just some thoughts....
hmmm...haha..so long never post here liao..but anyway..that proves that i haven't been sad for a long long time..XD but that doesn't mean i'm posting here because i'm sad..just that i haven't posted here for a long time so just going to post something lah..although i might think too much sometimes..haha..anyway..
let's start of with some newspaper clipping about this centre hoping to ban smoking in singapore by 2015 i think..yeah..anyway..these two neurologists wrote in sometime back..to the newspaper's forum section lah..and they were saying that we should not wait 10 years to ban something which has been causing a lot of deaths..they say that 1/4 of the stroke patients admitted to hospitals are smokers..and blah blah blah..anyway..at the last part..they said something along the lines of "if chewing gum, which neither kills nor disables, can be banned practically overnight, why wait 10 years to ban smoking?" (of course i can't remember the exact line since i read it yesterday morning although it was september's news) well anyway, this line left the most impact on me..so i'm like thinking..sure..we can all wish that smoking be banned immediately..but it ain't that simple is it? we DO have to wait for them to be able to quit smoking before we can do anything right? i mean..you can stop chewing gum overnight cuz' it isn't addictive (right?) but then you can't just say "oh look! smoking is against the law! let's stop smoking!" and then get over the whole smoking business right? so maybe we don't have to wait 10 years..but we do have to wait quite long..i think right now..what the government is doing is best..it slowly eases the smokers out of their addiction by restricting their habits to a few areas..this in turn gives them less chances to smoke and then they will slowly get over their addiction right? anyway..i dont' think the government can stop people from smoking completely..i mean look at the ban on oral sex, porn, downloading and chewing gum..they haven't been working have they? people still practise oral sex, watch porn, download stuff and import chewing gum..so the question is..do these laws really make a difference? they do right? i mean..at least it lessens the occurences..plus..the ban on smoking in bus stops isn't working either..=.=''' i still see people doing it..anyway..what i want..is for smokers to stop smoking in front of non-smokers..the second-hand smoke can actually be more dangerous than first-hand smoke i guess..anyway..by smoking in front of non-smokers..they are putting innocent lives at risk..so look..smoke as much as you want i dont' care..just don't endanger the lives of others..especially your loved ones..if you suffer..it's your problem not mine..but when you suffer a stroke, lung cancer, death whatever..your loved ones suffer too..so it's like your choice if you want to smoke..just think about others before you do it yeah?
anyway..can you believe that i get thrilled seeing lightning flash? XD it's kinda cool..seriously..so yesterday..there was a thunderstorm..and i stood at my window at 10pm and started watching the lighting flash..XDDDD and i stood there for 30mins..and everytime the lightning flashed brilliantly..and the sky lit up as if it was day time..i would squeal and clap my hands..and laugh..like a little kid watching some show or something..anyway...so..after like 10mins..i went and whispered "i love you" to a lightning..which shows you probably how mentally unstable i was at that time..i did that about 7 times? (not including the one more time this morning) and then..after that..i started going "one more flash and then i will go to sleep..give me a brilliant one" and then it flashed so brilliantly that i couldn't bear to go to bed..so i stood there watching..that thing happened quite a few times anyway..of course i squealed extra loudly..XDDD it was so awesome..after that..i had to lie on my bed and try to go to sleep since i had school today..yeah..so i watched the lightning flash on the cupboard opposite me and continued to squeal until my maid came in..hehe..anyway..the lightning purposely tempt me de..when i lie down it flashes brighter..like much brighter..make me want to go up and watch somemore..then when i go..it flashes DULLY..so crappy..hmph..and then...i quickly closed my eyes and fell asleep..weird yeah..especially since i already slept 3 hours in the afternoon..=.=''' WHY DO I SLEEP SO MUCH?! anyway..the lightning watching resulted in me being extra tired today..
since we are talking about sleep..let's talk about why on earth i sleep so much and still manage to feel extra tired..so anyway..there are a few reasons i think..ok..i could be depressed..and that is so not true..cuz' i've been feeling extra happy these few weeks..then..there is..the fact that maybe i sleep too much..cuz' i heard that if you sleep too much..you will feel even more tired..and then the reason i think is the most logical..is the one about not having a proper sleeping environment..so anyway..i think that my house is too noisy a place to sleep in..see? every night..just as i fall asleep (which will be around 9.30..) my maid will come in to keep the clothes, move my sisters' matteresses and make her own bed..which results in..the banging of cupboards, the whacking of my head by my sisters' matteresses..and whatever else..so....CAN YOU SEE WHY I DON"T GET ENOUGH SLEEP?! of course all these will wake me up..tsk..and then i will lie down for awhile more before i go to sleep..and then..with 5 kids in the house..there is a lot of noise..and my father doesn't like me closing the door..and my sisters' will keep turning on the room's light..so..HOW DO I GET A GOOD NIGHT'S REST?! =.=''''' plus..my older sis sleeps from evening to 12/1am and then she works til' morning..lights on all the time..ARGH! so..whatever..i'm feeling tired again..HAH!
ah well..since i'm so tired..it's off to bed for me..i will update more next time..and it's only 8.51!!! *dies* i suck yes i know that..oh wait..just going to say one more thing about me leaving st margs..i guess i'm going to miss being in st margs..probably because of the people in it..and the things i'm permitted to do in it..yup..see? in a mixed school...when you have mensus..you can go around whining about it to everyone you know..haha..like "ARGH! stupid mensus..i feel so sticky.." and "stomach cramp.....i don't want to do anything today..i just want to go to bed..STUPID MENSUS" yeah..so if you say those kind of stuff to a guy..the reaction will be funny..but it is so weird..haha..and then..if your mensus suddenly comes..you can't go and shout "DOES ANYONE HAVE AN EXTRA PAD?" to the whole class..cuz'..you will probably get weird stares from the guys..and probably from the rest of the class too..then you also can't change in front of the whole class (hey..not only guys do it..)..yeah..that will be so sad..i have to go to the toilet from now on..=.=''' ah well..i have to make new friends too..that will be weird..i took like 2 years to make friends..and now i have to remake friends..gawsh..i guess maybe i'll really miss them even though i act like nothing's wrong..yeah..i guess maybe it's because i'm closer to this group of people then to my primary school group of people that's why i never expected myself to react like this..haiz..today when i went to school i almost cried i guess..it's like..sudden wave of overwhelming sadness..i guess maybe i'm also scared of being left out in nj like i have felt for the last few years..but then..it won't be that bad right? i mean..it's like so completely normal considering that i'm already being left out..but then i guess it has something to do with more people knowing you and leaving you out..like..the feeling that you will never fit in anywhere..anyway..i don't think i like compliments much either..if you want to compliment me..you might as well insult me cuz' then i don't have to fight back and tell myself it's all just a scam or something..cuz' then i will know like "oh look..she/he really doesn't like me anyway..well..at least he/she isn't pretending right?" cuz' i really hate fakers..which i seem to see a lot of..and then again..i will really miss those people..i got a candle from the class today..haha..it's kinda cool yeah? something to remember them by..and then..i got that bookmark from mrs khoo..the letters/ice cream sticks/stuff from my classmates..yeah..and then there's the chalet next week..hopefully it will be fun..and i'm going to write letters to everyone..yeah..need my mom to get me coloured paper first though..lolx..
anyway..about the being left out thing..i was thinking about my crushes last night..and i figure..look..i'm at an age whereby i will probably fall in love with every single guy who appears to care for me or is funny..so it's best if i stay away from guys for the moment..but hey! i'm going to a mixed school next year..and am i supposed to like apparently completely cut off all my contacts with guys? plus i still owe them their christmas gifts..=.='''' so anyway..i guess i will just get them their gifts and run off..yeah..but then..i still don't know how to pass the gifts to them either..so..bleargh..and then..about the age whereby i fall in love with every single guy who appears to care for me or is funny..yeah..hmm..i guess..i've probably been at this stage for the last what..let me think..8 years? long i guess but it's true isn't it? and the worse thing is..now they don't even have to appear to care for me to let me have that sliver of hope..=.=''' that is like a totally sucky thingy..so BOO! anyway..it's not like i've met a guy who actually cares for me..not even as a friend yet..that's why i say "APPEARS"..so it's like..hmmm..it's kinda sad i guess..not even a real friend? =.=''''' then..the feminist can now start going "AW SHUCKS! WHO NEEDS GUYS ANYWAY!" me? because..i dont' know..but one reason i know why i need them is because i want to have kids in the future..ah well..best to stay away from this gender until i can be completely sure of my ability to keep my hormones under control..curse my hormone producing level..=.='''' it can be quite horrible yeah? anyway..i'm still going to continue fangirling..cuz' hey look..i already know that i will never ever have a chance with keita or keifu or changmin or anything like that..so i'm quite in control over this matter..*beams* it's safe right? i mean..i won't have any weird hopes or anything..sure..i may daydream..but i will always know..be absolutely certain..that there is never any hope of being with them..the most i can hope for is for them to fine a nice girl..who will make them happy..who loves them too..and will always remain faithful to them..then i will be happy for them too..i'm not going to say anything like "cuz' that's what true love is about, isn't it?" cuz' then i will just be givin myself false hopes again..cuz' if i say that what i'm feeling for them is true love..then it's as good as telling myself that i will never ever ever get over them..and that is just weird..of course i don't want that to happen..but i know that..whatever crushes i have..those people will remain in my heart forever..so i will never ever ever forget them..a part of me will always be theirs..but still..if they find such a girl..i will be happy for them..cuz' then they can lead the happy life i don't think i will ever have..some fangirls think they really are in love with them..maybe some really are..but most aren't right? sure they may like their voices, their looks, their apparent sweet personality, their apparent character and so on and so forth..but they will never really know them..so..if you never really know a person..never really talk to them face to face as a friend or aquintance..how can you truly understand them..how can you truly believe that you know them well enough to be in love with them..cuz' you will never really know what they are like in real life..and then..you can't fall in love with someone you don't actually know..so there! (but i still really really love keita's voice..and his smile)
anyway..class ranking time..
waijean - 1st - 79.5%
jingxi - 2nd - 79.3%
huiling + christine - 3rd - 77%
stephanie - 5th - 76.6
naomi - 6th - 76.-something
me - 7th - 75.9
weiwey - 8th - (and from here on i don't know the marks)
ruying - 9th
valerie - 10th
diana - 11th
grace - 12th
sharon - 13th
joy - 14th
and the rest i don't know..haha..hmm..long enough entry? bye..
let's start of with some newspaper clipping about this centre hoping to ban smoking in singapore by 2015 i think..yeah..anyway..these two neurologists wrote in sometime back..to the newspaper's forum section lah..and they were saying that we should not wait 10 years to ban something which has been causing a lot of deaths..they say that 1/4 of the stroke patients admitted to hospitals are smokers..and blah blah blah..anyway..at the last part..they said something along the lines of "if chewing gum, which neither kills nor disables, can be banned practically overnight, why wait 10 years to ban smoking?" (of course i can't remember the exact line since i read it yesterday morning although it was september's news) well anyway, this line left the most impact on me..so i'm like thinking..sure..we can all wish that smoking be banned immediately..but it ain't that simple is it? we DO have to wait for them to be able to quit smoking before we can do anything right? i mean..you can stop chewing gum overnight cuz' it isn't addictive (right?) but then you can't just say "oh look! smoking is against the law! let's stop smoking!" and then get over the whole smoking business right? so maybe we don't have to wait 10 years..but we do have to wait quite long..i think right now..what the government is doing is best..it slowly eases the smokers out of their addiction by restricting their habits to a few areas..this in turn gives them less chances to smoke and then they will slowly get over their addiction right? anyway..i dont' think the government can stop people from smoking completely..i mean look at the ban on oral sex, porn, downloading and chewing gum..they haven't been working have they? people still practise oral sex, watch porn, download stuff and import chewing gum..so the question is..do these laws really make a difference? they do right? i mean..at least it lessens the occurences..plus..the ban on smoking in bus stops isn't working either..=.=''' i still see people doing it..anyway..what i want..is for smokers to stop smoking in front of non-smokers..the second-hand smoke can actually be more dangerous than first-hand smoke i guess..anyway..by smoking in front of non-smokers..they are putting innocent lives at risk..so look..smoke as much as you want i dont' care..just don't endanger the lives of others..especially your loved ones..if you suffer..it's your problem not mine..but when you suffer a stroke, lung cancer, death whatever..your loved ones suffer too..so it's like your choice if you want to smoke..just think about others before you do it yeah?
anyway..can you believe that i get thrilled seeing lightning flash? XD it's kinda cool..seriously..so yesterday..there was a thunderstorm..and i stood at my window at 10pm and started watching the lighting flash..XDDDD and i stood there for 30mins..and everytime the lightning flashed brilliantly..and the sky lit up as if it was day time..i would squeal and clap my hands..and laugh..like a little kid watching some show or something..anyway...so..after like 10mins..i went and whispered "i love you" to a lightning..which shows you probably how mentally unstable i was at that time..i did that about 7 times? (not including the one more time this morning) and then..after that..i started going "one more flash and then i will go to sleep..give me a brilliant one" and then it flashed so brilliantly that i couldn't bear to go to bed..so i stood there watching..that thing happened quite a few times anyway..of course i squealed extra loudly..XDDD it was so awesome..after that..i had to lie on my bed and try to go to sleep since i had school today..yeah..so i watched the lightning flash on the cupboard opposite me and continued to squeal until my maid came in..hehe..anyway..the lightning purposely tempt me de..when i lie down it flashes brighter..like much brighter..make me want to go up and watch somemore..then when i go..it flashes DULLY..so crappy..hmph..and then...i quickly closed my eyes and fell asleep..weird yeah..especially since i already slept 3 hours in the afternoon..=.=''' WHY DO I SLEEP SO MUCH?! anyway..the lightning watching resulted in me being extra tired today..
since we are talking about sleep..let's talk about why on earth i sleep so much and still manage to feel extra tired..so anyway..there are a few reasons i think..ok..i could be depressed..and that is so not true..cuz' i've been feeling extra happy these few weeks..then..there is..the fact that maybe i sleep too much..cuz' i heard that if you sleep too much..you will feel even more tired..and then the reason i think is the most logical..is the one about not having a proper sleeping environment..so anyway..i think that my house is too noisy a place to sleep in..see? every night..just as i fall asleep (which will be around 9.30..) my maid will come in to keep the clothes, move my sisters' matteresses and make her own bed..which results in..the banging of cupboards, the whacking of my head by my sisters' matteresses..and whatever else..so....CAN YOU SEE WHY I DON"T GET ENOUGH SLEEP?! of course all these will wake me up..tsk..and then i will lie down for awhile more before i go to sleep..and then..with 5 kids in the house..there is a lot of noise..and my father doesn't like me closing the door..and my sisters' will keep turning on the room's light..so..HOW DO I GET A GOOD NIGHT'S REST?! =.=''''' plus..my older sis sleeps from evening to 12/1am and then she works til' morning..lights on all the time..ARGH! so..whatever..i'm feeling tired again..HAH!
ah well..since i'm so tired..it's off to bed for me..i will update more next time..and it's only 8.51!!! *dies* i suck yes i know that..oh wait..just going to say one more thing about me leaving st margs..i guess i'm going to miss being in st margs..probably because of the people in it..and the things i'm permitted to do in it..yup..see? in a mixed school...when you have mensus..you can go around whining about it to everyone you know..haha..like "ARGH! stupid mensus..i feel so sticky.." and "stomach cramp.....i don't want to do anything today..i just want to go to bed..STUPID MENSUS" yeah..so if you say those kind of stuff to a guy..the reaction will be funny..but it is so weird..haha..and then..if your mensus suddenly comes..you can't go and shout "DOES ANYONE HAVE AN EXTRA PAD?" to the whole class..cuz'..you will probably get weird stares from the guys..and probably from the rest of the class too..then you also can't change in front of the whole class (hey..not only guys do it..)..yeah..that will be so sad..i have to go to the toilet from now on..=.=''' ah well..i have to make new friends too..that will be weird..i took like 2 years to make friends..and now i have to remake friends..gawsh..i guess maybe i'll really miss them even though i act like nothing's wrong..yeah..i guess maybe it's because i'm closer to this group of people then to my primary school group of people that's why i never expected myself to react like this..haiz..today when i went to school i almost cried i guess..it's like..sudden wave of overwhelming sadness..i guess maybe i'm also scared of being left out in nj like i have felt for the last few years..but then..it won't be that bad right? i mean..it's like so completely normal considering that i'm already being left out..but then i guess it has something to do with more people knowing you and leaving you out..like..the feeling that you will never fit in anywhere..anyway..i don't think i like compliments much either..if you want to compliment me..you might as well insult me cuz' then i don't have to fight back and tell myself it's all just a scam or something..cuz' then i will know like "oh look..she/he really doesn't like me anyway..well..at least he/she isn't pretending right?" cuz' i really hate fakers..which i seem to see a lot of..and then again..i will really miss those people..i got a candle from the class today..haha..it's kinda cool yeah? something to remember them by..and then..i got that bookmark from mrs khoo..the letters/ice cream sticks/stuff from my classmates..yeah..and then there's the chalet next week..hopefully it will be fun..and i'm going to write letters to everyone..yeah..need my mom to get me coloured paper first though..lolx..
anyway..about the being left out thing..i was thinking about my crushes last night..and i figure..look..i'm at an age whereby i will probably fall in love with every single guy who appears to care for me or is funny..so it's best if i stay away from guys for the moment..but hey! i'm going to a mixed school next year..and am i supposed to like apparently completely cut off all my contacts with guys? plus i still owe them their christmas gifts..=.='''' so anyway..i guess i will just get them their gifts and run off..yeah..but then..i still don't know how to pass the gifts to them either..so..bleargh..and then..about the age whereby i fall in love with every single guy who appears to care for me or is funny..yeah..hmm..i guess..i've probably been at this stage for the last what..let me think..8 years? long i guess but it's true isn't it? and the worse thing is..now they don't even have to appear to care for me to let me have that sliver of hope..=.=''' that is like a totally sucky thingy..so BOO! anyway..it's not like i've met a guy who actually cares for me..not even as a friend yet..that's why i say "APPEARS"..so it's like..hmmm..it's kinda sad i guess..not even a real friend? =.=''''' then..the feminist can now start going "AW SHUCKS! WHO NEEDS GUYS ANYWAY!" me? because..i dont' know..but one reason i know why i need them is because i want to have kids in the future..ah well..best to stay away from this gender until i can be completely sure of my ability to keep my hormones under control..curse my hormone producing level..=.='''' it can be quite horrible yeah? anyway..i'm still going to continue fangirling..cuz' hey look..i already know that i will never ever have a chance with keita or keifu or changmin or anything like that..so i'm quite in control over this matter..*beams* it's safe right? i mean..i won't have any weird hopes or anything..sure..i may daydream..but i will always know..be absolutely certain..that there is never any hope of being with them..the most i can hope for is for them to fine a nice girl..who will make them happy..who loves them too..and will always remain faithful to them..then i will be happy for them too..i'm not going to say anything like "cuz' that's what true love is about, isn't it?" cuz' then i will just be givin myself false hopes again..cuz' if i say that what i'm feeling for them is true love..then it's as good as telling myself that i will never ever ever get over them..and that is just weird..of course i don't want that to happen..but i know that..whatever crushes i have..those people will remain in my heart forever..so i will never ever ever forget them..a part of me will always be theirs..but still..if they find such a girl..i will be happy for them..cuz' then they can lead the happy life i don't think i will ever have..some fangirls think they really are in love with them..maybe some really are..but most aren't right? sure they may like their voices, their looks, their apparent sweet personality, their apparent character and so on and so forth..but they will never really know them..so..if you never really know a person..never really talk to them face to face as a friend or aquintance..how can you truly understand them..how can you truly believe that you know them well enough to be in love with them..cuz' you will never really know what they are like in real life..and then..you can't fall in love with someone you don't actually know..so there! (but i still really really love keita's voice..and his smile)
anyway..class ranking time..
waijean - 1st - 79.5%
jingxi - 2nd - 79.3%
huiling + christine - 3rd - 77%
stephanie - 5th - 76.6
naomi - 6th - 76.-something
me - 7th - 75.9
weiwey - 8th - (and from here on i don't know the marks)
ruying - 9th
valerie - 10th
diana - 11th
grace - 12th
sharon - 13th
joy - 14th
and the rest i don't know..haha..hmm..long enough entry? bye..