i am tired of whining. so here is some none-whine oriented truth ( Read more... )

i'm doing that really stupid thing again where i feel left out of things that i wouldn't even want to have done. there are reasons for this; it stems from my need to be included, and THAT comes from wanting to be wanted, and not believing i'm cool 'enough', and wanting to spend time with people who i really, really want to like me EVEN WHEN I KNOW ( Read more... )

i feel like the things which are important to me have changed so much in the past five or six years. some of this is perfectly natural, and i accept it; CTY and high school are over, and my life proceeds apace. i am growing up, however unevenly, and that's more than fine with me too. but i feel that in this semester i've regained a lot of cheer and ( Read more... )

everyone wants to know, trust me ( Read more... )

was going to update, but instead i finished my paper.

pretty sure it is terrible.

going to bed now.

yes.

i love, i love

-s

it's late and i should go to bed. i don't really know what's up lately- the sequence of events in the last 30 or so hours has left me confused, but i'm not feeling as incapacitatingly awkward as i was last night, nor as silly or worried or middle school-tastic. or as much like a self-indulgent asshole. i'm just stressed over how much sleep i'm ( Read more... )

i like the way my life is happening right now, though it is not without its flaws. mom is sick. i'm not as functional and efficient at present as i could hope, but more than the bare minimum is still getting done, so that's nice. this weekend was full- there was a journey to chicago to see miss jackie (and to spend some real time with elizabeth and ( Read more... )

this is going to be a fairly comprehensive mental portrait, including things that i consider whiny and have therefore been avoiding talking about here- not that i've updated lately. probably it would be better for me mentally to just stop writing this and call Aviva instead- remind myself of the solidity of home and life. but i feel introspective ( Read more... )

first off, a fucking fantastic link from miss jackie ( Read more... )

writing here makes me instinctively melancholy, it's pretty silly. just at this moment, life is pretty lovely. except i might have a chinese quiz tomorrow that i haven't studied for. i'm going to go look into that, or sleep. it's two hours of class and three and a half hours of work away from the weekend.

i love, i love