.
Us. Our entire party of 40 was down there that night, the parents, the Englands, everyone. They all came to the dance floor, kept quiet for the others, and cheered their heads off for Zach. It was a landslide victory, in what was actually a completely rigged vote. It pays to own the crowd, as then Zach got his second medal of the day. And he wore them both with pride.
Afterwards there was much rejoicing, much drinking and much dancing. Heather and Jamie showed up to cheer on Zach, and then we sat around for a while drinking, talking, laughing, etc. It was nice.
Then this crazy black guy who worked for the ship showed up. Apparently he’s a dancer, and he threw my gaydar for a loop but proclaims he’s straight. Sure buddy. He drags both H&J to the dance floor and tries to show his moves, which are basically him trying to dry hump them through a wall. I pulled Heather away for a few, and he almost ground Jamie through the DJ booth with his ass. So I had to grab her too and take ‘em off to the side while he ass-assaulted someone else. A few minutes later they both begged me to leave with them so they wouldn’t have to see that guy anymore. How could I say no? We went upstairs and changed for the hottubs.
Arrived upstairs in the Solarium to find one tub closed and another open. Open one was pretty full, closed one had no one in it, but it was full of water. So we ripped off the closed sign and jumped in. 15 minutes later an employee comes by and says we have to leave, even if there isn’t a sign. Bastard. So we head out to the big hottub on the main deck. It’s pretty full, but we squeeze ourselves in by having a girl sit on each leg. I’m a happy man.
We’re in that one, bs’ing for a half hour or so when Buddy shows up with his Jersey boys, so we chill with them for a while. Then the crazing dancing black guy shows up again, pleading with the girls to get out of the hottub so he can hang out with us, since employees can’t get in the hottubs. We blow him off for 20 minutes and he finally leaves. I think it’s around 4am.
Heather starts getting a little touchy-feely with me under the bubbles, so I figure a) I’ve had a lot to drink and b) it’s time to go. The four of us, me, Heather, Jamie and Buddy head down to the girls rooms. We’re sitting around bs’ing for a few when Jamie announces that her and Buddy are going to “take a walk”. We wish them a good night, and start to “take a walk” ourselves. Smart guy here remembered to leave condoms in his leg pockets this time, so there was no need for stupidity this time around. Go me. And my “Holy shit you’re good at this” fingers. Among other things.
I think I woke up again at around 7:30am, realized where I was and how uncomfortable the mini bed is with two people in it. So I stumbled home in my shorts, crawled up into bed, stepped on Zach’s arm and passed out again into a happy drunken stupor.
At least, until Kevin came knocking again.