first ★ [video // open]

[twelfth_century]

Attention, citizens of the Kingdom of Demeleierland.

[The feed flicks on showing - dirt? Yes, dirt and rocks and a few sparse blades of grass. They move closer, and then farther away, and then closer again. Is the ground moving? No, the communicator is. A particularly observant person may notice that he's repeatedly smashing it against the ground.

Comments

[voice]

[overdoing]

Oh, no, not math ...

[voice]

[twelfth_century]

Uneducated bumpkin. Go draw me a bath.

[voice]

[overdoing]

Hey! Who you callin' a bumpkin, pal?

[voice]

[twelfth_century]

Is my bath ready yet?

[ audio ]

[reloved]

[ Wait what no this whole video is too confusing.. ]

It's.. um.. seventy-nine!

[ audio ]

[twelfth_century]

FOOL!

Such a question cannot be attempted by feeble minds.

[ audio ]

[reloved]

H-hey, wait a second, why are you calling me feeble?!

[ audio ]

[twelfth_century]

Show me your cuticles.

audio. 1/2

[theonlyteddie]

[... ... ...]

Okay, let's see...

Divide by the two, aaand...

audio.

[theonlyteddie]

...Wait.

What? That doesn't make any sense!

audio.

[twelfth_century]

Who told you about my cents.

audio.

[theonlyteddie]

But I don't think you have any sense!

[albinoidiot]

The answer is pi. No, just messin' with yah... hang on a sec.

[And look at him do the math. He's counting with his fingers.]

Six-hundred... no. Five-hundred? Five-hundred and some? Where the hell is Vergil when I need him.

[twelfth_century]

FOOL!

[albinoidiot]

OBJECTION!

[twelfth_century]

[..........]

FOOL!

[bloomnobly]

Hmmmm...

42, I believe.

[twelfth_century]

That's correct! Never reveal this secret to anyone.

[bloomnobly]

Oh, good! No, no, my lips are sealed.

[twelfth_century]

Tell me, would you take this secret to the grave. Would you guard it under pain of death.