Fic: Pale

[twiga13]

Well, here’s my first attempt at writing a fic :D

I wrote it to the song Pale by Within Temptation.

Plz tell my what you think about it, critics are very welcome ^-^

Hope you’ll like it!

Title: Pale

Pairing: hints of Asami/Aki

Warnings: none I guess…

Rating: PG 13 (I think so at least…)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yamane Ayano

Summary: Aki’s

Comments

[kurosaki9]

he's contradicting himself and yet he finds that which he needs and wants the most, Asami. He wants the older man and he can't seem to forget him. For him it might be painful at first, but when he sees all the times that Asami was with him, he stops and rethinks the whole situation. He loves Asami and Asami cares for him. They have found their other half.... that's what i got and damn... good first attempt in writing.... i hope u continue...

[twiga13]

thanks, I'm glad you like it.

yay, first attempt a success :D
I think their relationship is really complicated and difficult, but in the end they do belong togheter...

maybe I will... thanks for reading!

So Beautiful and poetic

[sakura_fubuki_x]

I loooooove Within Temptation I will have to check out that song, "Pale". I also love "Dark Wings", too.

I see the face of an angel who calls my name…

It’s you! You came, you came back to me even though I rejected you.

You hold me, you give me strength and tell me it will be alright, that you will stay with me and never leave me alone again…

I love this part, poor Aki! You are right Asami is a lot like his guardian angel, because he has looked after him all the way from the beginning even after they first met. Maybe more like a dark guardian angel because of the world he lives in. Asami it is time to make an appearance and save him. It is time for them to be reunited. I sooooooo want to see this! Thanks for posting it is written so well. Beautiful! I hope those two get their moment together real soon! ;)

I remember, you’re the reason…

[sakura_fubuki_x]

I remember, you’re the reason…

With you, I can pull through, I can stand it.

If only you never leave me then I don’t care about anything.

Please, please be with me, help me to go back, to find the person I once was, to be yours again.

Don’t break me, save me, chase the darkness away and swear that whatever happens you’ll be with me forever!

It's true Asami is what got him through it even though he wasn't there. He is all Aki can think about and Aki is all Asami can think about. Their relationship is really going to change once they see each other again. I just wonder if Aki knows yet how much Asami cares for him. Guess we have to wait and find out. The waiting is already killing me! LOL! Btw, for a first attempt this was incredible! You expressed so much emotion from the beginning to the end, too. Loved it! Keep up the good work! Gambette! ;)

Re: I remember, you’re the reason…

[twiga13]

O.O just saw the second part of the comment now ^_^

I'm sure their relationship will change, it has to, because if they keep it as it was aki won't be able to bear it and it would just feel wrong.
I think aki somehow feels that asami cares for him, he just needs it to be told clearly by asami.

Thanks, I'm very happy you thought it was so good :D I'll try to keep it up!

Re: I remember, you’re the reason…

[sakura_fubuki_x]

I'm sure their relationship will change, it has to, because if they keep it as it was aki won't be able to bear it and it would just feel wrong. I think aki somehow feels that asami cares for him, he just needs it to be told clearly by asami.

Well if they both feel the same way then he's going to tell him or show him. I'm more then okay if he does both! Also how much longer can they hold back. Aki has given himself some relief but Asami hasn't. Then again, Aki may not have given himself enough. Definitely more then fireworks when they see each other again! ;)

Thanks, I'm very happy you thought it was so good :D I'll try to keep it up!

Yes please do. Like I said gambette! ;)

[pugsley]

Nicely done!! It really reflects Akihito's feelings so well. Thank you for sharing it with us!! :D

I am writing a VF fic about Akihito and this really reflects the mood of my story, as well, so much so that I was amazed that you were able to reflect how I see Akihito feeling. Ironic if you ask me!! (o';'o)

[twiga13]

thanks, I'm glad you think it's nice :)

hihi, a bit ironic, that's true ^_^ seems like we have similar views of akihitos feelings.

thank you very much for reading and commenting!

[greatgaara40]

... kireiii.. I thinks this is a form of "prose poetry", neee?
I'm.. enchanted .. it's really beautifully written.

"I remember, you’re the reason… With you, I can pull through, I can stand it."
that's really touching.. your writing really brings back memories...
I remembered Aki-chan consumed with his thoughts, when he was still in FeiLong's captive. *goes to find the exact scene *
I really like the illustration of this scene.. Aki-chan really looked stunning in the Cheongsam FeiLong made him wear..
"I want Asami to help me.. I want to go home to Japan"

*bowing*.. thanks for sharing this Twiga-chan.. Kirei!

[twiga13]

^___^ I'm very happy that you think it's beautiful!
hmm, actually I don't know about different types of lyric, especially not in english ^.^

it's good to see that my writing triggered memories and emotions in you, I think that's very important.
yea, that scene was very touching~~ poor aki, hope you'll get home soon~~~

Thank you for reading and commenting gaara-san :)

[greatgaara40]

pleasure is mine :). Keep writing Twiga, Ganbatte!

PS : I'm Lily. Yoroushiku , nice 2 meet you V^_^V

[twiga13]

^-^ nice to meet you too Lily-san!

arigatou-gozaimasu, I'll try to carry on writing :D

[starawings]

nice, I like this way you portraited Aki's thoughts after being kidnapped... an dteh song is very nice as well, I believe I have it on Cd.. I do like within Temptation, Saw then once in concert. their dutch you know....

[twiga13]

I'm happy you liked my portrait of aki :)
yeah, within temptation is great, the singer has a very beautiful voice. I wanna go to a concert of them too~~ ;D

thanks for reading and commenting (^-^)