[fic] hey, let's dance to this song again.
hey, let's dance to this song again.
r (for cussing and heechul in general) - hankyung/siwon (heechul/jay, kyuhyun/zhoumi)
summary: hankyung and siwon break up. angst follows. kim heechul happens.
"hangeng, oh god hangeng, stop- stop, i can't-"
hangeng can't help but throw his hands in the air. "what do you want, shiyuan?" he spits out, sharp and vicious. "i can't keep doing this, back and forth, back and forth." he pulls himself completely off siwon, throws on his shirt with quick angry movements. "i don't want this anymore," he says, chinese that rolls off his tongue even faster than usual, because he's angry and hurt and tired, and leaves the room without looking back.
siwon watches him goes, falls back on the couch with his fingers touching his lips and wonders if he'll ever have enough courage.
"so, sungmin and i are gonna hit the club tonight, there's a new one open that's 'the shit', according to hyukjae. you're coming, right?"
heechul looks away from hangeng's closet mirror to stare at the lump in the bed, noticing for the first time since he's arrived (ten minutes earlier) that hangeng hasn't said a word.
"hey, china doll, you alive in there?" he yanks the covers back to find hangeng staring face up at nothing.
heechul stares at him critically for a moment before yanking the covers back over his face. "i guess that'll be a no, i can't be out in public with you looking like that."
siwon calls him the next day, then the next, but hangeng doesn't pick up the phone. he doesn't want to talk to him and be dragged into the mess that is siwon debating his religion while hangeng's trying to blow him off.
zhoumi comes the next day with food and drinks and a kyuhyun who looks pissed off beyond belief. zhoumi sits him on the couch next to hangeng (where he hasn't moved all day) and cheerfully explains "he was playing a game when i turned off his laptop. he needs fresh air and conversation with real people!" kyuhyun snarls something that sounds like god if my parents didn't love you- as zhoumi kisses his cheek, all smiles, and attempts to cook.
hangeng wonders briefly if he should worry about the apartment burning down before his cell phone buzzes in his hand again.
hangeng doesn't answer it, but ignores the fact he holds his cell in his hand all day.
hangeng finds pictures of the weekend he and siwon had spent at the beach house jay owned. they both look clichéd and happy with their hands around each other.
he finds the shot of siwon kissing his cheek the older lady in the house next to them had taken, and his cell is in his hands before he can think.
he stares at it before putting it carefully down.
he won't be an uncertainty in anyone's life, especially if he's sure (completely absolutely ridiculously forever sure) about them.
"siwon has a girlfriend," heechul happily announces.
he flings himself down on jay's lap and hangeng notices the way jay's hand comes to stroke his arm without a thought, just sure and absently as if he's done it forever. he sees the same thing in the small flash he sees in heechul's eyes as he gives jay a quick kiss on the cheek.
donghae chokes on his beer and his girlfriend (second one this week, big eyes and pixie cut hair and a body that's curvy and slightly plump) thumps him on the back, grinning cheerfully.
hangeng should be more surprised than he is. shocked, indignant, but instead he feels just a quiet hurt in his chest that he knows will linger and grow.
"she's gorgeous, that bitch, and nice. makes you wanna claw her eyes out, if you didn't know she's so sweet she'd probably help you."
hangeng sinks a little more in jay's threadbare couch and says nothing.
"rella," jay says, nods in hangeng's direction.
hangeng slips away from the living room, decides that he wants to get drunk on his own in jay's guest room.
siwon's calls start to come less and less and hangeng's quiet hurt grows more and more.
"this is so clichéd it's not even funny. want me to tell you how the story ends?" heechul swings his legs as he lays on hangeng's bed on his stomach, flipping through a porno rag sungmin had apparently slipped into hangeng's extra pillowcase, with a note (for those nights when things get boring, which i'm sure is often~ ^^).
hangeng shakes his head. "no thanks."
heechul looks up, exasperated. "don't be such an angsty hero, china doll. i'm sure he's missing you terribly and thinks you've moved on and would cry if you called him because he's been thinking about you every minute of every hour of every day. cause you're oxygen to him and without you he's incomplete and his life has no color if you're around and every other metaphor you can think of."
hangeng stares at him. "really, i don't think i understood a word you said."
heechul rolls his eyes and turns back to the magazine. "that's why your life is miserable, hankyung, you'd be living la dolce vida if you'd just paid attention to what i said."
"hey. so if you and siwon aren't together any more, does that mean i have a chance with you?" heechul has taken over hangeng's bed (his apartment his life) again, and the look he gives hangeng doesn't feel like a joke.
hangeng just focuses on the video game on this computer. "and what about jay?"
heechul moves from the bed to drape himself over hangeng's shoulders, and the whisper of his voice in hangeng's ear makes him jump and accidently fall of a cliff. "he wouldn't mind. i think he'd like it, actually."
hangeng turns from the game and pushes heechul lightly away. "this is a no kink zone."
heechul only laughs. "when siwon isn't around, you forgot to add."
hangeng doesn't feel girly at all when he throws a shoe at heechul.
it's three in the morning and hangeng picks up the phone without thinking. "what?"
"i'm sorry."
it takes him just a second and he's wide awake, fingers gripping the plastic of his cell. "and?"
"i'm sorry. and i love you. and i'm stupid. and- and i'm probably going to continue being stupid, and i can't promise i won't hurt you again but i can promise that i won't push you away." silence, a shaky intake of a breath. "i'm going crazy without you."
hangeng sighs, brushes his hair away from his forehead.
he hates when heechul is right.
"seriously, you guys could've have a little longer?" heechul sneers at them as he tries to shove his plate of food at jay, only to have jay push it back with a look. he points his chopsticks at siwon, and siwon involuntarily jerks back a little. "i almost got into hankyung's pants, you know. just a week longer and he'd be so hard up for sex he'd probably agree to anything." he glares and turns to jay to pat his cheek. "it's okay baby, i'll make sure you get a threesome soon." jay pauses with his food halfway to his mouth, looks as if he's going to say something, then decides just to shake his head to himself and continue eating.
three months earlier and hangeng would've laughed, kissed away the blush on siwon's cheeks, but siwon's only been back for three days and hangeng isn't ready yet.
he's still waiting for siwon to switch sides and push him away again.
"is he-" siwon leans into hangeng, just a little, testing, and hangeng lets him with a smile.
"yeah, he's for real. already tried once." hangeng doesn't blink. "you have to stay close to make sure he doesn't get to me."
siwon doesn't blink either, but nods once, slow. "i'll try to say within shouting distance."
it's a start, hangeng thinks, and he holds siwon's hand as heechul tries to climb into his lap and jay just laughs.
note: i missed sihan badly. D: and skfjaskl this was supposed to be just straight up angst, but yeah, you see how this ended up. XD many thanks to my junsu for beta'ing. <3
r (for cussing and heechul in general) - hankyung/siwon (heechul/jay, kyuhyun/zhoumi)
summary: hankyung and siwon break up. angst follows. kim heechul happens.
"hangeng, oh god hangeng, stop- stop, i can't-"
hangeng can't help but throw his hands in the air. "what do you want, shiyuan?" he spits out, sharp and vicious. "i can't keep doing this, back and forth, back and forth." he pulls himself completely off siwon, throws on his shirt with quick angry movements. "i don't want this anymore," he says, chinese that rolls off his tongue even faster than usual, because he's angry and hurt and tired, and leaves the room without looking back.
siwon watches him goes, falls back on the couch with his fingers touching his lips and wonders if he'll ever have enough courage.
"so, sungmin and i are gonna hit the club tonight, there's a new one open that's 'the shit', according to hyukjae. you're coming, right?"
heechul looks away from hangeng's closet mirror to stare at the lump in the bed, noticing for the first time since he's arrived (ten minutes earlier) that hangeng hasn't said a word.
"hey, china doll, you alive in there?" he yanks the covers back to find hangeng staring face up at nothing.
heechul stares at him critically for a moment before yanking the covers back over his face. "i guess that'll be a no, i can't be out in public with you looking like that."
siwon calls him the next day, then the next, but hangeng doesn't pick up the phone. he doesn't want to talk to him and be dragged into the mess that is siwon debating his religion while hangeng's trying to blow him off.
zhoumi comes the next day with food and drinks and a kyuhyun who looks pissed off beyond belief. zhoumi sits him on the couch next to hangeng (where he hasn't moved all day) and cheerfully explains "he was playing a game when i turned off his laptop. he needs fresh air and conversation with real people!" kyuhyun snarls something that sounds like god if my parents didn't love you- as zhoumi kisses his cheek, all smiles, and attempts to cook.
hangeng wonders briefly if he should worry about the apartment burning down before his cell phone buzzes in his hand again.
hangeng doesn't answer it, but ignores the fact he holds his cell in his hand all day.
hangeng finds pictures of the weekend he and siwon had spent at the beach house jay owned. they both look clichéd and happy with their hands around each other.
he finds the shot of siwon kissing his cheek the older lady in the house next to them had taken, and his cell is in his hands before he can think.
he stares at it before putting it carefully down.
he won't be an uncertainty in anyone's life, especially if he's sure (completely absolutely ridiculously forever sure) about them.
"siwon has a girlfriend," heechul happily announces.
he flings himself down on jay's lap and hangeng notices the way jay's hand comes to stroke his arm without a thought, just sure and absently as if he's done it forever. he sees the same thing in the small flash he sees in heechul's eyes as he gives jay a quick kiss on the cheek.
donghae chokes on his beer and his girlfriend (second one this week, big eyes and pixie cut hair and a body that's curvy and slightly plump) thumps him on the back, grinning cheerfully.
hangeng should be more surprised than he is. shocked, indignant, but instead he feels just a quiet hurt in his chest that he knows will linger and grow.
"she's gorgeous, that bitch, and nice. makes you wanna claw her eyes out, if you didn't know she's so sweet she'd probably help you."
hangeng sinks a little more in jay's threadbare couch and says nothing.
"rella," jay says, nods in hangeng's direction.
hangeng slips away from the living room, decides that he wants to get drunk on his own in jay's guest room.
siwon's calls start to come less and less and hangeng's quiet hurt grows more and more.
"this is so clichéd it's not even funny. want me to tell you how the story ends?" heechul swings his legs as he lays on hangeng's bed on his stomach, flipping through a porno rag sungmin had apparently slipped into hangeng's extra pillowcase, with a note (for those nights when things get boring, which i'm sure is often~ ^^).
hangeng shakes his head. "no thanks."
heechul looks up, exasperated. "don't be such an angsty hero, china doll. i'm sure he's missing you terribly and thinks you've moved on and would cry if you called him because he's been thinking about you every minute of every hour of every day. cause you're oxygen to him and without you he's incomplete and his life has no color if you're around and every other metaphor you can think of."
hangeng stares at him. "really, i don't think i understood a word you said."
heechul rolls his eyes and turns back to the magazine. "that's why your life is miserable, hankyung, you'd be living la dolce vida if you'd just paid attention to what i said."
"hey. so if you and siwon aren't together any more, does that mean i have a chance with you?" heechul has taken over hangeng's bed (his apartment his life) again, and the look he gives hangeng doesn't feel like a joke.
hangeng just focuses on the video game on this computer. "and what about jay?"
heechul moves from the bed to drape himself over hangeng's shoulders, and the whisper of his voice in hangeng's ear makes him jump and accidently fall of a cliff. "he wouldn't mind. i think he'd like it, actually."
hangeng turns from the game and pushes heechul lightly away. "this is a no kink zone."
heechul only laughs. "when siwon isn't around, you forgot to add."
hangeng doesn't feel girly at all when he throws a shoe at heechul.
it's three in the morning and hangeng picks up the phone without thinking. "what?"
"i'm sorry."
it takes him just a second and he's wide awake, fingers gripping the plastic of his cell. "and?"
"i'm sorry. and i love you. and i'm stupid. and- and i'm probably going to continue being stupid, and i can't promise i won't hurt you again but i can promise that i won't push you away." silence, a shaky intake of a breath. "i'm going crazy without you."
hangeng sighs, brushes his hair away from his forehead.
he hates when heechul is right.
"seriously, you guys could've have a little longer?" heechul sneers at them as he tries to shove his plate of food at jay, only to have jay push it back with a look. he points his chopsticks at siwon, and siwon involuntarily jerks back a little. "i almost got into hankyung's pants, you know. just a week longer and he'd be so hard up for sex he'd probably agree to anything." he glares and turns to jay to pat his cheek. "it's okay baby, i'll make sure you get a threesome soon." jay pauses with his food halfway to his mouth, looks as if he's going to say something, then decides just to shake his head to himself and continue eating.
three months earlier and hangeng would've laughed, kissed away the blush on siwon's cheeks, but siwon's only been back for three days and hangeng isn't ready yet.
he's still waiting for siwon to switch sides and push him away again.
"is he-" siwon leans into hangeng, just a little, testing, and hangeng lets him with a smile.
"yeah, he's for real. already tried once." hangeng doesn't blink. "you have to stay close to make sure he doesn't get to me."
siwon doesn't blink either, but nods once, slow. "i'll try to say within shouting distance."
it's a start, hangeng thinks, and he holds siwon's hand as heechul tries to climb into his lap and jay just laughs.
note: i missed sihan badly. D: and skfjaskl this was supposed to be just straight up angst, but yeah, you see how this ended up. XD many thanks to my junsu for beta'ing. <3