The Sweding of Twilight
So last night my friends and I had a little Twilight party and while we love watching Robert Pattinson glide around on our TV screens, we can't help but think of how we'd Swede some of the scenes, if given the chance...
1) Glittering Edward: We are not impressed with the art project that seems to be Edward sparkling in the sun. So we imagined the scene where someone would be on a ladder overtop of "Edward" with a collander of glitter raining it down upon him. Of course, the collander's bottom would be visible with the camera angle. My friend Ashley would offer some sound effects making a soft "weooo weooo" sound to go along with the glitter's appearance. Also in this scene, we would either cut out the line "You're like a drug to me" or make the whole thing even more dramatic... go over to the Dramatic Reading of a Breakup Letter on Youtube. You'll get the gist.
2) The Meadow Scene: We'd actually DO the scene. Sheesh. It's not a swede like move, but we feel it is important.
3) The Billy/Edward stare: This scene would be drawn out-- probably to the point of Billy and Edward's eyes almost popping out of their head.
4) The Ballet Studio: Bella's time to shine... she'll end up looking like she's got turrets because well... we had a running commentary on Kristen Stewart's acting being very jerky and... well... yeah. Of course whoever plays Edward will stop sucking Bella's blood on his own... Carlisle being very busy making sure Bella doesn't bleed to death from her leg's laceration.
5) Edward Playing Piano: When we heard that Robert Pattinson played the piano on camera for TWO HOURS, trying to bring out Bella's lullaby, we decided there would be a section of at least five minutes where our Edward would play around on the piano...
6) Port Angeles: Full length. That's all I'm saying.
I realize my Swede would probably be longer than any Swede Jack Black's character would direct in Be Kind Rewind, but well... Sweded films don't have critics, now do they?
If you are confused, then you should probably watch Be Kind Rewind or at least head over to Wikipedia and see what it's all about.
If you have Sweding ideas of your own... feel free to comment...