Title: 1분 1초 (or 61 heartbeats)
Author: MikkyBoom
Rating: mostly PG, a little R
Pairing: Kangin/Hankyung :DDD <3
Warnings(?): Nothing really.
Note: Like, IDEK. XD First of, dedicated to
heythere_hannah because I felt so bad about making her so sad with my SiHan (which has yet to be posted). So I'm hoping she loves this. :D *fingers crossed*
"I wonder what you could do in one minute and one second..."
Kangin muses at the kitchen table, chin resting on his propped up hand, eyes flashing with mischief and a newly-forming plan.
Hankyung at the sink pauses, a half cleaned plate in one hand, a sponge in the other. His eyes are wide and unblinking and Kangin thinks that Hankyung really does look like someone caught in bright headlights. One of Kangin's joys, kept quietly to himself, is seeing how many times and how many different ways he can make Hankyung pause like that. It's a rush, wondering what the older man is thinking, what flashes through his mind in complicated brush strokes and music beats.
"A minute and a second?" Hankyung blinks, raises thin shoulders in a shrug. "Not much."
Kangin disagrees. "I think you could do a lot."
Hankyung continues washing, but he gives Kangin a smile that's sweet and clueless and just a little patronizing. "If you say so."
Kangin knows that Hankyung agrees with everything because they live with Heenim and in living with Heenim, you learn that there are only three phrases you need to know in order to survive: "okay, go ahead", "of course they're wrong", and "if you say so." He hates it sometimes, wishes the quiet Chinese man would speak out. But today, he won't say a word and will only be happy with the flaw in Hankyung's character because he's just given Kangin the go-ahead to put his plan into motion.
The next day, Kangin starts his list on a plain sheet of paper titled "1분 1초".
The day after, Kangin lists his first entry. "-can make hankyung laugh." He thinks of only minutes before, telling a simple joke about a priest, a porn star, and a housewife that had made Yesung frown slightly, but had made Hankyung laugh while he started dinner.
The next entry is "-can make hankyung laugh for real." In the quiet of the dorm while Kangin and Hankyung and Donghae and Shindong monitored one of their performances, Kangin had turned to Hankyung. "You danced really well, hyung" and Hankyung's face brightens and he laughs in embarrassed pleasure as Donghae and Shindong compliment him too.
Kangin's hand shakes a little as the third entry. "-can make hankyung mad." He's never seen Hankyung truly mad until just then, while Kangin and Eunhyuk had been yelling at each other, a fight started from misunderstandings, and Kangin had started to clench his fists when Hankyung had suddenly yelled, something harsh and loud in Chinese, then a simple tight "stop it" in Korean. The silence of the room had followed Hankyung as he walked out, and Eunhyuk and Kangin had nodded sheepishly at each other and Kangin had walked away with his head down.
Kangin gathers the courage the approach Hankyung the next day, as Hankyung stands in the kitchen and reorganizes the panty. He does it when he's irritated, needing space and time until he gathers the patience to forgive yet again. If you open the pantry door and see that the boxes and cans are grouped by color or by size and color of the label, you close the door and walk away, careful not to touch anything, no matter how hungry you are.
"Hyung..." Kangin slides slowly towards Hankyung, whose shoulder are stiff, and just as slowly slides his arms around Hankyung's waist and gets ready to pout. He makes his voice small and timid (which isn't at all hard to do because hankyung's body feels like a block of steel wrapped in warm velvet and the way he doesn't move at all terrifies kangin a little) and lays his cheek against Hankyung's back. "I'm really sorry I fought with Eunhyukkie..."
For seconds there's silence, then Hankyung sighs and his hands cover Kangin's. "I don’t like to see you fighting."
Kangin smiles and leans over to see Hankyung's face. "I promise to do better, hyung."
Hankyung stares at him before his lips stretch into their usual smile and later, Kangin scribbles his next entry. "-can make hankyung forgive me."
Kangin writes his fifth entry with a small sigh and a heavy heart. "-can make hankyung homesick." He hadn't meant to, of course, but he'd been absently flipping through channel and called Hankyung over when he'd landed on their only Chinese channel and had asked him to translate something a woman was yelling because it sounded like cussing, and Kangin could never miss a chance to learn new cuss words in a different language. Hankyung had done it with a smile and a roll of his eyes, but the more they watched (a show about a student and his dog and their mom's restaurant?) the quieter Hankyung's translations had gotten and the more his shoulders had dropped. He'd finally risen, and Kangin had only just realized what he'd done as Hankyung had excused himself to the bathroom. Kangin hadn't finished the show, but changed the channels and stared at the bright television light and yelled at himself.
Kangin is determined to cheer Hankyung up, and the next morning, as Hankyung leaves for the hair salon with his eyes bloodshot, he calls Sungmin over (because sungmin is cool in the way that he knows everything that you would never except him to know) and the two of them peer at a box of cake mix and wonder if they had to measure out exactly two and a half cups of water, or if they could just wing it. When they decide it's better to follow the instructions, they can't find the measuring cups and they end up calling Ryeowook over to help them look and Ryeowook shakes his head at them when he arrives. "You really don't know where the measuring cups are? I don't even live here and I know." He reaches up to the cabinet right above their heads and pulls them out. When he sees Kangin and Sungmin's embarrassed faces, he hurries to cheer them up. "But it's okay, it's a big kitchen, anyone could've not been able to find them."
Ryeowook stays over to help Kangin and Sungmin with the cake (actually, he does it all), and halfway through there's a flour fight and Hankyung comes home to an almost white kitchen and a very white Kangin and Sungmin and an exasperated but too-polite-to-show-it Ryeowook and a lopsided chocolate cake with pink frosting (sungmin's contribution) and icing that says "love you hankyung hyung! ^^" in perfect blue letters (ryeowook's final touch under kangin's careful eye). Hankyung eyes everything with his mouth slightly open but when he sees Kangin grinning as he holds out the cake to him, he hugs Kangin, flour and all.
After being banished from the kitchen for his next three lifetimes (at the very least) by a smiling Hankyung, Kangin dries to dry his newly washed hair and write at the same time. "-can make hankyung forgive me." He's not counting the time it took to actually make the cake, only from the moment Hankyung first saw the cake.
Kangin's hand trembles as he writes, trying to hold in hyper, nervous laughter with his free hand. "-can make hankyung confused." He sits on his bed and runs his hands through his hair. His heart beats in double time (like don't don in fast forward) as he remembers leaning in close to Hankyung as they rode home from a television show and putting his hand high on Hankyung's thigh and grinning at him and brushing his other hand across Hankyung's cheek.
Kangin lies back in his bed and his grin gets wider and wider as he remembers the way Hankyung had frozen and taken in a gasp of air and his eyes had shifted like mercury before Kangin had moved away and acted like nothing had happened. Kangin falls asleep thinking about Hankyung's cheeks and wondering what new prank he could play on Kyuhyun that would make Teukkie-hyung pray for sudden salvation from the psychopaths he'd been forced to baby-sit (an exact quote from only a week ago).
Hankyung can't meet Kangin's eyes for the next few days. At first it's funny, cute, and Kangin gets in his way continuously just to see Hankyung blink and stutter out anything that comes to mind as he tries to hide. Later, Kangin frowns because Hankyung hides more and more and sometimes he even catches Hankyung watching him with the most annoyingly unreadable look in the world.
When Kangin catches himself in bed with his hand around himself and Hankyung's legs in his mind, he realizes something has to be done because he's tired of falling asleep alone.
The next morning, Kangin corners Hankyung in the bathroom as the older man washes his face and brushes his teeth. Hankyung looks almost terrified as he sees Kangin closing the door behind himself. "Hyung?" Kangin crosses his arms and leans against the door and though on the outside he's Kangin the Destroyer of Any and All Serious Events, inside he's Kangin the Ridiculously Scared Shitless, and he smiles.
"Yes?" Hankyung holds a towel against his neck, and it almost seems like he's hiding his bare arms and bare chest behind it. Kangin doesn't like that at all; he's not a monster come to eat him alive.
Kangin thinks of all the nights he's falls asleep with Hankyung's name on his lips, and it seems like his courage is suddenly endless. He pushes himself away from the door and catches Hankyung's wrist. He pulls Hankyung against him and he kisses him as softly as he knows how.
When he pulls away, Hankyung doesn't blink, but stares at him and whispers "oh."
Kangin grins and leaves the bathroom without a glance back. "-can make hankyung understand" he writes before leaving for his radio show.
When he comes home, Heenim and Hankyung are watching a movie in the darkened dorm. Heechul yells at him without even looking back as he turns on the light by accident ("yah, trying to watch a movie here. hurry up and bring me a beer"). Kangin rolls his eyes and he really really really wants to argue back, but he notices that Hankyung hasn't said a word, not even a "hi, how was your day?" and he frowns as he grabs Heechul his beer.
Something that he knows is raging jealousy flares in his chest when he sees that Heechul has his head in Hankyung's lap and Hankyung is pulling strands of Heechul's hair through his fingers. He remembers this morning in the bathroom as he thrusts the beer in Heechul's face. He's ready to yell, he's ready to be a nuisance and ruin the movie for them, but Hankyung finally looks up at him and all the words dies in Kangin's chest.
It's not a new expression, the look on Hankyung's face, all innocent question and slight confusion, but his eyes are dancing in the light of the television screen and his lips are parted and he mouths "kangin?" and Kangin is breathless. The question in Hankyung's eyes never fades and Kangin isn't even sure what question it is, but he nods, and Hankyung smiles.
Kangin finally realizes that Heechul's been yelling at him to move, and he grins and ruffles Heechul's hair and in his room, he write the first entry that doesn't say what he can do to Hankyung, but what Hankyung can do to him.
"-can make me go through more mood swings than i've ever been through and still make me happy."
Kangin isn't sure of the wording, is on the verge of scribbling it out when his door opens and Hankyung comes in and leans against the closed door.
"Is this-"
"Yeah." Kangin cuts him off and he doesn't remember moving but he has Hankyung in his arms and he didn't notice before that Hankyung's lips are softer than they look.
Hankyung kisses him with his eyes closed, his hands on Kangin's shoulders, his mouth moving slow and steady and sure. Kangin wants to go faster, wants the kiss to match the pounding of his pulse, but Hankyung has a hidden strength and no matter how much Kangin moans into his mouth, Hankyung keeps the kiss exactly as he wants.
Kangin thinks that maybe he'll die of impatience and bliss. Hankyung's tongue is slick against his, warm, and he tastes like beer and something too salty (dried squid?). His hands move from Kangin's shoulders to his waist and Kangin's stomach jumps when Hankyung bites down softly on his tongue, Kangin doesn't mind dying there with Hankyung.
In his mind, there's another entry to his list. "-hankyung can make me do anything he wants me to do."
When Hankyung pulls away, the need to breath bright in Kangin's chest, he looks just too perfect with his face flushed and his lips red and swollen that Kangin can't keep his hands off of him.
In bed, Kangin doesn't know where he ends and Hankyung begins. Hankyung's skin burns against his, his voice sears Kangin's mind.
"Oh, oh-" he breathes into Kangin's mouth and arches his back upwards. Kangin spreads his fingers against Hankyung's sharp ribs and swallows his pants like air.
Hankyung's legs around his waist are tight and possessive and Kangin wonders again and again how hot Hankyung's body can get and how deep he can go because it seems like Hankyung will burn the both of them to ashes and Kangin will end up beneath his skin.
It's when Hankyung sighs his name into his ear that Kangin knows he's lost, and Hankyung holds him close as they both shake and shudder and clench each others hands.
"I hate sleeping alone." Kangin has enough air in his lungs to speak against Hankyung's hair. Hankyung copies Kangin from earlier and spreads his fingers as wide as he can on Kangin's chest.
"Me too." He presses his lips to Kangin's collarbone.
Kangin's eyes drift close and he calls asleep listening to the way Hankyung’s heart beats just a little slower than his.
Kangin remembers a few days later that he had a list. He remembers as he sits at the kitchen table and watches Hankyung do the dishes and hum something stilted and slightly off-key under his breath. As he remembers, he smiles and he doesn't care that Eunhyuk's asking him a question and Kibum is dangerously eyeing his still half-full plate of lunch.
"You know hyung, you were right."
Hankyung looks over his shoulder at him. "About what?"
Kangin moves his plate away from Kibum, even though he knows he's not going to finish eating. "There's a lot you can't do in a minute and a second."
Hankyung frowns, and the confusion starts on his face before it disappears without a trace. He smiles. "I told you so." He goes back to the dishes, and his humming gets a little louder and a little more off-key.
Kangin finds his list and he looks over it and laughs. He scribbles something quickly and folds the paper and sticks it inside a book he never reads but keeps because Siwon gave it to him last Christmas. He runs his fingers across the spine of the book and leaves his room with a smile, plans of stealing kisses from Hankyung in the kitchen and bothering Yesung until he yells running through his mind.
"-not enough time to get enough of hankyung, not even close... maybe in an eternity and a year, maybe."