Window Talks [4/4]
Chapter Four
Jonghyun finally got news of the closet being fixed, as well as the floorboards. He moved back in and started his usual schedule, of two years ago; waiting pathetically for a call. A ring a ding ding of his cellphone was what he wanted most. He was lying down on his bed, checking his phone for any unheard tings.
Two hours went by…
Three…
Tap, tap, tap!
He got up quickly, shoving his head out the window to see the rapping visitor at his window. He smiled, watching Kibum in his robe holding up two suits. Kibum signaled to come over and Jonghyun obeyed… in less than a minute.
. . . . .
“Crisis decided to come today. I hope you don’t mind, hyung.” Kibum was blow drying his hair at this time, fixing the part with the most hair over to his emptied side. Jonghyun watched with pure admiration for the boy, everything about him was just too… and we will not add sarcasm as we speak, charming.
Jonghyun fixed the bowtie on the suits that were laid out. Kibum grinned, looking at his friend through the mirror’s reflection,” Still like suits, I see…”
The older one looked up, nodding while emotionally hugging all of the expensive cloth in his outstretched arms. He pointed to a polka dotted suit,” This is actually really nice, it suits you, Bummie.”
Kibum held the hanger up, placing it against his body,” You think? Really? Like how awesome would I look in this? Awesome or ‘I’d-love-to-date-you-if-you-weren’t-dating-Nicole?”
Jonghyun shrugged, it didn’t matter what Kibum wore, he was always falling for him anyways,” Number two, definitely.”
. . . . .
He ended up going back home an hour later. Kibum had a dinner recital for Nicole’s sister’s wedding. It’s been about five hours now, sitting alone, without Kibum.
He put his back to the wall, occasionally glancing out his window to see if he was there or not. He probably let out a thousand sighs before looking back one last time; nothing.
He took his blue iPod out of his sweats and swirl his thumb around the pearly white orb, stopping at his favorite song and plugging in his earphones. He lied down on his bed and went under the soft blankets, inhaling the fresh scent as he soothed himself to sleep.
. . . . .
“… Hyung, please don’t ignore me, I need your help! Why don’t you ever pick up the talkie?!” the voice was mellow with a hint of sadness. Jonghyun automatically shot up, taking the black device in his hands. He cleared his throat, trying to sound husky,” Yeah? What is it now, Kibum?”
“It’s… well, I need to learn how to play baseball… and I know you took lessons, so like, do you mind… you know.”
Jonghyun grinned looking out the window to see a pacing Kibum. The backside of him was gorgeous, so petite, just like a girl. “You want to learn how to play baseball? YOU, Kim Kibum, playing a sport? That’s like a shooting star… sure, meet me outside the house in ten. We can walk to the field, I’m sure it’s empty, no one will curse at you for being disgustingly bad.”
. . . . .
“That’s not how you hold it… Kibum are you listening to me at all? HEY!” Jonghyun was swinging his own bat around skillfully, glaring at the boy glued to his phone. He quickly sent the text with a smile, setting his phone into his pocket and resuming the lesson. His whining noise came from the back of his throat, rumbling through his gritted teeth,” Why do you say I’m doing it wrong when you don’t even show me how?! You’re a horrible teacher.”
Jonghyun shook his head with doubt, ignorance evident in his tone,” If I show you then something might happen… let’s play it safe and just watch me.”
Kibum rolled his eyes, his free hand rubbing his stomach,” What would happen, huh? I’d be good? Ugh, let’s get something to eat!” His threw his bat next to the dugout and sat on the orange sand, childishly folding his arms and letting his plump lips turn into a full out pout.
Jonghyun retrieved the bat and beckoned him to get up. He obeyed obediently, quickly wiping all the dirt he could from his tight pants. Kibum held onto the weapon, shifting his hands where his hyung pushed them. He felt hesitation all over Jonghyun but he kept quiet, slowly bending his knees as they were nudged inwards.
Jonghyun’s body was swiftly moved, his hips positioned behind Kibum,” Uh’kay, so you just move your bat at this angle and then…” the soft shoulder was exposed, making him gulp down hard. He moved back, shoving his hands into his pockets,” Hey, what time is it, Kibum?”
Kibum awkwardly took out his phone,” Three, why?”
“I better get home… it’s about time I go eat, see you tomorrow.”
Jonghyun tried to jog out of there but he was stopped, turned around, and shoved into a fence. Kibum inched closer, his face full with concern,” Hyung, why are you doing this again? Why can’t we… when we were junior high students, that day… it was a mistake! Don’t you get it? A mistake. If I could I’d turn back and walk back to class and leave Nicole there by herself. I can’t lose you, not again, please don’t barricade yourself from me! I’m your best friend, hyung; I can’t be without you again. I love you!”
Tears were running out of his eyes, he was clutching onto Jonghyun’s sleeves, pinning them onto the silver fence. Jonghyun looked away, his own eyes dripping out with tears as he bit his lip,” You don’t love me the way I love you… Kibum there’s a difference. I don’t want to be friends… I want more, haven’t you ever seen that? Don’t you remember the day when we were at lunch and we saw two guys touching each other? You said that it was selfish of them to switch genders, Kibum, I’m gay.”
Kibum automatically let go. He swiped a hand around his eyes and backed up,” You… no way, I’d notice, I would! I took showers with you, baths; I changed in front of you… HYUNG! You tricked me, you said we were best friends and that’s it… you saw me naked and you didn’t say anything!”
Jonghyun slid his body onto the ground; when did it all go wrong? A bat fell to the ground, rolling towards his feet. Soon enough everything fell to the ground, a friendship bracelet, a uniform, pitching glove, and last but not least, their friendship.
“Honesty… is a big thing for me; I thought you knew that already. We aren’t suited to be friends anymore, goodbye, Kim Jonghyun.”
The slow footsteps crossed the field and entered the world, the outside. The crackling noises of rubble echoed in his head. Here he goes again, separating himself from the world, leaving a soul in this park.
. . . . .
The walk home was quiet. The frogs laughed at him, mocking his unfortunate destiny. The wind blew in his face, showing how much of a push over he was.
He trudged up the stairs and collapsed on his bed. The aching pain hit him hard in the heart. He was throbbing with teenage angst. The one person he loved in the world was gone once again. But this time, he didn’t do the yelling.
He slumped over and pulled the small paperback out of his backpack. He flipped through the pages and smiled wearily at the happiness. He envied the smiles and laughter in their eyes. He didn’t know where those kids went, nor if they were ever coming back, he sure wishes they will.
He flipped to the back of the book and bit the cap off a pen.
Dear Karma,
Please make sure Kibum forgives me, one day, any day. If he loves me in any way please get back to me. I still have hope, although I’m sure you’re a big bad person like everyone says. Take care of me.
- Jonghyun.