[fic] out of breath, asthmatic.
out of breath, asthmatic.
pg13 - sihan
summary: he's the bad guy in this story and he knows it, hates it, but he can't stop because it makes him whole. [request from heythere_hannah]
i fucking hate you. Hankyung watches Heechul slam out of their apartment. This time, the hundredth time this month, he's surprisingly not heartbroken. He's dried-eyed and calm and if Heechul never comes back, he thinks he just might be alright.
He moves through his apartment quietly, touches Heechul's belongings thrown around the room. If he were still super junior, Leeteuk would run out a room right about now and try to fix things with his pretty busybody hands. But he's not super junior anymore, no one's super junior anymore, and there really isn't anything to fix.
The plastic of the phone is too cold in his hands. Heechul likes the apartment cool. Hankyung turns on the heater as he dials. siwon? come over.
He's horrible because he only calls Siwon when Heechul's stormed off again. He can't bear to see Siwon at any other time because he knows that he should be in China with Siwon, not in Korea with Heechul and Siwon on the other side of the city.
The doorbell rings and Hankyung attaches himself to Siwon as soon as the younger man walks through the doorway because he's so tired of living a life he doesn't want to live and he wants to forget.
Siwon's hands are warm on his body and Hankyung is pleased when they fall to the living room floor in a tangle of bare skin because then maybe Heechul might walk in on them and everything would work out the way it was supposed to.
(in the back of his mind, he knows nothing will fix anything.)
So he loses his mind into Siwon’s mouth and Siwon's fingers on his hips and Siwon's collarbone and doesn't think of the way he's going to kick Siwon out when they're done.
let me stay. Siwon’s voice rings in his ear in a whisper. or come with me.
Hankyung looks up and past Siwon's pleading face and at the pictures of him and Heechul at the amusement park on the wall behind them. i can't. Because he's already given his life over to Heechul and it doesn't matter that he's supposed to be with Siwon because no matter how much he hates Heechul for being perfect and being him, he can't leave him.
Siwon leaves without looking at him again. i'm not coming back. The door closes on his words.
Hankyung straightens the living room and starts dinner and an apology to Heechul. He's not worried about Heechul forgiving him because he knows that Heechul is scared and lonely and doesn't quite know what to do with himself now that he's not super junior anymore and will hold onto Hankyung for strength no matter what happens.
And he's not afraid of Siwon not coming back because Siwon is scared and lonely too, and Hankyung loves him too much to let him leave.
The door opens and Heechul walks in with a glare on his lips and forgiveness in his eyes. Hankyung smiles.
note: request filler for hannah. i'm sorry that the kry died and i'm sorry that this is so short, but- you love me anyways? :D
pg13 - sihan
summary: he's the bad guy in this story and he knows it, hates it, but he can't stop because it makes him whole. [request from heythere_hannah]
i fucking hate you. Hankyung watches Heechul slam out of their apartment. This time, the hundredth time this month, he's surprisingly not heartbroken. He's dried-eyed and calm and if Heechul never comes back, he thinks he just might be alright.
He moves through his apartment quietly, touches Heechul's belongings thrown around the room. If he were still super junior, Leeteuk would run out a room right about now and try to fix things with his pretty busybody hands. But he's not super junior anymore, no one's super junior anymore, and there really isn't anything to fix.
The plastic of the phone is too cold in his hands. Heechul likes the apartment cool. Hankyung turns on the heater as he dials. siwon? come over.
He's horrible because he only calls Siwon when Heechul's stormed off again. He can't bear to see Siwon at any other time because he knows that he should be in China with Siwon, not in Korea with Heechul and Siwon on the other side of the city.
The doorbell rings and Hankyung attaches himself to Siwon as soon as the younger man walks through the doorway because he's so tired of living a life he doesn't want to live and he wants to forget.
Siwon's hands are warm on his body and Hankyung is pleased when they fall to the living room floor in a tangle of bare skin because then maybe Heechul might walk in on them and everything would work out the way it was supposed to.
(in the back of his mind, he knows nothing will fix anything.)
So he loses his mind into Siwon’s mouth and Siwon's fingers on his hips and Siwon's collarbone and doesn't think of the way he's going to kick Siwon out when they're done.
let me stay. Siwon’s voice rings in his ear in a whisper. or come with me.
Hankyung looks up and past Siwon's pleading face and at the pictures of him and Heechul at the amusement park on the wall behind them. i can't. Because he's already given his life over to Heechul and it doesn't matter that he's supposed to be with Siwon because no matter how much he hates Heechul for being perfect and being him, he can't leave him.
Siwon leaves without looking at him again. i'm not coming back. The door closes on his words.
Hankyung straightens the living room and starts dinner and an apology to Heechul. He's not worried about Heechul forgiving him because he knows that Heechul is scared and lonely and doesn't quite know what to do with himself now that he's not super junior anymore and will hold onto Hankyung for strength no matter what happens.
And he's not afraid of Siwon not coming back because Siwon is scared and lonely too, and Hankyung loves him too much to let him leave.
The door opens and Heechul walks in with a glare on his lips and forgiveness in his eyes. Hankyung smiles.
note: request filler for hannah. i'm sorry that the kry died and i'm sorry that this is so short, but- you love me anyways? :D