[fic] obsession (you are mine.)
obsession (you are mine.)
nc17 - changmin/jaejoong
1334ws
note: Written for the 2009 Guess Who? FIc Exchange at dbsk_secretgame. Gifted to sunshineyes with the prompt: JaeMin, lose control, just for a little while. WON THIRD PLACE FOR PEOPLE'S CHOICE FAVORITE FIC, WOOHOOOOOOO~ :DDDDDDDDDD
"Let's go driving."
One day, Changmin will learn not to answer the phone at three in the morning because it'll only ever be Jaejoong, and Jaejoong will only ever want to drive him insane.
He stares out the window at buildings blurring past and shifting into dark tall trees as Jaejoong drives like he doesn't know what he's doing.
(He doesn't, not legally. He learned to drive the day after Changmin got his license, driving around in circles in the parking lot of the high school and laughing like freedom.)
"You know, I know what you're thinking."
Jaejoong looks away from the road to grin at Changmin. Changmin reaches out and slaps his cheek lightly with the tips of his fingers. "Keep your eyes on the road, Kim. And it doesn't matter if you know what I'm thinking because obviously you're not listening.
Jaejoong just laughs and spins them around a corner and Changmin feels his stomach roll up, roll down. "Just admit it, you want to touch me. You can't keep your hands off of me."
"That's funny, I seem to be doing just that right now." Changmin looks away and back at the world outside of his car. He thinks he might throw up at the way they're flying past stoplights on red and stop signs, but he can't look away because Jaejoong isn't looking away, and damned if he'll let Jaejoong beat him.
It's a love thing.
Everything has blurred into one long line of colors and fast forward before Jaejoong screeches to a stop in the parking lot of the high school. At the corner by the fire extinguisher, you can still see the marks of Jaejoong's first driving lesson.
"Wanna make out?"
Changmin shakes his head, a hand pressed against his stomach to hold in dinner, breathes in and out through his nose and thinks he should be used to the ride by now. "No thanks. Yoochun will know and I'd really like to not have him come after me."
Jaejoong laughs and crawls over the middle anyway to attach himself to Changmin's side, fingers in his hair and his eyes too close. "He's a big baby, you know he won't do anything. Maybe he'll cry at you."
Changmin thinks about pushing him away but ends up pulling him closer. "That's what I'm afraid of. Yoochun crying will make me feel guilty for the rest of my life."
"I love you, you know," Jaejoong tells him, hands on his cheeks. His eyes catch the light of the streetlamp.
"I know."
Jaejoong shines like diamonds, Changmin thinks. Jaejoong shines like he's the sun itself, and it's more frightening then if he were dull and plastic. Things that shine are things that burn, Changmin's learned. Jaejoong burns as if he needs to melt you and spread you over his skin, cover himself for a little while by pretending to be you. Jaejoong does it without thought; he loses himself in being you and when he's back to being Jaejoong with the shapeshifter bones, you're lost and craving more that he can't give.
It's not a hateful thing, Jaejoong's anything but hateful. Jaejoong is love that burns because it's love without boundaries. That's why he's with Changmin at three in the morning, not with his boyfriend, and that's why tomorrow it'll be Yunho who takes everything in stride with a smile and a shrug, and the next day maybe Junsu, if Junsu is up to letting his heart be broken for whatever leftover traces of Yoochun he can taste.
(Junsu confessed to Jaejoong on a cold Sunday morning, walking Changmin home from a sleepover filled with too many beer bottles.
"I'm in love with Yoochun."
Jaejoong had only laughed. "I don't blame you. He's made for falling in love with. But don't tell him, he'll cry trying to decide which one of us he has to choose."
And Junsu hadn't.)
"You're not thinking about me," Jaejoong murmurs into Changmin's ear. "Actually, I'd like for you to not think at all. Turn that switch off, Changminah." He taps his fingers against Changmin's temple and kisses his neck. "Ride me in the backseat." He grins and starts to tug on Changmin's pajama shirt. "Yoochun won't ever have sex with me in the car."
Every time Jaejoong mentions Yoochun is another wish Changmin makes that he'd never answered his phone. But what Jaejoong wants, Jaejoong gets, because Jaejoong has love in his heart and bright red lips and lean hard muscles and a big dick.
He wiggles the condom packet at Changmin, on his back in the backseat with his pants undone and pushed down his hips. "Want it?"
Changmin snorts as he loosens the draw tie of his pajama bottoms and pushes them around his knees, climbs onto Jaejoong's lap. "Even if I wanted it, would you use it?"
He pushes his boxers down and starts on Jaejoong's when he's stopped by Jaejoong's hand. He looks up and Jaejoong is looking down at him with his lip caught between his teeth. It's an act that comes automatically, even when he doesn't need it. "If you wanted it, Changminah, I'd-"
"Just shut up and fuck me, would you?" Changmin pulls the lube from Jaejoong's pants pocket, has his fingers covered and pushing into himself before he goes on. "You're a slut, but at least you're a somewhat selective slut."
Jaejoong isn't in a rush today, treats him to slow kisses and unhurried sighs. Changmin likes fucks with Jaejoong that feel like this, that let him slowly come apart and lose control. It makes it just a little easier to pretend that Jaejoong loves him best, out of all the three in the morning phone calls he makes.
Jaejoong kisses him afterwards, kisses him through the shudders and holds him to his chest and taps his fingers on Changmin's back in time with his heartbeat. Jaejoong lets him stay until the sun starts to rise.
"Come on, you've got school."
Changmin pulls on his boxers and pants and laughs. "You're so responsible, Kim, so responsible."
The ride home is silent, but just as dangerous and careless as the ride out, and Changmin holds onto the edge of his seat and hopes his body won't fly too far out of the car if they crash.
Jaejoong sings.
-
At school, Junsu looks over the dark marks at Changmin's neck and smiles, just a little sad. "Caught you, huh?"
Changmin smiles back and shrugs. "Like he always does." He pokes at the food on his tray.
"I think- the thing with-" Junsu stops, frowns a little as he tries to figure out in his head how to express all the contradictions Jaejoong embodies. "Jae is everything and nothing, I think. Best way to survive him is to just- let it happen."
Changmin looks up from his food, wondering. Junsu shrugs again, laughs, maybe a little embarrassed. "Sometimes you just have to accept that you can't always control what happens."
Changmin thinks Junsu looks entirely too heart-broken, and that maybe he should follow his own advice.
-
The next three in the morning phone call and Jaejoong is the same as ever as he pulls Changmin to his car with a hand up his shirt. But when he drives reckless and dangerous through the streets to a place only he knows, Changmin doesn't close his eyes.
Changmin watches Jaejoong instead, takes in every part he can see, and when Jaejoong turns to him with a grin, he smiles back before turning away like he always does.
Jaejoong's bad for him, he can feel it. Jaejoong's going to drive him higher and higher and leave him hanging without a second thought when he falls in love, again, with something new, something exciting. But he thinks- he thinks he'll just let it be. Do as Jaejoong says and stop thinking for a while.
Jaejoong blows him a kiss, laughs with the wind whipping his hair around his face.
Maybe for a long while.
nc17 - changmin/jaejoong
1334ws
note: Written for the 2009 Guess Who? FIc Exchange at dbsk_secretgame. Gifted to sunshineyes with the prompt: JaeMin, lose control, just for a little while. WON THIRD PLACE FOR PEOPLE'S CHOICE FAVORITE FIC, WOOHOOOOOOO~ :DDDDDDDDDD
"Let's go driving."
One day, Changmin will learn not to answer the phone at three in the morning because it'll only ever be Jaejoong, and Jaejoong will only ever want to drive him insane.
He stares out the window at buildings blurring past and shifting into dark tall trees as Jaejoong drives like he doesn't know what he's doing.
(He doesn't, not legally. He learned to drive the day after Changmin got his license, driving around in circles in the parking lot of the high school and laughing like freedom.)
"You know, I know what you're thinking."
Jaejoong looks away from the road to grin at Changmin. Changmin reaches out and slaps his cheek lightly with the tips of his fingers. "Keep your eyes on the road, Kim. And it doesn't matter if you know what I'm thinking because obviously you're not listening.
Jaejoong just laughs and spins them around a corner and Changmin feels his stomach roll up, roll down. "Just admit it, you want to touch me. You can't keep your hands off of me."
"That's funny, I seem to be doing just that right now." Changmin looks away and back at the world outside of his car. He thinks he might throw up at the way they're flying past stoplights on red and stop signs, but he can't look away because Jaejoong isn't looking away, and damned if he'll let Jaejoong beat him.
It's a love thing.
Everything has blurred into one long line of colors and fast forward before Jaejoong screeches to a stop in the parking lot of the high school. At the corner by the fire extinguisher, you can still see the marks of Jaejoong's first driving lesson.
"Wanna make out?"
Changmin shakes his head, a hand pressed against his stomach to hold in dinner, breathes in and out through his nose and thinks he should be used to the ride by now. "No thanks. Yoochun will know and I'd really like to not have him come after me."
Jaejoong laughs and crawls over the middle anyway to attach himself to Changmin's side, fingers in his hair and his eyes too close. "He's a big baby, you know he won't do anything. Maybe he'll cry at you."
Changmin thinks about pushing him away but ends up pulling him closer. "That's what I'm afraid of. Yoochun crying will make me feel guilty for the rest of my life."
"I love you, you know," Jaejoong tells him, hands on his cheeks. His eyes catch the light of the streetlamp.
"I know."
Jaejoong shines like diamonds, Changmin thinks. Jaejoong shines like he's the sun itself, and it's more frightening then if he were dull and plastic. Things that shine are things that burn, Changmin's learned. Jaejoong burns as if he needs to melt you and spread you over his skin, cover himself for a little while by pretending to be you. Jaejoong does it without thought; he loses himself in being you and when he's back to being Jaejoong with the shapeshifter bones, you're lost and craving more that he can't give.
It's not a hateful thing, Jaejoong's anything but hateful. Jaejoong is love that burns because it's love without boundaries. That's why he's with Changmin at three in the morning, not with his boyfriend, and that's why tomorrow it'll be Yunho who takes everything in stride with a smile and a shrug, and the next day maybe Junsu, if Junsu is up to letting his heart be broken for whatever leftover traces of Yoochun he can taste.
(Junsu confessed to Jaejoong on a cold Sunday morning, walking Changmin home from a sleepover filled with too many beer bottles.
"I'm in love with Yoochun."
Jaejoong had only laughed. "I don't blame you. He's made for falling in love with. But don't tell him, he'll cry trying to decide which one of us he has to choose."
And Junsu hadn't.)
"You're not thinking about me," Jaejoong murmurs into Changmin's ear. "Actually, I'd like for you to not think at all. Turn that switch off, Changminah." He taps his fingers against Changmin's temple and kisses his neck. "Ride me in the backseat." He grins and starts to tug on Changmin's pajama shirt. "Yoochun won't ever have sex with me in the car."
Every time Jaejoong mentions Yoochun is another wish Changmin makes that he'd never answered his phone. But what Jaejoong wants, Jaejoong gets, because Jaejoong has love in his heart and bright red lips and lean hard muscles and a big dick.
He wiggles the condom packet at Changmin, on his back in the backseat with his pants undone and pushed down his hips. "Want it?"
Changmin snorts as he loosens the draw tie of his pajama bottoms and pushes them around his knees, climbs onto Jaejoong's lap. "Even if I wanted it, would you use it?"
He pushes his boxers down and starts on Jaejoong's when he's stopped by Jaejoong's hand. He looks up and Jaejoong is looking down at him with his lip caught between his teeth. It's an act that comes automatically, even when he doesn't need it. "If you wanted it, Changminah, I'd-"
"Just shut up and fuck me, would you?" Changmin pulls the lube from Jaejoong's pants pocket, has his fingers covered and pushing into himself before he goes on. "You're a slut, but at least you're a somewhat selective slut."
Jaejoong isn't in a rush today, treats him to slow kisses and unhurried sighs. Changmin likes fucks with Jaejoong that feel like this, that let him slowly come apart and lose control. It makes it just a little easier to pretend that Jaejoong loves him best, out of all the three in the morning phone calls he makes.
Jaejoong kisses him afterwards, kisses him through the shudders and holds him to his chest and taps his fingers on Changmin's back in time with his heartbeat. Jaejoong lets him stay until the sun starts to rise.
"Come on, you've got school."
Changmin pulls on his boxers and pants and laughs. "You're so responsible, Kim, so responsible."
The ride home is silent, but just as dangerous and careless as the ride out, and Changmin holds onto the edge of his seat and hopes his body won't fly too far out of the car if they crash.
Jaejoong sings.
-
At school, Junsu looks over the dark marks at Changmin's neck and smiles, just a little sad. "Caught you, huh?"
Changmin smiles back and shrugs. "Like he always does." He pokes at the food on his tray.
"I think- the thing with-" Junsu stops, frowns a little as he tries to figure out in his head how to express all the contradictions Jaejoong embodies. "Jae is everything and nothing, I think. Best way to survive him is to just- let it happen."
Changmin looks up from his food, wondering. Junsu shrugs again, laughs, maybe a little embarrassed. "Sometimes you just have to accept that you can't always control what happens."
Changmin thinks Junsu looks entirely too heart-broken, and that maybe he should follow his own advice.
-
The next three in the morning phone call and Jaejoong is the same as ever as he pulls Changmin to his car with a hand up his shirt. But when he drives reckless and dangerous through the streets to a place only he knows, Changmin doesn't close his eyes.
Changmin watches Jaejoong instead, takes in every part he can see, and when Jaejoong turns to him with a grin, he smiles back before turning away like he always does.
Jaejoong's bad for him, he can feel it. Jaejoong's going to drive him higher and higher and leave him hanging without a second thought when he falls in love, again, with something new, something exciting. But he thinks- he thinks he'll just let it be. Do as Jaejoong says and stop thinking for a while.
Jaejoong blows him a kiss, laughs with the wind whipping his hair around his face.
Maybe for a long while.