Love Actually: Chapter 3
Chapter Three: 3 weeks until Christmas
Jacob POV
“So, how’s your trip going?” I teased.
Leah huffed and I laughed, recalling her panicked call as she told me of Alex- the young housekeeper that didn’t speak a smidge of English.
“Fuck off,” she seethed. “He’s actually not so bad,” she continued, her voice so quiet I could barely hear her.
“Well, well… do tell!”
“Shut up! It’s not like that… he’s nice, he makes me laugh,” she admitted reluctantly.
My smile faded as I realized what was happening, “Leah, are you having a fling?”
“What? No, of course not! Shit, Jake, get your mind out of the gutter.”
“It wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” I said with a shrug.
I could easily imagine Leah rolling her eyes at me. “What about you?”
Sighing, I maneuvered my phone on my shoulder as I finished developing the pictures from Nessie’s wedding.
“Well, now that you’ve gone and left me here I’ve got nothing better to do than work.”
“Really?” Leah asked, amazed. “You haven’t seen the newlyweds?”
I ignored the pain I felt on my chest and tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Not really, been busy… though, I heard there’s trouble in paradise.”
Leah gasped. “What do you mean?”
I told Leah about the conversation I’d had with Bella on the wedding, because of the whole Sam debacle I hadn’t been able to talk to her about it. I also told her, how Bella and I had become quite close since she gotten the job at the Times.
Hanging out with Bella was fun, and thankfully she was able to keep comments about Nessie to herself. Nevertheless, she had mentioned she was about to get her own place soon. She didn’t like crashing at her sister’s house anymore. Apparently, Nessie and Nahuel were not adapting to married life as well as they’d hoped.
Leah was quiet after I finished my story and I decided to steer the conversation away from the topic. “So everyone’s wondering if you’ll make it in time for the Christmas party.”
“Jake,” Leah warned, obviously catching my lame attempt to change the subject.
I waited for her to lash out and tell me what a fucking pussy I was and why I should just go out and get laid, but it never came.
“Have you ever wondered how things would’ve been if you actually told her how you felt?” she said, her voice reluctant.
Amazed that Leah was being so damn sentimental, I found no reply.
“Sorry, its just that being here… around a man who obviously can not understand a fucking word I say, has made me realize how important communication is.”
“Fuck, you’ve gone soft on me! What happen to the crazy bitch I know and love?” I asked, trying to ease her seriousness.
“Fuck you, asshole!”
“There she is!” I laughed.
“I’m serious, Jake! Get your head out of your ass and talk to her, maybe then we can all move on,” she joked, but I could tell she meant what she said.
I nodded and realized she couldn’t see me. Still, I wasn’t ready to say it out loud. “So, I was watching TV the other day and I caught a phrase in Spanish, wanna learn it and impress your little crush?”
Leah huffed, “Lets hear it.”
“Okay, say it with me, ‘Cogeme rico, papi’,” I enunciated every word.
“You gotta stop watching cheap porn. Seriously, Jake, think about the few, poor neurons you have left!”
After bantering for a while, Leah and I said our goodbyes. I finished developing all the pictures and spent the rest of my afternoon watching TV, settling on a cheesy Christmas after-school special.
Later that night, just before I called it a night my doorbell rang. I was completely taken aback to see who was at my door.
Nessie.
My heart skipped a beat and my stomach clenched painfully. I had been avoiding her calls ever since she came back from her honeymoon. After the wedding, I had promised myself I would move on.
The logical step seemed to stop any sort of communication between us, a clean break. I’d even deluded myself into thinking it was working…Nothing could’ve been further from the truth.
The moment her brown eyes locked with mine, and that beautiful smile spread across her lips I realized how much I’d fucking missed her. Her light brown hair shined under the little Christmas lights I had on the doorway. Her pale skin was slightly pink due to the cold. To me, she looked absolutely perfect.
“Hey, can I come in?” her sweet voice asked.
Too surprised by her visit, I simply nodded and stepped back to let her through. “Jesus! It’s freezing out there,” she said, going straight to my living room and settling some bags on my desk.
“Yeah, it is,” I simply replied, not knowing what to say.
“I was just around the neighborhood. I had your Christmas gift in my car…” She looked around the room hesitantly, avoiding my eyes.
“I know you’ve been really busy, so I wanted to drop it off in case I didn’t see you.” She took one of the bags and extended her arm to me, offering it.
The atmosphere was tense around us. It was a little obvious I’d been avoiding her, since I had been spending time with Bella.
Stepping closer towards her, I hesitantly took the bag and smiled as warmly as I could. “Thanks, I… I have been a little busy,” I replied lamely.
Nessie sighed. “Jake, is everything okay with us?” she said slowly.
The question caught me off guard. I was expecting her to flat out ask me. “Yes, of course! Why would it be?”
She shrugged, facing away from me and suddenly becoming very interested on the TV. “It just feels like we haven’t talked in forever… we used to hang out every weekend. But, now it seems like I never see you. I only know what Bella tells me and that’s it. Nahuel thinks that you and Bella have something going on…”
I don’t know if it was my imagination, but she didn’t seem to like the idea of her sister and I. “Is it true? Is something going on between you guys?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. “Bella and I? You gotta to be kidding me, Nessie!”
She smiled sheepishly at me as I continued laughing. “So, its not true?”
“Hell no! Your sister is nice and all, but not my type… and besides, I think she has the hots for the new editor-in-chief.”
“Really?” Nessie asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief. I could only imagine what this information would do against her sister.
She sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to her. Helpless to her request, I sat next to her. “Yup. I seriously believe something will happen at this year’s Christmas party… the booze, the twinkling lights,” I said, exaggerating my tone.
Nessie giggled and I continued. “Bella will surely plot to get Cullen under the mistletoe only to have an excuse to grope the poor bastard right there and then.”
Nessie gasped. “Oh, I don’t know… Bella is to shy to try anything.”
“Baby, you obviously haven’t seen your sister around this dude. Seriously, I swear prudish Bella turns into a blubbering mess. It’s funny as hell… because Cullen is obviously interested.”
“Well that would explain the weird moans I hear when she’s sleeping,” Nessie laughed; her expression half horrified, half amused.
“That loud, is she? Must be some powerful dreams if you can hear her all the way from the guest room,” I said, trying to be funny.
Nessie’s expression immediately stiffened and her smile disappeared for an instant before a fake one grazed her lips.
“Um, yeah,” she said awkwardly.
“I’m sorry… did I cross the line?” I asked, immediately feeling like a douchebag.
“Oh, no! Don’t be ridiculous… believe me, your information will be very useful,” she said, suggesting of all the teasing Bella was going to receive.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, knowing her cheery tone wasn’t real.
“It’s nothing, really…” she hesitated a little before saying, “I know about her moaning because I’m sharing the guest room with her.”
My eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. Of all the things I expected her to say, nothing compared to this. I honestly didn’t know what to make of her little confession. Suddenly, I was aware of how much Bella had been holding back whenever she mentioned her sister.
“I… I’m sorry?” I stuttered, not knowing what to say.
“It’s okay,” Nessie said nonchalantly, though her eyes filled with tears. “Things haven’t been good for a while… and getting married was just a quick fix-“ she stopped herself from saying more.
My brain was suffering from information overload. Nessie seemed embarrassed and I honestly had no idea how to respond.
“Everything will work out,” she said offhandedly, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
I just nodded and she immediately changed the subject, commenting on the TV show that played. I followed her lead and we settled on watching the over dramatized acting. For the first time since her wedding, the unsettling feeling on the pit of my stomach faded.
Being around her brought me the kind of peace I could only dream off, and I wanted noting more than to keep her around me forever. Before her weeding I was resigned to the fact that she belonged to someone else, but now, sensing her unhappiness made me wonder about our relationship.
Could Leah and Bella be right? Would telling her how I felt help in any way? It was easy to ignore my longing when I knew she was content… but now, I wanted nothing more than to be the one who could actually make her happy.
Nessie’s cell phone interrupted my internal ramblings. Her body tensed up as she saw the called ID. A quick sideways glance told me I didn’t want to be in the room. Making a lame excuse of getting something to drink, I left her in the room to answer her call.
Even from the kitchen, I could hear the harsh whispering and Nessie’s bewildered tone. As I waited for her call to end, I thought back on the past weeks trying to recall what Nahuel’s actions had been. Although we had been close at first, we had grown apart at the same rate Nessie and I had grown closer, it was almost as if he knew what my feeling for his fiancée were. However, he never did anything to stop me from seeing her, he always seemed very confident about their relationship- almost arrogant.
Suddenly, Nessie’s harsh whispers stopped. I waited a few seconds before stepping back into the living room, two drinks in hand. I stopped abruptly, noticing Nessie was looking at the pictures in my desk.
The pictures I had just developed while talking to Leah.
The pictures of her wedding.
The pictures that showed only her, looking dazzling and gorgeous in white.
The twenty or so pictures of only her…
Powerless to stop it, I saw as her trembling hand reached and took my favorite picture. One that showed her walking down the isle, her white dress flowing behind her while her eyes looked innocent and hopeful.
“That’s my favorite,” I said, my voice hoarse and fearful.
Nessie turned, her mouth opened in shock and her eyes tearful. “I saw a picture and thought they were from the wedding… I didn’t mean to snoop around… I-“ she rambled, I could practically see her mind trying to wrap around the idea.
She looked around the desk, eyeing all the pictures, her face bewildered. “They’re all of me?” she asked, turning to me.
I just nodded, my face solemn, determined not to show too much emotion. I was afraid she would be disgusted by my stalker-ish qualities.
“But you never said anything. You’re… my friend.” I winced at her panicked words.
“I… I don’t understand,” she whispered, giving me a pleading look to explain.
My silence made the air around us thick with anticipation. It was too much for Nessie, unable to take it anymore.
A lonely tear slipped down her cheek as she implored, “Please say something.”
Suddenly, I had no idea where to start. She was obviously not in a good place right now, she was married, and whatever I could say would only be an escape for her… it could never be the real thing.
Fearful of what this moment might mean for us, I was too much of a coward to face the situation.
“I have to go…” I said, my voice sounding foreign even to me. Quickly pulling the drinks on the small table, I turned and headed towards the door.
“Jake.” I turned around to see Nessie moving towards me.
I shook my head and motioned for her to stop. “It’s a… self preservation thing you see.”
My heart yelled for me to stop being stupid and take the opportunity. To take her into my arms and kiss her like I always wanted, but my mind knew better. Not waiting for her reply, I turned, grabbed my jacket and stepped out to the cold.
I walked all the way to the park two blocks away from my loft. The horrible feeling in my stomach growing with every step, by the time I passed the park it was unbearable. Like my body was telling me just what a huge-fucking mistake I was making.
“What the fuck am I doing?!” I asked out loud.
With that final thought I turned and ran back to my place. The sickening feeling never left me; by the time I got past my front door I knew I had fucked up beyond belief. My house was empty, no sign of her anyplace I looked.
The only sign she had been here was the Christmas present she left behind; she had moved it to the table next to our drinks. A small piece of paper sat on top of it.
Like a zombie, I took the small note and put it aside, not wanting to read it just yet. I smiled warmly as I noticed the Peanuts cartoon wrapping paper; it was just something that just screamed Nessie.
I opened the present; my hands trembled as I realized her gift. It was a new, state of the art, professional camera. The same one I told I would get myself as a Christmas present back when we were still talking, before her wedding.
The pre-written note attached to the gift just said,
To: Jake
From: Nessie
Happy Holidays! Hope you like your gift. It was less pathetic if a friend actually gave it to you.
Love,
Nessie ;)
I carefully placed the camera on the table along with the card and moved to read the piece of paper she wrote before she left.
Jake,
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So I guess it’s unfair of me to ask for more.Especially when I can’t even show you how I feel… it’s complicated… I don’t know
I have the picture… I guess its my favorite as well, but only because you took it…
I’m embarrassed by my behavior and I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you.
See you at the Times Xmas party.
With all my love,
Nessie
PS. Hope we can still be friends.
As I finished reading the note I realized that I couldn’t go back to being friends.
Bella POV
“God, I love the holidays,” I said, as I took a sip of my peppermint mocha, which unfortunately they only offered in winter.
To say I looked forward to this flavor every year was a tad pathetic and obviously very sad, but it always seemed to brighten my mood. Today, it was exactly what I needed.
Last night, Nessie had come home with a devastated look on her eyes. It only took me a second to guess what had happened. After I commented that Nahuel wasn’t home yet, Nessie broke down crying and mumbled something about Jacob and how love was so confusing. I just held her and let her cry, not daring say anything in case it was the wrong thing. She spent the night with me- as was our routine by now- and I spent the night consoling her until we fell asleep.
I knew her marriage was crumbling down, but I held back from saying ‘I told you so’. I always knew her relationship with Nahuel was always more out of habit than love. To say it had been a couple of rough weeks for both of us was a complete understatement.
Breaking up with Mike had not a good way to end the year, but it was for the best. Moving to Seattle had been a harsh and stupid move, but it has also given me the opportunity to be with my sister in her time of need. Also to expand my horizons work-wise.
Come on, Bella, the only good thing from work is Edward.
Shaking my head, I chastised myself for acknowledging the little crush I had on my new boss.
The day of my interview I had been so nervous that I didn’t think to make the connection between Edward and Carlisle Cullen. Even though the interview with Carlisle had gone well, I was sure Edward would object to my hiring- after all, I had practically hit on his father.
I was completely amazed when later that day, Carlisle called me and offered me the position. For now, I was covering Leah’s column- she was a book critic, something that was in my comfort zone- after she came back, Carlisle and Edward would decided if they could keep me under a new assignment.
Working with Edward was confusing to say the least. He seemed to like my writing and approach to my work, but he was never more than professional with me- I could even say he was a little cold towards me. But it was for the best, if his cold demeanor made me nervous beyond belief, I couldn’t begin to imagine what any friendliness from him would do to my body.
Probably turn you into a quivering mess.
“Shut up,” I said to myself.
“I didn’t say anything,” a warm voice- that made my knees weak- spoke behind me.
I spun abruptly to meet Edward looking down at me, an amused expression on his face.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Getting my caffeine fix,” he said, waving his cup and quirking an eyebrow, probably wondering about my sanity.
Duh, Bella! What else would he do at Starbucks?
I laughed nervously, realizing I was still standing in front of the counter where I picked up my coffee. The traitorous blush was already giving away my embarrassment.
“Sorry… stupid question,” I said.
“I’m sorry if I startled you,” Edward said at the same time as I.
We both smiled. “Shall we?” he asked, motioning towards the door.
I nodded and tried not to jump when I felt his hand rest on the small of my back, wordlessly leading me outside. I wondered why I had never run into him. After all, the shop was only two blocks away from the office.
He opened the door for me and I smiled, grateful for his gentlemanly ways. “Thanks.”
“I actually wanted to apologize,” he said as we stepped outside the shop.
I glanced at him, wearily. “Whatever for?”
He looked sheepishly at me. “I kinda acted like an ass, when we met,” he said. “And I just feel weird working together and me only knowing how attracted you are to my dad.”
I allowed myself to laugh at his teasing tone. “So, I guess the only solution is for you to tell me another detail about you,” he said nonchalantly.
“There’s really not much to know-“ I trailed off. “My life is kinda boring, actually.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. On the contrary, I find you… intriguing.”
I raised an eyebrow at the curious statement. “Well… I just moved here from Arizona.”
“Wow, quite a change. Got bored of the warm weather?”
“Not really… I actually hate the cold, rainy places,” I sad, shivering slightly.
“Then why did you escape the sun?” he seemed genuinely curious.
“I just wanted a new start… bad breakups kinda do that to you,” I said nonchalantly, wincing internally for saying too much.
“I see- I’m sorry?“ Edward said uncomfortably.
I shook my head dismissively. “Don’t be, I’m better off. Who wants a guy who reminds me chocolate brownies are not healthy because: ‘Who would want a fat girlfriend?’…” I mimicked Mike stern tone as I said it.
“I sure don’t, I like my calorie infused pastries way too much. I guess the next guy I date has to like a little junk in the trunk,” I tried to joke.
Edward’s startled expression told me I’d gone a little to far. I felt my face heat up and thanked God we were just outside our building.
“Bella, I don’t-“
“Good, we’re here!” I interrupted a little enthusiastically. “Well, gotta go finish that column before my deadline. Don’t want my editor to fire me.”
I didn’t wait for a response as I practically ran towards the elevator, chastising myself for acting like a fool whenever Edward was near. God, he’ll think I’m so pathetic.
I spent the rest of my day avoiding Edward like the plague. I finished my assignment, sent it through email and worked on the proposal for the column that would ensure my permanent stay on the Times.
Around noon I called the art department in search of Jacob, but Alice Whitlock- who was in charge of art department- told me he had taken a personal day. I had hoped I could speak with him about Nessie, but apparently that conversation would have to wait.
Alice must’ve sensed my disappointment since she asked me to accompany her to lunch. We agreed go to the little sandwich shop at the lobby. Once we ordered, Alice almost made me choke on my meal when she asked me about Edward.
“So, I saw you and Edward Cullen coming in together,” Alice said, excited about the new gossip.
“We ran into each other at Starbucks,” I said, guarding my thoughts
“He’s single, you know?”
I tried not to react to the information. So I just nodded nonchalantly and asked Alice about the Christmas party she was planning for the newspaper. She immediately went off about it. By the end of the day, Alice had harassed me into the decoration committee. Other than that, I had a good time hanging out with Alice.
Before leaving, Alice bough a piece of pie for dessert. I decided to decline the offer for sweets, remembering my earlier conversation with Edward and feeling self-conscious about it. We promised to have lunch sometime next week to plan the decorations and then parted ways.
The rest of the day was uneventful. At exactly five o clock, I saw Edward approaching the batch of desks were mine was. Panicked, I took some random files and headed towards the copier- the one that was on the other side of the room. I took my time doing the copies, only to ensure he would be gone by the time I came back to my desk.
Feeling like an ass for acting so childish, I promised I would act normal the next time I saw him. Walking back to my desk, I immediately noticed a little brown bag on top of it.
Almost everyone had left at this point, so I wondered if someone had mistakenly left it behind. Shrugging, I took the bag and opened it. I was immediately assaulted by the wonderful smell of chocolate.
The bag had a chocolate muffin -like the ones they sold at the shop in the lobby- and a small paper. I took the note and opened it, my eyes widening as I realized whom it was from.
Bella,
Heard you didn’t have dessert, so I thought I should remedy that.
-Edward.
PS. Your ex is an idiot. I think you are beautiful.
It took me a moment to realize I was not dreaming, but my smile didn’t fade all night.
Chapter 4
Chapter 2