[fic] the last testament
the last testament
nc17 - siwon/minho
summary: siwon in the last stages of falling falling falling hard and minho with his bright eyes and tight jeans that gives him a push over into everything he's been taught not to fall into.
note:i wrote this... i don't know how long. i think it was inspired from some way-too-late-at-night talks on plurk? i dunno. i'm feeling kinda wiggly about posting it but i'm doing it anyways cause the wife likes it, and i trust the wife. :D
siwon bites his lip and tries to look down at the stage floor, but it only makes it easier to slide his eyes to the side and watch long thin legs spin and step and turn.
he closes his eyes.
(our father who art in heaven)
backstage, everything is a clutter of talking and laughing and hands on small of backs and siwon thinks he might suffocate with it. he tries to smile and he kisses heechul's cheeks when heechul wants it, but he also tries to hide himself into a corner and dissolve into air. (he thinks it would be black, murky, choking air.)
"hyung?"
siwon wants to scream.
minho's eyes are bright. "you did really well today, hyung." he bites his lip like siwon did only hours before, but when minho does it, his eyes fall just slightly closed and his lip turns bright red.
siwon feigns tiredness and hides his face into his hands.
(hollowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done)
siwon doesn't know how to fix himself.
he clutches his bible tight in his hands and presses it to his chest and recites every verse he's ever memorized. (he's forgotten so many.)
he tries to form the words of the verses in his mind, but all he can think of is minho's legs in tight jeans and minho's mouth curving into a quiet smile and minho's hands on his arms as they hug and siwon groans, groans, tugs at his own hair.
(on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread)
"hyung." minho's eyes are sleepy, a hand scratching at the strip of stomach that shows above his pajama jeans.
the sm sleepover has died down. most of siwon's band members are asleep, the exception being kyuhyun reading a comic book on the couch with zhoumi asleep on stomach and hankyung and jaejoong giggling quietly by themselves in the corner and taking pictures.
siwon is sitting in the cold air of the balcony and avoiding temptation. (he never thought temptation would come to him.)
"minhoah." siwon smiles, normal and safe (deceiving, oh lord) and minho slips into his arms and wraps himself tight against siwon.
siwon wants to cry. everything he's held so beloved to him is coming undone by a boy halfway past puberty with little smiles and less words.
(and forgive us our trespassers, as we forgive those who trespass against us)
"hyung." minho looks up at him and there's something in his smile that's new.
"hyung." he reaches up and places his cold hands on siwon's cold cheeks and pulls him just the couple of inches between them and his mouth is burning on siwon's.
the pain in siwon's heart grows, blossoms and explodes, spills out as a moan into minho's mouth and his hands clutching desperately on minho's hips.
"fix me." he pleads into minho's mouth. minho smiles, nods, presses siwon back against the cold bricks and slides down his body. siwon can feel the tears gathering his eyes as minho tugs down his sweat pants and brushes his fingers against siwon's thigh.
minho looks up. "pray for us, hyung." and his mouth stretches over siwon and takes him deep and siwon jerks and his hand hits the wall behind him.
minho slides up, slides down, drags his teeth and hums something against siwon's skin. siwon gasps, groans, presses his hands to his mouth to keep from sobbing as tears slide down his cheeks. it's fire and ice all at once, the heat of minho's mouth against the wind brushing against siwon's arms.
siwon can feel himself shaking, can feel himself get closer and closer to something beautiful and tainted all at once when minho pulls back and smiles again. his mouth is red and shining.
"hyung." he wipes his fingers under siwon's cheeks and he pulls down his pajama pants in one smooth motion and tugs siwon's all the way off with another.
(and lead up not into temptation, but deliver us from evil)
the soft sounds minho makes are drowned out by the sound of flesh sliding against flesh. he clenches his hands tight around the steel of the balcony railing and pushes back to meet siwon, push for pull.
siwon wraps a hand around the hem of minho's shirt, holds tight onto something real and fake, something not soft pale skin.
there's a mountain of something crawling up his chest, every push forward into minho that minho meets makes it crawl up higher and higher until siwon think he just might throw up, pass out, here having sex with the most beautiful boy he's ever seen, with his skin tingling and his mouth dry and his lungs only giving him air in short bursts that leave his mouth to mix with minho's.
"hyung- hyung."
siwon doesn't know his eyes are closed until he opens them and minho is half-lidded eyes and a tongue caught between his teeth and moans on his lips.
he slides a hand up minho's back, minho arches, opens his eyes.
"there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear."
his voice is a whisper in the darkness, a bright light that doesn't shine, and siwon-
"god."
-and comes with his body shuddering, and minho shuddering, and the stars above them flickering.
(for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever)
siwon shakes against the brick wall. he shakes and holds a hand over his mouth because if he doesn't, the cries are going to shake loose from his soul.
minho sits across from him, back against the railing and he's a picture of temptation, is temptation, thighs spread and siwon's fingermarks making the skin of his hips dark and alluring. "hyung." his voice is husky, dry. his hair falls over his eyes and his hand is shaking, trembling, when he brings it up to brush the dark strands away.
siwon can't take his eyes away from the thin fingers that rattle against each other.
he remembers minho's mischievous smiles from just before, minho's hands touching him without hesitation, as he watches minho's hands tremble, and he realizes minho is just as scared as he is. minho is only a boy trying very hard to smile and act like been there, done that when he's doing anything but.
he holds a hand out to minho. minho crawls into his lap. "hyung."
siwon now hears the question that runs along the sentence. he tightens his hands on minho's hips. "...because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."
minho sighs.
siwon cries without crying, face buried into minho's hair that smells like him and sin.
(amen.)
nc17 - siwon/minho
summary: siwon in the last stages of falling falling falling hard and minho with his bright eyes and tight jeans that gives him a push over into everything he's been taught not to fall into.
note:i wrote this... i don't know how long. i think it was inspired from some way-too-late-at-night talks on plurk? i dunno. i'm feeling kinda wiggly about posting it but i'm doing it anyways cause the wife likes it, and i trust the wife. :D
siwon bites his lip and tries to look down at the stage floor, but it only makes it easier to slide his eyes to the side and watch long thin legs spin and step and turn.
he closes his eyes.
(our father who art in heaven)
backstage, everything is a clutter of talking and laughing and hands on small of backs and siwon thinks he might suffocate with it. he tries to smile and he kisses heechul's cheeks when heechul wants it, but he also tries to hide himself into a corner and dissolve into air. (he thinks it would be black, murky, choking air.)
"hyung?"
siwon wants to scream.
minho's eyes are bright. "you did really well today, hyung." he bites his lip like siwon did only hours before, but when minho does it, his eyes fall just slightly closed and his lip turns bright red.
siwon feigns tiredness and hides his face into his hands.
(hollowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done)
siwon doesn't know how to fix himself.
he clutches his bible tight in his hands and presses it to his chest and recites every verse he's ever memorized. (he's forgotten so many.)
he tries to form the words of the verses in his mind, but all he can think of is minho's legs in tight jeans and minho's mouth curving into a quiet smile and minho's hands on his arms as they hug and siwon groans, groans, tugs at his own hair.
(on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread)
"hyung." minho's eyes are sleepy, a hand scratching at the strip of stomach that shows above his pajama jeans.
the sm sleepover has died down. most of siwon's band members are asleep, the exception being kyuhyun reading a comic book on the couch with zhoumi asleep on stomach and hankyung and jaejoong giggling quietly by themselves in the corner and taking pictures.
siwon is sitting in the cold air of the balcony and avoiding temptation. (he never thought temptation would come to him.)
"minhoah." siwon smiles, normal and safe (deceiving, oh lord) and minho slips into his arms and wraps himself tight against siwon.
siwon wants to cry. everything he's held so beloved to him is coming undone by a boy halfway past puberty with little smiles and less words.
(and forgive us our trespassers, as we forgive those who trespass against us)
"hyung." minho looks up at him and there's something in his smile that's new.
"hyung." he reaches up and places his cold hands on siwon's cold cheeks and pulls him just the couple of inches between them and his mouth is burning on siwon's.
the pain in siwon's heart grows, blossoms and explodes, spills out as a moan into minho's mouth and his hands clutching desperately on minho's hips.
"fix me." he pleads into minho's mouth. minho smiles, nods, presses siwon back against the cold bricks and slides down his body. siwon can feel the tears gathering his eyes as minho tugs down his sweat pants and brushes his fingers against siwon's thigh.
minho looks up. "pray for us, hyung." and his mouth stretches over siwon and takes him deep and siwon jerks and his hand hits the wall behind him.
minho slides up, slides down, drags his teeth and hums something against siwon's skin. siwon gasps, groans, presses his hands to his mouth to keep from sobbing as tears slide down his cheeks. it's fire and ice all at once, the heat of minho's mouth against the wind brushing against siwon's arms.
siwon can feel himself shaking, can feel himself get closer and closer to something beautiful and tainted all at once when minho pulls back and smiles again. his mouth is red and shining.
"hyung." he wipes his fingers under siwon's cheeks and he pulls down his pajama pants in one smooth motion and tugs siwon's all the way off with another.
(and lead up not into temptation, but deliver us from evil)
the soft sounds minho makes are drowned out by the sound of flesh sliding against flesh. he clenches his hands tight around the steel of the balcony railing and pushes back to meet siwon, push for pull.
siwon wraps a hand around the hem of minho's shirt, holds tight onto something real and fake, something not soft pale skin.
there's a mountain of something crawling up his chest, every push forward into minho that minho meets makes it crawl up higher and higher until siwon think he just might throw up, pass out, here having sex with the most beautiful boy he's ever seen, with his skin tingling and his mouth dry and his lungs only giving him air in short bursts that leave his mouth to mix with minho's.
"hyung- hyung."
siwon doesn't know his eyes are closed until he opens them and minho is half-lidded eyes and a tongue caught between his teeth and moans on his lips.
he slides a hand up minho's back, minho arches, opens his eyes.
"there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear."
his voice is a whisper in the darkness, a bright light that doesn't shine, and siwon-
"god."
-and comes with his body shuddering, and minho shuddering, and the stars above them flickering.
(for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever)
siwon shakes against the brick wall. he shakes and holds a hand over his mouth because if he doesn't, the cries are going to shake loose from his soul.
minho sits across from him, back against the railing and he's a picture of temptation, is temptation, thighs spread and siwon's fingermarks making the skin of his hips dark and alluring. "hyung." his voice is husky, dry. his hair falls over his eyes and his hand is shaking, trembling, when he brings it up to brush the dark strands away.
siwon can't take his eyes away from the thin fingers that rattle against each other.
he remembers minho's mischievous smiles from just before, minho's hands touching him without hesitation, as he watches minho's hands tremble, and he realizes minho is just as scared as he is. minho is only a boy trying very hard to smile and act like been there, done that when he's doing anything but.
he holds a hand out to minho. minho crawls into his lap. "hyung."
siwon now hears the question that runs along the sentence. he tightens his hands on minho's hips. "...because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."
minho sighs.
siwon cries without crying, face buried into minho's hair that smells like him and sin.
(amen.)