FanFic] Flood of Love
title: Flood of Love
author: Twiglet71
genre: angst
length: chaptered
pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
rating: pg
summery: The time has come for Jae to say goodbye to his family.
A/N sorry to leave it so long. Work has caught up with me and I have been really tired.
Chapter six
I lay inside the metal tube, my eyes closed and my hands clasped to my chest. I’d always opted not to listen to music while having my brain scanned, instead preferring to listen to the rhythmic clanging, banging and squealing of the machine. The rhythmic sounds relaxed me and reminded me of some weird electro pop tune. The loud noise was deadened by ear protectors.
This was it, the results of this scan would determine how long the rest of my life would be. I’d managed to speak to so many people last night. I wanted to speak to them before the events of today as I knew today would be a turning point. From tonight I would either be living with the fact I would be dead soon or preparing for a major operation that if it didn’t kill me would enable me to live but debilitate me for a while. I felt like this was the end of Kim Jaejoong as I and others knew him.
If I had the op it could save my life but it might affect my ability to walk, talk, reason etc.. Nobody really knew what effect the removal of the tumour might have on my life except the possibility of saving it.
As the electro pop stopped I opened my eyes and realised I was crying. I knew the technicians would give me a few moments to compose myself before I faced Yunho and the others waiting diligently outside in the waiting room. The technicians helped me to stand and manoeuvre myself into my wheel chair. My regular visits to their department had enabled us to strike up a sort of friendship.
I was greeted outside by my best friends and we chatted quietly on the way back to my room. I dozed in Yunho’s arms when we arrived. I was woken by Yunho shaking me gently and whispering in my ear. The boys were still there but they had been joined by my doctor and two strangers.
“Hello Jae” My doctor smiled and gestured towards his two colleagues.
“Hi doc. How are you?”
“I’m fine thank you. This is Doctor Chang. He is a specialist in brain surgery and this is doctor Choi. He is new on the team as has decided to specialise in Oncology. I have called them in to examine you scan results and to assist me. I hope this is ok?” The two doctors smiled and bowed to me. Dr Choi looked so young but I trusted my doctor completely and knew he would only work with good people.
“Ok, so you have news for us already?” Yunho asked impatiently.
“Yes. I’m sorry about the late hour but I’ve treated this case as apriority. We’ve examined the scan results and feel we are able to operate.” There was a huge sigh of relief from everyone in the room.
“I’m speaking to you at this late hour as I want to operate first thing in the morning.” He looked at his watch. “You have to fast for six hours so you have exactly ninety minutes to eat and drink. Please try to eat something Jaejoong as you will need your strength. The anaesthetist will be here in a moment to give you the once over, then try to rest.” I tried to absorb what the doctor was saying but all I could think about was the risk of dying on the operating table. I would die without the operation anyway so there was no question of refusing it. I let Yunho ask the questions, I knew he would give me any information I needed later.
After the doctors left I was given some food and drink which I barely managed to eat. The anaesthetist came and took my blood and gave a check up. At last I was left alone with my lover and my best friends. I didn’t want to sleep. I stopped the boys from going home, I wanted them with me. I wanted to savour every minute with them. I asked them to go down to the waiting fans and tell them the news. I felt they had the right to be the first to know. I rang my parents to tell them what was happening and they said they would be there first thing in the morning to be with me before the operation.
When the boys returned we all huddled on the bed together. About thirty minutes later a nurse came into the room.
“Jaejoong, are you well enough to go to your window?” We all sat up and looked at her.
“Why?”
“If you feel well enough please go and have a look.” She left the room without another word and we made our way to the window and looked out. I couldn’t believe what I saw. The fans had discovered which room I was in and had gathered outside my window. Even though we were three floors up we could clearly see the red balloons and banners they held aloft. Once again I welled up with tears. Damn this disease! It had turned us all into cry babies!
“Listen everyone. Would you go down and tell them I really appreciate everything they are doing. Can you see if they need anything, food drink…….” Min cut in “No point asking them to go home so we might as well make sure they are comfortable.” I smiled at him. “Exactly.”
Yunho hugged me close “I’m staying here so Jae isn’t on his own. Oh and make sure the reporters down there have the truth!”
The boys turned and left the room and Yunho kept hugging me. “Come on hun get back into bed.”
“Another five minutes Yunnie.” I kissed his cheek and snuggled up as close to him as I could. I was reluctant to leave the window and lose sight of the fans that were now being addressed by the rest of the band.
“You know what Yun, this might be the last time I see Cassiopeia”.
“What Jae? What are you saying?” His arms enfolded me as he led me back to my bed.
“You know I might not survive the operation.” He gently helped me onto my bed, his face expressionless, as if he did not hear me.
“Yunnie………………..”
“Please don’t talk like that baby……you shouldn’t…”
I interrupted him and held his face between my shaking hands. “We have to be realistic Yunho. We have to face the truth.”
He sighed deeply as he placed the covers over me. “Yunnie look at me.” He lifted his head to face me as I continued.
“You know where my will is and my funeral wishes, I know the practicalities are sorted but…..”
“But what, Jae?” I could hear the tension in his voice.
“If I die Yunho I want you to carry on with Dong Bang Shin Ki. And…..”
“No! Absolutely not!......”
“Yunho let me speak. This might be the last time we are alone together like this.” He bowed his head for a second and then raised it again, our tear soaked eyes meeting. He nodded gently. I took a deep breath before I continued.
“I need you to carry on without me. I don’t want you to forget me but I want you to live a happy life. Don’t live without me but live for me. Do all the things we planned to do together. Travel, buy the big house, settled down with someone, and adopt a couple of kids. I’m sorry we didn’t get around to having matching tattoos but still get yours.” As I spoke I could hear him crying quietly. “Do this for me Yunnie, live for me. I can die in peace if I know you will live on.”
“I don’t know if I can Jae. You are my life.” His voice was broken with pain. “It hurts baby, it hurts so much to think of life without you.”
“Yunho look at me.” His eyes met mine. “If I die and you, who will still be alive, wastes that precious life….how fair is that?” By now both of our faces were wet with tears. “You know I love life but mine might be snatched from me. I know you will be in pain at first but once you get through that I want you to live a good life in my honour. Find someone else to love, settle down, have the house and kids and be happy.” We held each other close and I felt so drained and tired, my eyes grew heavy and closed.
I awoke to a room full of people. My parents were there chatting with the boys. They saw I was awake and spent time talking to me. My mother became tearful from time to time but was consoled by my Father and Yunho.
Then the time came. The doctors arrived for one last chat. I was transferred to the operating bed and it was time to say my goodbyes. Everyone but Yunho and my parents left the room. After many hugs and kisses they accompanied me out of the room and down the corridors where I was pushed by the nurses. As we approached the doors of the operating area my parents kissed me and then stopped walking. Yunho still walked with me grasping my hand. As we got to the door Yunho kissed me. “I’ll be right here waiting for you baby. I love you.” I was so scared as Yunho let go of my hand. As I heard the doors close behind me I yelled “I love you Yunnie!”
author: Twiglet71
genre: angst
length: chaptered
pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
rating: pg
summery: The time has come for Jae to say goodbye to his family.
A/N sorry to leave it so long. Work has caught up with me and I have been really tired.
Chapter six
I lay inside the metal tube, my eyes closed and my hands clasped to my chest. I’d always opted not to listen to music while having my brain scanned, instead preferring to listen to the rhythmic clanging, banging and squealing of the machine. The rhythmic sounds relaxed me and reminded me of some weird electro pop tune. The loud noise was deadened by ear protectors.
This was it, the results of this scan would determine how long the rest of my life would be. I’d managed to speak to so many people last night. I wanted to speak to them before the events of today as I knew today would be a turning point. From tonight I would either be living with the fact I would be dead soon or preparing for a major operation that if it didn’t kill me would enable me to live but debilitate me for a while. I felt like this was the end of Kim Jaejoong as I and others knew him.
If I had the op it could save my life but it might affect my ability to walk, talk, reason etc.. Nobody really knew what effect the removal of the tumour might have on my life except the possibility of saving it.
As the electro pop stopped I opened my eyes and realised I was crying. I knew the technicians would give me a few moments to compose myself before I faced Yunho and the others waiting diligently outside in the waiting room. The technicians helped me to stand and manoeuvre myself into my wheel chair. My regular visits to their department had enabled us to strike up a sort of friendship.
I was greeted outside by my best friends and we chatted quietly on the way back to my room. I dozed in Yunho’s arms when we arrived. I was woken by Yunho shaking me gently and whispering in my ear. The boys were still there but they had been joined by my doctor and two strangers.
“Hello Jae” My doctor smiled and gestured towards his two colleagues.
“Hi doc. How are you?”
“I’m fine thank you. This is Doctor Chang. He is a specialist in brain surgery and this is doctor Choi. He is new on the team as has decided to specialise in Oncology. I have called them in to examine you scan results and to assist me. I hope this is ok?” The two doctors smiled and bowed to me. Dr Choi looked so young but I trusted my doctor completely and knew he would only work with good people.
“Ok, so you have news for us already?” Yunho asked impatiently.
“Yes. I’m sorry about the late hour but I’ve treated this case as apriority. We’ve examined the scan results and feel we are able to operate.” There was a huge sigh of relief from everyone in the room.
“I’m speaking to you at this late hour as I want to operate first thing in the morning.” He looked at his watch. “You have to fast for six hours so you have exactly ninety minutes to eat and drink. Please try to eat something Jaejoong as you will need your strength. The anaesthetist will be here in a moment to give you the once over, then try to rest.” I tried to absorb what the doctor was saying but all I could think about was the risk of dying on the operating table. I would die without the operation anyway so there was no question of refusing it. I let Yunho ask the questions, I knew he would give me any information I needed later.
After the doctors left I was given some food and drink which I barely managed to eat. The anaesthetist came and took my blood and gave a check up. At last I was left alone with my lover and my best friends. I didn’t want to sleep. I stopped the boys from going home, I wanted them with me. I wanted to savour every minute with them. I asked them to go down to the waiting fans and tell them the news. I felt they had the right to be the first to know. I rang my parents to tell them what was happening and they said they would be there first thing in the morning to be with me before the operation.
When the boys returned we all huddled on the bed together. About thirty minutes later a nurse came into the room.
“Jaejoong, are you well enough to go to your window?” We all sat up and looked at her.
“Why?”
“If you feel well enough please go and have a look.” She left the room without another word and we made our way to the window and looked out. I couldn’t believe what I saw. The fans had discovered which room I was in and had gathered outside my window. Even though we were three floors up we could clearly see the red balloons and banners they held aloft. Once again I welled up with tears. Damn this disease! It had turned us all into cry babies!
“Listen everyone. Would you go down and tell them I really appreciate everything they are doing. Can you see if they need anything, food drink…….” Min cut in “No point asking them to go home so we might as well make sure they are comfortable.” I smiled at him. “Exactly.”
Yunho hugged me close “I’m staying here so Jae isn’t on his own. Oh and make sure the reporters down there have the truth!”
The boys turned and left the room and Yunho kept hugging me. “Come on hun get back into bed.”
“Another five minutes Yunnie.” I kissed his cheek and snuggled up as close to him as I could. I was reluctant to leave the window and lose sight of the fans that were now being addressed by the rest of the band.
“You know what Yun, this might be the last time I see Cassiopeia”.
“What Jae? What are you saying?” His arms enfolded me as he led me back to my bed.
“You know I might not survive the operation.” He gently helped me onto my bed, his face expressionless, as if he did not hear me.
“Yunnie………………..”
“Please don’t talk like that baby……you shouldn’t…”
I interrupted him and held his face between my shaking hands. “We have to be realistic Yunho. We have to face the truth.”
He sighed deeply as he placed the covers over me. “Yunnie look at me.” He lifted his head to face me as I continued.
“You know where my will is and my funeral wishes, I know the practicalities are sorted but…..”
“But what, Jae?” I could hear the tension in his voice.
“If I die Yunho I want you to carry on with Dong Bang Shin Ki. And…..”
“No! Absolutely not!......”
“Yunho let me speak. This might be the last time we are alone together like this.” He bowed his head for a second and then raised it again, our tear soaked eyes meeting. He nodded gently. I took a deep breath before I continued.
“I need you to carry on without me. I don’t want you to forget me but I want you to live a happy life. Don’t live without me but live for me. Do all the things we planned to do together. Travel, buy the big house, settled down with someone, and adopt a couple of kids. I’m sorry we didn’t get around to having matching tattoos but still get yours.” As I spoke I could hear him crying quietly. “Do this for me Yunnie, live for me. I can die in peace if I know you will live on.”
“I don’t know if I can Jae. You are my life.” His voice was broken with pain. “It hurts baby, it hurts so much to think of life without you.”
“Yunho look at me.” His eyes met mine. “If I die and you, who will still be alive, wastes that precious life….how fair is that?” By now both of our faces were wet with tears. “You know I love life but mine might be snatched from me. I know you will be in pain at first but once you get through that I want you to live a good life in my honour. Find someone else to love, settle down, have the house and kids and be happy.” We held each other close and I felt so drained and tired, my eyes grew heavy and closed.
I awoke to a room full of people. My parents were there chatting with the boys. They saw I was awake and spent time talking to me. My mother became tearful from time to time but was consoled by my Father and Yunho.
Then the time came. The doctors arrived for one last chat. I was transferred to the operating bed and it was time to say my goodbyes. Everyone but Yunho and my parents left the room. After many hugs and kisses they accompanied me out of the room and down the corridors where I was pushed by the nurses. As we approached the doors of the operating area my parents kissed me and then stopped walking. Yunho still walked with me grasping my hand. As we got to the door Yunho kissed me. “I’ll be right here waiting for you baby. I love you.” I was so scared as Yunho let go of my hand. As I heard the doors close behind me I yelled “I love you Yunnie!”