when I was on matchdotcom I also found many of the questions and answers limiting. what was nice was that you could put down how much money you earned and then sift through all the potential people, and weed out the filthy rich ones (as I did in my case).
I, fortunately, had the opportunity to really, really, really gradually broke my parents into this. I just wrote you a bunch of details about how I slowley got away with eventually my parents being OK with me sleeping in my room in their house with boys who they like and I like, but then I realized that's probably not your question.
My dad always hated all of my partners and my sister's too, but he likes Brian, and it is inexplicable other than the fact that Brian is awesome. They also met him while I was still at Beloit, a few short times over a whole semester, and I never really told them that he was my partner, I just acted like it. ugh! this is no help to you at all, is it!
at least I can take this moment to be really thankful that my family likes my partner.
"Yeah he's not good enough, but, who would ever be?"
Its the high quality of their love for you that makes them feel that way.
In my father's wisdom, he's knows thats how he feels because he will always want better, nothing no one would ever be "good enough." Its irrational, and hopefully they can come to understand that.
There's probably a lot of different concerns here. Your parents don't want you to be hurt, and being intimate with someone opens you up to that possibility. Also, this is the first time they have concrete evidence that you may actually love someone outside of the family circle, which means that they have to learn to trust him, and they have to adjust their lives for him. You've had time to get to know him - they haven't.
Which doesn't excuse any attempts to belittle you, your choices, or your partner. This is another stage in seperating from your family.
I'm sorry i've been so remiss on commenting here, I am so happy that you have found love.
my parents, whose expectations of sex are nothing but old-fashioned (stereotypes, gendering, and downright unreasonableness included free of charge), like to use the "our roof, our rules" policy: they basically state that while i live with them, i follow their rules, which include things such as no boys in my room with the door closed, no males and females sleeping in the same room, and no sleeping over boys' houses in a romantic situation. it isn't a issue of my body, it is an issue of me living with them
( ... )
Comments 10
(The comment has been removed)
I ask only because this is a wider interest of mine, not just a personal one.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
My dad always hated all of my partners and my sister's too, but he likes Brian, and it is inexplicable other than the fact that Brian is awesome. They also met him while I was still at Beloit, a few short times over a whole semester, and I never really told them that he was my partner, I just acted like it. ugh! this is no help to you at all, is it!
at least I can take this moment to be really thankful that my family likes my partner.
Reply
Bruce said (paraphrased).
"Yeah he's not good enough, but, who would ever be?"
Its the high quality of their love for you that makes them feel that way.
In my father's wisdom, he's knows thats how he feels because he will always want better, nothing no one would ever be "good enough." Its irrational, and hopefully they can come to understand that.
Reply
Which doesn't excuse any attempts to belittle you, your choices, or your partner. This is another stage in seperating from your family.
I'm sorry i've been so remiss on commenting here, I am so happy that you have found love.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment