Late-night thoughts
The last few days have been so odd. I'm not sure how to describe them, really. I'd say "busy," but that doesn't quite cover it.
I've been home from work for a while now, but I can't sleep. Don't even know why I'm doing this... trying to be quiet so as not to wake anybody up, but I guess I just felt like writing.
[Private]
What the hell is wrong with me lately? I've been doing things I never used to do. Talked to Flowright, for one. I still can't believe I did that. I actually told him about Ansem. I mean, it's not like he hadn't already seen things, but... he didn't get scared. He didn't get mad at me or try to lock me up. He didn't even get involved, just stayed there and let me fight it out on my own. Nobody's ever done that before. Except maybe Mickey... but that wasn't really the same.
And now there's the thing with Shaoran. How the hell did I get suckered into letting somebody stay with us? He doesn't know my "parents" aren't real, true, but if this keeps up he's gonna have to find out sooner or later. What is wrong with me? It's not like it's my problem. If he doesn't have a place to go, he should've planned better before he got here. It's not like I had anyone watching out for me when I wound up here anyway, and I'm sure he's got more people to turn to than I did. ...For some reason, though, it doesn't seem like it. I wonder why that is? That weird moment today, for example. It was almost like he... well, I shouldn't think about it too much.
It's not like I could just let him stay on the streets, right? He'd be in a fucking alley right now if I hadn't said something. Maybe he doesn't think that's a big deal, but I do. It would be really messed up for me to let him do that. Really messed up.
I keep telling myself that everything needs to be a secret, that the most important thing is not to get caught, but maybe Sora was more right than I thought. Maybe some people here can be trusted.
Still.
[/Private]
I can't shake the feeling that something's wrong, but damned if I can figure out what.
((refs: riku opens up to fai, shaoran comes to mj, sora and riku get a temporary live-in cook))
I've been home from work for a while now, but I can't sleep. Don't even know why I'm doing this... trying to be quiet so as not to wake anybody up, but I guess I just felt like writing.
[Private]
What the hell is wrong with me lately? I've been doing things I never used to do. Talked to Flowright, for one. I still can't believe I did that. I actually told him about Ansem. I mean, it's not like he hadn't already seen things, but... he didn't get scared. He didn't get mad at me or try to lock me up. He didn't even get involved, just stayed there and let me fight it out on my own. Nobody's ever done that before. Except maybe Mickey... but that wasn't really the same.
And now there's the thing with Shaoran. How the hell did I get suckered into letting somebody stay with us? He doesn't know my "parents" aren't real, true, but if this keeps up he's gonna have to find out sooner or later. What is wrong with me? It's not like it's my problem. If he doesn't have a place to go, he should've planned better before he got here. It's not like I had anyone watching out for me when I wound up here anyway, and I'm sure he's got more people to turn to than I did. ...For some reason, though, it doesn't seem like it. I wonder why that is? That weird moment today, for example. It was almost like he... well, I shouldn't think about it too much.
It's not like I could just let him stay on the streets, right? He'd be in a fucking alley right now if I hadn't said something. Maybe he doesn't think that's a big deal, but I do. It would be really messed up for me to let him do that. Really messed up.
I keep telling myself that everything needs to be a secret, that the most important thing is not to get caught, but maybe Sora was more right than I thought. Maybe some people here can be trusted.
Still.
[/Private]
I can't shake the feeling that something's wrong, but damned if I can figure out what.
((refs: riku opens up to fai, shaoran comes to mj, sora and riku get a temporary live-in cook))