[fic] Mindreader.
Mindreader.
nc17 - kanghan
summary: And Kangin shatters and mumbles out something, anything, because more than the fact that he thinks he's hearing things, he finds that the implications of Hankyung's not-said-words don't freak him out in the way that they're supposed to.
dedicated to heythere_hannah. i hope this cheers you up and you have new energy to finish all your work! :D
"What did you just say?"
Hankyung smiles and shakes his head slightly. "I said I liked your shirt. I like stars." He reaches out and traces one of the silver stars on the sleeve of Kangin's black shirt, and Kangin stares at him, wondering if he's going crazy or if Hankyung's trying to freak him out, because what he swears he heard is "I want to be underneath you."
"Kangin, are you okay?" Hankyung frowns just slightly, and his hand comes to rest on Kangin's forehead. "You don't feel hot."
And Kangin shatters and mumbles out something, anything, because more than the fact that he thinks he's hearing things, he finds that the implications of Hankyung's not-said-words don't freak him out in the way that they're supposed to.
---
"I think I'm going crazy. This is it, the final straw. The stress has won."
Kangin buries his head into one of the cushions of the couch is Leeteuk is all concerned frowns and back-pats beside him. "What happened?"
Kangin peeks up at him, and he wonders if he should tell. But Leeteuk's eyes are wide and helpful and he looks a little like a lost puppy with stress lines at the corners of his mouth and Kangin can't bear to tell him that he's hearing things. So he shakes his head and sighs and hides his face again. "I'm just really tired."
---
"I dream about you every night."
Kangin chokes on his rice and Shindong claps him on the back and Heechul starts to chuckle. "Idiot caveman can't even chew food right."
Any other day and Kangin would've been all over that insult, but today he stares at Hankyung who's slightly leaning over the table, concern in his eyes and in his hands as he pushes Kangin's water glass closer to him.
"Did you- did you just say something, hyung?"
Hankyung frowns. "Me?" He shakes his head and sits back down. "No, I didn't say anything, I don't think? Are you sure you're okay, Kangin-ah?"
Kangin is sure that his eyes are going to fall out of his sockets.
---
"I'm hearing things."
Yesung looks up from the book he's reading, and he pushes his glasses up. "What?"
Kangin closes the bedroom door behind him and leans against the wood and he's sure he looks crazy, breathing hard and eyes wide and hands waving in the air.
"I'm hearing things. But not just anything, certain things, and only from Hankyung hyung. This is it, right? I'm going crazy; I've finally gone over that mountain." Kangin pushes away from the door and paces back and forth and tries to take deep breaths.
"You're not making any sense, you know. Hearing things from Hankyung?" Yesung sets his book down and there's a smile on his lips that Kangin wants to knock off because this is not funny.
"That's what I said! Like I'm reading his mind or something, but he's thinking... well, he's thinking things I'm sure I'm not supposed to hear!" Kangin throws his hands in the air, and he can feel his face turn red.
"I want to get you naked" is what he heard only minutes before, as Hankyung had passed him on the way to the bathroom and smiled at him. Kangin doesn't think he' going to make it out of the week alive, because he's HEARING THINGS FROM HANKYUNG'S MIND and there's something very wrong about the way that HE DOESN'T SEEM TO MIND WHAT HE'S HEARING.
Kangin hasn't been able to sleep the last few days, staring up at the ceiling and picturing the most unusual things about Hankyung, like the way he bites his bottom lip when he's embarrassed or the way he shifts weight from foot to foot to the rhythm of "Don't Don" when he needs to use the bathroom or the way the corners of his eyes wrinkle up when he smiles.
"I'm going crazy." Kangin stops pacing and says it with a kind of finality. "I am absolutely insane."
Yesung smiles like Leeteuk smiles, sweet and clueless, and nods and goes back to his book. "Of course you are. But you know, you're-"
Kangin doesn't stay to hear the rest of whatever Yesung is saying because Yesung never says anything worth listening to and he has a crisis going on.
---
Kangin isn't avoiding Hankyung.
Really, he isn't. He's only... staying in his room because he's tired. And he doesn't eat in the kitchen because he's crowded. And he doesn't watch TV because he's already seen everything.
The excuses sound bad even to him, and he yells into his pillow.
---
Three days later and there's a knock at his door and Kangin looks down from the ceiling and Hankyung is walking in with a tray of food and a hesitant smile.
"I thought- you'd be hungry? The others think you're sick and refuse to bring you food because they don't want to get whatever it is that you've got." He sits on the edge of Kangin's bed and balances the tray on his lap.
Kangin tries to restart his lungs. "And you do?"
Hankyung just laughs and leans over to feel Kangin's forehead. "I don't think you're sick, I think you're sulking about something. I want to be in your bed with you."
Kangin's mind screeches to a halt and he jerks away from Hankyung, which makes the tray on his lap shake and tremble and Hankyung grabs at it. He gives Kangin a look that's full of surprise and worry. "Kangin, are you-"
Days of staring at his ceiling and picturing Hankyung in his mind and trying very hard not to jerk off to Hankyung's voice in his head all seem to crash into him at once, and Kangin is sure he looks like a monster as he lunges for Hankyung, knocking the tray off his lap, and Hankyung is pressed down to the bed and his eyes are huge. For moments, Kangin can only stare down at the face that's been driving him crazy, but then something shifts in Hankyung's eyes are his body turns soft and yielding and he's whispering "oh~" into the air.
Kangin wants to shake him. "You're driving me crazy."
Hankyung blinks. "Did you hear-"
"Everything."
There's seconds of silence, then Hankyung smiles. "I was hoping you would. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't." His smile makes the same shift that his eyes have made, and heat crawls itself up Kangin's legs.
There are a thousand questions Kangin can think of to ask, but he thinks about everything Hankyung's thought at him, and he doesn't ask anything at all, but crushes his mouth to Hankyung's and swallows his gasps.
---
"H-hyung..."
Kangin would laugh at every fantasy he's ever had of Hankyung if his hands weren't clenched into Hankyung's hair and Hankyung was looking up at him and still smiling with his mouth around Kangin's cock. Kangin thinks it's slightly scary, that everything he's ever imagined doesn't even come close to reality, Hankyung's tongue running up while his mouth moves down.
"God." Kangin's sentences seem to get shorter and shorter and his eyes want to roll back, but Hankyung laughs, and Kangin's eyes fly open and he makes a choked sound that could be a scream and he's right there and Hankyung moves away.
Kangin watches Hankyung stand up with blinking eyes and sudden frustration in his chest. "What the fuck-" and Hankyung pulls his shirt off and steps out of his jeans and he's completely nude and Kangin loses his voice yet again. He's seen Hankyung naked before, sure, but there's something entirely different about seeing him naked when his mouth is red and shining with- and his legs really do go on forever and he's grinning as he runs a hand over his stomach and brushes his fingers against his cock.
Hankyung turns to the bed and crawls on his hands and knees and looks back over his shoulder at Kangin and his cheeks are flushed even though his voice is steady. "Fuck me."
---
Kangin's gone to heaven.
---
Or he's been really bad and this is really hell and everything's going to disappear before he gets to do anything.
---
Hankyung's back is smooth as Kangin runs his hands across his skin, but there are tiny scars at his left hip that Kangin wants to kiss, so he does.
Hankyung lets out a tiny hiss and presses back against Kangin. "Now, Kangin."
Kangin is too amazed to do anything but obey, and he's sinking in and Hankyung is making the best noises ever, keening and needy, panting little noises that sound like Kangin's name.
Hankyung presses back with each thrust forward and Kangin is sure that he's hurting him because he's tight (ohmygodwhy'shesotight), but Hankyung only moans and hangs his head and he reached back with a hand to sink his fingers into the muscle of Kangin's thigh and pull him closer.
From then on, Kangin doesn't worry about anything at all, he concentrates on making Hankyung call his name. He slows when Hankyung urges him faster, sinks in deep and listens to the sound of flesh hitting flesh.
"Kangin, Kangin-"
It's not a yell but it's just as good, soft and breathless and Kangin grabs Hankyung's shoulder and pulls him up and Hankyung's bends impossibly back and he presses his lips to Kangin's throat and Kangin grabs his cock and Hankyung comes with a rush of words in Chinese and a hand pressed to the back of Kangin's neck.
His body tightens around Kangin and Kangin closes his eyes and shudders as he comes.
---
"Why can't I hear you all time?" Kangin looks down at Hankyung, frowning.
Hankyung lifts his head from Kangin's stomach and shrugs. "I have to concentrate to make you hear. It's hard to concentrate when you're having sex." He lays his head back down and runs his hand over Kangin's thigh.
"Oh." Kangin nods, and it's funny how normal it seems now, but he's tired of questioning, so he yawns and closes his eyes and traces the line of Hankyung's jaw over and over until he falls asleep.
---
Kangin meets Zhoumi a few days after.
"Nice to meet you," he says in his bright accented voice, and he never stops smiling. "I'd love to fuck you."
When Kangin runs into Yesung's room, eyes wide and gesturing, Yesung only shrugs. "I tried telling you before, you're not the only one who hears him. It's a Chinese thing, apparently."