blackrose dust
hey guys!! remember me?? =)
I have too much bottled inside of me, and I have to let it go.
there are times when it gets so frustrating while i make art ... i'd feel as if i'm not getting better at all or the thing is looking uglier and uglier, and i'd want to rip up the paper or erase the whole thing and start anew. but i've done that so many times in the past, and all i can say is that has led me to a slow demise. that was how i've been feeling the passed month.
tomorrow is the FIT portfolio evaluation, and I'm working on the last project. I still have to write the essay. I can pull an all nighter, but I'm so very tired and i'm emotionally weak right now as this last project is not working well for me. this is my fifth try. I worked vigorously the pass week keeping up with ap art projects and FIT projects hand in hand. I slept late many times with my body feeling like it got beat up. I fell behind tremendously in my web design class because of the fore-mentioned feelings of wanting to start over and a bunch of unlucky circumstances that came my way: a trojan virus downloader infected my computer with 12 viruses... and I got sick from overexerting myself, and also the FIT home test.
My teacher has undoubtedly been disappointed in me for not keeping up the expectations. I told him what has been happening through the class blog, and he hasn't commented back. I could only wonder he is thinking. I never, ever give excuses for such a class that I love so dearly, although right now I have mixed feelings. My mind has been crossed all day about a comment he said to me about my progress in the class.
Generally speaking, I feel as if I'm never happy with what I create. I love doing what I do, but how come I can't like what I actually create? I want to be able to accept the outcomes and move on and get better. at the moment, i'm not sure if i want to cry or just sleep. but i have to stay strong and fight!!
To say the least, I probably think too much.
Anyways, just wanted to get that all out!!
I will definitely make a post this week with all the artsy stuff I've been doing. I'm soon to be free!!
I hope you guys are doing well. I have been fine, but the last two weeks have been terrible. :'(
Wish me luck guys!! Tomorrow is the FIT interview!! I must PASS!
Btw, please tell me how you guys are. Tell me what's been going on so I at least don't feel like a stranger when I look at the f-list again.
I have too much bottled inside of me, and I have to let it go.
there are times when it gets so frustrating while i make art ... i'd feel as if i'm not getting better at all or the thing is looking uglier and uglier, and i'd want to rip up the paper or erase the whole thing and start anew. but i've done that so many times in the past, and all i can say is that has led me to a slow demise. that was how i've been feeling the passed month.
tomorrow is the FIT portfolio evaluation, and I'm working on the last project. I still have to write the essay. I can pull an all nighter, but I'm so very tired and i'm emotionally weak right now as this last project is not working well for me. this is my fifth try. I worked vigorously the pass week keeping up with ap art projects and FIT projects hand in hand. I slept late many times with my body feeling like it got beat up. I fell behind tremendously in my web design class because of the fore-mentioned feelings of wanting to start over and a bunch of unlucky circumstances that came my way: a trojan virus downloader infected my computer with 12 viruses... and I got sick from overexerting myself, and also the FIT home test.
My teacher has undoubtedly been disappointed in me for not keeping up the expectations. I told him what has been happening through the class blog, and he hasn't commented back. I could only wonder he is thinking. I never, ever give excuses for such a class that I love so dearly, although right now I have mixed feelings. My mind has been crossed all day about a comment he said to me about my progress in the class.
Generally speaking, I feel as if I'm never happy with what I create. I love doing what I do, but how come I can't like what I actually create? I want to be able to accept the outcomes and move on and get better. at the moment, i'm not sure if i want to cry or just sleep. but i have to stay strong and fight!!
To say the least, I probably think too much.
Anyways, just wanted to get that all out!!
I will definitely make a post this week with all the artsy stuff I've been doing. I'm soon to be free!!
I hope you guys are doing well. I have been fine, but the last two weeks have been terrible. :'(
Wish me luck guys!! Tomorrow is the FIT interview!! I must PASS!
Btw, please tell me how you guys are. Tell me what's been going on so I at least don't feel like a stranger when I look at the f-list again.